Female Animal (1970) shows as being directed by Juan Carlo Grinella and starring Arlene Tiger. The credits are in Spanish, and it is made to look for all the world like a joint Spanish/Italian sex flick. It is actually a 100% American films from Jerry Gross, and stars his go-to girl, Arlene Sue Farber from exotic Long Island. After Gross had a huge success distributing a Swedish version of Fanny Hill, he realized that foreign skin flicks meant huge profits, and so decided to make one. The film is the story of an innocent girl, Farber, who goes to work a smaid for a wealthy family, and ends up seduced by the father, the father's girl friend, and the son (with a little dalliance with the stable boy thrown in for good measure.

Most of the film was shot in Puerto Rico, but the opening and closing scenes were shot on Long Island, and contain the oddest elements of the film. As it opens, Farber is a prostitute, entertaining a client, who turns out to be a priest. When the priest leaves, her kitty cat licks her panty crotch at length. Must be that fishy smell, I guess. The rest of the film tells the story of how she ended up in that line of work. Gross himself makes a cameo appearance at the end as her pimp. Farber shows breasts and buns in several scenes. Unknown 1, the girlfriend of the father, shows breasts, and unknown 2, the girlfriend of the son, shows breasts, then all three Bs in an underwater sex scene.

Gross also distributed the hugely popular Inga, and his company, Cinemation Industries, went public. Gross moved to Hollywood, and started playing more than working, and a banker bankrupted his company, so the rights to Female Animal were purchased at auction by the Owner of Seduction Cinema. Gross is best known as the inventor of the Blacksploitation genre with his Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song (1971).

Female Animal is awaiting 5 votes at IMDB. Apollo has it at 22%, with a 37% from readers, and lists it as an Italian/Spanish co-production. It is not a very good story, and the acting is nothing special, but it is an interesting part of movie history, Farber lists The French Connection among her credits, the underwater shots of Unknown 2 are well done, and it is the only case I can think of of bestiality in an MPAA rated film. With a genre of early soft-core, I have to give it a C-.

Movies:

"It's All About Love"

NUDITY: none. Claire Danes plays four roles, and all four of them die, but none of them get naked.

IMDB link

It's no surprise that this movie hasn't found a distributor yet. It was originally scheduled for a May 2002 international opening. That deadline passed, and it is now making its first international appearance at Sundance. After the Saturday evening screening, director Thomas Vinterberg took some questions, and the first question was something to the effect of "why would anybody give you so much money to develop such a clueless script?"

That's harsh.

To be fair, there were people in the audience who enjoyed the film as well. I admired some things about it, but in general it's a muddled mess of a script. Joaquin Phoenix and Claire Danes play a Polish couple who are in the process of divorcing. The year is 2021. Danes is a famous ice skater, currently working in New York. Phoenix is merely in NY for a two hour layover, hoping to get his final divorce papers signed by Danes. Danes doesn't show at the airport, and Phoenix gradually realizes that she is in some terrible peril. He decides to stay and help.

The Danes/Phoenix love/reunion story plays out against a backdrop of cataclysmic meteorological change. Some days, all the water on the earth freezes for a couple of minutes. Some days in July, it snows over the entire earth. The laws of gravity no longer apply in Uganda, and Ugandans have to tether themselves to the earth. New Yorkers still have gravity, but all the unloved ones are dying off. The reasons for the epidemic are still unclear, but people have thus far concluded that "it's all about love". The result is that the dead bodies of lonely people fill the streets of New York, routinely ignored by blase commuters.

Pretty much the way it was back in the 80's.

Above the world, commenting on the action, flies Sean Penn, who used to be afraid of flying until his therapy and medication overcompensated,and made him afraid to stop flying.

Sound strange? A bit muddled? It is.

Some of it is very effective. Vinterberg did a good job on the film's direction. The aesthetics are excellent, the mood of suspense is managed brilliantly in a few scenes, and the film looks much bigger than its $10 million budget. That's the good news. The bad news is that the script is a jumbled mess, and the actors' accents are confusingly inconsistent. In some scenes Danes and the miscast Phoenix speak accent-free, in their natural rhythms, using the phrases of native English speakers. In other scenes, their accents and phrases seem to be impersonating Boris and Natasha on Bullwinkle.

Vinterberg seems to have been able to make the transition from Dogme 95 director to professional film director effortlessly. Unfortunately, he shows no signs of being able to create a coherent screenplay. I will be interested to see his next film, because this one has a lot of promise shining through the fog of its faults. Rumor has it that his next script will be written by Lars van Trier, whose writing is far better than his direction, so that may result in a fruitful collaboration for both of them.

Other crap:

• sweet - German GQ article on Lucy Liu - with nudity

• From our favorite, reliable source of information, the Weekly World News...al-Qaeda holds camel wash to raise funds.
  Here's a pic to go along with the story.

• George W...the college years. Here's a very interesting article about the Prez's bachelor days, featuring great pic of Dubya from the Harvard Yearbook.

• Worst ... movie ... ever, Well, except for Stallone's other movies.

• Dateline to do a special focusing on Michael Jackson's Face. Apparently Jacko is not too happy about it.

• Actor Richard Crenna Dies at 76.

• Mob Trial Casts Seagal As Witness...defense attorney calls Seagal "a pathological liar" during opening statements.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Patricia Arquette, running around fully nude in scenes from "Human Nature".

