Other Crap:

• Celebrity mug shots: Andre the Giant. I miss ol' Andre. Even thought he was my main man, somehow I have never managed to see the classic movie, My Dinner with Andre the Giant, which is rated a sterling 1.7 at IMDb.
• Female stars and their heights. Catalina Moreno (far right) is 5'5". Based on that, how tall do you figure Imelda Staunton is (center)? Her official height is 5'0", but maybe that is her height in four inch heels.
• Elizabeth Hurley in a Harry Potter film? Well, that should get him waving his wand.
• Oh, no! The Jeopardy nerd gets another 15 minutes of fame.
• Here is the international trailer for Kingdom of Heaven. "'Kingdom of Heaven' is an epic adventure about a common man (Orlando Bloom) who finds himself thrust into a decades-long war. A stranger in a strange land, he serves a doomed king, falls in love with an exotic and forbidden queen, and rises to knighthood. Ultimately, he must protect the people of Jerusalem from overwhelming forces while striving to keep a fragile peace. From Ridley Scott, the master of the modern epic."
• And now, a phone line to the dear departed.
• The Trailer for Fighting Tommy Riley
  • Lonely and in poor health, trainer Marty Goldberg has been stuck working on the fringes of the professional circuit far too long. Searching for a way out, he discovers Tommy, a young man with raw talent to burn. Outside the ring however, Tommy displays a self-destructive streak that could end his career before it begins. As the two men begin to work together, they find it's not just Tommy's volatile tendencies that threaten their relationship, but also Marty’s painful past. Boasting some extraordinary performances that are by turns devastatingly poignant and vigorously uplifting, this debut feature by Eddie O'Flaherty is a powerful look at the world of men, both in and outside the ring.
• This is funny! Reminds me of the old National Lampoon, back in the day. Iowahawk's TV Classics: "Chutch"
  • Based on the rugged hippie anti-hero Jan-Peter Bronston portrayed in a skein of popular low budget drive-in biker films, Chutch battled against injustice and The Man with a lethal arsenal of martial arts, mystic dialog, dirt bikes and his faithful mountain lion, Zapata. The show's unique combination of serious social commentary, folk music and violent desert dirtbike action sparked a brief but intense popularity among young viewers, spawning the memorable catch phrase "you heap big dead, paleface" -- uttered by Chutch whenever a villain questioned his Native American bona fides.
• Automatic Brad Pitt consolation letter.. "Brad Pitt is very sad right now and needs the support of his fans while he goes through his difficult and very public breakup with Jennifer Aniston. We have tried to help with our own consolation letter generator."
• The Cop Without a Clue...: "A Swedish police officer has confessed he robbed a bank and later investigated the crime himself, telling reporters the police had no clues. An hour after the crime the police officer returned to the bank as a leading police investigator handling the case!"
• Former Playmate Jennifer Walcott has a mini-wardrobe malfunction at a Super Bowl party. (Center)
• Eva Mendes will join the Ghost Rider cast. Nicolas Cage plays the title role in the Columbia Pictures comic book adaptation, with Wes Bentley playing baddie Blackheart.
• Bringing the Western ways to Iraq - one step at a time. A female National Guard M.P. was demoted for indecent exposure after a mud-wrestling party in Iraq.
• The Three Stooges Official Website: "Listen to and download some of the most classic Three Stooges sound bytes. There's even a collection of songs recorded by The Three Stooges themselves!"
• Ang Lee directs BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger as two gay ranchers.
• The Super Bowl spot for Robots (And other spots)
• Elisha Cuthbert will star in The Itty Bitty Titty Committee opposite Camilla Bell, Martin Donovan and Edie Falco. Will the title survive?
• "Oh, you are so divorced, divorced, divorced." A budding cyber-romance between a Jordanian man and woman turned into an ugly public divorce when the couple met - and found out that they were already man and wife.
• John Cusack and Morgan Freeman will star in a Bruce Beresford thriller, The Contract
• The backlash over 'Million Dollar Baby'. (Major spoilers: gives away the entire plot of the film, including the surprise ending.)
• Nicole Richie has six pet rats named after the cast of 90210, and gave "Tori Spelling" to Paris Hilton for Christmas.
• Historical mystery solved - how did Goering get a suicide pill?
• If you use a Mozilla-based browser, here's a major security flaw you need to deal with.
• Call on Me Video With Smokin' Hot Chicks: "Eric Prydz remade the song Call On Me. Here is an excellent video kinda spoofing the 80s. The girls are smokin' hot "
• If two trains leave Chicago Amsterdam ... Could you pass a Dutch immigration test? They have some tougher questions than the GRE's.
  • How many wheels on a car? (This is a real question)
  • Is it OK for women to sunbathe without their tops and their wooden shoes?
  • Can gay people marry? Is it polite to send tulips?
• FOX pulls a 51% share on Sunday night. "The WB could have aired pure static" and it would not have caused any significant loss, since it pulled only 1%.
• Weekly World News: "In a major sign that President Bush believes he has a huge mandate from his reelection, he's changing his name to 'God.' "
  • "He told me, 'Whenever Democrats raise objections to my plan to privatize Social Security, I'll just point to our currency where it says 'In God We Trust' and say, 'See? It says In ME we trust.' And when protesters insist I should be impeached for lying about the war in Iraq, I'll remind them that the Pledge of Allegiance says that the U.S. is 'one nation, under ME.'"
• Deep Throat is near to death - and Woodward and Bradlee will tell all after he dies.
• "Somebody's gotta go back 'n get a shitload o' beads."
• Here is the Bud Light ad which was banned from the Super Bowl.
• Go Daddy 2005 Super Bowl Ad - See the original uncensored version of the commercial.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Close Shave - Geraldo was so convinced of Michael's innocence, he declared that if Michael is convicted, he'll shave off his mustache.

WOMAN ARRESTED FOR GIVING TODDLER A HUSTLER
World's Best Mom! - Marisa Nicole Sivesind of Bakersfield, California, was arrested after her landlord saw a Hustler centerfold on the bedroom wall of her two-year-old son and one-year-old daughter. She allegedly told a deputy that the boy asked her to buy the porn magazine when they were in a liquor store and demanded she put up the poster on his wall, and she did it to keep him from calling her vulgar names.

LOVE IS A MENTAL DISEASE
You Are Always On My Mind - Just in time for Valentine's Day, The Psychologist magazine reports that doctors now believe falling in love is a potentially fatal disease. London psychologist Frank Tallis said many symptoms of lovesickness can be explained in clinical terms: elevated mood and inflated self-esteem are signs of mania; tearfulness and insomnia are depression symptoms; constantly checking your e-mail is an aspect of obsessive compulsive disorder; and a broken heart can make people suicidal. He said it's time doctors take lovesickness seriously as a diagnosis and treat it like any other complaint.