Wednesday

The Warrior Class

 

The underlying structural basis of this film is a dry legal procedural. Our hero is a young lawyer who's so green that he's never questioned a witness before. He has a remarkable success in his first try, however, so he gets assigned to a big-league case, a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against a major corporation in which he will be on the corporation's defense team. The case itself doesn't involve all that much drama. In fact, the major legal issue hinges on a technical point of law, whether a key employee was dishonest or incompetent. If he was dishonest, the corporation itself was the victim, and is not liable. If he was incompetent, the corporation is legally liable and loses the case. Yawn. Argumentation about technicalities have never made for a great spectator sport. I was on the debate team in high school and college, and I noticed that we never had any cheerleaders at our tournaments.

In order to give the case a bit of color, the writer/director made the defense team's key witness a junkie, and therefore unstable, undependable, and in need of constant supervision. You're still bored? Well, then, the young defense attorney falls in love with her and, oh yeah, she's also the estranged wife of the world's biggest crime boss, who doesn't want her to testify. Talk about stretching the concept of "economy of characters." If she had also been the opposing attorney they could have done a two-character play like Sleuth.

I suppose the author thought the material was still too colorless, so he added some bizarre background elements like a yard full of glow-in-the dark swordfish carcasses. He also made the corporation's CEO an ex-general who wears an eyepatch and wields a samurai sword in his office. When the general first sees how young his attorney is, he says "welcome to the warrior class" and gives the lad his own super-sharp sword. Considering the principle of scriptwriting economy, I'll bet you can guess how the mob boss will meet his death.

By attempting to gussy up a too-dry legal case, the author went overboard and made the whole thing just too darned silly. If you're going to do this kind of thing you have to go all the way and take it over-the-top, ala Luc Besson, but this film held back from that commitment and ended up like the Oxygen Network's concept of a Tarantino film, with the best-scrubbed and best-behaved junkies, hookers, and mobsters ever seen.

The film was lensed three years ago, and the investors pinned their hopes for a theatrical release on the possible emergent stardom of the lead, Anson Mount, who is a very handsome guy and very likeable on camera. Mount's star status never arrived, so the film languished in limbo until finally going straight to DVD, which is the fate it deserved based on its merit.

Erica Leerhsen. She kept herself as completely covered as possible. In one of her nude scenes she seemed to be wearing tape over her tiny breasts. In the other she kept her hands on her breasts at all times! Her bum is seen clearly but all in all the nudity is not very satisfying.

 

Hollywoodland

 

I've already written about this at length. It's the film in which Ben Affleck plays George Reeves, TV's Superman. The short version of the review is this:

* The basic plot about Reeves is excellent. Early TV was fascinatingly primitive; old Hollywood was intriguing; Reeves was a charming guy; and Affleck portrayed him remarkably well.

* Unfortunately, the filmmakers chose, for some incalculable reason, to devote as much screen time to the private eye who was investigating the Reeves case, who was a boring sleazebag, and was a completely fictional character in whom I had no interest.

So it's half a good movie.

Diane Lane. I guess that's probably Diane because ... well, why try to blur a body double? She still has a great body to flash, and we know she's not shy, but - fair warning - it could also be a body double.

 

 


 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vibrator

Vibrator (2003) is a Japanese character piece with English subtitles. The film has essentially two characters and takes place mostly in the cab of a long haul truck.

For those who are still with me ...

As the film opens, a freelance writer is in a convenience store buying wine and gin, and no food. We later learn that she is both bulimic and an alcoholic who needs booze to quiet the troubling voices in her head. She sees trucker Nao Ohmon, and is attracted. She follows him, and ends up spending the night with him in his cab. In the morning, she asks to go with him and he agrees. The film essentially consists of their conversations, and her thoughts. He is tolerant of her disorders, and seems to intuitively understand her. She is fascinated by his colorful life story and by his livelihood, including the all-important CB radio, good buddy-san. As a backdrop to their relationship and the character arcs, there is also a lovely wintertime portrait of Japanese life outside of Tokyo.

This one is only for the small audience which seeks unusual art house fare, but if you are within that group, give this one a try. It does what it does about as well as it can. The film won a total of 21 awards, including 10 best actress awards for Terajima. On our system it can't be more than a C+ because there is no crossover appeal. Those who hate subtitles won't make the effort for this film, nor will those who demand action and pace.

IMDb readers say 6.8

 

Shinobu Terajima shows breasts in a sex scene in the truck; then breasts and buns in a bath in a motel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Killer Bash

 

Killer Bash (2005) is a skinless Jeckyll-and-Hyde horror with one-timer Raquel Riskin as Becky Jeckyl and a bunch of male jocks in wet shorts. Now a lesbian Jeckyll-and-Hyde would have been a better angle as it worked wonders for the vampire genre.
Raquel Riskin Tara Wilson Alicia Jones

Lindsay Maxwell  

Lisa Caruk

 

The Tooth Fairy

 

"The Tooth Fairy" (2006) is a direct-to-video horror with a woodchipper scene straight out of Fargo. Carrie Fleming shows some boob while Chandra West looks fantastic in a tight t-shirt.

(See a film clip of Fleming in yesterday's Fun House.)