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

"Forbidden Rage" (2002) aka "Cries of Innocence" is the latest direct-to-video Czechploitation by the director/writer team of Lloyd Simandl and Chris Hyde. This flick marks the return of Canadian exotic dancer Fawnia Mondey from Dakota Bound and also introduces Kelli Graham from the NAKEDNEWS.COM and Filipina actress Miliani Guerra. Marketa Rosak who has been mixed up with Olga Casl in Chained Rage also returns along with other identified czech actresses.

Full nudity by all.

• Fawnia Mondey: nude having some hot lesbo lovin' with Kelli Graham.
• Kelli Graham: robo-hooters with Fawnia, later full frontal bathing.
• Miliani Guerra: full frontal bathing, later distance topless in bed with Kelli.
• Marketa Rosak: topless, panties, full frontal changing.
• Unknowns: some of the captured girls and lesbian slave attendants.

Only available from Europe in PAL format and the DVD is restricted to Region 2. Available from BENSONSWORLD.CO.UK or BLACKSTAR.CO.UK

We left the old time machine parked back here in 1972 for some more scenes from "The Adult Version of Jekyll & Hide". Today we feature Linda McDowell and Linda has a really bad day, portraying a hooker she is picked up by Dr. Leeder who has obtained the formula of the original Jekyll & Hyde and at this point becomes a demented sex fiend as he whips poor Linda into unconsciousness.

Then he ties her to the bed and she becomes a "Babe in Bondage". He then has sex with her, promising her that she will be released when he is done.But alas he lied to her and he kills her with a red hot poker up you know where.Thankfully not shown, but be warned these caps have both male and female full frontal nudity.

• Linda McDowell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

"Georgian Grapes"
Starting off with a bit of European nudity, we have another episode in the Erotica Tales series called Georgian Grapes. The basic story reminds me of Pygmalion. Celine Wieczorek (a German PMOM for August 1997) is transforming Ia Parulava, and does a good job as you can see. Topless nudity by Ia and nice caps of Celine. I can't say I'm 100% sure about Ia's identity. The IMDB has her listed as male but other sources on the Internet confirm that she is definitely female.

• Celine Wieczorek (1, 2, 3)
• Ia Parulava (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"After the End of the World"
After the End of the World is a Bulgarian film about a couple reuniting and then reminiscing about their childhood friendship. We see a topless Katarina Didaskala, who plays the woman. We also see some topless women in a community bath house.

• Katarina Didaskala
• Unknowns

"Rosa - the Death of a Composer"
Rosa - the Death of a Composer is a Peter Greenaway movie made in the Netherlands, so you know what you're going to get. It's an opera about the death of a fictional composer named Rosa. There's full nudity by Marie Angel who plays his wife. She's an opera singer and is built as such. There's also full nudity by some of the extras, three of whom are named on the second collage.

• Marie Angel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Other nudity (1, 2)

"Mifune"
No nudity in the Swedish/Danish Mifune, just underwear shown by Iben Hjejle, Sofie Grabol and Paprika Steen.

• Iben Hjejle
• Sofie Grabol
• Paprika Steen

"Anatomie"
The German film Anatomie is a thriller. Not a lot of nudity by the stars but Franka Potente shows pokies and an upskirt and Anna Loos is very sexy just before she dies. The frontal nudity comes from a corpse during the opening credits. It may be a dummy, but it's a good one.

• Franka Potente (1, 2)
• Anna Loos (1, 2)
• Unknown (1, 2)

"John Goldfarb, Please Come Home"
Moving to Arabia we have John Goldfarb, Please Come Home. It's actually American but set in Arabia. No nudity, it's made in 1965, just a lot of sexy harem girls and Shirley MacLaine in two piece outfits. Angela Douglas may show a little more down the front when she does her exercises. An item of interest. Teri Garr is said to be one of the harem girls. It may be her in the blue two piece in the third collage but I'm not certain.

• Shirley MacLaine (1, 2, 3)
• Angela Douglas
• Assorted other babes (1, 2, 3)

"The Man Who Cried"
No nudity in The Man Who Cried. Pokies by Christina Ricci and glamour by Cate Blanchett.

• Christina Ricci (1, 2)
• Cate Blanchett

"After the Storm"
Some of these caps from After the Storm have appeared before, especially those of Mili Avital. Scoopy capped Simone-Élise Girard a while ago but her boobs must have been cut off in the DVD version. The VHS version's quality isn't great but at least it shows the goods.

• Mili Avital
• Simone-Élise Girard

"Lovers Lane"
Diedre Kilgore bares her boobs in Lovers Lane.

• Diedre Kilgore

"The Shout"
Frontal nudity by Susannah York in The Shout. It's interesting how she becomes shy when she takes a bath with John Hurt.

• Susannah York (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"The House that Mary Built"
Some pokies and slight see-through nudity by a sexy Susan George in The House that Mary Built.

• Susan George (1, 2)

"A Change of Seasons"
In A Change of Seasons there's plenty of topless shots of Bo Derek, not that that is a rare event.

• Bo Derek (1, 2, 3)

'Caps and comments by Dann:

Finally, this member of the Massacre Collection has an actress you may have heard of, Crystal Bernard.

She plays the only survivor of the Slumber Party Massacre which I posted yesterday. And no, she didn't play the part in the original. Her character is haunted by dreams that the killer will return, and of course, he does.

This may be the lamest of the Massacres so far, and also the one with the least nudity (by Juliette Cummins).