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Tuna
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"Tintorera"
Tintorera (1976), which translates Tiger Shark is an exploitation film trying to capitalize on the popularity of Jaws, and the sexual freedom of the mid 60s. IMDb has it as an 89 minutes UK release from 1977 and calls it horror/drama/thriller. The actual running time is 126 minutes, and it is a Mexican production. Two Mexican tourists, one a gigolo, the other a wealthy businessman who dropped from overwork, are on a small tropical island for vacation. The chief pastimes on the island are for English women to sleep with any available man, and fishing for sharks.
The businessman meets the woman of his dreams, Fiona Lewis, only to have her taken away by the clever gigolo. After sleeping with the gigolo, she goes for a nude swim, and is eaten by a tiger shark. When the businessman confronts the gigolo, they end up best of friends, and share Laura Lyons and Jennifer Ashley, then turn to a happy three way with Susan George. Meanwhile, the businessman has learned to spearfish for sharks from the gigolo. When a tiger shark eats the giglolo, George leaves, unable to face the memories.
Not to worry. Our businessman meets Priscilla Barnes and an unknown woman, and takes them to a party where he exchanges them for Lyons and Ashley. Then several from the party decide to go skinny dipping, and the shark eats Lyons and terrorizes the rest. At that point, the businessman gets pissed and goes after the shark.
The film is nearly non-stop nudity, including three B performances from Fiona Lewis, Laura Lyons and Jennifer Ashley, and breasts and buns from Susan George, Priscilla Barnes and at least two unknowns. The film uses a mixture of English and Spanish, without any rhyme nor reason, and has mixed subtitles that are often, but not always translations of the language being spoken into the other language. From this, I suspect that an English and a Spanish version were combined to create this DVD. Whatever the source material, the transfer looks very good indeed, with great color saturation, no sign of negative damage, and passable sound.
IMDb readers have this at 3.8 of 10. While that may be a fair score comparing it to every other movie ever made, it does much better using the Fun House grading system. It is an entertaining Jaws rip off with with a lot of nudity and good photography. The mixed subtitles were a little strange to get used to, but the film is long enough that I wasn't even noticing by the end. This is a C as a mid 70s foreign grade B exploitation film.
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Fiona Lewis
(1,
2,
3,
4,
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8,
9)
Jennifer Ashley
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
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10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
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20,
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24,
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26,
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Laura Lyons
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7)
Priscilla Barnes
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15)
Susan George
(1,
2,
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7,
8,
9,
10)
Unknowns
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7)
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Hi, y'all. I'm taking a mini-vacation.
I'll still be digging up some other crap every day, and will chip in
with some movies as well, but not with my usual volume of verbiage
and such! I
Other Crap:
-
The top 25 innovations of the last 25 years. (Well, 24
of 'em anyway. I assume #1 will be the internet)
-
Iran cracks down on the internet. No blogging, no social
networking.
-
Richard Roeper's 2004 GOOF (Greatly Overexposed and Overhyped
Fool) Awards
-
79 year old Paul Newman uninjured in fiery Daytona car crash.
I didn't know they had a farmer's market in Daytona Beach.
-
Meet the Fockers barely holds on to the top spot Friday.
(Not a lot going on this week. The only new release is the
critically reviled White Noise, which finished in a virtual tie
for first.)
-
'Million Dollar Baby' takes top honor at film critics awards
-
A Miami tractor-trailer driver hauling $180,000 worth of nickels
for the Federal Reserve has disappeared -- along with the money.
That's 22 TONS of nickels.
-
Now THIS was a New Years Party
-
Paris Hilton's ex-lover Rick Salomon plans a sequel to the tape
that made him millons. He boasts he has more red-hot
footage. A source revealed: "He is telling friends he has another
Paris porn tape ready to go. "
-
Former entertainer Britney Spears seen studying for her exams in
forensic science.
- Say it ain't so!
Kate Winslet to star in a sitcom.
-
NBC.com - Fear Factor - the rat-eating episode
- Need a pubic toupee?
The American Merkin Company is your destination of
choice.
-
AntiMagnet: we support the guy in china who sells these magnets
-
Skier and snowboarder beat the shit out of each other on the
slopes.
-
Batman Begins: new photos
-
Jennifer Garner suffers nerve damage from stunt, that
stunt being "sleeping with Affleck".
-
Six clips from Clint Eastwood's highly praised Million Dollar Baby
-
A clip from Boogeyman. A young man must return to his
childhood home and confront the terrifying visions that have
haunted him all his life.
-
Here's the trailer for RING TWO .
