Girls are for Loving (1973) Pits secret agent and sexpot Ginger (Cheri Caffaro) against a frigid controlling blackmailing villainess, Jocelyn Peters. Peters stops at nothing, including murder, torture, and kidnapping to learn about a trade agreement so she can do some insider training. Really, I didn't make that up. Acting, plot, photography, dialogue and transfer were about equally bad. On the plus side, you have frequent full frontal from both Caffaro and Peters.

IMDB readers have this at 3.8 of 10. This is the third and last (also least) in the Ginger series. I will say that the plot allows some interesting dynamics, including a helpless woman manacled head and foot being seduced against her will. The nudity is great, some of the sex scenes have heat, but it is otherwise a very forgettable film. Low C-.

Cabin Fever (2003):

I noticed on JoBlo's site that there was some additional nudity hidden in an Easter Egg on the Cabin Fever DVD. Even knowing it was there, I still had a helluva time finding it. Actresses Stephanie Swift and Janelle Perry get it on with Deputy "Party Man" Winston.

• Swift (the brunette)

• Perry (the blonde)

Confusion of Genders (2000):

Confusion of Genders must be a movie which cannot be reviewed by a non-native French speaker. It was marketed as a comedy, but for my money  it has about as many laughs as Schindler's List,  21 Grams, or Mystic River. Obviously, the alleged humor must derive from something unique to the French culture, characters, or language. To my eyes, it seems to be a self-absorbed, talky, tragic film about perpetually unhappy, generally creepy people who want what they can't have, and make all the wrong decisions because they seem to have no other choice, or are unable to will a better choice.

A bi-sexual man has "test sex" with his female law partner, and she gets pregnant, so they marry. Meanwhile, he is fucking a teenage boy and the girlfriend of a client he defended incompetently into life imprisonment. "The bad news: you'll never leave prison. The good news: your girlfriend won't be lonely". None of these relationships leaves him happy in any way. The sex scenes are lifeless and unsexy. (I guess that is supposed to be funny. Or tragic. Or something.) The characters are unsympathetic and sometimes just plain nasty. In the end, he hits on the (male) nurse when his wife gives birth.

That is some wacky-ass shit, alright. Just goes to show that the line between comedy and tragedy is a thin one.

I just couldn't find any hook to get me involved in the goings-on. There is substantial nudity, but it is cold and lifeless. The photography is quite beautiful, but you simply don't want to watch this film unless you speak French and are immersed in the sexual politics of French culture. I just didn't get it at all. C-.

• Julie Gayet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• Nathalie Richard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• obscure chicks (1, 2, 3)

OTHER CRAP:

