(#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)

Fr also did a lighter version of number six: #6 light)

2 Live Crew 2 Live Crew Ohio Players Angel Ohio Players Contradiction Ohio Players Fire Ohio Players Gold Ohio Players Honey Ohio Players Honey 2 Shane

Members Bonuses- The Stoned Age

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The Stoned Age

Like, this flick is totally bogus, dude. Not funny enough to be a comedy. Not stirring or profound enough to be a drama. Trapped in between. An attempt at a slice-of-life ala "Dazed and Confused". Really, though, it is more like "Revenge of the Nerds Heavy Metal Geeks - total losers get laid with totally rad babes and/or fall in love with Miss Right.

Includes a cameo from eternally youthful Frankie Avalon, and a minor role by David groh, the now elderly guy who played Rhoda's Joe on the "Rhoda" TV series.

The totally rad babe is Renee Ammann. The first one is possibly the largest single-image vidcap ever done. Actually, it's a composite of several frames in a downward pan.

New releases. I finished capping the new releases, but it wil take forever to assemble everything, so tomorrow it is. Let me give you thumbnail sketches of the three that will not be discussed tomorrow.

The Wood. Normally I hate those "Diner" movies, where a bunch of guys talk about their coming-of-age crises, getting married, and such crap. This, however is a good movie because the three stars are totally real and totally likeable. Much credit to the author and to the actors for bringing this little unsensational genuine slice-of-life to the screen. Unfortunately, the only nudity is male nudity. THREE stars (out of four). The film did only 25 million in domestic gross, but was made for only six million. Of course, this isn't the kind of mainstream picture that makes megabucks.

The Thirteenth Warrior. The stinker of stinkers. This film gets my Oscar in the following category: biggest waste of time and money of any human activity not involving Kevin Costner or phone psychics. They spent about 100 million dollars to make this goofy interpretation of the Beowulf legends, and it is absolute crap. Dreadful movie that deserved to lose the megabucks it lost. (Domestic gross: $32 million). Ebert gave it 1.5 stars, same thing he gave the Postman. I can't imagine what caused him to tack on the half. Without kidding, I can say that I would rather have watched the Postman a second time than to have watched this the first time. The film did so poorly in sneak previews, that they fired the director (John McTiernan, normally a capable guy, who did "Die Hard", "Last Action Hero" and "Thomas Crown". What happened to him here is a mystery.) and filmed some replacement scenes, but if this is the improvement, the original must have been the worst movie ever filmed. The whole thing may be the darkest frigging movie ever filmed as it is. The fight scenes are so dark and so hectic that you can't tell what happened, except that lots of body parts are getting hacked. No nudity. Just plenty of gory battle scenes, and an all-time screen moment when Antonio Bandaras speaks some Norsk. Genre fans might like this, but if you aren't into those movies that take place in some indefinable non-existent mythical historical epoch where all the housing and armor and everything are all from different centuries, don't do near this turkey. NO stars. And a weak zero at that.

Bowfinger. I've discussed this before. A hilarious send-up of the fringes of Hollywood. A comedic interpretation of a producer much like Ed Wood and his rag-tag band of hangers on. The last minute (a Bowfinger International film made in Taiwan, called "Fake Purse Ninjas") had me in stitches, laughing out loud, even the second time I watched it. (I had to call over everyone in the house to watch it.) Brilliant script by Steve Martin, two great characterizations by Eddie Murphy, clever direction by Frank Oz. If you've read anything about the guys who live in this fringe world, you'll know that Martin got every detail perfect. One of the 10 best comedies of the nineties, in my opinion, both literate and funny. A minor hit with a domestic gross of 66 million. FOUR stars.