Easy Sex (2002):

Aka Mustang Sally and Easy Six.

SPOILERS

An odd little film. An unfulfilled English professor in a third-rate college (Princeton of Florida) will attend a Milton conference over the Christmas break. The conference is to be held in Vegas, because where else would you hold a discussion of serious literature? The professor's best friend, an athletic coach, has asked the lecturer to look up his estranged daughter while he's there.  After all, the professor was her favorite teacher.

He finds the girl, all right. In the novel she was working at the notorious Mustang Ranch (and her name is Sally, hence the title). The film has changed the name of the brothel, but the idea stays the same. She's a legal professional hooker. The professor is basically a man of scruples, and doesn't know how he will break the news to Sally's father. After a few successes at the tables and a few drinks, his moral code becomes considerably less rigid and he takes a car out to the ranch to have sex with the girl who is not only his former student but also his best friend's daughter. He not only has sex with her, but ends up falling for her, and they shack up for a couple of cozy nights.

Sally decides to call her dad and to come home for Christmas. That turns out to be a disaster because dad finds out about the affair, and the professor finds out that the daughter doesn't love him. The bottom line is that the professor is without a job, a girlfriend, or a best friend. That's only the beginning of his woes. The father becomes obsessed with the idea that the professor is the one who turned his sweet innocent daughter to prostitution in the first place. The old boy takes to heavy drinking while watching home movies of his happy daughter as a young girl. He gets so worked up that he buys a gun and decides to get some revenge.

The film was coherent up to that point, albeit with some strange and abrupt tone-shifts from comedy to tragedy, but the script sort of deteriorated at the end. The professor and the daughter ended up back in Vegas getting married by an Elvis impersonator. The father traveled to Vegas to kill the professor, but it turned out that he could only buy a pellet gun ("I can still put your eye out.") He causes enough of a scene to attract a Vegas cop, gets into a wrestling match with him, and ends up wandering around the strip brandishing a real police-issue gun. Well, it turns out that the Elvis impersonator is a Vietnam war hero. In fact he is John Rambo, master sniper, the very guy played in the movies by Stallone. Ol' Elvis/Rambo has finally had enough of the demented whining from the pussy father, so he simply takes out a high-powered rifle and blows the old fella away.

Hey, I told you it was an odd film.

You might call this a comedy, and there is a lot of silliness in it, especially from Jim Belushi as Elvis/Rambo, but if it is a comedy it is a very dark one, verging on Stygian blackness.

When the film ended, I was still unclear on a lot of points. For example:

• What was the strange enmity between father and daughter, and how did it get started? We can guess that it was some kind of incest, but a lot of the character motivation in the film hinges on knowing how this began, and how bad it is. Without  knowing those things, some of the the daughter's actions don't make sense.
• When the father caught up with them, the professor and the daughter were headed to the Vegas airport to catch a plane for their honeymoon in Hawaii. After the father is killed by Elvis/Rambo, we see them getting in separate cars and going separate ways. Why did they change their minds about spending a life together? I just didn't get it. (If I remember right, they were still together at the end of the novel.)
• Why were the father and the professor friends in the first place? These two men seemed to have absolutely nothing in common.

The film's auteur (Chris Iovenko) acted as editor in addition to writer and director, and had never performed any of those functions in a feature-length film before. That shows, especially in the clarity of the script. It's not a good enough film to recommend, but it has enough interesting elements to convince me that Iovenko should stay with this career.

Katharine Towne

 

Miscellaneous

Here's one more of Ms Katharine Towne, this time as captured by Herr Haut in Sol Goode

There isn't any real nudity in this "nude" picture of Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette, but I think she looks fabulous.

Here are several zipped .wmv's of Lauren Lee Smith in Lie With Me (Not mine. I created them from .avis which were too large to be practical) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Other Crap:

The Smoking Gun: "Florida cop used dashboard cam to film women's butts, cleavage "

 

Some cool aerial photographs of Mexico City

 

Some beautiful photographs of China

 

Who would have expected to read this headline again? "Barry Manilow Tops US Chart"

• And, yes, you wiseacres, it is a music chart and it is in February 2006

 

Conan O'Brien's latest set of "quotables"

• Earlier today, Judge Samuel Alito was confirmed as the United States 110th Supreme Court Justice. President Bush congratulated Alito and said he hopes he gets along with the other 109 judges.
• According to the Washington Post, one of Presidents Bush's biggest pet peeves is when a cell phone rings during a meeting. Apparently, his second biggest pet peeve is when his Pez dispenser gets jammed.
• Paris Hilton is reportedly upset because her private diaries have been stolen. Police say the suspect must have had access to her bedroom; so, it could be anyone.

 

Two trailers from Sir! No Sir!

• ... a documentary about the anti-Vietnam movement which soprung up within the ranks of the U.S. military itself. "Even though it profoundly impacted American society, it rarely appears in historical accounts."

 

The official trailer for Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

 

 

Daily Show: This Week in God. (Voodoo)

 

 

The Daily Show's Jason Jones notes that the Danish cartoonist community has always courted controversy.