- Academy Award nominee Naomi Watts ("21 Grams") reprises the
role of investigative reporter Rachel Keller in "The Ring Two,"
the sequel to the horror hit "The Ring." Hideo Nakata, the
director of the original Japanese blockbuster "Ringu" upon which
"The Ring" was based, directed "The Ring Two," which marks his
American film debut. The story picks up six months after the
horrifying events that terrorized Rachel Keller and her son
Aidan (David Dorfman) in Seattle. To escape her haunting
memories, Rachel takes Aidan and moves to the small coastal
community of Astoria, Oregon, to start fresh. However, Rachel's
resolve quickly turns to dread when evidence at a local crime
scene—including an unmarked videotape—seems eerily familiar.
Rachel realizes that the vengeful Samara is back and more
determined than ever to continue her relentless cycle of terror
and death.
-
A race is on to claim the Arctic Circle. The melting
arctic ice has stimulated what will probably be the planet's last
land grab. At stake are shipping lanes, fishing rights and mineral
rights.
-
TinyP2P, The World's Smallest P2P Application. This was
written by a Princeton professor, and it is an elegant little 15
lines of code that allow you more technical guys to create your
own personal p2p network.
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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ICMS
|
Words, pictures, and vids from
ICMS
"Te Doy Mis Ojos" (2003)
May I ask your attention for a Spanish movie? It's a movie that
deservedly won 7 out of 9 Goyas, the Spanish equivalent of
the Oscars, for which it was nominated. The film that I'm
going to praise here is "Te Doy Mis Ojos" (2003; aka. Take
my eyes) and is the tangible proof that you don't need a
$100+ million budget to make a good movie, let alone a bad
one.
The movie is a psychological (or even sociological) drama
about domestic violence. Before anyone starts thinking "oh
no, not one of these politically correct biased art films
again that only pleases the target audiences it was made
for", let me tell you that it carefully avoids this trap
and clips # 4 and 5 are certainly not representative for
the overall tone of the movie, far from. But let us reveal
a bit of the story first.
One night in Toledo, Spain we see Pilar (Laia Marull) and
her young son Juan seek shelter from her husband Antonio
(Luis Tosar) at her sister Ana's (Candela Peña) house.
Although her sister lives in a small place with her
Scottish fiancé whom she is about to marry, she takes
Pilar and Juan in, of course. Ana also finds out that the
physical abuse of her sister has been going on for years
and advises her to divorce. Antonio however is doing his
utmost, or so it seems, to win his wife and son back and
Pilar isn't ready either to give up her marriage to the
man she truly loves. And it looks like he is going to
succeed, Pilar returns home and he doesn't abuse her
physically anymore. But is that enough to make a happy
marriage?
Antonio is still working on his violent streaks, which are
now aimed against objects and still scare the hell out of
his wife. In the meantime faithful Pilar found a job as a
museum guide, takes much pride in her work and develops
her cultural knowledge as well. Jealous Antonio, on the
other hand, remains stuck in his job as a surly salesman
of electrical home equipment in his dad's business, and
stays frozen in his usual attitudes. Furthermore he
realizes that he is underachieving, which bothers him but
not his wife. It is obvious that things will clash and
come to a climax, given his past behavior. The result
is not that physically violent for Pilar but very, very
cruel and humiliating nevertheless.
The movie is in my opinion brilliantly made. The script
explores every possible psychological angle of the subject
with great subtlety. It would have been easy to fall into
the trap of portraying Antonio as a brute who loves
violence, we learn that in fact he doesn't, but he really
sees no other way. At the end you certainly don't feel any
sympathy for him, but you somehow feel a little bit sorry
as well for this man with his limited social and
educational skills who never learnt to express his
feelings in a non-violent manner. The film also avoided
to picture Pilar as a battered, weak, emotional and
passive woman; that too would have been far to easy a
cliché. As I mentioned before, the movie works on a much
more subtle psychological level that fills you with a
certain amount of empathy for both characters and until
the last 10 minutes it keeps you dangling on how the story
will unwind.
The flawless and subtle script never leads to boredom,
while the lighting, the camera work and the editing are
top notch. Director Icíar Bollaín, also co-author of the
script, clearly knew what she was doing, but what makes
the movie work even better are the brilliant
performances from the actors. Luis Tosar very accurately
portrays a completely believable character, while Laia
Marull is simply brilliant. Her facial expressions and
manners are painstakingly realistic and keep you glued to
the screen for the whole 103 minutes of the movie. You
even wonder if she might have gone through a similar
experience in real life. The combination of all
aforementioned strong points makes watching this movie an
eerily realistic experience that should be compulsory
viewing for men with violent behavior. Sometimes a long
good look in the mirror achieves more than hours of
counseling.
Based on this review, this movie rates as B+. Normally I'm
not a huge fan of this genre, and I saw many
psychological/talkative drama's that couldn't hold my
attention, but this one did from beginning to ending. 492
IMDb users rated it 7.5, with women appreciating it just a
tad more than men. So the film clearly appealed to both
sexes, plus to all age groups alike as well.
