Rambling Rose (1991) stars Laura Dern as a troubled young girl in 1935 who comes to live with a genteel family and help watch kids and assist with the housework. The father, Robert Duvall, and the oldest son (who is in the throws of puberty) notice immediately that Rose radiates charm, cheerfulness and sex appeal. When Daddy (Duvall) comments "Rosebud, I swear to God you are as graceful as a capital letter `S.' You'll give a glow and a shine to these old walls," she falls instantly in love with him. The first time the mother, Diane Ladd, leaves for the evening, Rose throws herself at Daddy. After fondling her bare breast, he has the sense to stop himself, which makes him all the more moral to the three children who have been spying on them. Later that night, Rose visits The oldest son, Buddy (Lukas Haas) in his bed, hoping to get some of the guilt off her chest. It is her chest that interests Buddy as well, and he not only gets to first base with her, but gets her off with his hand as well. Here is where we learn that Rose can't say no.

Daddy sees what a threat Rose is to the happiness of his family, and is not sure how long he can resist her. He would like nothing more than to fire her, but the rest of the family, especially his wife, will not hear of it. When Rose decides to look outside the family for the "man of her dreams," her promiscuity causes still more trouble for the family and strengthens Daddy's resolve to fire her. This pretty much sets up the conflict that drives this wonderful character driven drama. I highly recommend it, and don't want to give away the entire plot. I am not alone in liking it. Maltin and Ebert both say 3 stars, Apollo says 80, Apollo readers say 81, and IMDB readers say 6.8/10. US gross was $6.266m. I don't know what the budget was, but director Coolidge mentions frequently that budget constraints affected artistic decisions.

Director Martha Coolidge (Valley Girls, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, etc) did an amazing job with the screenplay adapted by Calder Willingham from his own autobiographical novel. She also provides one of the better commentary tracks I have heard on the DVD. Young Lukas Haas as Buddy showed acting ability far beyond his years. Robert Duvall was perfect in the roll of Daddy, and Diane Ladd was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of a very complex character. Dern was nominated for Best Actress, which marks the first time a real-life mother and daughter have been nominated for Oscars in the same film. This is my choice for Dern's finest performance. I doubt that any man could watch her as Rose and not be completely captivated by the character. She shows clear breasts in two scenes, pokies and breast see-throughs in others, and wears the hell out of a nearly transparent dress walking through main street looking for "the man of her dreams." See image 16 for my favorite of the see-throughs. You have to stare, much like you would if you were really there, but it is well worth the effort.

The DVD is marvelous, with deleted scenes, biographies, trailer, full length commentary, and an alternate ending. The film is visually appealing, and the DVD transfer is credible. Director Coolidge clearly understands cinemaphotography, and worked closely with DP Johnny E. Jensen and Art Director Christiaan Wagener and set decorator Robert Gould to produce the look and feel. Elmer Bernstein provided a suitably subtle score, and an early Louis Armstrong recording of Dixieland was used as a sort of theme song. Unable to find a suitable master of the Armstrong recording, they carefully remastered the only 78 recording they could find. This attention to detail is one of the reasons Coolidge succeeded so well with Rambling Rose.

• Savannah Smith (1, 2)
• Unknown

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Once again, I looked at Red Letters, this time the DVD version. After listening to the commentary, I still don't know the name of the woman in the opening scene, but I did find a couple frames with Nastassia Kinski nipples. If only she had some breasts to put them on. This may get the award for the best movie with Pauly Shore, although that is kind of like saying that I was once the best baseball player in Norway. I mean I was the Fjord Flash, the Sultan of Svalbard, the Slammin' Sildekongen (King of Herring). Unfortunately, it was only because I was the only guy in the country who owned a mitt and could throw overhand.

• Nastassia Kinski (1, 2)
• Opening scene (1, 2)
• Fairuza Balk (non-nude)

I looked at Progeny. Plenty of nudity from one of my faves, Jillian McWhirter. Good nudity, good acting, great features on the DVD. You regulars know that I really like Jillian, and she even shows off the Cavern of Earthly Delights in this flick. Only one problem - movie sucks. I mean really stinks. Charlie Sheen would turn down this script. (Seriously, Wilford Brimley did not turn it down, a rare circumstance for material unrelated to oatmeal. )

• Jillian (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Tomcat did Gwyneth in Great Expectations. "Teaser" nudity. She's naked, but manages to keep all the goodies obscured.

