Thursday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6..2.1 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Story of O, the Series (1992 TV series) episode II has O being indoctrinated into the routine at the chateau. It again features lots of nudity from Claudia Cepeda. There are also unidentified actresses exposing everything, which I will cover all at once. This episode was just as slow and dry as the first, although I am beginning to appreciate the characterization of the men, as they seem to have a sadistic streak, whereas the men in the original O seemed more like they were playing at being dominant. I heard from other imagers that they started this series and gave up somewhere in the middle of episode II out of boredom, so I suppose I will get through them all, just so we have it covered and archived. Who knows, it may pick up steam once O is out of the chateau. It is still a C-.

MOVIES:

I am feeling a bit under the weather today. I did look at the last of Tuesday's new releases, but it proved fruitless for nudity.

Two offbeat comedies:

Life Without Dick (new to DVD) is about a hit man who has never killed anyone. He just wanted to get promoted out of the mob's accounting department. Stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Harry Connick Junior

Dead Awake (new to DVD), although straight to video, is a truly odd and compelling black comedy. I don't usually like hipper-than-thou movies, but I really got into this one.

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when I saw Tuna's review of The Big Easy, I went back to re-watch this sexy, atmospheric film about corruption in the New Orleans police force, and I was delighted with the way it screws around with the genre cliches. And I think Ellen Barkin is sexy as hell.

• Barkin (1, 2, 3)

The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

So who do we have for the audience, Johnny? Kristi Ducati, of course.

The end of an era: no more Kristi. The first collage has her being groped and raises the age-old question: is more than a handful a waste? Collages two and three have her dancing around in an automated carwash, four has her rocking and rolling again with some miserable sod who used up all the luck he had coming to him by starring in this movie, and with five we're back in the car wash with two other principals in this cinematic achievement, Sara Suzanne Brown and Neriah Davis.

• Kristi Ducati (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Segue to Neriah Davis. IMDB has her making this movie when she was 19, two years before she either grew some serious carbohooters or visited one of Beverly Hills' 40 thousand plastic surgeons AND then became a monthly Hefmate-type person. In these collages we have Neriah showing off her impressive rumpus and a small but right attractive pair. Collage #2 has Kristi in the near background, taking off her top. The last collage is of Neriah and Sara Suzanne.

• Neriah Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Which brings us to the lovely Ms. Brown. Sara Suzanne Brown was the most successful of the babes to appear in BCC; went on to do several more movies, and I think she did the nekkid routine in them all. She enjoys the most exposure in and around the carwash, so we have ten... count 'em, ten... collages of her in some state of undress. You see her running around topless for just about every reason you can imagine, you get several good looks at her caboose and in one collage you get the view that should have been in Cool Hand Luke but wasn't.

• Sara Suzanne Brown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

So, Kristi, Neriah and Sara all did more movies. But the women with the most movies to there credit were Jennifer Irwin and Landon Hall. Landon's name you probably recognize, although her face and body you may not. A lot of bucks spent on the face and chassis. Jennifer Irwin you may not know, but she made a few dozen movies of the adult variety, under the name of Missy Warner. Missy/Jennifer had an exuberant body.

• Jennifer Irwin

And then we get to the babes who either started and ended their careers in Hollywood right here or made the sequel to BCC, aptly titled Bikini Carwash Company 2, and then disappeared from sight. These include Rikki Brando and Kimberly Bee, both of whom saw reasonable exposure and the almost anonymous Brooke Lynn Page. She said very little if anything in this movie, stood around a lot with a camera and got all topless and stuff in only one verrrry brief scene. Here it is.

• Brooke Lynn Page

• Rikki Brando

• Kimberly Bee (1, 2)

Today's "Babe in Bondage" is Jewell Marceau, who is somewhat of a star in bondage films. Here she is being tormented in the recent bondage flick "Captured". Safe to say about every part of her body is exposed.

• Jewell Marceau (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

• Eva Herzigova, nude pose with almost a fully exposed, side breast view.

• Emma Hemming, extremely see-thru black undies.

• Adriana Lima, mostly clothed, but still excellent rear view.

• Kasia Pisiak, see-thru nipple sighings.

Two stories from IMDB News' new "Methinks They Doth Complain Too Much" Dept...

Michael Douglas: Movie Sex Is Hard

Hollywood star Michael Douglas is famous for steamy movie love making scenes - but the veteran actor confesses film sex is no fun. Douglas has famously peeled off for romps in Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct - but he insists that on screen love scenes are not as raunchy as they look. Of his renowned sexy tussle with Sharon Stone in 1992 flick Basic Instinct, he says, "The 'F*** of the Century' was pretty exhausting. Sex is hard to do in the cinema. Audiences can understand sex so it's more difficult to pull off. Everyone is a judge. It took a long time and we were tired, and we were beat up because the scene had an intensity level the equal of a fight scene or an action scene. It was filmed over five, six days and I was exhausted. We got very sore as a result of being in positions of that might look good but are not easy to hold."

