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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Phileine Zegt Sorry (2003)

This is a Dutch romantic comedy staring Kim van Kooten. Based on a popular novel full of one-liners, the concept is "dating woes from the female viewpoint." Phileine is tired of losing boyfriends, who invariably say they are sorry when they leave. In fact, she and her two best friends have come to despise the word. Her latest boyfriend, announces that he is going to New York for a year to study Shakespeare. After pretending not to care, she follows him, and finds him living in a flat with several eccentric people. Worst of all, he is cast in the lead of a pornographic production of Romeo and Juliet opposite Leona Philippo. When Phileine sneaks in to a rehearsal and sees that the show includes actual sex, she is decidedly not amused.

The film is full of fourth wall violations, with Phileine making comments to the audience, and her banter in Dutch and English is sometimes laugh-out-loud funny. Your mileage may vary, but I thoroughly enjoyed this comedy. It won numerous awards for van Kooten's performance, which was excellent, and for cinematography, which includes an impressive sex scene on a revolving bed in a hotel room where it is pouring rain inside the room.

Interestingly, it is rated "12 and older" due to "pervasive language, nudity and sex." Man, it's good to be a 12 year old boy in The Netherlands!

• IMDb readers say 6.2, but with a 7.3 from US voters.

• It is in Dutch and English with subtitles, and the Region 2 DVD includes a second disk of special features.

• This is a C+ on our scale. If you dislike subtitles or 4th wall violations, by all means skip it. Otherwise, it is well worth a rental for al fans of romantic comedies, and of course for all twelve-year-old Dutch boys.

 

 

Kim van Kooten.

Leona Phillipo

some old codgers

 

DALTON

... and approximately one gazillion pictures of Mena Suvari sunbathing topless on Miami Beach this past  Saturday, January 20, 2007. You remember her. A few years back it seemed that she would become a star. She was the cute little cheerleader who was the lust object in American Beauty and the choir chick in the first American Pie. That was 1999, and she was on top of the world. After that her career seemed to fizzle, and she never did any more nudity either.

But now we can see what we missed.

Indian author Pavan Varma has written a new translation of the Kama Sutra, the 2,000-year-old sex manual.  Varma says previous versions put too much emphasis on the 64 acrobatic sex positions, when the book originally told men that there is much more to being a good lover.  Men also must create an erotic atmosphere, such as lighting candles, scattering cushions and spraying perfume. They also must take the time to acquire 62 different skills to impress women, which include dressing stylishly; having impeccable manners; and being able to dance, paint, write and recite poetry, compose and perform music, mix drinks, give massages, make stimulating and witty conversation, understand botany
and show an intense interest in her mind rather than her body. 

*  The woman just has to show up. 

*  Is he sure this isn't the Kama Sutra for gay men? 

*  In America, "creating an erotic atmosphere" means kicking all the pizza boxes under the bed.

 

At the Milan fashion shows, the Marni fashion house unveiled what it claims will be the next big thing in men's wear: cotton and wool leggings with stirrup straps, in violet, forest green and fog gray, that men can wear outside instead of pants.  Creative director Consuelo Castiglioni
called the leggings, "Unconventional but sophisticated."

*  Unlike Ms Castiglioni, who is sophisticated, yet insane.

*  Stirrups haven't been this gay since "Brokeback Mountain."

 

Apparently tired of feuding with Donald Trump,Rosie O'Donnell unloaded on "American Idol" during last week's "The View."  She said "Idol's" audition shows make her "sad", and that she doesn't think Americans want to watch mean, "socially irresponsible" judges ridicule auditioners because of their weight or looks.

*  For some reason, Rosie has a lot of empathy for fat, ugly people who can't sing.
 

A university physicist in Kyoto, Japan, who has studied snowflakes for 15 years said that contrary to popular belief, it's very possible that some
snowflakes, at least the smaller ones, might be just alike, although it would be very hard to find two identical ones to prove it

* But he's spent 15 years of his life looking, and this is what he's got to show for it, so knock yourself out

* He expects to get a flurry of attention, then be dismissed as a flake...