A Sweet Sickness (1965) is a roughie that was a pick-up for Friedman. Someone else made it but couldn't afford to release it, so Dave did. It is the story of starry eyed starlets who come to Hollywood to make it big, and what happens to them between casting couches and "modeling jobs and art films. The film stars Vincene Craddock, AKA Vincene Wallace, one of the more prolific actresses in this era. As the film opens, she is still rather innocent, and is not getting any work. Her girlfriend, VIcki Carbe caught on, and is friendly with casting directors, agents, and the like, and so is making plenty of money, albeit mostly on her back.

We see a plump unknown showing breasts trying to impress an agent, and another unknown who does a strip for the agent, and also shows panties. She leaves when he demands sex, and the agent offers the job to Craddock. Margeurite Zalud plays a stripper in the club that Craddock accepts the job in. Later, she is drugged and photographed in an orgy scene with Sharon Wells and Yuki Tani. Tai shows breasts, and Wells shows everything, as do Carbe and Craddock.

There are no reviews of this film that I could find. It is pretty much non-stop nudity and simulated sex. The plot, I suspect, was only there to provide redeeming social merit. I liked it more than the usual roughie, as there was less physical violence against the women, and was more their sexual exploitation by tinsel town. The transfer was pristine, except that the entire film uniformly lacked contrast. As a roughie, this is a solid C.

Blue Hill Avenue (2001):

This is an ambitious attempt to create an African-American version of Once Upon a Time in America.

Four youngsters are shown growing up in south Boston, and eventually slipping into drug dealing, ultimately going head-to-head with the usual black crime boss (Clarence Williams III, the guy from the original Mod Squad!) and the mandatory corrupt white cops (including Wishmaster!). As adults, they are sharply dressed at all times, suave with the babes, and inherently honorable despite their choice of professions. In other words, they are highly romanticized gangsters, like the ones in the old-time movies.

As befits its innately romantic world view, it is quite an elegantly filmed movie, and the four main actors did a good job. In fact, it includes some fairly interesting characters among the four boys who grew up on the streets together, and some sexy nudity from the women. It has some very good elements, but when push came to shove, distributors just felt that the film was too derivative and that its weltanschauung was too old-fashioned. Therefore, the general conclusion among potential distributors was that the potential audience was too small for the expense of theatrical promotion and distribution. The film languished in limbo for a couple of years, then went straight to DVD.

Despite those liabilities, it's a pretty good watch. I watched it, got absorbed, liked it, even went back to listen to some of the commentary. The film's weaknesses did not prevent me from enjoying a generally well crafted film. There were only two things that kept me from really liking it a lot:

1. The film has no humor and shows no light sides of the personalities of the main characters. It just takes itself very seriously throughout, and that makes it all seem to lack depth and appear one-dimensional. But I liked that dimension, even if it was based on the whole romantic "noble gangster" myth.

2. Some of the locations look really summery and nothing like Boston. The IMDb says it was filmed in Boston and New Brunswick, but I think some of it must have been filmed in L.A.

There's a lot of talent behind this film, and you can expect these filmmakers to move farther through the distribution channel with their future efforts. This director and his cinematographer have talent, and have good films in them if they find the right script.

Excellent DVD transfer. Solid C for the movie.

• Latamra Smith (1, 2, 3)
• Wanda Arab (1, 2)

Lucky (2002):

This is one weird-ass independent no-budget movie.

On the surface, it seems to be about this: a cartoon writer with writers' block is degenerating into an alcoholic. One night, on a beer run, he runs over a dog. Since he is a lonely man, is perpetually drunk, and is riddled with guilt, he brings the dog home, hoping to nurse him to health. The dog is dead, but that doesn't stop the guy from keeping him around as a pet for a few weeks.

Finally, he decides to bury the dog, but it comes back from the dead, and starts to haunt him, gradually controlling him completely, dictating his every thought. The dog is a bloodthirsty little fella, and has soon turned the writer into a serial torturer and murderer. That's the bad news. The good news is that the dog is a much better writer than the writer ever was, so his writers' block is soon cured, and the quality of his work takes a quantum leap upward.

Of course, as you may have guessed, the film may not really be about this. It may just be about a lonely, failed, insane writer who imagined all the events in the film, or it may include some real events embellished by his insane imagination. Frankly, I'm not sure what happened and what didn't. Some things were obviously imaginary, others not.