• Comic Jo Brand caused a stink by offering to fart the Albanian national anthem. Last night Jo, 43, apologised for the joke. Her agent said: “She did not mean for her offensive material to cause offense. Oh, wait a minute, I guess she did. All her material causes offense, but some people have no sense of humor. Hey, now that I think about it, fuck Albania"
• President Bush to deliver speeches based on faith-based ventriloquism
• retroCRUSH picks the 100 most annoying things of 2003
• Shockwave animation of the greatest Hubble photographs, set to music.
• The alpha challenge - using classic arcade games.
• FreakingNews.com - new Photoshop contest: Photoshop Iowa Caucuses to add satire to it.
• Variety says ABC has greenlit another reunion movie featuring the cast of the late '80s comedy hit Growing Pains.
• There is, as yet, no Mother Focker, but Dustin Hoffman is one bad-ass Father Focker.
• The Top Ten Movies of the century - the NINETEENTH century!
• Mike Piazza still not gay.
• The Sun proves that a man's eyes ALWAYS get drawn to a girl's cleavage.
• The Onion's take on The State of the Union address
• The Weekend Update segment from the Jessica Simpson SNL is now online.
• The Daily Show on the Iowa caucuses
• Courtney Cox sees career change stimulated by ultra-serious new film, ala 21 Grams. Great. There are about four people in the world who are both beautiful and funny, and one of them wants to be Lady Fucking Macbeth.
• WARNING: beware of e-mail phishing
• "Hey, Hey, Hey" Joel Zwick's "Fat Albert" Gears Up Again For March Start. Old Weird Harold is now known as "Wired Hal"
• Dark Horizons: Interview - Simon Baker discusses "Book of Love"
• Terry Gilliam discusses his new project, The Brothers Grimm. (Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play the eponymous lead roles.)
• Latest news from the set of ALEXANDER, Oliver Stone's new movie starring Colin Farrell.
• Full text of the State of the Union Address. Highlights (1) turns out that his wars, and the young men and women who are dying in them, are all just part of the President's master plan to ease overcrowding in our schools! (2) he will resolve the so-called "budget problems" by replacing the current godless budgetary arithmetic with a new faith-based mathematics (3) little Ashley wants to know how a ten year old can buy Halliburton stock and "make the big bucks"
• Democratic Response to the State of the Union Address . Brief overview: (1) we hate Bush (2) no real ideas, but we know we hate Bush (3) our imaginary 10 year old is cuter than Bush's (4) our imaginary troubled Americans agree with us, not Bush
• An Israeli rabbi has come up with a prayer devout Jews can utter that will help them overcome the guilt of visiting pornographic websites. "Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work..., so that I shall be able to cleanse myself (of sin). And while you're at it, Lord, help me to find the URL I lost, the one for that Japanese schoolgirl spanking site."
• Nostalgia: Time-warp Archive of Vintage Technology Through the Decades
• URL says it all: PornoHaiku.com
• TV's "Friends" set is the scene of a drug arrest.
• The L.A. club scene. (Acres of flesh)
• Which Unwanted Sexual Gesture are you?
• URL says it all: CommercialsIHate.com
• The Turd Twister! Shape your shit into various decorator styles! "As Seen on TV" - I don't think I have that channel.
• Why do certain players like certain uniform numbers?
• H&R Block's Super Bowl ad
• Richardson's 1993 promise to Panther fans: Super Bowl win in 10 years. He needs one more game to pull it off.
• Women's tennis : Justine Henin-Hardenne of Belgium
• ESPN says: 'The Simpsons' got game
• Love-hungry codgers booted out of old folks' home for attempting an orgy.
• BBC now says that Churchill never owned a parrot!
• A summary table of the Democratic battle in New Hampshire. Dean has lost 11 points in two weeks. In that same period, Clark is up 7, Kerry 6, Edwards 5.
• Dean loses it: "Finishing third in a contest that just a few weeks earlier he had been expected to win handily is surely a setback for the campaign of Howard Dean. But in the long run, Dean's Iowa concession speech, in which he appeared to lose control of himself and began screaming at supporters - all in front of dozens of television cameras - may be even more damaging." I watched that speech, and Dean seemed to be auditioning for Vince McMahon's WWE. Do they have a featherweight division?
• Here's Gov. Dean's passionate speech and CBS's interview with him the next morning.
• Kidman, Kravitz Kaput
• L Word premiere, Jan 18, 2004 - new Showtime series features lots of nekkid lesbians.
• More from The L word
• Weekend Update jokes in dress rehearsal, but cut before the broadcast.
• Bad news for Mariners fans. Their closer, Kazuhiro Sasaki, a major star in 2001-2002 before an injury-plagued 2003, is homesick and will return to Japan.
• Spain sentences Imam for book offering advice on wife-beating. Here's a civil liberties and freedom of speech case that even the ACLU might refuse.
• LOTR stays on top of British box office.
• "Star Wars, Ep 3" prequel tidbits from Dark Horizons
• Here's a new r-rated featurette on Eurotrip. (Nudity.)
• There's a new trailer online for Crimson Rivers 2: Angels of the Apocalypse, which was written by Luc Besson, and stars Jean Reno.
• Coming Soon has eight new clips from The Big Bounce, the crime comedy with Owen Wilson and Morgan Freeman.
• The trailer for Intermission is now online. (Offbeat romance with Colin Farrell, expected to have a limited release. Like one old home movie screen in Colin's basement.)
• A new trailer for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is now online.
• Report: the Pope did NOT endorse Mel Gibson's Jesus film. "The pope does not make judgments on art of this kind; he leaves that to others, to experts, except that he does recommend Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man"
• Is that a gun in your soccer shorts, or are you just unhappy to see me score? Striker gunned down by rival after scoring winning goal. The guy pulled a gun from his soccer shorts. How do you fit a gun in soccer shorts?
• Weekly World News: "University of Wyoming geologists claim to have found a race of super- intelligent 'mole people' living in caves under the Bighorn Mountains." Oh, wait. That was Cheney's undisclosed location. Sorry.
• Australian Idol chick has the winning showbiz formula: Actual quote: "'I want to have shorter hot pants than Kylie, have more scandal than Madonna and a little less surgery than Cher.'"
• The word around the Sundance Film Festival is that Britney Spears has agreed to take some sort of part in a new Tim Allen comedy, "In the Pink".
• President Bush declared last Sunday the National Sanctity of Human Life Day, 2004. And in order to celebrate it, he bombed the living shit out of some countries where they were living unsanctified lives.
• Massive collection of pics of chicks at the AVN porno convention. Lots of revealing outfits and almost-outfits.
• "JOHN LESLIE's girlfriend Abi Titmuss has been ditched by telly's Richard And Judy show following revelations of her four-in-a-bed sex romps."
• The trickiest pussy ever. (Very naughty video)
• Yahoo's full slideshow (327 pics) of photos from the Sundance Film Festival
• According to the official Oasis website: "Alan White has been asked to leave Oasis by the other band members. There are no plans to replace Alan. The band's scheduled recording sessions remain unaffected. "
• National Book Critics Circle chooses awards nominees.
• Dirkon - The Paper Camera
• Redford: The time's right to act again: "This is his way of announcing that his tenure as founder and frontman of the Sundance Film Festival is nearing an end. And he's about to recommit to his day job: acting and directing."