Carrie Fleming Chandra West

 

The Wrong Guy

"The Wrong Guy" (1997). Jennifer Tilly is in a see-trhough nightie while Carmelina Lamanna is a stripper wearing pasties.
Jennifer Tilly Carmelina Lamanna

 

Thrillkill

"Thrillkill" (1986) is a dated computer thriller unwisely based on a video game that was never released. Gina Massey is shown in her skivvies.

Gina Massey

 

Dead Wrong

 

"Dead Wrong" (1983). One-timer Christine Geiger is topless while Margot Kidder's sister Annie Kidder has some fully clothed sex.
Christine Geiger Annie Kidder

 

"Neon Rider"

 

"Neon Rider" - pilot episode "Dude." As with many other first episodes this has a bit of skin to snag in the viewers. Shelagh McLeod flashes partial boob and butt while Janne Mortil is very sexy.
Shelagh McLeod Janne Mortil

 

"Lonesome Dove"

"Lonesome Dove: The Series" - episode "High Lonesome." Terri Hawkes almost falls out of her dress as a saloon girl.

Terri Hawkes

 

"Night Heat"

Another trip in the wayback machine. Kelly Rowan, in one of her first acting appearances, is nearly falling out of her nightie in a 1986 episode of "Night Heat."
Kelly Rowan

 

 

 

 

 


Age of Consent

Today the Time Machine, with the help of Scoopy's film clips from yesterday, goes back to 1969 for a very young and sexy Helen Mirren in "Age of Consent."

You would have to say she was hot.

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Ladies of Sci-fi/Fantasy

Not of this Earth

... when Ms. Traci Lords left her porn career to do mainstream films, she was kind enough to do this one last display of nudity...

 

 

 

 

 

See No Evil

A solid B-movie horror flick with a good story and competent acting, and co-produced by World Wrestling Entertainment, 2006's See No Evil stars WWE wrestler Kane as a psychotic killer who has been on the run for years. His trademark is that he gouges out the eyes of his victims before killing them.

A group of youthful offenders from the county detention facility are sent on work release to an old abandoned hotel to renovate it for use as a homeless shelter. What they don't know is that the hotel already has a very sinister occupant.

What happens next is pretty predictable, as the group gets picked off one-by-one, but the production is good and the movie stays enjoyable throughout, if you're a horror fan. A very worthwhile effort, with a real funny final scene after the credits start to roll.

Samantha Nobel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 2007 Goya Awards

Part 4: La noche de los girasoles

Español

El argumento de 'La Noche de los Girasoles' se desencadena a raíz de un intento de violación de la pareja sentimental de un espeleólogo, el cual junto con un compañero está explorando una cueva encontrada en las proximidades de un pueblo perdido de la mano de Dios, en el que el alcalde sueña con el turismo que traería al pueblo un descubrimiento importante. El mencionado suceso dará lugar a una serie de acontecimientos, marcados por el azar, a cada cual más dramático y que marcará para siempre a sus protagonistas.

Aunque no ha ganado ningún Goya si que ha sido nominada a:

  • Mejor Director Novel: Jorge Sánchez Cabezudo
  • Mejor Actor Revelación
  • Mejor Guión Original


Bajo mi punto de vista, esta película se merecía mayor presencia en estos premios porque en cuanto a calidad es muy superior a la media del cine español de los últimos años. Una mezcla de thriller y drama rural que se erige como una película inteligente, con muy pocos fallos, y que consigue atraparte desde el principio hasta el final con la peculiar manera con la que se cruzan las historias de los personajes.
 

English

The conflict in “The Night of the Sunflowers" is triggered by a rape in an isolated wooded spot as the victim awaits the arrival of her husband, who is in the area to investigate the discovery of a new cave. The husband then goes after the rapist, who has been misidentified by the hysterical wife.

This film won no Goyas, but was nominated for

  • Best New Director
  • Best New Actor
  • Best Original Screenplay

From my point of view, this film deserved a far greater presence in these prizes because it is far beyond the norm for Spanish cinema in recent years. It's a mixture of thriller and rural drama that is elevated by a top script into an intelligent film with very few failings.

Scoop's note: Variety agrees completely with Flauti and absolutely gushed over this film. 

Amelia Hornero

 

 

 

Judith Diakhate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         
   

 

Scorpion came up with VHS caps of two classics which have been disappointing on DVD

Every single DVD version of Cat Chaser has censored the Kelly McGillis spread shot, but Scorp's old video tape has the full, uncensored version.
Maryam D'Abo makes her very nude debut in Xtro. This one also has less nudity in the DVD because the pubic exposure was lost in the widescreen transfer. The full screen video shows the entire 35mm frame, and therefore the fuller monty.

 

 
   
         

 

 

 

 

 

Images

It's Shauna O'Brien day. DeadLamb did VHS caps from six of her Erotic films which have not reached DVD.

First: The Big Turn-On

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Shauna O'Brien in Erotic Possessions
Shauna O'Brien in The Mistress Club
Shauna O'Brien in The Perfect Man
Shauna O'Brien in The Seductress  
Shauna O'Brien in Sweet Revenge
Serena Williams in a bikini
Leelee Sobieski. She has always been troubled with weight fluctuations. Lately she has managed to stay slim, except for her cleavage, which now rivals Salma Hayek's.

 

Videos

Emmanuelle Escourrou in Baby Blood

Tanya Roberts in Fingers. The good news: a new look at Tanya pulling off her bikini bottom to have sex in a ladies' room. The bad news: can't really see any naughty bits.