Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

Last minute addition.

Tontor presents Mariah Carey at the American Music Awards

Tontor presents Britney Spears at the American Music Awards

Baseball Stuff

ESPN's Rob Neyer picks "The team of the nought's". Here.

A sincere apology

No Kentuckians wrote in for obvious reasons, but several people from other places felt I might have offended Kentuckians when I associated that state with the sexual exploitation of barnyard animals. Let me point out the road sign was just a joke, and was not meant to imply any relationship to real behavior in Kentucky or any other of America's fine and distinguished sheep-loving states.

Aria, Part 2. Tuna's comments: " Aria is universally panned by the critics, and I agree. It is essentially 10 unrelated segments done by different directors, and has the lack of continuity that usually occurs when this is attempted. Each director was given a famous Aria, and asked to create a video interpretation of the aria. Most have little or nothing to do with the aria, and many are incomprehensible. There is almost no dialogue. The aria's themselves are famous recordings. I am not a huge opera fan, but Leontyne Price was a highlight for me. She has an amazing voice. I will say that Aria contains some very powerful images, which will stay with me.

The good news is that the DVD transfer is good to very good, and there is lots of nudity: 1) Bridget Fonda in her premier role 2) Elizabeth Hurley 3) Drew Linzi 4) Marion Peterson 5) Valerie Alain. I am also exercising the "tuna prerogative." Simply stated, tuna may, at his prerogative, cap non-nudes of select actress, such as Goldie Hawn, Shelley Long, and in this case, Beverly D"Angelo"

Scoop's note: I divided it into two days. Hurley, D'Angelo and Alain were in yesterdays's edition.

Bridget Fonda (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8) Linzi Drew (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6) Marion Peterson (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)

Eva Herzigova is on Blinky's runway today.

(#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #7, #8)

Blinky Bonus Farrah Summerford

Members Bonuses- Besieged

Besieged

What a poor movie this is. I looked at the fine cast, the director (Bertolucci), and was actually excited to begin watching it. Dummy.

Bertolucci is one of the supreme film artists of the 20th century, one of the few men always capable of transforming motion pictures into motion art. Some of that still shines through, but he just doesn't have enough of a core story to work with here. In fact, the movie is basically a two-character drama which takes place in a single building, like a stage play. Boring!

Here's the scoop. David Thewlis is a pianist in Italy who teaches a little piano and lives in a very beautiful apartment left to him by a rich aunt. Thandie Newton is an African imigre whose husband was arrested and is being held prisoner by the government in their native land.

Thandie and Thewlis come together because she is his maid. She cleans up his apartment in return for some living space downstairs. They have nothing in common. They don't understand each other or relate to each other in any way, but Thewlis decides that he must have her. In the process of wooing her, he discovers that the only thing that would make Thandie love him is if he got her husband free.

So he does so. He gradually sells off everything in the apartment, tapestries from the walls, records, furniture, even his piano, in order to pull the strings he needs to pull. Finally he gets the husband freed.

Now what? Thandie is grateful, of course. She feels the immense power of his obsession with her, and she doesn't know how to thank him. After all, the husband will be at her doorstep in two days. First Thandie tries to write Thewlis a thank you note, but she realizes that is an inadequate gesture. Finally, she realizes that she is completely trapped, his siege has been successful, and she'll have to sleep with him. The guy gave up everything in his life to free her husband. Thewlis wakes up the next morning with a note in his hand that says "I love you". Thandie is sleeping beside him, her breasts exposed. Then the doorbell rings. It is the husband returned from Africa. It rings and rings. Thandie gets out of bed, but the husband continues to ring outside. The movie ends.

So I guess it is one of those giant "Gift of the Magi" ironies. The only think that would make her love Thewlis is for him to free the husband who will take her right back from him. He sells everything he has - for what? To return Thandie to her husband. But she gives up the purity of her love for the husband by writing that note.

That's it. On the artistic side, the best emotional tone is generated by Bertolucci's gradual portrayal of the apartment, first full of the artifacts of the elegant life, gradually stripped of its treasures like a ransacked Egyptian necropolis, and finally nothing but a mattress on the floor and a cheap television on a metal rolling cart.

It has some moments, but does that sound like your kind of movie? Well, you know what to expect. Act accordingly. Warning to those who rent it for the flesh: These scenes occur in the final waning minute of the movie, so have that fast forward button primed.

Because of Bertolucci's eye for an artistic image, the collages did come out quite nice.

Members Bonus

Tuesday