Cold Heart Canyon (2008) is a direct-to-DVD offering that was probably
intended for a spot on the erotic thriller shelf. Aubrey Caldwell moves to
Laurel Canyon to get over her divorce, and meets an attractive couple, Will
Lupardus and Lee Anne Davis. The three end up in a ménage a trois, and
then Caldwell and Lupardus get serious. Lee Anne Davis disappears, but while
Lupardus is away on business, another man shows up, claims to be a police
officer, and convinces her that Lupardus is a killer.
The budget is given at approximately $50k, which is amazing. That's not
much money to produce a feature-length film, even assuming that all the
performers and crew worked for food, the locations were all stolen, thee
entire film was shot on video without retakes, and the 90 minute runtime
probably includes 12 minutes of repeat footage for padding.
And yet, despite that economic miracle, you would make a much better film
if you had $50,000.
Even if you left the lens-cap on.
Cold Heart Canyon is as light on erotica as it is on thrills. The
performers, while uniformly attractive, are also uniformly bad. It's currently
rated 2.0 at IMDb, but that is based on only 19 votes. I suspect it will
settle in a little lower when all votes are counted.
Aubrey Caldwell sort of shows one breast. Lee Anne Davis shows both breasts
in a medium long shot. Cassie Courtland shows breasts in a flashback scene
showing Caldwell's ex cheating. Holly Morgan shows everything as a call girl
that Lupardus gives to Caldwell as a birthday present.
Aubrey Caldwell
Scoop's notes: I had a screener copy of this film
quite some time ago. I watched it for about ten minutes, then tossed it
in the circular file ... because life is too short to dance with ugly women.
And, for that matter, life is too ugly to dance with short women. But that's a
story for another day.
You can find videos from this film in LC's section, although I can't imagine
why you would want to.
