Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

TOP BUMPER STICKERS SEEN AROUND THE WORLD

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over..[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

Well as long as we're on a baseball kick. More baseball stuff: A note on Tony Perez

Nothing against Tony. He was a good ballplayer, and the Hall of Hame standards are inconsistent and subjective anyway, but Tony Perez and Gil Hodges were the same guy. They were both slugging righthanded first basemen on two of the greatest hitting teams that ever existed. They are the same height and weight, both also batted righthanded. In each case, they were no better than the fourth best guy on the team, possibly the fifth best. Hodges was behind Campy, Snider, Robinson, and maybe Reese on the 52-53 Dodgers. Perez was behind Bench, Morgan, Rose, and maybe Foster on the 75-76 Reds. They each had 7 seasons of 100 or more RBI's, although Hodges did it in a shorter career. (Hodges' seven were consecutive, not that that matters)

Lifetime

         Slugging     OBP    HR    Avg 
Perez      .463       .344   379   .279
Hodges     .487       .361   370   .273

Best three seasons

        avg  hr-rbi obp-slug 
Perez:  .317 40-129 .405-.589
        .314 27-101 .396-.527
        .294 37-122 .360-.526

Hodges: .304 42-130 .384-.579
        .268 40-103 .374-.527
        .302 31-122 .393-.550

I can't find a dime's worth of difference except for Perez's impressive lifetime total of 500+ doubles. Perez had more lifetime RBI's, but Hodges actually got more RBI's per 100 at bats. Perez just played longer. It is reasonable to say that Perez amassed his numbers in a time and ballpark when those numbers were harder to come by. Hodges benefitted from high levels of offense in the early 50's, and Ebbets Field was a hitters park. On the other hand, Perez amassed some of his biggest numbers in the late 60's, when pitchers had the upper hand. But Total Baseball, theoretically adjusting for league offensive levels and park effects, ranks Hodges 281st of all-time, and Perez 402nd. (Both of them should probably get in line way behind Ron Santo, who is 45th, played a more demanding defensive position, and is not in the hall.)

Hodges died young. Although he's been gone for nearly 30 years, he'd only be 75 now if he had lived. I guess there really is nobody left to plead his case. Except me, I suppose. So I say publicly if Perez goes in, Hodges should go. Either both in or both out. They are the same guy.

For those that asked: my favorite baseball sources on the web.

The official statistics of baseball. all stats for 1998 and 1999. Longer historical stats for existing players.

Sean Lehman's Baseball Archive. Player stats 1871-1998. That's a lotta years.

Reuters sports photos. Up to the minute. Also includes women's tennis, if you prefer! Also just about any other friggin' sport or pseudosport you can think of.

The baseball guru. This is the best link site I have found. Click on the topic you are researching, and he gives you all the best links. Very detailed info available about obscure topics like uniform numbers, baseball cards, the Negro Leagues, all-star game homerun derbies, you name it.

SABR. The Society for American Baseball Research. Members include all the noted sabermetricians like Bill James and Pete Palmer and even some guy nicknamed Scoopy. OK, I admit I never use this site, but I am a member, pleased to be one, and I'm plugging them. If you like the kind of crap that I write about baseball, they have a few hundred more guys that make me feel like a Bantu who has never seen a game. Many publications come with membership.

Tuna's comments: "The Two Roses. 'Devil in the Flesh' is a made-for-cable Poison Ivy clone. McGowan is evil incarnate, as she slashes and burns through every obstacle in her path. Although she has a sexy wardrobe, she has no real nudity. Sherrie Rose, who plays the girlfriend of a High School teacher McGowan is hot for, shows us her breasts from every possible angle." (Scoop's note: didn't our girl Rosie play this exact same part in 'Jawbreaker'?)

McGowan not nude (#1, #2, #3) Sherrie Rose quite topless (#1, #2, #3)

Korina Longin part 2, and Fleur Couwenbergh on Blinky's runway today.

Longin (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6) Couwenbergh (#1, #2)

Members Bonuses- Basic Instinct

Basic Instinct

I won't repeat my comments from yesterday, which were approximately as verbose as Isaac Asimov's lifetime output. Check yesterday's issue to see my thoughts on the movie. One last Sharon Stone today. Had to do it when I saw those nipples. The rest are Tripplehorn.

Tripplehorn

Stone

Members Bonus

FR I'll let FR's letter speak for itself:

" ..... Scoopy, brand-new "Hot off the Press" pics. Spice Babe Mel G in some holiday paparazzi shots of her holiday in Thailand with her new boyfriend.I made a quick cap of it. I didn't sign the cap...You never know (pics are still press shots), but it's OK to credit me as FR. Exclusive on Scoopy"

Well done, dude!

Yesterday: Lindsey, 19 from Lancashire. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)

The request feature is, says WhyScans, "one of my personal favourites, Suzanne Mizzi. She was excellent, but these pics don't do her justice." (#1, #2)

Ever wonder what the Playboy, Page Three, and other softcore models do when not modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does. Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue, "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls. Today's comments:

"For those who couldn't get enough of Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst in the series Sherman Oaks on Showtime, or in videos like The Granny, this probably still isn't enough, but in a drought it is at least a small drink of water."

(SCOOP'S NOTE: the first one is a non-nude! I didn't even know Fred owned any of those.) (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17)

El Kabong

More porno babes:

Alyssa Alps. (#1, #2, #3, #4)

Mimi Miyagi. Although her father, Mr Miyagi, was disappointed that she didn't get into the family karate business, she did use some of his training. Oh, she doesn't really need "wax on", but she often "wax off" on camera. (#1, #2, #3, #4)

Donbun

New vidcaps of Lina Romay in "Tender Flesh"

(#1, #2)

Slarti

New vidcaps (he specializes in German TV). Sorry, no nudes today.

Jannete Koessler in "Schlosshotel",

Tina Plate in "JBK",

Friday