By the time you read this, I will be having surgery (Radical Nephrectomy) for a growth on my left kidney (Renal Cell Carcinoma). I expect three to four days in the hospital, a three to four week recovery, and complete cure. Images for a few days are ready and waiting, but there could be some period of time before I am recovered enough to sit at the computer where there will be no Tuna section. Trust me, I would rather be capping even bad films than having my kidney removed. I am sure Scoopy and Jr. will have no problem carrying on without me.

10 to Midnight (1983) is half slasher film, and half Bronson gets even. Someone is slashing young girls, and police Lieutenant Bronson is working the case. Things get more personal for him when his own daughter, a nursing student, becomes a target, stalked by the killer. Bronson tries to frame the killer, but is convinced to tell the truth by an idealistic partner, and is fired. At this point, Bronson starts stalking the killer.

June Gilbert, as the first victim seen, shows all three Bs. Former Heffer Ola Ray, as one of Bronson's daughter's roommates, shows breasts and buns, and, in the 4/3 version, the top of her bush. Patti Tippo shows breasts and bush, as a party coed having sex in a laundry room. Cynthia Reams, as a hooker, shows breasts wearing nothing but panties. Note that there is some confusion about the identity of "The Hooker." Some give credit to Jean Manson, who was also in the film. After comparing Manson's nipples with the ones of our hooker, I decided the hooker was Reams.

IMDB readers have this at 5.3 of 10. With better acting, this story could have been a much better film. Bronson coasted simply trying to look mean, and we say nearly no character development from anyone. The twist of Bronson becoming a stalker was a clever idea, but was wasted here. There was a very high body count, but not too much gore. The nudity was well lit. The DVD has both Widescreen and 4/3 versions, but nothing in the way of special features. The transfer was adequate, but a little grainy. D+

Movies, Theater, and TV:

Formula 51, aka The 51st State, is an attempt to make a big grandiose Tarantino/Richie film with colorful over-the-top gangsters, outrageous plot elements, exaggerated violence, and farcical humor. Despite the presence of Samuel L - my favorite performer - in a role tailor-made for him, and a budget of a gazillion dollars, the film is only fun once in a while, and I was happy to see the closing credits start to roll. Samuel L was entertaining, but not much else worked.

• Emily Mortimer. She certainly has been removing her top a lot lately. (And sometimes her bottom as well, as she did in Lovely and Amazing) (1, 2, 3)

Infested is, following the Robbins Rule (named after Tim Robbins' dialogue in The Player), The Big Chill meets The Swarm. And I'm not kidding even a little bit. I call this movie The Bug Chill. The first 15 minutes are virtually identical to The Big Chill (read the review for the details), then the yuppie angst is replaced by - superintelligent swarms of insects. Very silly stuff. One fourth horror film, one fourth horror film parody, one fourth an homage to Big Chill, the last fourth a parody of the Big Chill. Excellent topless scene, however

• Nahanni Johnstone (1, 2, 3)

Paparazzi:

• Kim Cattrall falls out in public. The Sun labels it "Sex and the Titty"- two very nice pictures
• Jennifer Garner in a black peekaboo - from Celebrity Sleuth 23   (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Brittany Murphy in a black peekaboo - also from Celebrity Sleuth 23   (1, 2)
• Jade Jagger just plain stark naked - also from Celebrity Sleuth 23  (1, 2)

NOTE to PAL:

I can't send mail to you. They all bounce back. Please contact me with another address. (If anyone else knows PAL's address, please get him this message)

Updates:

• Encyclopedia updates: The Lana Clarkson volume is now up to date. Miss Clarkson was found dead on Monday, Feb 3, 2003,  in the home of legendary record producer Phil Spector. Responding to a phone call, police arrested Spector in his home about 5 A.M.. Spector is to be defended by Robert Shapiro, who became famous as O.J. Simpson's lawyer.

  • Ananova story

  • SFGate story

  • Reuters story

  • Yahoo Story

  • Phil Spector says he is probably insane, offers as evidence his relationship with Nancy Sinatra
  • more on Spector
  • more on Lana Clarkson
  • Lana Clarkson bio

• Encyclopedia new volumes: Jacqueline Lovell, Courteney Cox, Nikki Cox, Ava Cadell, Katrin Cartlidge, Cicciolina, Joelle Coeur, Geraldine Chaplin

Mailbox:

Something to look for.  Desperado sent in this note from a reader who wrote in response to his question, "did Jenny Agutter do any nudity after 1981?

