 |
|
|
|
Paris Hilton
Everyone's favorite celebutante is up to her old naked tricks in
these seven zipped .mov videos. (92
meg worth of goodies.) Each of the collages below matches up with one of the videos. (There are two
collages for video #7, for reasons which will be evident when you get to that
last one.)
And then there are these higher quality images of Paris boating off to
somewhere with her breasts exposed.
Third Party Videos
Marie-Josee Croze. She's the
major babe who played a Dutch assassin-for-hire in Spielberg's Munich. Here she
is in zipped .avi clips three other films:
OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Backstreet Justice
Backstreet Justice (1994) features Linda Kozlowski as a
low-rent private investigator who lives in a Pittsburgh slum, and has been
hired to solve a string of murders that she thinks is the work of police. She
has an easy time believing that crooked cops exist, as her own father died in
a shootout while allegedly trying to assassinate a crime commissioner.
This is one tough little lady. Every time she returns home
there is some cop on the roof doing some dastardly deed. She always engages
with the cop, and ends up beaten but ok. As an example, she surprises a cop in
her apartment. His partner knocks her out. They carry her downstairs, toss her
in their trunk, and both bend over to close the lid. She kicks the lid,
nailing both in the chin. Then she outruns and out-jumps both men, and
escapes. One by one, we meet characters she trusts and the characters
she battles with. Don't take any of that too seriously, as most of them
flip-flop in the last ten minutes.
The underlying theme is one of corruption for personal
profit, which I relate to, and Pittsburgh looks wonderful. On the other hand,
there are a few logic errors in this one and the acting is inconsistent, so I
found it a very long watch, even though it was only 91 minutes.
IMDb readers say 3.7. I am not sure I
understand what differentiates films between three and five at IMDb.
Backstreet Justice is not awful, just a few bricks shy of a load. A little
more effort and it might have been an acceptable genre effort, therefore our
scale renders it a D+.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Night of the Wilding
Today the Time Machine is back in Bad 1990s Movieland. And
I do mean a really bad movie, an Erik Estrada flick called Night of the
Wilding. Just skip it because the only highlights are right here.
In these caps and
two clips, Kimberly Spies shows breasts as two bad guys are raping her.
Meanwhile, Julie Austin shows some boobs in the shower, as
seen in these caps and
two clips.
|
|
|
 |
|
The Cassandra Crossing
"The Cassandra Crossing (http://imdb.com/title/tt0074292/)
is a disaster movie from the 70s, when those were in vogue. This time,
danger threatens a train and the usual cast of passenger clichés (celebrated
doctor, his divorced wife, hippies, little children etc.)
Not a very suspenseful film. Greek-Cypriot George Cosmatos
provided direction which is nothing spectacular except for some aerial shots,
and the plot is full of holes and logical errors. On the plus side, I liked
Jerry Goldsmith's Morricone-like score and the interesting cast: Sophia Loren,
Ava Gardner (a weapon dealer's wife), Ingrid Thulin, Richard Harris, Burt
Lancaster (the evil military man), Martin Sheen (Ava's toy-boy, a
drug-addicted mountain climber!), Lee Strasberg and O.J.Simpson (an undercover
cop dressed as a priest).
Fort Saganne
Fort Saganne (http://imdb.com/title/tt0087284/)
is a French film vaguely reminiscent of "Lawrence of Arabia." It's the
story of a military officer named Saganne, his fights in the Sahara Desert,
and his love affairs. Like every other French movie of the past 35-40 years,
it stars Gerard Depardieu.
Saganne is an honest soldier and although he fights against
the Arabs, they respect him for his integrity and bravery. Saganne at first
seems to question French colonialism but quickly overcomes this obstacle in
his existential search of self-discovery. Perhaps this excuse seemed cool in
1984, but not today, so it may be hard for some viewers to sympathize with him
and his plague later on. When his missions in Africa are finally over he
returns home and starts a family, but WW1 breaks and he is killed in battle.
His wife has given birth to his son however, so maybe he will follow in his
father's steps.
Reportedly the most expensive French production up to its
date (1984), the film is an old fashioned war-adventure-drama and maybe a bit
too long at 175 minutes, but made and acted well.
|
Catherine Deneuve
is seductive and teasing ...
|
  |
|
... and young Sophie Marceau
shows nipples and the sides of her breasts.
|
  |
|
unknown
|
 |
Parole de Flic
Parole de flic (http://imdb.com/title/tt0089776/)
is a yet another Alain Delon "policier" from France. A flawed but still
entertaining "genre" film.
In this one Delon (the star as well as and producer of the
film) is a former police officer who takes The Charles Bronson path and turns
vigilante against a marauding squad of renegade cops. They they murdered his
daughter in one of their killing sprees, although their original goal was to
rid the streets of junkies, male prostitutes, juvenile delinquents and the
like. Along the way the hero meets love interest (Fiona Gelin) and faces his
old buddy, the police captain, who is ultimately revealed to be the mastermind
behind the evil group (something anyone will have guessed from the start).
The idea of a vigilante vs vigilantes makes little sense,
as does the survival of a one-man killing machine, who is being chased by both
the honest police and the undercover vigilantes, yet wins in the end. It is
all very naive, but if one ignores this fact, one will enjoy the various
violent set-pieces and stand-offs. Delon is in top form. He gets dressed as a
clown in a circus towards the film's climax and even sings the ending theme
song in English!
|
There's full nudity from Fiona Gelin
... |
   |
|
and topless from Veronique
Saudi, who plays a stripper.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
The Hunger
Episode: "THE FACE OF HELENE BOURNOUW"
A journalist (Stephen McHattie) investigates three
suicides of very successful people on top of their game. The incidents
appear to be unrelated, but he finds that all of them stem an
obsession with the same mysterious woman named Helene (Jayne Heitmeyer).
He sees a great story on these and looks for Helene. This episode was
weak, McHattie does well but the story doesn't have anything special,
the ending doesn't explain anything and doesn't make sense either.
|
|
|
Notes and collages
Diora Baird
|
Diora Baird
in
Wedding Crashers |
 
