Harold & Kumar Got to White Castle (2004) is a comedy about a night in the life or Harold, a Korean American investment banker, and Kumar, his bright but underachieving roommate. They get stoned, and have a surreal night heading to a White Castle to satisfy a case of the munchies. Scoopy described some highlights in a well-written review, and I won't repeat what I basically agree with. I thoroughly enjoyed the film because it took surprising turns, had a quick pace, and both leads were very sympathetic characters.

Malin Ackerman shows breasts, as do 4 unknowns, two at a "boring" Asian student party, and two riding with Dugie Howser on top of a car. For me, this was much better than the average stoner flick, and had a few insights into racial stereotypes and bigotry in America. This is a C+.

Until September (2004):

The formula: really cute, unsophisticated, kinda daffy 'n' naive American girl ends up in Paris, starts out being offended by French surliness and ends up being seduced by a suave Frenchman. The American girl and the Frenchman change each other's lives in profound ways.

Well, at least as profound as ways can get in lightweight romances.

Until September was Richard Marquand's next directorial effort after two successes, Eye of the Needle and Return of the Jedi, and he did a workmanlike if uninspired job at the helm. Karen Allen was suitably adorable in the official Goldie Hawn - Meg Ryan - Kate Hudson role.

Yet, despite a competent director and star, it isn't really worth your time. There is nothing really very wrong with Until September. The problem is that there's really nothing very right with it, either. If you have seen any other film with the same general description, you have already seen this one. It offers no new insights nor sparkling dialogue nor dazzling photography nor humor, and everything proceeds in a completely predictable fashion.

Therefore, there are only two circumstances in which you might enjoy it:

1. If the general premise appeals to you, you're into chick-flicks, and you have never seen anything similar. (All three must be true.)

2. If you would like to see Karen Allen naked a lot.

For me, reason #2 was certainly true. Is there anyone my age who didn't have a crush on her? She's so cute, so perfectly "girl next door", so approachable, that any man could imagine her being his girlfriend without stretching his imagination. You know in your heart that you have no chance with Kim Basinger or Catherine Zeta-Jones or Bo Derek, but if you got stuck in an elevator with Karen, you might end up picking her up. She might even end up picking you up. I don't know if that is really true, but she gave off that aura, the promise that you have a chance with her. Hell, in a sense, most men did already have a chance with her. Not specifically with Karen, but with your Karen-like favorite girlfriend in high school or college who was cute, sensible, a great sport, and even-tempered. Karen was that girl, at least on screen. She was everyone's surrogate girlfriend, and that quality is why she had a film career that seemed more significant than the one that might have been dictated solely on the basis of  her ordinary talent.

And yet, reason #2 was not sufficient. Karen has a surprisingly excellent, petite body and she looked great in and out of her clothes. I enjoyed seeing her completely naked in several scenes, but in spite of that, and even though I like Karen in general, I still struggled through the movie. It just never deviates in any way from the formula, and it's just totally lacking in humor.

IMDb has it pegged about right at 5.0.

• Karen Allen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

More French Twists

You probably remember Laure Marsac from that pretentious vampire flick with Cruise and Banderas and Kiki as a little kid. Charlie captured Marsca in a 1994 (same year as Interview with the Vampire) TV movie, "un si bel orage"

• Laure Marsac collage by Charlie

• Very short zipped .wmv made from Charlie's film clip of Marsac

If your favorite French babe is Julie Delpy, you are waiting (as I have been for years) for a DVD producer somewhere to give us The Passion of Beatrice, Bertrand Tavernier's unrelentingly dark, sardonic view of the cruel and brutal elements of medieval life and, by extension, human nature. The movie is actually pretty goddamned depressing, but for our purposes the key point is that a very young Delpy spent quite a bit of time running around stark naked. Here's a good sample:

• Delpy (zipped .wmv)

Other Crap:

