FearDotCom (2002) is, as near as I can tell, a double horror film, both related to a Web site, feardotcom.com. Horror one is a mad doctor (actually a medical school washout) who tortures bound women until they ask to be killed, then obliges them. The second horror is the ghost of one of his victims who haunts the Internet, killing people who log on to the site. At least, that is my best guess as to the plot. The director indicated that he intended it to be a little ambiguous, and that his real aim was just to be scary. He also prided himself on making the darkest film of all time.

Anna Thalbach, as a victim of the ghost, shows breasts dead in the bathtub, on a morgue slab, and in a home video. Astrid Skuyat also shows breasts in several scenes as the mad doctors current victim. IMDB readers have this at 3/5 of 10. It grossed $13.2 against a $42M budget. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 3%, with 0% from the top critics. I absolutely hated it. First of all, when I watch a movie, I like to see the movie, not dark shadows in dark places. Second, the set decoration was 1930's New York, which was a little out of place with an Internet Horror film. Third, the film was full of logic errors, and finally, I never really felt any sense of peril or dread. D-.

Updates:

• new volumes for: Maud Adams, Amina Annabi, Valerie Allain, Anna Ammirati, Bibi Andersen, Erika Anderson, Lisa Bonet

Other crap:

• this is a very interesting site - worldwide beauty - various naked women from assorted parts of the world
• more of the above
• Butts Across America - what can you say?. People mooning in front of roadside attractions
• Has the world gotten a litte nutty? Barring a diplomatic coup, the chairmanship of the UN Commission on Human Rights will pass next week to the Libyan dictator, Colonel Moammar Gadhafi.
• a review of the script of Pitch Black 2
• rumor: Soderbergh to make Ocean's 12, actors to work more or less for free
• that legendary UK institution, The Sun,  to come under new management - big question is  - will they keep Page Three Girls?
• Entertainment Weekly picks the Top 10 A-List actresses
• where else could this happen but in a soccer match?- goalie plays for ten minutes, unaware that the game had been cancelled because of foggy conditions (second story). I knew nothing ever happened in soccer.
• Bud Selig a hero? Hard to believe, but he gets universal praise for his decision to let the all-star winner have home field advantage in the series
• band camp chick to get married
• useless facts from Heisenberg's Fun House
• Satan announces his presidential bid in 2004. The real Satan.
• cool site explaining how to duplicate various food formulas from chain restaurants
• Peter Townsend's explanantion "I was just researching kiddie porn for an article", while it sounds like bull at first, appears to have some truth to it! The Smoking Gun has the evidence.
• Steven Soderbergh had an off year, with two failures, Solaris and Full Frontal, but he kicked butt compared to former wunderkind Darren Aronofsky. Roger Friedman of Fox News said, "I hear that Darren Aronofsky's film, Fountain, which Warner Bros. pulled the plug on last summer just before it began shooting in Australia, may be back on. Aronofsky told me recently that this was a possibility and I've heard it elsewhere. Warner effectively pillaged Fountain when it needed star Brad Pitt to come be in Troy, a bazillion-dollar epic I'm not sure anyone wants to see. Aronofsky has not had the best year. A film he co-produced and wrote but chose not to direct, called Below, was shall we say, swept aside by Dimension/Miramax this fall. Despite a good cast and the usual sci-fi mumbo jumbo, Below took in $589,424 in three weeks before disappearing altogether. There's a rumor that it's playing in Singapore." Scoop's note: it is rated a fairly solid 6.8 at IMDb.
• Rosie Perez discusses her first night on stage naked in Frankie and Johnny "I was so nervous that in the scene where my robe's in
  my hand I dropped it. I dropped the robe. That meant I had to bend down to pick it up. And my rear was to the audience. Ugggh, don't ask. I nearly died. I was a wreck. I heard one guy in the audience suck his breath in."
• Roger Ebert's Eight Lowest Rated films of 2002. (Note: Mr. Ebert did not review Pinocchio or Pluto Nash. He awarded one star to Swept Away, which just missed this list. Master of Disguise also received one star. Crossroads received one and a half.). Links go to his reviews.

no stars:

• SLACKERS

one half of a star:

• BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER
• DEATH TO SMOOCHY
• HALF PAST DEAD
• JASON X
• ROLLERBALL
• SORORITY BOYS
• THE HOT CHICK

• James Berardinelli's Nine Lowest Rated films of 2002. (Note: Mr. Berardinelli did not review Pinocchio or Pluto Nash. He awarded one and a half stars to Swept Away and Slackers, which just missed this list.) Links go to his reviews.

one half of a star

• Master of Disguise

one star

• Big Fat Liar  
• Crossroads  
• Halloween: Resurrection  
• Hot Chick, The
• Jason X  
• Kung Pow: Enter the Fist  
• Rollerball (2002)  
• Serving Sara  

the consensus bottom five, based on both lists, would be: Rollerball, The Hot Chick, Jason X, Slackers, and The Master of Disguise, not necessarily in that order.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Kelly LeBrock, breasts, bum and a hint of bush in scenes from the 1984 movie "The Woman in Red".

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Houston, we have a problem. The old time Machine was not running right on yesterday's return trip from 1972 so we had to take it into the shop for service. Right next door is a video rental store, so we went in and came out with a little gem of a straight to video 2002 release of "Death Factory" ( so obscure I doubt that even Tuna has done this one ). As I took this turkey home I wondered to myself, why am I renting this when I have about 200 or so DVD's that I have yet to cap ( I never told you I was smart ) .

Now I love horror movies ( this is not a horror movie, more gore and blood than I think I have ever seen in any movie), but I like spooky not gore. So having said that I fast forwarded looking for the nudity that the box cover promised me.

Here's what we came up with, the star is Lisa Jay who did not get naked, but wore a low cut white short dress ( somehow a woman in a short white skirt or dress is a turn on for me ). Anyhow we did some caps of Lisa which give us a little leg and cleavage and the last couple show her in distress and that pretty white dress covered in blood. Lisa was the lucky one she escaped and the very last cap we see her in a hospital bed. If your squeamish skip the last couple of caps.

Now the good stuff, Rhoda Jordan in a scene of love making with her boyfriend. This lady has one impressive rack and shows it off for us.The bad news is Rhoda meets a tragic end and it was even bloodier than Lisa's scene, so guess what I skipped it, better to remember her this way. This movie was released by Brain Damage Films, so I guess you have to be brain damaged to watch it ( I know what your thinking, but I didn't watch it I fast forwarded ).

Well that's it for today, have to go check and see how the repairs on the time machine are going, could be a problem there, took it to the Ford dealer and the mechanic said he would have to see if he can find a service manual. So where we go next is anybody's guess.

• Lisa Jay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Rhoda Jordan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Melanie and Rae Dawn both play strippers and look fantastic as they strut their stuff on stage. Wonderful toplessness and thong views from Mel and Rae as well as from a bunch of unknown strippers.

Answering a request for Fun House readers...I came across a Katherine Heigl pic from "Prince Valiant" that hasn't appeared in any DVD/VHS/TV version. It appeared on a Russian site I found. I'm hoping a Russian speaking Fun House reader may be able to find some more info or even a copy of it.

VOTER NEWS SERVICE KAPUT
Will Make Wild Guesses For Food - Monday, six major news organizations (CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN, Fox News and A.P.) announced they are disbanding Voter News Service. The group's screwed-up exit polls and incorrect winner projections helped foul up the 2000 election. The news agencies say they're not giving up on projections, but will try to find a more accurate method.