 

 

Daily Show: Helms - Looney Toons

• Senior Middle East Correspondent Ed Helms files his report...in disguise.

 

Woman Does 'Mouth-To-Beak' to Save Chicken, then celebrates her success with some mouth-watering KFC.

 

Seething Midwest Explodes Over Lombardi Cartoons

The home page of The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

• My new musical heroes. I can't believe I'm being unfaithful to The Dan Band.

 

The National Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain ... this is surprisingly hip

Refuting racism: putting an end to the belief that Swiss people are slow

Three Things I Like, with George Clooney - from CRACKED magazine. That still exists?

Here is the trailer for Idlewild, which you might call the black Moulin Rouge, a new-wave musical about the Adrican-American music scene in the 1930s.

The mystery of author 'JT LeRoy' unravels

• "The writer penning the novels of JT LeRoy, a purported 25-year-old former male prostitute and drug addict, has been unmasked as a 40-year-old woman who allegedly undertook the ruse to get her work recognized."
• One title written by LeRoy: "The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things."

Swedes say 'no' to racy bra ads on buses

• "An ad campaign for a new line of bras has been banned from Stockholm's transport network. It wasn't the photos of scantily clad women in Lindex's ad campaign that were objectionable, it was the slogan 'We love boobs!"

Daily Show: Headlines - Mohammad Mo' Problems

• After dallying on the swing set, protesters burned the Danish and Norwegian missions in Damascus.

A clip from the DaVinci code

"U.S. OFFERS TO RELOCATE INSURGENTS TO IRAN ... Keep Doing What You're Doing Next Door, Rumsfeld Says"

A new fashion: The Eye Jewel

President Bush's Private Congratulations Message to Newly Confirmed U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

The first six violent minutes of Running Scared, a new gangster flick.

Exclusive: Can the President Order a Killing on U.S. Soil?

Fox Cancels Cartoon Series About Mohammed

The New Village People Promote Good Old Fashioned Conservative Values

World Cringes in Fear of Danish Response

• "The Danish response is expected to be swift and bloody. But first, many thousands of longboats have to be carved..."

George Bush reveals new terror threat - Balrogs

• Have we already defeated the human/animal hybrids?

Letterman: "Top Ten Slogans For That New Sex Soda"

• "Soft" drink? I don't think so...
  
• Get it in the can

The High-def trailer for Marie Antoinette, starring Kirsten Dunst, directed by Sofia Coppola

• The trailer includes a strategic nude scene from Kirsten Dunst - not very revealing, but very sexy, indeed.

WITH SWEEPS UNDERWAY, NETWORKS ASK RUNAWAY BRIDE TO RUN AWAY AGAIN ... Ratings-hungry News Nets Make $1 Million Offer to Wilbanks

Stephen Colbert's latest "Threatdown"

Colbert reports on the State of the Union address

• "Any poet will tell you, words like President Bush's are the sugar-spun stuff of dreams."

Stephen Colbert discusses his Newsweek article

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Caught by the paparazzi. 

Most of these gals require no introduction.  Perhaps the only  two who are not household names are Giorgia Palmas and Tamara Beckwith.  Giorgia was Miss Italy in the 2005 Miss World contest.  Came in second.  Gotta see who won the shee-bang. 

Tamara Beckwith will win no beauty contests, is British and appears to do nothing, so I am guessing
she must be a distant part of the royal family. 

About the others...

Amanda Bynes looks great while sporting a pair of puffy pokies. 

Cindy Margolis is the latest Lingerie Bowl, where at least the referees have an excuse or two for missing a great game.

Dannii Minogue looks better and better with each passing year.

Mira Sorvino may have fallen off the Hollywood A list but she still looks mighty fine.

So does Shakira.

Vanessa Marcil, in something that looks like it should be see-through but just isn't.  Sigh. 

Sure is nice to see something of Josie Maran again. She looks kinda nice...which is much like saying Manute Bol was kinda tall.   

And Pamela Anderson.  Poor, poor Pamela.  She was once a natural beauty.  But now?  Grotesque.  And so sad. 

Speaking of sad...Katie Price...the younger Pamela with a British accent. 

The annual "Hollywood"  issue of Vanity Fair is out today, and as usual, it has a newsmaking cover.  It features hot young actresses Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly nude, their skin looking eerily pale, posing with male fashion designer Tom Ford.  Inside is a nude photo of Angelina Jolie in a bathtub, plus a fully-clothed George Clooney and other stars.  Ford was a last-minute substitute when rising actress Rachel McAdams reportedly stormed out of the photo shoot, furious to discover that all the actresses were expected to pose naked.  Ford downplayed the controversy, saying that McAdams "did want to do it," but just got cold feet on the set.

*  You can tell the other girls were cold, too, and not just their feet.

*  The most honored Hollywood movie of the year is "Brokeback Mountain," and they can't think of a reason for any of the men to get naked together?

*  Angelina looks like she's wearing clothes, but that's just all the tattoos.

*  It's the cleanest Angelina's ever looked.