According to Yahoo! Movies this movie is set for release
on April 25, 2005 in the US. It did well at the box office
in its home country but incomprehensibly didn't have much
of an international release so far. It is already
available on DVD in Spain (€ 9.99 in promotion at
www.dvdgo.com) and as a
rental in Belgium from
www.dvdpost.be. It will also come to DVD as a retail
version in Belgium an Holland at the end of this month and
in France in April (title: "Ne dis rien"). The Spanish
version has a commentary track as well as some extras from
which the bathing scene portrayed in Vejita's caps from
March 17, 2004 probably comes. My clips come from the
Belgian rental version that didn't have any extras. The
Spanish region 2 version has subtitles in English and
French, but the Spanish hardly ever subtitle the extras,
so I don't think I'll end up buying this version as my
Spanish is too mediocre and I wouldn't understand them.
For those of you who might be tempted to give this film a
go, I sincerely hope that I didn't spoil your viewing
pleasure with this review. I really did my best not to
give too much away, but reviewing the film without
revealing anything proved impossible. For those of you who
wonder if I am familiar with this kind of violence, let me
assure you that I am not. It is just portrayed in such a
way that it becomes so recognizable and real that
you simply cannot stay untouched by this feature. Or maybe
I just got carried away, but then so would have been the
jury who awarded the 7 Goyas.
Tomorrow we'll take a look at what director Icíar Bollaín,
who is also an actress, looks like. Since this is the Fun
House it will be a full frontal look of course. Or whadda
ya thunk?
Nudity report:
- In one scene Laia Marull is nude in bed with her
husband but only her breasts are visible. In another scene
when her husband puts her on display on the balcony of
their appartment she is bottomless wearing a bra only.
- Luis Tosar can be seen naked also, front and back.
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A quick site note
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Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
There are many kinds of movies with strippers. Some
are big-production, big-star numbers in which the main
characters are strippers, the minor characters are
strippers and the really minor characters are people
who know or work with strippers. Showgirls,
Striptease and Dancing at the Blue Iguana are the
prototypes of this group.
Then there are movies in which the main character is a
stripper but she doesn't strip much and the time spent
in the club is a teensy weensy part of the whole
sheebang. Closer (Natalie Portman) and Criss Cross
(Goldie Hawn) are the icons of this group.
The second largest group of movies with strippers is
the gritty action drama or the horny teenager comedy
with a gratuitous visit to a clothing removal
establishment for 20 seconds of T and ten of A. Helps
spice up the flic, you know. Sometimes the stripper
has a name, but usually she does not. Several episodes
of The Sopranos serve as nice examples.
Yet by far most strippers who have appeared on screen
peopled a genre of film called the stripper murder
mystery. Stripped to Kill with the yummy Kay Lenz is
the mother of this genre; and it helped set two rules
in place: 1) the title has to have dance or strip or
tease ot something very much like those. Midnight
Tease I and II are a couple of examples. Dance with
Death is another. 2) The Briggs Law of this genre is
that the murderer, herself, is a stripper. Sometimes
she is disguised, sometimes she is an ex-stripper but
if a stripper is killed, a stripper did the deed.
Hatchetman (2003) breaks these rules. Rule 1 is
obvious, unless the stripper in question uses a
hatchet in her act and is a guy. The title tells you
its the person doing the killing.. using the
hatchet... who is supposed to be the star. Rule 2 is
also tossed out the window but you figure out that
fact when only one stripper is left and she's being
chased by the guy with the hatchet.
And the person who turns out to hold the hand-axe
makes no damn sense at all. No possible way it could
have been him. You should understand, however, that I
paid about as much attention to the storyline as I do
to the regular season of he NHL. Which reminds me.
Can anyone tell me how the Blues are doing... can't
find the scores anywhere in the paper. The plot and
the dialogue of Hatchetman don't just suck... and they
don't just blow.. they spew.
But who cares? You got 7 women in some state of
undress. One of them you know: Mia Zottoli (aka Ava
Lake). She has three strip routines, a shower scene
and a stand-around-topless in-front-of-a-mirror scene.
You get to see hours and hours of Ava/Mia's
robohooters plus some bum. The other six are
newcomers and most of 'em are absolute dolls, although
the two best-looking do show us some bum and just
about nothing else.
Cheryl Burns, who IMDb calls Cheryl Renee, plays the
lead. She and her best bud, played by Racquel Richard
are the two rarest creatures on the planet. First
off, they are college girls stripping to pay tuition.
That one and the idea that you'll get your wang blown
in the VIP room are the biggest myths this side of
Loch Ness. Secondly, they play strippers who don't
take off their clothes. That sorta means they are not
strippers, right? But there you go, college girls who
stand on stage but don't strip and get paid enough to
afford USC. Mother Goose didn't invent fairytales any
better than that one.
