Angel of H.E.A.T. (1982) is a classic exploitation secret agent spoof staring Marilyn Chambers as an underground crime fighter and Mary Woronov as a government agent. The LSD altered son of a semiconductor company founder has hatched a plot to take over the world by building androids, and then using punk rock to control everyone. The story is every bit as lame as that sounds, and even includes an evil dwarf, a German boyfriend who speaks Japanese, a Kung Fu master who looks like Mr. Myagi but speaks German, tandem hang gliding, and other inanities.

On the other hand, we have full frontal from Marilyn Chambers, full frontal from Mary Woronov, and Mary Woronov and Remy O'Neill in a topless mud wrestling/lesbian scene. IF you are a Woronov fan, you will want to add this dubious masterpiece to your collection. There has never been a decent quality home release of this film, and the DVD is as bad as the previous Laser disk and VHS versions. There is plenty of humor, both intentional and unintentional, but the real reason to watch it is the nudity. C-.

Updates:

• Four encyclopedia volumes are updated, and about 50 new ones have been added. Check out the encyclopedia main page. EVERY one in yellow was added or updated today. (All previous updates were cleared back to white)

Movies from Shiloh:

Shiloh is a new contributor who specializes in finding movie clips. Since we discussed Elisabetta Cavalotti and Chloe Sevigny yesterday, he thought a good theme for today would be "explicit oral scenes featuring six mainstream actresses". As always, we think the best way to view these is to right click on them, then download them to the directory of your choice for viewing at your leisure from your hard disk. This also allows you view the progress of the download, which a left click does not.

These are not my clips, but every single one worked fine for me, so if you can't view them you need to figure out the missing codec.

• Carol Laure in The Angel and the Woman (1, 2, 3).  Poor quality, but visible.

• Elisabetta Cavallotti in a movie Guardami. This seems to be a sound clip, but the sound seems to be surface noise. Visual quality is excellent.

• Amanda Ooms in Hotel St Pauli. Barely satisfactory quality.

• Kerry Fox in "Intimacy". Pretty good quality, but small - only 140 pixels high.

• Eiko Matsuda in In the Realm of the Senses. This one has sound, and is good quality.

• Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny (this is NOT the BJ scene, but does show Chloe topless). Quality is satisfactory. It looks as good as the trailer, which it is excerpted from, but the trailer wasn't that spectacular to begin with.

OTHER CRAP:

You might want to look at this one first (hint-hint):

• Fourth Annual Weblog Awards Nominate your favorite weblogs for the Bloggie awards to be presented at SXSW Interactive. You could nominate, for example, Other Crap (OtherCrap.com), in five or ten categories, and/or you could nominate sites that actually deserve to win.

We now return to our broadcast:

