Wild Bill (1995) is a biopic of James Butler "Wild Bill" Hickok which focuses on his declining years and his death. He was bothered by glaucoma, and was not as young and as fast as he had once been, but being a legend in his own time required that he play the role. He is dead in the opening scene, and the entire film is a flashback to the events that led up to his death, which, in turn, are full of flashbacks to introduce key episodes in his life. Costarring is Ellen Barkin as Calamity Jane, who would like to be much more than his good friend.

Barkin shows buns and the side of her breasts getting out of a bath tub. IMDb readers have this at 5.7 of 10, and critical response was lukewarm. I found the constant time switches distracting, and never felt the film built any momentum. It was a credible attempt at presenting the real man, not the legend, but they let the truth interfere with making a good story. This is a C-, good enough, but mainly for genre fans and old west history buffs.

Other Crap:

• Brady has still never lost a post-season game.
• List of Polish secret agents can be found on internet. I don't see the need. You can just look them up in the Warsaw yellow pages under "Agents, Secret".
• The University of Calgary is about to introduce another controversial computer science course in which students will be taught how to write programs that create e-mail spam and spy software. Yeah, we need to have more people who know how to do that. My penis could use another seven or eight feet in length. I'm still a bit behind the blue whale.
• FilmJerk.com's Early Report for February 6, 2005
• Looking for a career change? This could be it.
• XXX: State of the Union - Super Bowl Ad. Ice Cube takes over from Vin Diesel as the designated superspy.
• Batman Begins - Super Bowl ad.
• Constantine - Super Bowl Ad
• Wedding Date, as reviewed by the greatest of all critics, Filthy: "Wedding Date has two saving graces:
  1. it's really fucking short -- I walked in a few minutes late and was walking out 75 minutes later;
  2. and it's not Alone in the Dark."
• Follow-up. Cookie girls won't have to pay fine. I don't know how I feel about that. Since other people bailed them out and they won't have to pay the consequences for their own actions, they may not have learned their lesson. That means they roam the streets, free to do other kind things!
• UC Considers Bar Codes For Cadavers. I love the final sentence of this article. "In 1999, the director of the UC Irvine program was fired after being accused of selling spines to a Phoenix hospital." I wonder how big a market there is for black market spines. Anyway, bar-coding seems like the way to bring it to a halt, unless they can get Bruce Willis to blow away the spine dealers.
• Boogeyman takes the number one spot at the box.
  • Perhaps reflecting a long dry spell with no comparable new movies, The Wedding Date took the #2 spot. despite being on only 1700 screens. It actually took in more per screen than Boogeyman. The experts had predicted it to do much worse.
  • The dreadful Alone in the Dark took in less than a million dollars, despite being on 2124 screens - a paltry $367 per screen for the entire weekend.. Assuming four showings per screen per day, that works out to $30 per showing - four customers!! It dropped an alarming 72% from last week. (Since BOM started tracking this data, the record holder is Gigli with 82%)
  • The middle of the chart is dominated by films with Oscar nominations. most of them with stable screen counts. Hotel Rwanda did pick up 400 more screens, and did fairly well.
• It's official: Dan Marino and Steve Young are in the Hall of Fame.
• Awesome. There will be an NC-17 rated version of Seed of Chucky! Could it be that Team America will NOT get the Oscar for "best puppet fuckin'"?
• The betting odds on The Grammy Awards. You KNOW you're a gambling addict if you bet on the Grammies.
• Woo-hoo! I've been waitin' for this one probably as long as I've been alive. Perhaps longer. The trailer for The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. "The true story of a Bohemian and his remarkable relationship with a flock of wild green-and-red parrots."
• The trailer for Uncle Nino. An elderly Italian peasant, Uncle Nino, comes to America for the first time to spend some time with his nephew's family.
• Six clips from Constantine

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

"Non commettere atti impuri"  (1971) - continued

Scoop's notes:

1. I made the .wmv versions of each of the ICMS videos. (He makes the .avis, of course.) The latest codecs for these: Windows Video V9, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The advantages of these are (1) that they are compatible with any up-to-date windows OS, and (2) the file sizes are economical. The downside is that the quality is inferior to the originals.

2. There is no point number two.

3. If you have trouble with the .avi videos on this site, there is a tool designed to determine which codec is needed for any video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/

4. Because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there. I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows us to carry film clips. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

I wanted to revisit a poll we did a few years back to see how or if things have changed. So on that note...

This week's poll:

Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

Please Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

"Valentine" (2001)
Despite its title this is a slasher with alot more blood than skin. The only nudity was by some video models at an art exhibit.

• Denise Richards: very sexy in hot tub.
• Marley Shelton: nice cleavage.
• Jessica Capshaw: cleavage by Kate's daughter.
• Jessica Cauffiel: pokies.
• Katherine Heigl: cleavage.
• Karina Carreck: open blouse.
• Various: collage of topless stills. Credited models are Basia Antos, Carla Boudreau and Vanessa Volker.

"The Guilty" (2000)
Thriller about a comely secretary (Gabrielle Anwar) who gets drugged and date raped by a lawyer. The only nudity was by Gabrielle's body double.

• Gabrielle Anwar: very sexy.
• Fiona Scott: stunt boobs and butt.
• Joanne Whalley: cleavage.

"Samurai Cowboy" (1993)
Catherine Mary Stewart has a nice skinnidipping scene.

• Catherine Mary Stewart: not showing but nice shot in brassiere.

"Detroit Rock City" (1999)
Kristin Booth plays a bra-less cashier in this stoner comedy. Catch her later in season 2 of Show Me Yours.

• Kristin Booth: nice pokies.

"Losing Control"
Starting with some soft core, we have Losing Control. There was probably a story line but that's not why you watch it. A more explicit version of the movie is no doubt available but the best we see is lots of breasts by Kira Reed, Jennifer Ludlow and an unknown.

• Kira Reed (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
• Jennifer Ludlow
• Unknown

"There was a Crooked Man"
There are topless shots of Pamela Hensley and Jeanne Cooper with lots of cleavage by Barbara Rhoades and some unknowns.

• Pamela Hensley
• Jeanne Cooper
• Barbara Rhoades
• Unknowns

"Manhood"
An excellent upskirt by Skylar Shaye, with nice caps of Lauren Tom and Traci Lords, who makes a one minute cameo.

• Skylar Shaye
• Lauren Tom
• Traci Lords

"Streets of Fire"
A brief view of a topless dancer in Streets of Fire.

• Topless Dancer

"The Young Americans"
A couple of nice caps of Thandie Newton in The Young Americans.

• Thandie Newton

"Takedown"
Nicole Arnold is a topless dancer in Takedown and Angela Featherstone is down to her underwear.

• Nicole Arnold
• Angela Featherstone (1, 2)

"Angie"
Geena Davis appears to be topless in Angie but it could be a prosthetic.

• Geena Davis (1, 2, 3, 4)