It's actually a fairly good movie. The lead actor, who is on screen virtually every minute, is quite competent, kind of a cross between Kevin Spacey and ol' Tony Soprano in the general category of soft-looking guys who may be gentle, or may snap into violence, or who may just be completely loony. The writer is Stephen Sustaric, who has worked on some of the best comedy shows of the past 30 years, including cartoons. (Yipes! Is it autobiographical? Does he also have bodies buried in his back yard? Does he want to?).

Although production values are not lush, one good writer and one good actor in a virtual soliloquy can produce a strangely engaging film, and this one has a really black sense of humor. I laughed out loud at some of the discussions between the writer and his (presumably imaginary) torture victims, and at the absurdity of some of the women he dated before he simply decided to get into that whole kidnap and torture thing.

Another solid C, at least for you guys who like something far from the beaten path. Unfortunately, the DVD quality is shit.

• Piper Cochrane (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Maureen Davis

Stark Raving Mad (2002):

This was intended as a starring action vehicle for Stifler, and the production budget was a respectable five million dollars. The filmmaker got good value for that money in terms of production values, but the film was never released in America. It did get a limited release in the UK, where the British critics eviscerated it.

It's a hipper-than-thou film about a guy who uses the noise from his after hours club to cover up a slick heist - a robbery of the bank next door. Unfortunately, everything that can go wrong for him does. His gang is filled with wackos, and the club is filled with people and events which keep distracting him from the job: several competing groups of gangsters, suspicious FBI guys, the owner of the club, power failures, and so forth.

As I said, it's too hip for its own good, but it isn't that bad a film. It is quite slickly edited, and has some offbeat characters and humorous stylized violence. It will remind you a lot of Guy Richie's films. The good ones, not Swept Away. Yes it is predictable, and yes it is derivative of Richie and Tarantino, but it is completely competent - even kind of slick in some ways - and it should entertain you if you like that kind of film, assuming you have a strong tolerance for fancy quick-cut editing, lighting gimmicks, and loud punk music.

A C-. I would have called it a C, but as per our policy, I have to reduce any film by a half grade if Richie Valens is in the cast and does not sing La Bamba.

• Money Mazur. Not nude, but she showed 90% of her butt.

Raw Adventures - (written by Crimson Ghost)

Little background for you on "Raw Adventures" (since IMDb and Junior don't know what it is):

Produced by Player Entertainment in 1999.   Directed by Gary Orona.   Many  of the  executive producers and producers names also appear in the credits of "The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure." The video opens with the following quote from Gary Orona: "This feature was shot in extreme wilderness settings with the intent to film the female form, nude, against natural backdrops.  This arrangement of  form, location, design and music becomes an erotic vignette..."

The DVD appears to be a compilation of outtakes, behind the scenes footage and scenes shot just for this production.  I recognized some of the "Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure" footage.

TROUBLE REMEMBERING NAMES
The makers of "Raw Adventures" had some difficulties with names.  The credits list 11 young ladies as the models for the production.  They are:

• Lauren Hays (also listed as a producer)

• Joy Deane

• Teri Marcelle

• Lisa Bouy'e

• Angela Barioche

• Bridgette Thomas

• Christa Campbell

• Rachel Dane

• Cari Thompson

• Mel Greene

• Tara Marie

The DVD cover lists the following stars :

• Malasia Williams

• Tara Deane

• Melinda Armstrong

• Terri Marcelle

• Rachel Dane

Only one of the names appears on both lists, although Teri Marcelle and Terri Marcelle could be a simple spelling miscue.   And Tara Deane/Joy Deane could be the same person.

SO WHO IS IN IT?

I recognize Lauren Hays in the film.  I also recognize Avalon Anders, and she is referred to by name in one of the vignettes.   The actress listed as Laura Hudspeth in "The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure" also appears in a  vignette but is not identified by name.   Avalon Anders and Laura Hudspeth are not listed in the credits or on the cover under those names.  Melinda Armstrong does appear in a scene.  I recognize her from the movie "Bikini Summer 2."  She is listed on the DVD cover, but not in the credits.  Christa Campbell appears in a couple of the vignettes.

You know, I could go on and on and on about the names in this feature, but thinking this much about it is:

a. more thought than the producers put into getting them right,
b. giving me a headache.

In short, somebody paid Gary Orona to go camping and shoot film of good looking chicks getting naked and wandering around, and I guess he forgot to get their names.

And the music is quite bad.

More images from "Raw Adventures" will be coming soon, as soon as I can sort out which blond with implants is which.

Coming Soon-- the sequel, "Raw Adventures at Bikini Point."
 