• Hello potential terrorist, welcome to the USA! (The Daily Show)
• Jim Carrey is lookin' mighty weird with short hair.
• X-Entertainment: Curious about GloFish? X-E bought some. Here's the story.
• Verhoeven announces his first project in three years. The new film reteams Verhoeven with screenwriter Gerard Soeteman, who wrote many of the director's earlier Dutch films.
• Fantasy, Familiar Faves Win People's Choice Awards - complete list. : 'Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl' won the favorite movie award, while 'Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers' took the favorite drama category. 'Bruce Almighty' was named favorite comedy. Oprah won all other awards.
• FreakingNews.com - Photoshop Contest - In light of Pete Rose confessing what everybody already knew, what other celebrities and politicians might come out and confess?
• FallonFey.com now has the complete Weekend Update from the Jennifer Aniston show
• Java Game Center- 348 games
• Emmy Award winning songwriter Hugh Prestwood was arrested in a Long Island Airport yesterday after airport security personnel discovered a loaded gun in his personal luggage. Hey, whataya gonnna do when they won't give you more peanuts? Ya gotta give 'em some incentive.
• Yeah, sure, Bullwinkle was all cute 'n everything, but a real moose? - do not get them angry. You wouldn't like them when they're angry.
• North American International Auto Show 2004 - videos from every manufacturer
• Nostalgia. The Cereal Box Gallery
• The mysterious "Voynich manuscript". A possible explanation for the world's most enigmatic book.
• Phone Losers of America. Prank calls, taped conversations with telemarketers, etc.
• Manning chokes in another playoff game. Yeah, those sportswriters really know what they're talkin' about, eh? In this week's failure to play under pressure, Manning scored six of the first seven times his offense had the ball, and the Colts did not punt at all - for the second straight game.
• A nostalgic look at Superman the musical. According to the site, the actor playing Superman in the TV version looked like "a deranged Ted Koppel". (True - there is a pic)
• FreakingNews.com - Photoshop Contest - Show how Pepsi or other businesses will settle in Iraq.
• Own your own death ray.
• Nasty outtakes. "Outtakes from a variety of celebrities who have dropped their phony masks and exposed the flawed, imperfect and surprisingly angry individual trapped inside." Includes plenty of Shatner singing - just because.
• Your new HP computer will rat you out if you pirate music! "HP will build, license or acquire the best content protection technologies it can find to prevent its customers from illegally downloading and sharing copyright material."
• Cuba cracks down on internet use: Ah, the good life in the glorious worker's paradise.
• According to the Irish news website Unison.ie, Cillian Murphy will play the Scarecrow in the new Batman movie. He is said to have beaten Viggo Mortensen for the part.
• Reverse Astrology. You tell them what your personality is, and it guesses your star sign. Amazingly enough, it correctly guessed that I was an Aquarius. I answered the personality test honestly, but lied about my birthday, and it still guessed right!
• 'Big Fish' Edges 'Rings' From Top Spot
• Movie House commentary on Big Fish
• Get Tiffany - Online Multiplayer Game Four players try to win the heart of a girl named Tiffany.
• Magic Mill- Create a fake college diploma, transcript, recommendation letter, etc.
• FreakingNews.com - Photoshop Contests - "Give a new look to characters of "Finding Nemo" by 'cloning' them with politicians/celebrities OR show characters of "Finding Nemo" in real life situations"
• ET-lookin' actress sent for elocution lessons. Jennifer Ellison is having elocution lessons because Hollywood bosses are struggling to understand her strong Scouse accent.
• Revealed: unseen pictures of The Beatles in America
• A video for The Vagina Song! This is  funny - sounds like a theme from a 1950's movie or TV Western.
• Ryan Adams has taken the Courtney Love route and left a cuss-filled voice mail for Chicago Sun-Times rock critic Jim Derogatis. Derogatis, of course, put it on the internet. See below.
• Here is Ryan Adams's rant
• Vlad Guerrero to play for the Angels
• 1984 Apple ad gets an iPod: "For their 20 year anniversary, Apple digitally added an iPod to Anya Major, the actress who throws the hammer in the famous 1984 ad directed by Ridley Scott. See both versions.
• Nader says his candidacy would benefit Democrats. {cough} blowjob {cough}. He also claimed that he was doing it to pick up chicks, because "running for President makes me a babe magnet".
• Lego Nerd Update: Nathan Sawaya | The Art of the Brick
• 'Return of the King' Wins Critics' Choice. Sean Penn - best actor. Charlize Theron - best actress.
• Sumo neighbourhood watch set up. A group of professional Sumo wrestlers has started a neighbourhood watch scheme in a crime-stricken district in Tokyo.

  
   

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"Bikini Squad"
When this 1993 satirical spoof was made, Baywatch was one of the most popular TV shows on the planet (and one of the worst, in my opinion). In making sure that Bikini Squad is as bad as the show she's parodying, director Valerie Breiman delivers a comedy that probably offended everyone on the original show. By making the leads look like total idiots, she's simply confirmed an opinion I already had for years: the show sucked and the people on it were basically jerks.

This movie is so goofy, lame, and the actors portrayed as so incredibly dumb and self-involved, that you'll love the movie even if you were a big fan of the original. It is a brilliant movie in that it captured the essence of crap that was Baywatch, and does it while making you laugh, a lot. In addition, they show plenty of goodies, because as the producer character said, "sure we do tits and ass, but we do sensitive tits and ass". How could you not like a movie like that? :-)

• Maureen Flaherty
• Julie Strain
• Donna Baltron
• Assorted bikini babes

Brittany McCrena
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)