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* Yellow
asterisk:
funny (maybe).
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*
White
asterisk:
expanded
format.
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* Blue
asterisk: not
mine.
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No
asterisk: it
probably
sucks.
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OTHER
CRAP:
Catch
the deluxe
version of
Other Crap in
real time,
with all the
bells and
whistles, here.
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The caps for
this week are from
2010
30 Days of
Night: Dark Days
Not a lot of
nudity in 30 Days
of Night: Dark
Days (2010).
Mia Kirshner shows
a bit of bum crack
(although it could
have been a body
double)
and Kiele Sanchez
is in her
underwear.
The American
Violante Placido
shows the lot in
The American
(2010)
and Irina
Bjorklund shows
her bum.
A couple of
unidentified women
look good.
Barney's
Version
The nudity in
Barney's Version
(2010) is by a
topless Sandra
Lavoie.
Minnie Driver
and Rosamund Pike
are topless but
nothing can be
seen.
Blue Valentine
Michelle Williams
is topless and
shows a bit of bum
in Blue Valentine
(2010)
Date Night
No nudity in Date
Night (2010) but
Gal Gadot,
Tina Fey
and some
unidentified women
are looking good.
Dinner for
Schmucks
Again, no nudity
Dinner for
Schmucks (2010)
just lots of
cleavage by:
Andrea Savage
Lucy Punch
Nicole LaLiberte
and Maria
Zyrianova
Dinoshark
Dinoshark
(2010) is
another of
those CGI
horror movies
with
imaginative
monsters that
independent
movie makers
seem to like
producing
recently. No
nudity but
Christina Nicole,
Iva Hasperger
and Liv Boughn
look good.
Get Him to the
Greek
Get Him to the
Greek (2010) shows
a topless Meddy
Ford
and a couple of
unidentified
strippers.
Greenberg
Greta Gerwig is
nicely topless in
Greenberg (2010).
Group Sex
Group Sex (2010)
has Christina
DeRosa
and some
unidentified
strippers topless.
Plenty of cleavage
by Kym Whitley,
Madeleine Wade,
Odette Annable
and Sandra
Seeling.
High School
A couple of women
show the lot in
High School
(2010), including
one with a
shocking tattoo.
How Do You
Know
No nudity in How
Do You Know (2010)
but Lyssa Roberts,
Teyonah Parris
and Reese
Witherspoon look
good.
more of Reese in
the DVD extras
Kick-Ass
Lots of cleavage
in Kick-Ass (2010)
Deborah
Twiss (a bit of
nipple?),
Katrena Rochell
and Lyndsy
Fonseca.
My Own Love
Song
Renée Zellweger
looks good in My
Own Love Song
(2010)
Scott Pilgrim
vs. the World
Scott Pilgrim vs.
the World (2010)
shows Mary
Elizabeth Winstead
in her underwear.
Smokin' Aces
2: Assassins'
Ball
Lots more cleavage
in Smokin' Aces 2:
Assassins' Ball
(2010) by Autumn
Reeser
and Martha
Higareda.
Valentine's
Day
No nudity in
Valentine's Day
(2010), just some
lovely looking
women:
Anne Hathaway,
Jennifer Garner,
Jessica Alba,
Katherine LaNasa
and Sandra Taylor.
Venus &
Vegas
Venus & Vegas
(2010) has lots of
cleavage by Jaime
Pressly,
Molly Sims
and some not
identified.
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Offspring
(1993)
VHS
Johnny's
comments:
Been ridiculously hot here
for the past week, so
haven't been much bothered
to do new stuff and there
hasn't been anything
desperate to cap. Plus my
computer just cuts out
encoding HD videos in this
weather...
Got a request to do this
series, so here it is.
Offspring is a 1996
(although it is dated
1993) melodrama where new
Hollywood glamour couple
Maria Cassini (Gabrielle
Fitzpatrick) and Ben King
(Robert Mammone) are given
a strange invitation to
join Maria's long lost
mother in Australia who
wants to give them a
special marriage present.
Maria hates her mother, in
fact she told Ben that she
was dead. Ben convinces
her to go home and after
much relectance, Maria
gives in. Rose (Chantal
Contouri) seems friendly
at first, but Maria gives
hints that this is a
facade and ups her taking
of tranquilisers. After
Maria completely loses it,
Rosa tells of how she was
suffering from bipolar
disorder and could not
handle her mob heavy
stepfather. Rosa attempts
to seduce Ben, but he gets
away disgusted. Maria
wakes up and tells her
side of the story which
involves horrible sexual
abuse at the hands of her
stepfather and cheered on
by Rosa. Ben and Maria
decide to leave, but not
before one last cup of
tea...
I haven't seen Offspring
since I first capped it in
2002 and remember it being
a tawdry little movie, but
had totally forgotten how
tawdry. There is so much
talk of sexual abuse and
ambivalent sexual
behaviour that it's
incredibly tough to like
Offspring. Rosa is such an
evil bitch (played quite
well by Chantal Contouri)
that her demise is most
welcome. But Offspring's
biggest issue is that it's
almost 80 minutes of
exposition. There is so
much talking to describe
the situation that I
couldn't help but beg for
someone to do something to
shut the person up. It
never ends... Talking,
talking, talking about
having sex with underage
girls. Christ, how can
anyone call this movie
fun? And the twist (check
the title of this movie
for what it is) only adds
to the ambivalent sexual
behaviour, but it's
glossed over that if Maria
and Ben are half-siblings
with Rosa their mother,
then what about that scene
where Rosa seduces Ben,
her son? Yep, it's that
type of movie.
As this series was taken
from a VHS tape, the
quality of the collages
and videos are not DVD
quality, but they are OK.
Offspring was released on
DVD in America under the
title Deadly Secrets, but
it is savagely cut with
all of the nudity missing.
But, constant talk of sex
and sexual abuse is fine?
The only reason to watch
this movie is missing, why
bother? The
writer/director of
Offspring also made an
Australian Classic a year
earlier called Fatal Past
which I must get a hold
of. I remember the cover
of that video with 90s
Polish sexpot Kasia Figura
being groped in her
underwear down at the
local video barn, but was
never game to get it (plus
I was probably underage...
seems to be the keyword
for this post). Never
realised that Fatal Past
was an Australian movie
'til recently. Thought it
was a Zalman King movie.
Hmmm...
I'll have more from
Gabrielle Fitzpatrick in
the coming day as I've
found my copy of the
oft-repeated Farewell, My
Love and picked up a copy
of Mr. Nice Guy.
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