"As to nudity after 1981, I know that she was in an episode of Dream On (a GREAT series). The episode was called "No Deposit No Return," and she played a career woman that was trying to get pregnant and wanted the male star of the show to donate the sperm. There was a hot scene where she showed at his office, dropped her panties, and sat on the desk. He wimped out. I am not certain of the year and exactly how much she showed, but it was hot.

 I don't know about this issue, or about the total public demand, but I know that if they released the entire uncensored "Dream On" series on DVD, I would certainly buy it. I don't think I am alone. Plus if I buy it, you all get to see it too, right?

Other crap

• Oh, no. Say it ain't so, Joe. Not Hurley. Liz Hurley pulls a Connelly/Herzigova - loses a bunch of weight, and her boobs almost disappear.
• Charlize Theron will sell soap for $$$, but she ain't gettin' naked for the same price
• Here's your last chance to pick up some reindeer poop earrings for your best girly. I don't know. It looked more like elk poop to me.
• Courtney Love arrested for abusive behavior on an airplane
• the "moral vision" of Spongebob Squarepants. He must be a Texan, right? Billy Bob, meet Sponge Bob.
• wild camels destroy Australian outback
• George Bush's Hotmail account (this is funny!)
• Carmen Electra's Naked Cheer video
• the Sun's impartial journalistic headline: "Jacko: Sick Pervert, or Just Plain Mad". This reminds me of the old National Lampoon articles with titles like "Canada - Threat or Menace?"
• naked protestors of the day
• English pub renamed after hot naked chick, using hot naked pics of her as their logo. Beats the hell out of "The Boar and Falcon"
• URL says it all: http://www.robertgoulet.com/

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Helen Shaver, shows everything in plain view. Scenes from "The Believers" (1987).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

As Scoop mentioned above, the Clarkson volume of the Naked Encyclopedia is now up to date. Here is a small sample of some of here topless career highlight.

• Lana in "Deathstalker" (1984)

• Dark topless scene from "Blind Date" (1984)

• Lana as the lead babe in "Barbarian Queen" (1985) (1, 2, 3)

• Lana taking a bath in scenes from "The Haunting of Morella" (1990). (1, 2)

• More lovely toplessness and a sexy mud rasslin' scene from "Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back" (1992) (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Gettting groped in "Vice Girls" (1996). (1, 2, 3)

The Betsy (1978) should have been the best movie ever made, if you consider the cast. But it wasn't. Not by a long shot. Wasn't the best movie of 1978, wasn't even the best movie of May, 1978, probably wasn't even the best movie released May 10, 1978, since anything else released that day would have been better. Movie's so bad it howls at firetrucks. But it does have three nekkid babes of greater or lesser fame, and that makes it a winner in my book.

Who we got? Well, you know by now, especially since I'm about the 37th person to have capped it.

• Katherine Ross shows one tiny boob as she is supposed to be breast-feeding a baby, but if that's all the kid is gonna get for dinner it's going to bed hungry.

• Lesley-Anne Down shows boobs and partial bum in two sport-humpin' scenes with the U. S. Marshall, himself (Tommy Lee Jones). (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Kathleen Beller, famous for having large hooties and for showing them off a couple of times, shows them off in a full-frontal skinny dip scene and a sport humpin' scene with the Marshall. The skinny dipping scene is another example of Hollywood's odd ethics with voyeurism. Tommy Lee's a-watchin' her every move but because he makes no attempt to hide it all just okey-fine with everybody. Love to hear that defense in court. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Here's the breakdown:

Arm over boobs...Link #1 Partial bum...Links 3 and 5 See-thru breast exosure...Link #7 Inviting, open leg views...Links 4 and 6

LESBIANS COMING OUT AS STRAIGHT AGAIN
Women Can't Make Up Their Minds! - New York magazine columnist Amy Sohn reports that Anne Heche has become a symbol for a new group of women: "Hasbians," or lesbians who have returned to men. Many are women who went to college, fell in with a hip gay crowd, and "came out." Now, they say it was a "phase" they went through and they had to endure "coming out" to their family and friends a second time, this time as straight. These college hasbians are also called "LUGS," as in "Lesbians Until Graduation."