• The battle of the internet search engines. Google is the master, but the others have not given up, and are pushing Google to be even better.
• President Bush will propose a dramatic increase to $250,000 in government payments to families of U.S. troops killed in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and in future combat zones. That is about 20 times the current amount.
• Best Picture Oscar Collection (18-Pack) This is the start of a good idea. I would like to see them do more of these sets. All the nominated films of 1999, let's say, with the full Oscar show as a bonus.
• Google Becomes A Domain Registrar
• Cosby Case Twists: His Admission, Her Request:
• Here is the first review of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is due to be released in May.
• The full trailer for Ring 2.
• The teaser trailer for Nanny McPhee
  • Emma Thompson, whose first screenplay won the 1995 Oscar for 'Sense and Sensibility,' returns to screenwriting with 'Nanny McPhee,' a motion picture adaptation of the 'Nurse Matilda' books by Christianna Brand. Thompson, the only person to have won Oscars for both acting and writing, also plays the title role in 'Nanny McPhee,' opposite Colin Firth, Kelly Macdonald and-in her first role for the big screen in two decades-Angela Lansbury. In this dark and witty fable, Thompson portrays a person of unsettling appearance and magical powers who enters the household of the recently widowed Mr. Brown (Firth) and attempts to tame his seven exceedingly ill-behaved children.
• In an announcement which is stunning the world, France has decided to change its name permanently to Stinkland. According to Council spokesperson Jacques Mouffette, "Our country is so well known for its pungent aromas -- our runny cheeses, spoiled meats, overflowing sewage systems, and citizens who don't bathe or use deodorant -- that we decided to capitalize upon it with the name change."
• Students say First Amendment not fetch. "When told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high school students said it goes 'too far' in the rights it guarantees. Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories."
• Snoop Accused Of Sexual Assault
• Color photographs from WW1.
• Robert Zemeckis will direct The Corrections, a screen adaptation of Jonathan Franzen's National Book Award-winning novel.
• I got a fever and there's only one prescription that works: More Cowbell. (Even Blue Oyster Cult loves this bit.)
• Entertaining site. URL says it all: OfficeSlang.com
• Eva Longoria has joined the cast of The Sentinel, a political thriller to star Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland and Kim Basinger.
• Sam Huntington has been cast as Daily Planet cub reporter Jimmy Olsen in Bryan Singer's Superman movie.
• A stripper mauled by a tiger in an Ontario safari park has won $650,000 in damages because her scars meant she could no longer strip.
• Christine Todd Whitman tells Jon Stewart about her new book 'It's My Party Too.'
• The Daily Show's Rob Corddry reports on his SUH-WEET front row seats at Bush's last news conference.
• The trailer and promo teaser for BloodRayne, the next film from Ewe Boll (Alone in the Dark). It stars a strange mixture of performers: Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, Will Sanderson, Udo Kier, Michael Pare, Geraldine Chaplin, Billy Zane
• David Schwimmer, Master Thespian
• Film producers threatened legal action against Kelly Brook and Billy Zane unless he backed down over demands that nude shots of Kelly should be cut from Three."
  • "At first Kelly and Billy were fine with everything, she was happily getting naked, but then they started dating. After that he kicked up a huge fuss about the nudity and started trying to block those scenes. It got really ugly. The producers had to call in lawyers and threaten him and Kelly."
• American Pie actress Tara Reid made an appeal for a boyfriend when she appeared on Ellen DeGeneres' chat show. DeGeneres and Reid agreed that any interested men should submit a 60-second tape of themselves. Reid promised that if Mr Right happened to be among them she would get married on Ellen's show.
• Orlando Bloom has reportedly dumped Kate Bosworth.
• French screen star Gerard Depardieu says he dreams of starring alongside Italian comedian Roberto Benigni in a remake of the 1950s Italian social satire movie 'The Little World of Don Camillo.' Benigni AND Depardieu? I'm already in line, dude!
• 'The Incredibles', a box office smash and possibly the best-reviewed film of the year, was virtually ignored by the Academy - but kicked ass at the Annies. (The Incredibles was nominated for Best Animated Film, but might have been nominated as Best Picture in a fairer world which does not equate automatically quality with genocide, insanity, and courageously dyin' people)
• Jennifer Capriati is apparently dating a porn star named Dale DeBone. True cinema aficionados will remember him from such triumphs as Fluffy Cumsalot, Anal Drillers 4, and the timeless screen romance I Cream on Genie. Damn, I didn't know there was an Anal Drillers 4. I gotta rent it, because that cliffhanger ending in Anal Drillers 3 was maddening!
• In prep for this years Super Bowl, review the best Super Bowl Ads from last year.
• The two basic rules of the universe: (1) art imitates life (2) life imitates Quincy. A medical examiner studying a body in a morgue was startled when the man took a breath.
• The bad news: Eva Mendes hates sex scenes. The good news: no problem with frontal nudity. OK by me. Those guys just get in the way anyway.
• Scientists find that Monkeys Will Pay to See Female Monkey Bottoms.
• Utilities Warn 'Fear Factor' Over Shocking Segment "There's no such thing as a safe shock. That's the warning that U.S. electric utilities gave to the producers of NBC's gross-out stunt show 'Fear Factor,' which is planning a segment next week where couples will compete to see who can get zapped by high-voltage electricity."
• Movie beauty LARA FLYNN BOYLE has been accused of stripping nude and trying to seduce a fellow passenger during a recent first-class flight to London. "Passengers claim the MEN IN BLACK 2 star started behaving strangely halfway through the ten-hour British Airways journey from Los Angeles to the capital's Heathrow Airport. But they were stunned when she stripped off her clothes and tried to climb into the bed of a sleeping stranger, reports British newspaper THE MAIL"
• Piazza-themed story on pro athletes and beautiful women ... Players and their favorite Playmates. No mention of Spongebob and his ill-fated three-day "hetero" marriage to Victoria Silvstedt. Poor girl nearly drowned.
• Good page! The Complete History of Michael Jackson's face
• Picasa 2, from Google: "Picasa is free software that helps you instantly find, edit and share all the pictures on your PC. Every time you open Picasa, it automatically locates all your pictures (even ones you forgot you had) and sorts them into visual albums organized by date with folder names you will recognize. You can drag and drop to arrange your albums and make labels to create new groups. Picasa makes sure your pictures are always organized. "
• Here is the Playboy Plus gallery for Mike Piazza's new bride, Miss October 1995, Alicia Rickter.
• Happy Days Pilot episode aired as part of Love, American Style. Anson "Potsie" Williams, Opie, and Marion Ross were in the pilot, but there was a different Howard Cunningham and no Fonzie.
• I'm not sure if this is encouraginbg or depressing. Ric Flair is still wrestling. He and I are almost exactly the same age. (I'm 22 days older!) That man is crazy! His autobiography, “To Be The Man...” has reached the top five on the New York Times Best-Seller List.
• Fascinating -- Statistical Summary: America's Major Wars Which war cost the most? How much did they all cost in today's dollars? What percentage of the U.S. population were combatants? Which had the most fatalities as an absolute number? As a percentage of combatants? Etc.
• The Top 10 Five-Word Movie Reviews

