Tuesday

Tuna
"Everybody's All-American"

Everybody's All-American (1988) is one of those films I did early in my career from VHS. It is finally available on DVD. The film is in the 6.2 of 10, 2 to 2.5 star range, and I wasn't all that impressed the first time I saw it. I was not clear as to what the problem was.

It is the story of The Grey Ghost, star football player from a southern school, Dennis Quaid, his fiance and Magnolia Queen Jessica Lang, and Quaid's cousin, studious Timothy Hutton. THe Grey Ghost was the real thing, everybody's all-American, school legend, and genuinely nice person. Lang was the epitomy of the southern bell beauty queen. Quaid agreed to look after his cousin Hutton, who was attending the same school, and the three of them became fast friends. From here on is where the story got in trouble. One view is that it is the story of a football players life, beginning with his glory days, through first round draft pick by the worst team in the league, through his decline, and then learning to cope with being once famous. Then their is the love triangle among the three. As if this weren't enough confusion, they through in a civil rights and race angle with a black former football player, and had an entire sub-plot about Lang losing her southern bell, "why little old me?" and becoming a shrewd and successful business woman.

So, was this a sports story, a romantic love triangle, or the story of the growth of a woman? I think the answer comes with the sappy romantic ending. It was a chick flick relationship story all along. All three characters were likable, sympathetic characters, and they were played extremely well by the leads, but the problem is very basic. What made them think that a football story would appeal to the chickflick audience, and vice versa?

There is good news o the nudity front with the DVD release. Lang shows nipples through her wedding night negligee, and does a back lit night nude scene that I was unable to pull out of the darkness working with the VHS. The images from that full frontal and rear nude scene are not good, but you can now tell that she was in fact naked. The deleted scenes also provided a pleasant surprise with breast exposure from Savannah Smith Boucher. This is a C-. Either the football story or the love triangle would have worked well, even if a little bit formulaic, but combining the two ending up bothering everyone.

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  • Jessica Lang (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
  • Savannah Smith Boucher (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies from Shiloh:

    The L Word

    The L-Word

    • Sex scene between Karina Lombard and Mia Kirshner (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Sex scene between Kirshner and some guy (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Sex scene between Laurel Holloman and Jennifer Beals.  (.wmv version only). Perhaps we'll have an .avi later. Shiloh, if you are reading, can you perhaps make a smaller vid of just the nudity in this scene?

    • Lesbian swimming pool skinny dipping scene. If you know who it is, let me know. (.wmv version)

    • Laurel Holloman and somebody else - if you know who it is, tell me. (.avi version, .wmv version)

    Vidcaps from Shiloh's videos:

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

     

     

    NOTE:

    Note: yesterday's clips from Basic Instinct were not from Shiloh. My labeling error - I put them in his section without thinking.

     

    ONE MORE SMALL VID, not from Shiloh:

    Jennifer Lopez - her nipple falls out in public. No sound. (.avi version, .wmv version, .jpg capture)

     

    MAILBOX:

    The Other Crap link to "Mariah Topless ... Well, Sorta" is to a picture that is taken from Mariah Carey's 2004 calendar, so it's probably = not = from when she was gadding about topless the other day.

    Thank you. I thought that looked posed, not candid.
     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Crimson Ghost
    'Caps and comments by Crimson Ghost:

    "Virgins of Sherwood Forest"

    A little bit about the film...The DVD case plot blurb reads..."After a blow to the head, Nina (Gabriella Hall) is transported back in time to Sherwood Forest. Robin Hood and his Merry Men have gotten lazy, so it's up to Nina and a bunch of beautiful, young women to defeat the Sheriff of Nottingham's evil sister (Shannon Leigh)."

    The Crimson Ghost's plot blurb...A B Movie bimbo in Robin Hood's Woods with plenty of toplessness and sport humpin'.

    On a side note, one of the dudes that does the deed with Newman and Leigh is the winner of "Survivor Thailand." He is listed as Dave Roth in the credits and plays Robin Hood. In real life his name is Brian Heidik.

    BFD
    Amanda Donohoe Topless in scenes from the very odd Ken Russell film, "The Lair of the White Worm" (1988).

    Helena Bonham Carter The UK actress and co-star of "Fight Club", "Planet of the Apes" and "Big Fish" topless in scenes from "Margaret's Museum" (1995).

    Ione Skye To many of us, she'll always be Lloyd Dobler's girlfriend from "Say Anything". Here she is topless and almost full frontal in scenes from "The Rachel Papers" (1989).

    Jennifer Rubin Some very nice breast exposure in scenes from "A Woman, Her Men, and Her Futon" (1992).

    Margaux Hemingway Brief breast and bum views in scenes from "Lipstick" (1976).

    Sally Field Showing off some rear nudity in the early Governator movie, "Stay Hungry" (1976).

    Susannah York The UK actress and author shows all 3 B's in scenes from the Robert Altman movie, "Images" (1972).

