Thursday

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Bully (2001) as Scoop said yesterday, is a film that you can admire as being very well made, but not enjoy. While it is cinema verite, it does not have the amateur look of many films in the genre. Most scenes are well lit, there is little motion blur, and the camera work, while hand-held and intimate, is steady. This means that, unlike Blair Witch Project, those prone to motion sickness can watch this one. While I have not seen any of the cast in anything else, so it is difficult to tell, I would say these young performers did a very good job with their roles.

I ended up with far too many images for one night (I have been kind of overloading you lately) so tonight we have Rachel Miner. Tomorrow night, Bijou Phillips. Both actresses show all three Bs more than once. Like Scoop, I don't much like this genre, but was impressed by the film so B- is an appropriate grade.

MOVIES

Rock Star is that thing with Jennifer Aniston and Marky Mark, about the local singer who gets to be frontman for a big national heavy metal group. There was a surprisingly large quantity of flesh, but nobody identifiable.

• Orgy Chicks (1, 2)
• Groupie (1, 2)
• Sunbathers (1, 2, 3)
• Jennifer Aniston, the most famous Greek since Zorba,  fully dressed, but looking cute as a button. (1, 2)

James Dean is a made-for-TNT biopic of the eccentric, sensitive, doomed actor who was to become a cultural icon after his death. I didn't really get into their portrayal of Dean's life, but I enjoyed the insider looks at Broadway and Hollywood in the 50's.

• Valentina Cervi (maybe nipples, maybe not)

Bingo Long's Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings is new to DVD. Most of the great baseball films, like The Natural and Field of Dreams and Eight Men Out, take themselves and their subject matter too seriously. I like Bingo Long because it shows men playing the game for fun, with exhilaration, humor, and joy. It's sometimes good to remember that that's what games used to be about in the era before players became self-marketing corporations. It is about the pre-war days of black baseball, loosely based on Satchel Paige (the Billy Dee Williams character) and Josh Gibson (the James Earl Jones character)

The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Barbara Hershey, topless and a very brief flash of pubes in scenes from "The Last Temptation of Christ".

• Claire Skinner, lovely toplessness from the French movie, "Mauvaise passe" (1999).

• Nicolette Sheridan, breasts, and excellent rear nudity in "Raw Nerve".

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

• Angie Cepeda (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Aitana Sanchez-Gijon

• Charlotte Alexandria (1, 2)

On the domestic front we have Tuna caps of:

• Charlize Theron in The Yards, on the theory that you can't get too many Charlize nekkid caps even if they are small.

• Cynthia B. King in Motorama, engaged in some clothes removal, appropriately enough in a car.

• Deborah Fallender, also getting help with her clothing in Jabberwocky.

• Lesley-Anne Downe, flirting with a nipple peek in The Pink Panther Strikes Again.

• Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio in a loose shirt and undies in The Color of Money. You know, the caps of MEM remind me that an award ought to go to the make-up folks in A Perfect Storm for making her, Diane Lane and George Clooney look rather... well, unappealing... although in Diane's case I suppose you could plunge her head-first into sheep dip and she would still look shaggable.

• Finally, collages of Tuna caps of Baby Boy starring the impressively built Tamara LaSeon Bass and the energetic Taraji P. Henson.

Oh, and one last thing. You guys caught Beat the Geeks yet? Idiotic premise: ask the contestant, "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?" and then ask the geek, "Who designed the tomb and from which quarry was the marble cut?" Anywho, running 'round the background of the show is a babe by the name of Tiffany Bolton. Wanna see her nekkid? Check out the Encyclopedia, where you will find her in a first-rate vidcap. And that's why it's called The Encyclopedia.

Genie then starts having fantasies about her rescuer and in her dreams she sees him as this specimen of the homo equestris cockerectus or the hard-on horseman if you prefer (role by Juliano Mer). Why am I showing this you may ask? Well for two reasons mainly: at this point the supposedly frightening film has already become completely ridiculous, certainly by this gratuitous shot, and secondly to show that this is clearly not Robert Englund like a reviewer in the IMDb writes. What is even more irritating is the fact that although Zoe Trilling shows her big breasts and buns, they are never clear, let alone a clear full frontal shot like the horseman. Where's equality of the sexes when you need it?

Both Englund and Trilling put in exceptionally bad performances. According to the IMDb Zoe even quit acting and is now a teacher at the American Ballroom Theater in NYC. I do hope she's better at dancing than at acting. The plot is ludicrous and full of holes. Genie has to be punished because she resembles someone from the past who pissed off Englund, but finally he's punishing (two images of collage three included especially for Hankster) her for something she had absolutely nothing to do with as well. And then there's also a snakewoman, played by Tamar Shamir. I'm still not sure what her role in the story was. If by now you don't understand what I'm going on about, then you have exactly the same feeling I had after watching this flick and I succeeded in sharing my feeling with the Fun House readers.

• Zoe Trilling (1, 2, 3)
• Tamar Shamir

Next there is Alice Reys in the terribly boring Dutch movie "Lef" (guts). Not much to tell here. Alice goes skinny-dipping in the North Sea during winter and the film drags on and on and on...

• Alice Reys

Then let me present you a more mature woman from home, Chris Thys, in the prestigious and beautifully filmed but slow-paced series "Stille Waters" on VRT TV1.

