Sunday

THIRD PARTY VIDEOS

Lane-a Mania

Here's most of Diane Lane's career, to fill out any gaps in your collection of film clips. Precise nudity info for these films can be obtained by checking her volume in the Encyclopedia.

To my knowledge, the only significant omission is The Fabulous Stains, which has plenty of flesh, but is impossible to obtain. There are also a few minor peeks in other movies. The missing nudity is shown below (not new stuff, but just for reference):

The Fabulous Stains - no review

 

 

Rumble Fish - no review

 

 

Priceless Beauty - no review

 

 

Descending Angel - http://www.fakes.net/descendingangel.htm

 

 

Under the Tuscan Sun - no review

 

 

Must Love Dogs - no review- no review

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

"Bliss"

Season One (2002)

This popular Oxygen Network show was written and directed by women, based mostly on women's erotic literature. This gives it an entirely different slant than the usual couples erotica, because it focuses on eroticism and what the characters are thinking and feeling rather than on body parts and the many ways they can fit together. We have at least breasts and sometimes buns in all but one of the eight episodes.

 


Valentines Day in Jail (Episode 1)


 

Torri Higgenson is on her way to visit a prisoner, not in her usual capacity as a prison teacher, but this time because she wants to see him. He is doing ten years for drug charges, but she is in love. He has arranged a way to duck under a table with her and get intimate during the visit. When they are caught, he is in real trouble, and she has to evaluate if she is willing to wait for him.

 

Torri Higgenson shows breasts and buns.

 

 

 


Six Days (Episode 2)


 

This one was outstanding in my opinion. A farm wife is in a comfortable but stale marriage with a husband who thinks cribbage is the height of marital bliss. When he falls from the hay lof and must spend time in the hospital, she hires a drifter to help with the work. They hit it off, and it doesn't take long for him to prove just how handy he really is.

 

Michelle Duquet shows buns, and a partial breast when she discovers him in the bath, strips, and gets in.

 

 

 


Guys and Dolls (Episode 3)


 

Jenny Levine is owner of a prestigious law firm, and her career is her life. She steps out of a cab to get better cell reception on the way to a meeting, and the cabby takes off with her purse, brief case, etc. She ducks into a club to call her office for help, and quickly discovers that people are there to couple up, and that money changes hands as part of the bargain. When she is propositioned by a well-spoken man, she ends up in her room, and they have a fabulous time. They end up making it a twice a week date. When she discovers that he is married, and hence only has anonymous sex, it doesn't bother her at all. Things almost change when she finally meets the client she skipped the meeting with and finds out that he is also a high power attorney.

Jenny Levine shows breasts in an undressing scene.

 

 

 

 


The Value of X (Episode 4)


 

This is the one without nudity, but it's an interesting tale of gender confusion in High School. A girl is being encouraged by her best friend to date a jock. She is not interested, but forms a friendship with an outcast boy, and together they discover that she want the best friend, and he wants the jock. As a drama, this had merit, but I did not find much erotic about it.

 

 


Voice (Episode 5)


 

A wannabe artist is having an affair with a more successful artist, but discovers that he is married, and starts hearing the voice of his wife. Finally, she meets the wife, and it changes her life forever, and for the best.

Mikela L. Mikael shows breasts.

 

 

 


Leaper (Episode 6)


 

A young female author with writer's block stops to help a street person who would rather have a kiss from her than her money. She is somewhat disturbed by this Sapphic advance, and stops in a cafe, where she meets another woman. The other, older woman takes her home and seduces her, but on the way, they learn the homeless girl has jumped in front of a subway train. After sex, the author realizes that the street girl was the previous lover of this woman, and that she was intended to be next.