Ben Chaplin's Naked Nightmare With Nicole Kidman

British actor Ben Chaplin hated the nude scenes he had to do with Nicole Kidman for their new movie Birthday Girl - because he just couldn't shake his embarrassment. While many men would do anything to romp naked with the Australian redhead, Chaplin, 31, says playing Kidman's love interest on film was a nerve-wracking nightmare. He explains, "It's truly awful doing these love scenes, because I'm very prone to getting embarrassed. We were just sitting around for days, sort of naked. Between takes, Nicole and I would look at each other and say the most God- awful, stupid things like, 'Can you believe this weather?' 'Do you think they'll serve the good fish for lunch?' It's almost like being in a doctor's office. You can't wait until it's over, even if it is Nicole Kidman across a bed from you."

Also from IMDB News. Buffy is marrying Freddie Prinze Jr. Guess she's never seen any of his movies...

Sarah Michelle Gellar's Wedding To Get Hollywood Direction

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. have asked Hollywood director Adam Shankman to conduct their marriage ceremony later this year. Shankman, who helmed The Wedding Planner, was asked by the couple to officiate at a non-denominational service. Shankman plans to get ordained via an internet site that requires only names and addresses in order to qualify for his proposed duties.

Shankman, a longtime pal of the glamorous duo, says he was at dinner with the happy couple when they shocked him by asking, "Would you like to do the honour of marrying us?" The director says he nearly choked on his food, explaining, "It's a crazy honor."

Here's a story that makes me sorry I don't force myself to listen to PBS more often. From the NY Post...

NPR JOCK SHOCK
By MICHAEL STARR

February 6, 2002 -- THE quiet and high-minded National Public Radio airwaves were shattered earlier this week by a name-calling confrontation between - of all people - tongue-waggling KISS frontman Gene Simmons and soft-spoken interviewer Terry Gross.

Simmons, a guest on Gross's show, "Fresh Air," called her "boring." And Gross called Simmons "obnoxious." No one could remember the kind of dust-up that reminded fans more of the Howard Stern show

"The notion is if you're going to welcome me with open arms you also have to welcome me with open legs," said Simmons, was on the show to promote his new book, "KISS and Make-Up."

"That's a really obnoxious thing to say," Gross fired back. "No, it's not. Why should I say something behind your back that I can't tell you to your face?" said Simmons.

The interview was apparently so controversial that NPR has declined to make it available on its Website where it posts at least portions of nearly all other interviews that appear on "Fresh Air," one of its most popular daily shows.

At one point, Gross asked Simmons about his "studded codpiece." "It holds my manhood, otherwise it would be too much for you to take," Simmons said. "You'd have to put the book down and confront life."

The conversation continued:
Gross: Has it come to this? Is this the only way you can talk to a woman, with that shtick?

Simmons: Let me ask you something - why is it shtick when all women have ever wanted since we crawled out of caves is, `Why can't a man just tell me the truth and speak to me plainly?' So if I do that, you can't have it both ways.

Gross: So you really have no sense of humor about this, do you?

Simmons: I was going to suggest you get outside of the musty place where you can count the dust particles falling around you and get out into the world and see what everybody else is doing.

Gross: Having sex with you?

Simmons: Well, if you choose but you'd have to stand in line.

Gross: OK, well we since you keep bringing this up . . . You write that you've had 4,600 sexual liasions."

Simmons: You're supposed to say `so far.'

Gross: "So far. To you this will be asking the obvious, but why have you wanted so many encounters?"

Simmons: "M-A-N, the notion is plain."

Gross: "I'd like to think the personality you presented on our show today is a persona that you've affected as a member of KISS, but that you're not nearly as obnoxious when you're at home or with friends."

Simmons: "Fair enough, and I'd like to think that the boring lady who's talking to me now is a lot sexier and more interesting than the one's who's doing NPR, studious and reserved."

Gross could not be reached yesterday for comment.

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. (Reuters) - Actress Winona Ryder pleaded innocent on Tuesday to shoplifting and drug possession charges stemming from a December incident at a posh Beverly Hills store.

Ryder, 30, took most of the media by surprise by going to the Beverly Hills Courthouse on Tuesday afternoon for her arraignment, which had been scheduled for Friday.

The "Girl, Interrupted" star, currently free on bail, is charged with felony offenses of grand theft, second-degree commercial burglary, vandalism and possession of a controlled substance. If convicted of all four charges she could be sentenced to three years and eight months in prison.

Ryder, who checked herself into a hospital for depression in 1990, is accused of trying to steal clothes, handbags and hair accessories worth about $4,800 from the Saks Fifth Avenue store in Beverly Hills on Dec. 12.

Police have said that she was arrested after being seen on a store video apparently tearing the security tags off the items and stuffing them into a bag with clothes she had purchased earlier.

The possession charge relates to an unmarked bottle of Oxycodone painkillers for which she allegedly did not have a prescription.

Ryder's lawyer has said the charges are unfounded, the painkillers were prescribed to Ryder and that the entire incident resulted from a "misunderstanding."

The petite dark-haired actress was nominated for a best-supporting actress Oscar for the 1993 film "Age of Innocence" and won a best actress Oscar nomination the following year for "Little Women."