    Sean Young Brief nipple and bare bum sightings in 1988's "The Boost".

    Variety
    Michelle Acuna
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    		Topless in scenes from "Demon Slayer" (2003). This is the first of her only two IMDb credits, but she's kinda cute with small, but nice, natural breasts.

    Kara Zielke Playing the demanding role of 'Nude Woman' in the 1988 movie "1969". You've probably never heard of this movie, but it does star three people you'll recognize, Robert Downey Jr., Kiefer Sutherland and Winona Ryder.

    Sunrise Adams The Adult star topless and doing some mild lesbo lovin in scenes from "Porno Valley", the 'reality' series that follows the lives of several Vivid Girls. 'Caps by Gman.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    MICHAEL JACKSON NEWS ROUND-UP
    Where's Judge Ito When You Need Him? - Friday at the Santa Barbara, California, Courthouse, Michael Jackson pleaded not guilty to seven felony counts of child molesting, after being reprimanded by the no-nonsense judge for showing up 20 minutes late. He claimed he overslept.

  • He explained that he sleeps SO DEEPLY with a bedful of children.
  • He was actually late because he dropped his nose and it bounced behind the sofa.


    Who Kissed It And Made It Better? - The courthouse was surrounded by frenzied Jackson fans who turned out to show support. After the arraignment, he climbed up on top of his SUV, and as an aide held an umbrella over him, he clapped, stomped his feet and blew kisses to the crowd.

  • Oops! That was the judge's SUV.
  • Children threw their Underoos at him.
  • The crowd was thrilled to see that the dislocated shoulder the cops gave him was all better.


    How About In EVERY Sense Of The Word? - Jackson attorney Mark Geragos told ABC's "Good Morning America" that Michael is "not a freak in any sense of the word," and he's inundated with letters from people every day "who think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread."

  • Now, THOSE people are freaks!
  • He is like bread: cracked wheat...made with bleached flour.
  • He's like bread, but lawyers have all his dough.
  • He's just a normal, non-freakish man in his 40s who sleeps with children, talks like a gay chipmunk, and dances on a car roof after he's been charged with seven felonies.


    He Spoons With Children - Jackson's pal, Israeli "psychic" spoonbender Uri Geller, said he believes in his innocence because three years ago in a recording studio, he put Michael under deep hypnosis and asked him about it. Geller said Michael replied that he had never touched a child in a sexual way, saying under hypnosis, "My relations with children are very beautiful."

  • My relations with my wife are very beautiful, too.
  • We only know he never conceived a child in a sexual way.
  • He then told Michael that when he awoke, he would be Norma Desmond.
  • Maybe hanging around with Uri Geller is what made Michael so bent.


    HARRISON FORD PAYS RECORD DIVORCE SETTLEMENT
    Her Lawyer: Darth Vader - Harrison Ford is finally free to marry girlfriend Calista Flockhart if he likes, but boy, did it cost him. Britain's The Mail on Sunday newspaper reports that he will pay his ex-wife, screenwriter Melissa Mathison, a record-breaking $90 million settlement. Ford, who had no pre-nup, not only gave her half the millions he earned during their marriage, he also agreed to give her a share of royalties from future sales of DVDs and videos of the movies he made during their marriage, such as the "Star Wars" and "Indiana Jones" series.

  • If he doesn't want her anymore, can I marry her?
  • At least with Calista, he won't have to spend any money on food.
  • If you're a woman over 40 in Hollywood, the only way to make the big bucks is to get divorced.
  • His next movie will be called "Indiana Jones and the Lost Treasure."


    NICK AND JESSICA DENY SEX-TAPE TALE
    Unreality Show - Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey of MTV's reality show "The Newlyweds" are furious at a porn website that claimed there is a camera in their bedroom that activates when it detects motion, and it caught them having sex. The site plans to sell the 45-minute tape. The couple says there are no cameras in their bedroom, and their rep told In Style that the tape is a hoax, the people in it aren't them, "and lawyers are getting involved."

  • Who wants to see lawyers having sex?
  • If lawyers are involved, then rest assured SOMEBODY is getting screwed.
  • It can't be Jessica, because the girl in this tape can spell "K-Y"...Also, she doesn't think K-Y Jelly is something you spread on a Triscuit.
  • It's got them too angry to have sex, so now they have to talk, and that made Nick even angrier.


    SIMON COWELL DISSES MADONNA
    Why You Can't Be Over 24 - Simon Cowell was promoting "American Idol" to the TV Critics Association in Los Angeles when he was asked about the importance of a pop star's looks. After saying Britney Spears, J-Lo and Beyonce were all good-looking, he added, "Madonna used to be good-looking." Fellow "Idol" judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson groaned, and Cowell shot back that "she's a housewife" now.

  • So's Jessica Simpson.
  • Looking like a housewife didn't hurt Clay Aiken.
  • When I get home, I'll check out the housewife I live with and see if she looks like Madonna.
  • Simon won't be participating this season because Paula just killed him.