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

The L-Word revisited

• Swimming scene - Katherine Moenning and Friend (.avi version only, .wmv version in yesterday's edition)

• Sex scene - Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman (.avi version only, .wmv version in yesterday's edition)

Kristi Frank

• Kristi Frank (from the reality show, The Apprentice) in Red Shoe Diaries, clip 1 (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Kristi Frank (from the reality show, The Apprentice) in Red Shoe Diaries, clip 2 (.avi version), .wmv version)

• Kristi Frank (from the reality show, The Apprentice) in Red Shoe Diaries, clip 3 (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

"Jack & Jill" (1998)
Light "anti-romantic" comedy produced by Atom Egoyan. No nudity.

• Shauna MacDonald: awkward below the sheets love scene.
• Kathryn Zenna: slight pokies and cleavage.
• Tara Johnson: tight sweater.
• Unknown: partial breast nursing baby. The boob looks real but not the baby.

"Welcome to Paradox" (tv series)

• Justine Priestley: showing as much skin as US cable will allow in episode "The Extra" as a nymphomaniac who has sex with a guy's clone.

Lenore Zann: various wild sex scenes...

• breasts and buns in "Gross Misconduct" (1993).
• breasts, buns, and partial bush in "Cold Sweat" (1993).
• breasts and butt in "Babyface" (1998).

Still cleaning up my hard drive...

• Isabelle Mejias: showing some leg and upskirt in "Meatballs III" (1987).
• Shannon Tweed: underwear and bikini only in "Meatballs III" (1987).

"Freddy vs. Jason"
This 2003 gorefest features the major characters of two popular horror series, Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street) and Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th). It has lots of blood, quite a bit of nudity, and even a plot of sorts.

Freddy has lost all his powers because the kids on Elm Street have forgotten him, and are no longer afraid. They no longer dream of him so he has no powers over them. To solve this, he resurrects Jason to go to Elm Street to off some of the local kiddies, thereby bringing fear (and nightmares) back. Unfortunately, Jason does his job too well, and finally they are pitted against one another in a fight to the finish.

For fans only, but at least you definitely know what you're getting with this flick. Incidentially, if you're interested in the nudity, watch the full-screen version, as many of the boob shots are cut off in wide-screen.

• Katharine Isabelle, possible body double in this shower scene.
• Monica Keena, showing some vey nice cleavage.
• Odessa Munroe, robo-hooters and far off rear nudity.
• A topless unknown

Going back back to the 70s again!

Part 1...The ladies from "Shaft's Big Score", the first sequel to the 1971 Blaxploitation classic "Shaft".

• Kathy Imrie, topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Marilyn Hamlin, also topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Rosalind Miles

From another Blaxploitation flick, 1975's T.N.T. "Jackson".

• Pat Anderson (1, 2)

Chantal Kreviazuk
(1, 2)

Lindy Booth
(1, 2, 3)

Kirshner fans should check out yesterday's edition of the Fun House to see video clips and 'caps of her topless and in lesbian and straight love scenes from the new cable series "The L Word".

MICROSOFT THREATENS MIKEROWESOFT
No Softie - Mike Rowe, 17, of British Columbia, Canada, came up with a clever name for his website: he added "Soft" to his name and became MikeRoweSoft. He soon got a letter from Microsoft's lawyers, saying he was confusing their customers and demanding he give them his domain name. He said he'd put too much money into it already and wanted to be paid. They offered $10, the cost of registering it. He demanded $10,000. They refused, so he ignored their last e-mail and hasn't heard from them since.