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NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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"Point Doom" 1999

Point Doom (1999) is a direct to video Blockbuster exclusive. It features Jennifer O'Dell as a waitress in a strip club with an evil biker boyfriend, an epileptic sister, a rich high-power theatrical agent suitor who doesn't get a single phone call from a client through the entire film, and Andrew Dice Clay as a boss. The film includes a spectacular fiery auto crash, lots of stunts, great sets and locations, hoards of strippers, a motorcycle gang, some very nice lighting, and some sex scenes. You would think these ingredients could be assembled into a good film.

My first clue should have been when they misspelled the name of the film. The final showdown was to be at Point Dume, California. As the climax of the film was indeed doom for some, but rebirth for others, the pun wouldn't be appropriate even if intentional, which I doubt.

Q. Where should we have the final showdown?

A. They keep talking about this Point Doom on the weather (small craft warnings from Point Dume to the Mexican border).

The continuity problems are staggering. For instance, the strip club is advertised as bottomless, but none of the strippers ever are. It would not have changed the rating to show at least one nude from the back. As we approach the final showdown, Jennifer is so bored with the plot that she takes a nap and sets the alarm. The alarm never goes off, because it is important to the so-called plot that she over-sleep. They even recycle some dialogue in several scenes.

The pace is dismal, with gun fights moving at the speed of the final scene in Bonnie and Clyde. The only quick scene was the lovemaking with Jennifer. Her exposure was about 15 frames as she got out of bed to rush to her apartment to help her sister whom she knew wasn't there anymore (she was kidnapped). She did fall asleep after sex with white panties on, by the way, although we only see them in one frame. The plot, which centered around bad guys killing each other over money and drugs, and Jennifer's budding romance, was very muddled, with some scenes not even making sense.

So where did this go wrong? First, nobody wrote an intelligent script. Second, the director got as little as possible from his cast. I can imagine the following conversation during filming:

Jennifer: So, my motivation in this scene is that I still have some feelings for Blackie because he was so good to me in the beginning, but am beginning to fall for him (Richard Grieco) because he seems to really understand me and is being so helpful, right?

Director: Huh?

Jennifer: What do I feel here?

Director: You're horny, babe.

Steer well clear of this one.

Here's Scoopy's review from a couple months ago

  • Thumbnails

  • Strippers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Jennifer O'Dell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "The Misadventures of Margaret" (1998)

    The Misadventures of Margaret (1998) stars Parker Posey and features Jeremy Northam, Craig Chester, Elizabeth McGovern, Brooke Shields, and Corbin Bernsen in a lighthearted comedy that is sometimes confusing and misguided as it meanders through two plots, but has some very amusing moments. Parker visits France before starting grad school to lose her virginity to a Frenchman so she won't be the only postgrad virgin in school. She wakes up in the morning with him only to discover that he is English. When he proposes, she answers, "I just lost my virginity, not my mind."

    They do marry, and return to New York. Cut to several years in the future. She is given an award for her best selling novel, and we see that all is not well with her marriage. He is a Junior College professor of poetry, and spending most of his energy on work. She becomes absorbed in a French diary she is translating and adapting for her next novel, and visits France to see the actual chateau in the diary. There, she nearly has her tryst with a Frenchman. From this point on, we are asked to keep track of two stories -- the one we have been watching, and the adventures of the heroine of Parker's novel. She returns home, still feeling that something is missing in her life. When her Frenchman visits, she nearly has sex with him, but he passes because, "you make the noise, I don't know how you say in English -- like a pig?" When she discovers that her sister and her sister's best friend have been intimate, she tries for a lesbian tryst with her, but is rejected. Margaret finally scores with the dentist, after which she goes to her best friends apartment (he is gay). The friend finds her topless in the bath.

    Memorable lines include:

    Edward Nathan: Save some insanity for menopause!

    Edward Nathan: Don't look for trouble when there isn't any... 'cause if you don't find it, you end up creating it.