Movies from Shiloh:

Note: these movies were not created by Shiloh, or by me. They are from his collection. Obviously, he only sends in ones that work, and I only post them if they work for me. If they do not work for you. however, we can't help you because we don't know the original codec. You have to figure it out, hit or miss. (The latest DivX is usually a good guess). It's a bonus if the original sources work.

HOWEVER:

I made .wmv versions of each -  I do know the codec for these - Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codec, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Today's roster of classics:

• Ashley Judd shows everything in Norma Jean and Marilyn  (.avi version, .wmv version).

• A young Catherine Zeta-Jones taking off her top in Out of the Blue. (.avi version, .wmv version).

• The young Zeta again, this time in resurgence (no sound). (.avi version, .wmv version).

Today's roster of new stuff:

• Justine Bateman whips 'em out on Out of Order (.avi version, .wmv version). No sound. In slow motion. Voted by you as one of the Top 10 nude scenes of the year.

• Naomi Watts seeks the Oscar for Best Nipples in 21 Grams.(You chose this as one of the ten best nude scenes of  2003. (.avi version, .wmv version).

• Christina Ricci whips out her jubblies and a hint of more in Prozac Nation. You chose this as the best nude scene of 2003. (.avi version, .wmv version).
   

OTHER CRAP:

• NBC, Defying Tradition, Plans to Start New Season in August.
• Nostalgia: Candy Cigarettes: THE BIG CANDY SMOKIN' THUMB
• Brazilians protest the fingerprinting of American tourists by getting almost naked, greasing themselves up, and doing the samba. This is my kind of protest.
• Turns out President Bush was planning the Iraq invasion when he was in kindergarten.
• The trailers are now online for Anchorman, the new Will Ferrell comedy.
• Take a virtual tour of the Queen Mary 2, the largest liner ever built.
• Gallup Poll - Republican Party Favored on Security Issues, Foreign Policy. Democrats lead on economic and social issues. In other words, in each situation, people prefer the party that wants to spend the most money. Only problem with that is that people also prefer smaller government and lower taxes!!
• Trailer for David Mamet's Spartan. (Thriller with Val Kilmer)
• The full-length trailer for The Stepford Wives is now online.
• The trailer for Scooby Doo 2 is online - because you just can't go wrong with Freddie Prinze Jr.
• Sundance abuzz about 'Down and Dirty' revelations: "The Sundance Film Festival opens tonight amid a flurry of publicity about a book that paints the world of independent filmmaking in a less-than-flattering light."
• Mutant Reviewers From Hell
• The Smoking Gun: Archive Mugshot of the lead singer for White Stripes. He was arrested for aggravated assault, and doing a poor impersonation of Johnny Depp.
• Toy of the year? External hard drive - one terabyte storage - plug 'n play into a USB port. (No software or driver installation)
• MTV.com - Music - Video Premiere - Britney Spears in Toxic - includes brief "topless" footage . It is pretty hot. She is wearing only a bikini bottom and some strategically located diamonds
• Pennsylvania is still working on that whole slogan thing. They have narrowed it down to five. Vote for your favorite Pennsylvania Slogan. My favorite was still "Only a short buggy ride from Ohio"
• Is Dick Gephardt Batman?
• retroCRUSH: looks at one of our favorites: Cannibal! The Musical. (It was Stone and Parker's university film project.)
• Movie House info page on Cannibal! The Musical
• Weekly World News goes through the trash of Kim Jong Il.
• Mrs Al Jolson dies. She was nobody very famous. The only reason I mention this is that she outlived him by 54 years. Is that some kind of record?
• U.S. actor Chevy Chase is starring in a TV advertising campaign for a new Turkish cola that competes with Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola (Videos at the link). Chevy's career is really surging, eh? National Lampoon's Chechnyan Vacation can't be far off.
• "Harry Potter fiction nominated for adult book prize" I'm just going to take a wild guess here and say that "adult book" doesn't mean the same thing in the U.K. as in the USA. Either that, or the nomination went to Harry Potter and the Magical Anal Beads.
• Andrew Fastow agrees to 10 years; wife pleads guilty: "Andrew Fastow, the ex-Enron chief financial officer, pleaded guilty at 2:30 p.m. today to two counts of conspiracy and agreed to accept a 10-year prison sentence and forfeit $23.8 million to the federal government."
• Toupee or not toupee: Is there really any question?
• How to do Hand-Shadows. There are many people who believe hand shadow is mankind's earliest and purest art form, dating back to cave-dwelling days, and that re-enacting hand shadows is a way to get in touch with our ancestors. Fortunately, those people are severely medicated.