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

"Among Giants" (1999)

I'm not sure what the plans are for DVD-2, the next step in the DVD world, the move to higher definition. Last news I heard, there were two competing formats, and neither was willing to back down. If the market splits into two formats, it could actually become harder for us to obtain the minor titles.

A very special thanks to Brainscan for suggesting the theme submitting nominees for this week's new poll...
Best performance playing a stripper.

As far as what is "The Best", I'll let the readers decide. Is "Best" the sexiest dancing? or is it the most convincing (could they do this for real at a club)? Email Scoopy Jr. with your comments or suggestions.

Here is our list of nominees...A-list gals who have all played clothing removal specialists on film.

Pamela Anderson in "Barb Wire"
Lolita Davidovich in "Blaze"
Rae Dawn Chong in "Fear City"
Melanie Griffith in "Fear City"
Emmanuelle Seigner in "Le Sourire"
Elizabeth Hurley in "Kill Cruise"
Shannon Tweed in "Dark Dancer"
Jennifer Dale in "Stone Cold Dead"
Elizabeth Shannon in "Dish Dogs"
Jennifer Connelly in "Requiem for a Dream"
Mia Kirshner in "Exotica"
Joan Collins in "Fearless"
Casandra Peterson in "Working Girls"
Mary Steenburgen in "Melvin & Howard"
Meg Tilly in "Dancing at the Blue Iguana"
Daryl Hannah in "Dancing at the Blue Iguana"
Charlotte Ayana in "Dancing at the Blue Iguana"
Sandra Oh in "Dancing at the Blue Iguana"
Lucy Liu in "City of Industry"
Eva Grimaldi in "Inferno"
Valerie Perrine in "Lenny"
Julie Andrews in "Darling Lili"
Sheree North in "Gypsy Moths"
Elke Sommer in "Danielle By Night"
Helena Bonham-Carter in "Dancing Queen"
Brigitte Fonda in "Scandal"
Natalie Portman in "Closer"
Catherine Oxenberg in "Time Served"
Elizabeth Berkely in "Showgirls"
Gina Gershon in "Showgirls"
Demi Moore in "Striptease"
Sally Kirkland in "High Stakes"
Lynn Whitfield in "Josephine Baker Story"
Diane Lane in "Big Town"
Grace Jones in "Vamp"
Penelope Ann Miller in "Carlito's Way"
Charlotte Laurier in "Le Party"
Celine Lomez in "Gina"
Carole Laure in "IXE-13" (tame)
Alberta Watson in"Destiny to Order"
Lindalee Tracey in "Not a Love Story: A Film About Pornography"
Claudia Udy in "American Nightmare"
Lenore Zann in "American Nightmare"
Lora Staley in "American Nightmare"
Christine Chatelain in "Intern Academy"
Cynthia Preston in "Ultimate Weapon"
Linda Rennhofer in "Candy the Stripper"
Rita Moreno in "Marlowe"
Jennifer Dale in "Stone Cold Dead"

• Lara Flynn Boyle is topless while having sex, but James Spader is tweaking her nipples, so we don't get to see everything she has to offer up top.

• Megan Mullally, the busty "Will & Grace" co-star shows some pokies.

• "Magnolia" co-star Melora Walters bares a bit of breast and bum in a few scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Erotic Tales" is a series of short films (about 30 min long) about erotic fantasies. You mave have come across some of these through your travels, but most likely you haven't. Every once in a while Down Under, the local multicultural channel runs a few of these.

Some of them are OK, but most are flat out stupid. Pretty much what you'd expect from arty directors. But at least they have nudity.

Here are two more from Erotic Tales....

• Natalie Worner baring pretty much everything in scenes from "An Elephant Never Forgets". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• Andrea Bloom showing cleavage, thong views and some rear nudity in "Sambolico". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)