  • Margaret Nathan: You're aging.
  • Edward Nathan: You're helping.

    Parker Posey is brilliant, and saved what would have been, for me, an otherwise forgettable film. The two reviews listed on IMDB are split, and a handful of IMDB readers have it at 5.2/10. If you are a fan of Parker, give this one a look.

    Scoopy's (very brief) comments can be found in the Sept 9 back issue. Scoopy's images were done before the DVD was available, and are not adding if you pick these up.

  • Thumbnails

  • Parker Posey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at Heaven's Burning, kind of an Aussie version of Pulp Fiction, with plenty of torture and bloody shoot-outs and Russell Crowe instead of Bruce Willis as the dumb guy who pisses off the mob.

    and the Conversation. Back in 1974, at the pinnacle of his career, Coppola had two different films competing against each other for Best Picture. This is the one that didn't have Godfather in the title. It has a (distant) nude scene, despite a PG rating!

  • Elizabeth MacRae in "The Conversation".
  • Elizabeth MacRae in "The Conversation".
  • Youki Kudoh in "Heaven's Burning".
  • Brainscan
    Comments by Brainscan:

    Penultimate day for the Pet Fest. Today, PETScan offers his latest on subjects capped the past few days. First there is actress, model and Dolly's cuz, Julia Parton. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) I hear-tell that Julia was once a pornstar but the only caps I've seen of her show a lot more playing around with the other women in the cast than with any guys. Anyway, this babe defines the word, "endomorph."

    Then there is Julie Strain (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) , who is second only to Michelle Bauer and perhaps Lassie on the list of Pets in Movies. Julie is said to be 6'1" tall; these scans suggest that five feet of her height is from her bellybutton on down. Legs. Acres and acres of legs. PETScan brought in another video with her in it and I was impressed. In terms of presentation and sexiness I figure the video/movie industry has this as its continuum:

    Penthouse Videos----> Anything with Jennifer Connelly in it---> Skinemax direct-to-video stuff--->Zalman King things---->National Geographic specials---->Jim Lehrer Report----> Playboy Videos ----> White noise ----> Andy Sidaris movies.

    Did I miss anything?

    I scanned or plucked a couple of things, too. Catherine Zeta-Jones is in the news with her latest flic. We have all seen her topless and we were disappointed. We have all seen her act and we were disappointed (wanna view the starkest contrast in downright acting ability? Compare CZJ and Rene Russo in essentially parallel performances in Entrapment and The Thomas Crown Affair. Rene was hot and cool at the right times, formidable and vulnerable at other, right times. CZJ was a cipher, nada, nothing, a grade zeta if'n you asks me). So why do we like Empress Catherine? Her face! And that, boys, is what you get in this scan.

    And why do we like Nikki Cox ? Two reasons, and they generally do a good job holding up her costumes. Here she is at some premiere or something, sporting the latest in evening wear: the dress cut down to the shoes. THIS cannot be the only paparazzi pic of her in this outfit. Cannot be, wouldn't be right or fair, even in Texas.

    Another Brook's Side
    Three versions of topless paparazzi pictures of Kelly Brook that appeared in the Brit tabloids on Sunday.

    (1, 2, 3)

    Cristi's Nights
    Four old BobCat pics of Cristi Harris in "Night" pictures.

  • Night of the Demons 2 (1, 2)
  • Night of the Scarecrow (1, 2)
  • ... and

    Debrah Farentino in "Malice"

    Edwige Fenech in "Asso", from uc99

    Laura Tonke in "Just Married", from uc99
    ... silliness
    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong:
    
    
    * I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
    
    * Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 
    
    * Gun wounds again?
    
    * Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
    
    * A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
    
    * Darn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken.
    
    * Take my advice, or I'll spank you a lot.
    
    * Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
    
    * This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum.
    
    * I am sure you will not mind that I remove your toenails and leave
    them out on the dessert floor for ants to eat.
    
    * Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
    
    * I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
    


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