Nina Tapanin, Fonta Sawyer and Leila Renae also play
strippers. Fonta and Leila are, well, sorta chunky
but they are cute. Leila has two stripping scenes
whereas a dressing-room scene is the only bit of
Fonta's exposure because her character was axed early
in filming. And then there is Nina. She rings my
chimes. Nina is thin in an athletic sense and small
in places that American men prefer large but she has
red hair and a killer bum. So I went all gaga on her
caps and made as many collages as I could. Hope she
does a lot more of this kinda work.
There is a seventh stripper, a thin blonde with a
lovely caboose... sorta the peroxide version of
Nina... whose name I did not catch. But I matched all
the other fictitious gals to actress' names, so she
has to be the one remaining...and that would be
Christine Lepanto. She does has two scenes, one with
a white outfit and one with a black outfit. They are
otherwise identical.
So sure, you bet, I'd recommend this movie because of
the nekkid and near-nekkid gals. Or maybe what I
would recommend is a 10 minute version of the movie in
which all the clothing removal remains and all the
acting is given the hatchetman treatment. That
version I would rent again.
About the exposure:
Cheryl Burns shows a real nice bum and a slim
bikini-clad body, topped by a beautiful face in
collages 1 and 3. Terrific-looking woman. In collage
2 is all the other exposure she has: a distant
reflection of her sport-humping and a
frosted-shower-door scene.
Racquel Richard has the classic California girl look.
You see her bum in tight, tiny lingerie.
Ava/Mia shows off the robotized equipment in five
collages. With her, the DP and make-up people have
the task of softening her features, otherwise she
looks like a bull dyke. In collage 5, both of those
technical artists work wonders: it is the best I have
ever seen Ava/Mia and that is saying something because
this movie, gentlemen, is the eighth time I have
capped and composed an Ava/Mia scene. Sorta tells you
something about me. don't it?
- Ava Lake/Mia Zottolli
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
Fonta Sawyer shows off a creditable superstructure
dressing for her very last date.
Leila Renae has two stripping scenes and shows off her
nice upper body quite a bit. Too bad she also shows
off a seriously chunky sub-equatorial region. This
combination of good stuff poisoned by bad stuff is
what the late Cal Ripken Sr. used to refer to as half
a great play.
Christine Lepanto gives up two of the three Bs in big
time fashion. If a pale blonde with a tush to die for
is your kind of woman, look no further
And last up is Nina Tapanin. Two B's in every
collage, each of them delightful. I hope she and
Cheryl and Racquel go on to have careers longer than
that of Ava/Mia.
- Nina Tapanin
(1,
2,
3,
4)
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PAL
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Linnea Quigley |
The Scream Queen and long time Fun House topless in a sex scene from "Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings" (1994).
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Alison Eastwood |
Topless in scene from "If You Only Knew" (2000). Clint's little girl is mostly behind a frosty glass shower door, but thankfully we don't need to strain our eyes to see the goods.
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Audrey Benoit |
Topless in scenes from the made for cable series "The Hunger", episode: "Clarimonde".
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Maria Schrader
(1,
2,
3)
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The German actress is topless and on the phone in 3 different scenes from 1995's "Stille Nacht". Link #3 also features a full frontal nude scene.
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Spaz
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'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Snowballin'" (1972) aka Apres-Ski
The first North American sex comedy which is still
the high watermark in the nudity department.
The full version available only on bootleg DVD contains
vintage 1960s x-rated porn inserts and an explicit sex scene removed
from the video version.
"Naked Massacre" (1976)
Euro-exploitation loosely based on the Richard Speck murders
of a house full of nurses.
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Dann
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Venus Rising"
One person called this 1995 Sci-Fi "The worst film EVER." Well, it's not. I've seen a lot worse. That doesn't mean it's very good, though.
Set it the future, a prison on an island, run by a giant corporation, is abandoned. The prisoners, staff, and their families are left to rot, with no food supply or any other help. Since the automated systems helping secure the prison are still in place, escape is practically impossible. After two do escape, they are faced with a world on the outside that in some ways is worse than what they escaped from, as they are tracked by a killer hired by the corporation to prevent escapees from being at large.
Pretty bad, but Sci-Fi buffs may find some interesting stuff in all of this, and Audie England's nudity, while not as plentiful as in some of her other films, is always interesting.
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UC99
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'Caps and comments by UC99:
Sci-Fi-Lederhosen-ploitation...
Here are 'caps from "Ach jodel mir noch einen" AKA "2069: A Sex Odyssey" (1974).
The story: A flying saucer lands in Bavaria. A bunch of young ladies from planet Venus descends to earth. Their mission: to collect sperm. Otherwise their people (females only) will not survive. Of course they easily succeed in finding volunteers.
The movie: without a doubt a milestone of contemporary trash cinema in 1974. "Really sexist" as one viewer commented. And, oh yes, rather funny.
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