• Gwyneth (1, 2, 3)

Celebrity Sleuth put out a tremendous issue this month, in that it includes almost all new material to my eyes, and consists almost entirely of full frontals including gyno shots. I know some of you guys are only interested in the young hot ones like Katie and Kiki, but if you have any interest at all in the women below, you need to get this edition, because I could have spent my week scanning the stuff in there. The sampler below represents something like 5-10% of the new frontals in the magazine, and there is also lots of naughty talk from the women discussing their caves of the eighth happiness, ala "The Vagina Monologues".

Brenda Venus, model and author. OK, Secrets of Seduction isn't likely to be mistaken for an Anthony Burgess book, but it is a book. She became famous back in the 80's when Tropic of Cancer's Henry Miller published a book of letters to her. Find her at www.brendavenus.com.

Devin DeVasquez (1, 2) - was the mensual playindividual in June of 1985. She has not posed naked in 15 years, and says that these are her first full-frontal nudes in print, so this is quite a scoop for Sleuth. She is 37, still dazzling. Find her at www.devindevasquez.com.

Yvonne Mecialis - www.mecialis.com - painter and model

Mamie VanDoren - I presume you know who she is. Still flashing, although in her 70's. www.mamievandoren.com

Shalom Harlow - half of MTV's former modeling/hosting team of Shalom and Amber

Cindy Crawford - if you don't know who she is, you probably were looking for scooby.net, not scoopy. Those meddling kids!

DeDe Lind. Classic playindividual from August, 1967, still flashing the goods. www.dedelind.com

Lisa Baker - DeDe's roomie and playindividual from November, 1966 as well as the annual playindividual. www.lisabaker.com

Carol Vitale - also a former recreationalindividual of the hef persuasion, July 1974, www.carolvitale.com

Kerri Kendall - more recent playperson (December 1990), just turned 30. I love this picture. www.kerrikendall.com

Julie K Smith - Little Jule, Big Jule's little buddy, and oftentimes partner in b-movies. www.julieksmith.com

Lorissa McComas - she must be the Queen B. Lorissa turned 30 in November, is now working some in major releases, but continues to do video specials, her own material, grade-z movies and whatever. Possibly the best looking woman ever to do this kind of material. www.lorissa.com

Antonia Dorian - co-starred with Big Jule and Little Jule in The Bare Wench Project

Doria - former host of Night Calls. www.doria.com

Dita - now just Dita, starring in adult films- www.dita.net

Becky Sunshine - video and internet babe - www.beckysunshine.com

Houston -most famous as the holder of the record for biggest gang-bang (620 men at once). Sleuth mentions that she had a labiaplasty - had her vaginal lips reshaped and trimmed - and auctioned off the leftovers! www.thehoustonchannel.com

Julia Hayes - former penthouse babe with red hair and a classically beautiful face www.juliahayes.com

Cindy Pucci - star of the car magazines, often seen standing on a hood in Street Rodder or one of those mags. www.cindypucci.com

Taimie Hannum . I have no idea who she is, but I liked the pictures of her. www.taimie.com

Victoria Zdrok - nude model of the hef persuasion, now with a law degree, shown here with her sister Tatiana Zdrok www.planetvictoria.com

Lara Ladd - internet babe. www.laraladd.com

But we still have Son of the Beach, starring the yummiest morsel on the planet, Leila Arcieri. Some scans of hers for you and the boys. No nudity, but by any unit of measure a healthy dose of cleavage. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Lisa Snowdon visited the Funhouse while I was away. Here she is showing the goodies. Don't know who her companion is.

Luize Altenhofen is a Brazilian bunnymag person, as seen in another magazine.

And to make up for the lack of visible goodies in the Leila scans her is a heapin' helpin' of page 3 babe Zsanett, whose full name appears to be Zsanett Egerhazy but who poses under a variety of names. This is part of the continuing Page 3 Bum series, and in Zsanett's case it should be worth four of five of the average bum. Damn. Her name is Hungarian. Time for me to book that flight to Budapest (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Terri Treas

Babes in undies