Michelle Lipper as the author shows breasts and buns

 

 

 


In Praise of Drunkenness and Fornication (Episode 7)


 

This would also have been my choice for the first on the DVD. It is intelligently written and even sent me to the dictionary once. A mature couple is dressing for a dinner party they are hosting, and talk about how they lust after the youngest of the three couples. Much wine is consumed during dinner, and about the time the refreshment gets hard and the conversation gets more intimate, the young couple leaves. One of the wives gets wobbly and is put to bed. Then the other husband nearly passes out. After his wife puts him to bed, she seduces the other husband. Her husband catches her, but motions her to continue, then the other wife walks in, and ends up in bed with husband one. The next morning, all are hung over, but happy.

Gina Wilkinson shows breasts.

 

 

 

 


The Footpath of the Pink Rose (Episode 8)


 

Sarah has a perfect boyfriend. He has a good job, doesn't suffer from premature ejaculation, doesn't cheat, and is a tender lover. Given all that, why is she unhappy. It takes an encounter with an aggressive man in her karate class to show her the no holds barred loving she has been craving.

Victoria Sanchez shows breasts in several scenes.

 

 

 

This show was popular enough that it lasted at least two more seasons. I found both this and the season two DVD to be worth the effort.  I honestly find it refreshing after seeing so much male-oriented erotica. Even though there is less emphasis on body parts. I suspect it would be difficult to keep the show fresh within the framework they established for source material. This will resonate with your female partner, and probably in places that you want resonating.

The genre is couples erotica, and this is a head-of-the-class act. C+.

 

 


I guess it's about time we got around to doing this one -  last year's #1 on the list of best nude performances -  Gretchen Mol in "The Notorious Bettie Page.. What else can I say other than that Gretchen really looked like the immortal Bettie.

 

 

 


Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace (2004)

Canadian exploitation spoof with Nancy Riehle and Emma Maloney as two lipstick lesbians and Shana Betz as the villian. An interesting thing revealed in the DVD commentary is that Patricia Bellemore who stole the movie as the virtual bikini girl turned down an offer to appear in a Hefmag spread, "The Women of Radio," that was published a few years ago.

Emma Maloney

 

 

Shana Betz

 

 

Patricia Bellemore

 

 

Nancy Riehle

 

 

Nancy Bouzi

 

 

Catfight

 

 

Nunsploitation

 

 


 

This is an interesting link:

http://www.animaldefense.com/stop/4pa%20-%20pa.htm

While I do not condone the attempts of character assassination of the actress Teri Austin  by these veggie militants,  I do admire their ability to dig up some rare nudie pics of her from the forgotten Bedtime cable series. Clearly she would really have rather gone nekkid than wear fur.

 


 

Which leads us to another trip in the wayback machine. Actress turned animal-rights activist Teri Austin in an 1988 episode of the Night Heat episode called Goodbodies, with a bunch of aerobics babes in their leotards.

 

 

Teri Austin

 

 

The other chicks

 

 

Dann reports on Crank (2006):

 

I became a Jason Statham fan after watching him in the two Transporter movies where he plays a good guy/bad guy who transports any package, and doesn't want to know what's in it. Based on those performances, I jumped at the chance to grab up 2006's Crank.

In this one, there's no nice-guy pretense, because Statham plays a hit man named Chev. A rival killer has injected Chev with a lethal poison that will kill him in an hour. Chev's one hope of prolonging life is to keep his heart rate very high, and his adrenalin flowing, so he sets out to find the rival and kill him before he himself dies.

If this sounds like a non-stop high-action thriller, it is. It never slows down from the first frame, and is very exciting and fun to watch. This is a really cool flick that will hold your attention from frame one to frame last, and even the end credits are cool.

 

My only disappointment is that it appears that Amy Smart used a body double for her brief boob outing, and I don't know why, because she's done nudity in the past.

Amy Smart (??) Various

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Supernatural Ladies

Melinda Clarke

Return of the Living Dead 3

I like this movie a lot and this is why: the undead character played by Melinda Clarke discovers that personal pain will discourage her from eating the brains of the living so by the time she is arrested by "the military elite" she is a pin cushion of piercing objects; I give this film two thumbs up for you goth folk out there.

 
 

 

 

 

Uma may not be as young as some of the women competing with her for roles, but she still looks as good in a bikini as anyone.