• Gwyneth Paltrow believes the world is filled with people who secretly hope bad things happen to her. She also believes that Native Americans are exempt by treaty from the law of gravity, and that all salmon are named Archimedes, and talk to her from the river.
• Justin Timberlake punched in the face in London. Inside the venue Justin told reporters, "It is just crazy over here in Britain, I fucking hate coming over here." Gee, they seem to like him.
• President Bush goes to Mexico to see his hero, Zorro. (The Daily Show)
• CNN.com - Americans like Bush's qualities, poll says: "Two-thirds of Americans think President Bush has the right personal qualities for the presidency, yet nearly half or more think the Democratic Party would do a better job on major domestic issues". They did not specify which of his personal qualities were so presidential.
• War-Weary Sean Penn Reports on Iraq 'Powder Keg'. This is part of his new high-concept movie where he changes bodies and jobs with Dick Cheney. Meanwhile, Cheney said "21 Grams actually sucks". You have to love the photo of Penn in front of Saddam's state portrait.
• Arrow in the Head goes to the Fangoria Weekend of Horrors.
• Are you really, really a Star Wars fan? Then you just prove it and plop down your 19 grand for the Star Wars AT-ST walker.
• The Distiunguished Gentlemen's Guide to Vaginal Odor. Not really that funny, but so politically incorrect that it has shock amusement value.
• Brittany Murphy Engaged to Lurch! Cousin Itt wil be the best man.
• Steven Spielberg will produce and or possibly direct not one but potentially three adaptations of the famous comic, Tintin. My Uncle Cy had suicide on his to-do list until he read this At last, a reason to live.
• Colorado's Hanging Lake tunnels in Glenwood Canyon will star alongside Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in the upcoming action film, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It centers on a bored married couple who discover that they are enemy assassins hired to kill each other.
• Jail inmates go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
• By the People, For the People: Posters from the WPA, 1936-1943
• Alfred Hitchcock - A photo study of the Master's fetishes — uh, motifs
• Indies Mark Some Firsts at This Sundance
• Lunch meetings 'shouldn't be held at lunchtime'. Australian civil servants have been warned they could face disciplinary action if they hold lunch meetings between noon and 2pm.
• The Michael Jackson Sleepover Kit
• FHMUS.com - FHM Magazine Online - Free Wallpapers
• Granny Gang Scams Stores, Gets Busted: "We didn't have our guns out. ... One man had to turn up his oxygen machine and get more air because he was so stressed,' Inspector Bob Rogers told the San Francisco Examiner."
• CLOWN PHOBIA: Fast highly effective Clown Phobia program at The Phobia Clinic.
• Check out Snoop as Huggy Bear in the Starsky and Hutch poster.
• Rip Torn arrested for DUI. The Smoking Gun is there.
• Today must be official DUI day. San Francisco 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Wednesday.
• What to look for at Sundance this year.
• ESPN's Top Playoff Games of all time.
• President Bush Plans $1.5 Billion Drive for Promotion of Marriage Conservative Christian advocacy groups are pressing Mr. Bush to go further and use the State of the Union address to champion a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriage. Isn't that already in the constitution? " ... and secure the blessings of liberty on ourselves and our posterity, unless they should be fancy lads". Maybe that last part was only in the director's cut.
• Does global warming increase the likelihood of war?
• Randy VanWarmer Dies at 48: VanWarmer recorded the pop hit 'Just When I Needed You Most', and then had a successful career as a songwriter.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Greta Scacchi, toplessness and rear views in scenes from "Heat and Dust" (1983). The cloudy appearance is due to the scene being filmed through a lace curtain giving.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

"Girltalk" (1987) aka "Girl Talk"

A documentary made by Kate Davis following the lives of three runaway girls. The second only known as Mars now works as a stripper and shows breasts and full dorsal nudity.

• Assorted girls (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

BAGHDAD BOB GETS A NEW GIG
Funnier Than "The Abu Dhabi Honeymooners" - Former Iraqi Information Minister Saeed al-Sahhaf, nicknamed "Baghdad Bob" and "Comical Ali," has a new job. Saddam's spin doctor has been hired as a commentator by Abu Dhabi TV. In his latest appearance, he called for Saddam to get a fair trial, saying, "Everybody talks about war crimes and the like, but the court considers facts and evidence only."