• Chris Thys (1, 2)

And I'll finish with Jean Simmons in " Spartacus ". I don't think there's anything to see her but you never know. I can see why Kubrick wasn't happy with this film. Although it's a monumental epic I think it also became "dated" : in the beginning it propagates the superiority of Christianity (it's said that it delivered people from slavery!) and some backgrounds are obviously matte paintings. Also the slaves all seem to be people with high moral values while the Romans are depicted as cruel and stupid rulers without values. Can you really build and maintain a huge empire for centuries only by ruthless cruelty ? I don't think so.

• Jean Simmons (1, 2, 3)

Additional items today: In link #2 she is threatened with a black, penis shaped dildo. In links 3 and 4 we see some pretty good views below equator.

• Sharon Montgomery (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Link #3 is sure to be a crowd favorite, and links 4 and 5 are Hankster approved.

Susie Porter
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Some news for youse. For this story, you might want to check out the pic at this this link. There's a photo, and the drawing of Winona looks more like one of the B-52s. Apparently, she's been shoplifting wigs from Eva Gabor...

Winona Ryder T-shirts selling fast in Los Angeles

T-shirts with the slogan Free Winona have become a big seller in Los Angeles. They refer to Winona Ryder's arrest on suspicion of shoplifting from a Beverly Hills store in December.

The Y-Que Trading Post has sold more than 300 of the shirts in the past month. Ryder has appeared in court accused of stealing £3,300 worth of merchandise from Saks of Fifth Avenue. Most of the T-shirts don't feature Ryder but a picture from a wig ad, reports www.latimes.com. Y-Que is also selling Free Adam Ant T-shirts. Ryder is due in court again on February 11.

These others are from IMDB News. First, big news for the Heather Graham fans: she's strapping on the roller skates again, and unstrapping everything else...

Rollergirl Returns

Movie babe Heather Graham is returning to the sexy role that shot her to fame - she's making a sequel to Boogie Nights. The sexy star stripped naked for her role as porn star Rollergirl in 1997 hit Boogie Nights, a part that launched her Hollywood career, and the blonde actress looks set to strap on her skates again to reprise the role in a raunchy sequel. According to Britain's Daily Sport newspaper director Paul Thomas Anderson is already working on scripts for Boogie Nights 2. But the film will be without original star Mark Wahlberg's famously well- endowed character Dirk Diggler. A source told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper, "Rollergirl will be the film's major character. Dirk will not be in the sequel. He will be mentioned. But he's left the porn industry." Julianne Moore is also due to reprise her role as porn mother figure Amber Waves - and will join Graham in stripping off again. The source adds, "It'll be an explicit script. Both Heather and Julianne will have to go nude during the film."

Here's one to spark debate. Personally, I think if you want hot movie babes, you have to go with the Russian chicks, like Maria Ouspenskaya...

Minnie Driver: English Actresses Are Ugly

Hollywood actress Minnie Driver has launched an astonishing assault on the looks of other British female stars. Minnie lashed out at British actresses in general for lacking the same glitzy looks as their Hollywood counterpoints. But it was Oscar-winner Dame Judi Dench, one of Britain's favorite actresses, who felt the full force of Driver's remarks. She says, "In England we have some of the plainest actresses in the entire world as our greatest stars. You can have Judi Dench, a small, round, middle-aged, lovely, mothering-type playing Cleopatra. Here in Hollywood she would melt into the crowd." But a spokesperson for Driver, 31, insisted the comments were not meant to be disparaging and instead were intended to show that actresses can - and should - be judged on their talent, not their looks.

Finally, a pretty boring quote, but it's from Jennifer Connelly, so you can get all excited as you picture her saying it...

Jennifer Connelly's Favorite Director

Jennifer Connelly has worked with some of the best directors in Hollywood -but she is convinced her four-year-old son beats the lot. The sexy 31-year-old picked up a Golden Globe for her role alongside Russell Crowe in the Ron Howard directed, A Beautiful Mind. But Connelly says Howard will have to take second place to her son Kai, who she is convinced will make a great movie-maker. Jennifer says the toddler has a "Theatrical, exuberant personality." Adding, "We've already done plays together. Very short plays. He dictates them to me. Sometimes he casts me, sometimes he doesn't. And when I'm in the play, he'll sometimes say to me, 'No Mom, you didn't say that right.'"

>From Ananova. On this soccer team, the sponsor is the only one who's allowed to touch the balls with her hands. Gives new meaning to the phrase, "He shoots, he scores!"...

Volleyball team gets porn star sponsor

An Italian porn star is the new sponsor of a leading Italian volleyball team.

Eva Henger is giving the Pallavolo Palermo team T-shirts with pictures of herself on the front.

The team has been looking for a sponsor for the last four months.

A spokesman told the Il Nuovo website businesses in Palermo are reluctant to sponsor the team because volleyball isn't as popular as soccer.

Ms Henger will attend the team's next game against Edison Modena to support the players.

The Pallavolo Palermo team plays in Italy's major volleyball league.

Remember how I said you liked Robert Altman more than I do? Well, I think just about anybody would like the SOB more than I do now. Why do these America-hating Hollywood assholes always talk about leaving the U.S., and yet they never do? Altman was "threatening" to move to France after the last election, yet here he still is. If the land that made you rich and famous sucks so much, what are you waiting for, Bob? Lines too long at the airport? From NY Post, Page Six...

DON'T COME BACK

MAKING "Gosford Park" in England seems to have turned Robert Altman against the United States. "When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke," he fumed to the Times of London yesterday. "This present government in America I just find disgusting, the idea that George Bush could run a baseball team successfully - he can't even speak! I just find him an embarrassment." Altman's feeling is so strong, he's thinking of moving to London for good. "I'd be very happy to stay here," he tells the paper. "There's nothing in America that I would miss at all."