|
|
Diora Baird
in
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning |
 
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Squiddy came up with some great public
see-throughs. First, modeling legend Elle
MacPherson |
|
|
|
Second, sexy chanteuse
Beyonce Knowles. |
|
|
|
Third, reality TV chick
Davorka Tovilo. I guess you could say
that she's like to be the European Paris Hilton. She just seems to show up at every
party and premiere. I read that she would have a role in Brand Hauser:
Stuff Happens, the new film with both Cusacks, but I don't see her name
listed in the cast at IMDb. |
|
|
|
Here are some more of those topless
paparazzi shots of the adorable Kelly Brook
(and the not-as-adorable Billy Zane.) Wait!!! Billy Zane is on a boat
and it's still afloat. Somebody call Ripley. |
|
 
|
|
Jessica Simpson falls out of her
dress. ALMOST.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Pat's comments in yellow...
Kelly Osbourne said recently that she would like to pose fully nude for
Playboy, "but I'd have to have some airbrushing on my (boobs)." But don't hold
your breath. When asked about it, Hugh Hefner replied, "I can't see it happening
somehow. We don't airbrush to that extent."
* Except when they run pictures of Hef.
Radar Online obtained a 60-page proposal for a book by Scott Baio about his
legendary sexual exploits with an array of famous women. But some stories aren't
very arousing. He recalls losing his virginity to "Happy Days" co-star Erin "Joanie
Cunningham" Moran and thinking that sex was really uncomfortable until he
realized "my thing was between the cushions on the couch and I didn't even know
it...I was humping a corduroy sofa!"
* That segues into a story about dating Kirstie Alley.
Baio also recalls Liza Minnelli asking him for a sperm sample so she could
fertilize her egg and have a surrogate mother carry their baby. She said, "I
really want your sperm. You're a talented, good-looking Italian guy. That's what
I want my child to be."
* Liza had a husband at the time, but he also wanted a
good-looking Italian guy.
The National Restaurant Association is calling for the cancellation of Kevin
Federline's Nationwide Insurance commercial that is set to debut during the
Super Bowl. It shows him reduced from big-spending rapper to fast-food burger
flipper. Nationwide said they just wanted to depict a humorous and surprising
change in K-Fed's life. But the group calls it an insult to the 12.8 million
Americans who work in restaurants and says the ad implies their jobs are
demeaning.
* True. It implies that even Kevin Federline has enough
talent to do their jobs! How insulting can you GET?!
Billboard.com reports that money has overcome years of seething animosity,
and David Lee Roth and Van Halen are very close to signing for a 40-city reunion
tour. But there is one complication: Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang
would play bass because Michael Anthony is already signed to tour with Roth's
replacement, Sammy Hagar, playing Van Halen tunes under the name, "The Other
Half."
* Meanwhile, Gary Cherone will be playing Van Halen
songs on the jukebox while he sweeps out a TGI Friday's in Larchmont.
A University of Calgary professor has published a massive analysis of studies
of procrastination, but he still couldn't pinpoint the specific reason why
people procrastinate
* He'll might put that in his next report. Or not. |
 |
|
|
 |
|
