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Back to normal today. (Kinda - that link from Digg is still
sending tons of hits ... more than a day after they first placed it.)
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk: expanded format.
* Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Six Ways to Sunday
Six Ways to Sunday (1997) is a dark crime comedy set in Youngstown, Ohio.
Norman Reedus is 18, lives with the most castrating mother ever to be in a
film, and works at a fast food restaurant. His childhood friend, who works as
an enforcer for for the Jewish Mafia, takes him on a job in a strip joint.
Reedus goes postal and beats the crap out of a deadbeat. When he is summoned
to meet the boss, he is expecting to be in big trouble, but it turns out that
the deadbeat got religion after Reedus visited him, paid off his entire debt,
and gave the mob additional cash to make sure Reedus wouldn't come back.
Reedus is welcomed into the organization, and assumed an important role after
his buddy is arrested in a holdup.
He moves himself and his mother into a house, and becomes a hot man. Seems
he has an alter ego that is a ladies man with the capacity for ultra-violence.
Then he makes his first mistake, and tries to get fresh with Elina Löwensohn,
the big boss's maid. He is ordered to court her. The rest of the film is about
his progression in the mob, and his relationship with Elina Löwensohn vs. his
relationship with his mother.
Debra Harry was incredible as the mother, doing things like giving Reedus
his bath, pinching his blackheads, controlling the lamp in his bedroom, and
trying to keep him from girls. Norman Reedus owned his own role, and was
perfect. Elina Löwensohn was charming, and I would have liked to see more of
her. While there is plenty of humor, there is also explicit violence, so be
warned. This could have gone wrong so many ways, but director Adam Bernstein
(It's Pat) kept it on track. This is a C+.
IMDb readers say 5.8.
It did nothing in the box office.
Scoop's note:
Here's what I wrote about the film in 1999:
" ... made the rounds at the festivals, but didn't get much theater play.
I think it was introduced at the SXSW festival here in Austin. Typical goofy
indy premise. Jewish mobsters in Youngstown, Ohio take a liking to a young
"goy" with a mild polite exterior and raging violence beneath the surface.
Of course, he's only violent because his dad left his mom and she raised him
as if he were still age four. Or something like that.
In the end, he (or the spirit of his dad within him) ends up humping his
mom. Although she's all for it, and had been prodding him to do it, she
hangs herself when she realizes what she's done. Or maybe he hangs her and
blames it on the spirit of his dad. Whatever.
He packs her in a travel case, picks up his girl, slaughters all the
mobsters, goes to the bus station and grabs the first Greyhound bus out of
Youngstown. He buys three seats - one for him, one for his best girl, and
one for his dead mom.
I think you can figure from the summary whether you'd like it or not. "
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Fear City
The Time Machine travels back to 1984 for "Fear City' and a totally
delicious and sexy young Melanie Griffith showing off some T & A playing a
stripper.
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Perpetrators of the Crime
1998. Tori Spelling shows partial boob raping her kidnapper. |
| Tori Spelling |
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The Last Sect
Skinless erotic horror from 2006, with David Carradine as Van Helsing.
Natalie Brown and Deborah Odell show a lot of cleavage in a lesbian
vampire sequence. |
| Natalie Brown |
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| Deborah Odell |
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"Starhunter"
Episode: "Cell Game." One-timer Rebecca Flewelling shows her big guns. |
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Rebecca Flewelling |
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"U8TV: The Lofters"
Canadian reality series from 2001 - a knockoff of Big Brother. The
internet site featured nudity which was censored from the broadcast
version. Almost none of these pics are currently available. Featured below
is a nipslip of future sportscaster Jennifer Hedger who also had a bit
part in Playmakers (possible bodydub shown below).
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Jennifer Hedger: Lofters |
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Jennifer Hedger: Playmakers |
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"Naked Josh"
Episode: "Looking Good." Tori Hammond shows a lot of cleavage as Josh's
tubby girlfriend.
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Tori Hammond |
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"Night Heat"
Episode: "Wages of Sin." Another trip in the wayback machine. Jennifer
Inch and Dinah Christie, sexy as prostitutes in 1986. Billy Van, eat your
heart out. |
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Dinah Christie |
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Jennifer Inch |
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Finally, a rare fashion photo of Gabrielle Miller from Corner Gas in a
see-through blouse with nothing underneath. |
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| From
Nanou, a British drama:
Imogen Stubbs |
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| And a few of Kim Dawson in Satisfaction, one
of Lady Chatterley's Stories |
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| From
Al di la delle legge, an
Italian spaghetti western : Ann Smyrner |
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| and Graziella Granata |
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| From
Nirvana, an Italian
futuristic thriller - possible Matrix forerunner : Stefania Rocca |
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| plus Amanda Sandrelli (Stefania's daughter) |
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| plus Emmanuelle Seigner |
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| and an unknown. |
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| From
Dixie Lanes, a
coming-of-age period drama : Pamela Springsteen (Bruce's sister)
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| and, Karen Black |
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| From
The Evil Dead, Sam Raimi's
1st film : Ellen Sandweiss "raped" by demonic trees |
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| and Betsy Baker |
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| An unknown from
Dominic's Castle, a mostly
black-cast piece |
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| An unknown from
Karate Warriors, a Sonny
Chiba film |
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| From
The Message, a propaganda
(?) biography of Muhammed, which was directed by Mustapha Akkad, the
"Halloween" executive producer who was recently killed in a bombing, Irene
Papas |
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Wedding Slashers
Since I capped Wedding Crashers some time ago, it only follows that I'd
do 2006's Wedding Slashers. 'Course, this one isn't exactly a comedy,
unless you've got a weird sense of humor. It's a horror flick with a
fairly unique plot twist, unfortunately diminished by some fairly mediocre
acting and scripting.
Jenna is a young woman who dreams of finding the perfect man and living
happily ever after. Unfortunately, every man of her dreams meets with
tragic accidents before she can get married. Or were they accidents?
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This time it looks like the real thing, except that right after the
bachelor and bachelorette parties, people once again start to die. Is it
happening again? And who is behind the tragedies?
Like I said, not a bad plot, and even better when you find out what's
behind the deaths, but execution hurts this film a lot.
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Tanith Fiedler |
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Notes and collages
The Ladies of
Sci-fi/Fantasy
The Seventh Sign
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...Ms. Demi Moore is wearing a "pregnant body"
prosthetic so the real reason I did these collages is to promote the film: "The
Seventh Sign" is about the signs of the coming apocalypse and is interesting for
that, but what makes it clever is that the story includes the Roman centurion
who supposedly stabbed Jesus in the side at the crucifixion. According to this
plot, the centurion was made immortal as punishment for his act and after nearly
2000 years he is willing to do anything to be able to die... |
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"The Hunger"
Episode "ANAIS"
An architect (George Rain) on business in a strange city makes up
fantasies about a woman he names Anaïs (Ilona Utriainen). He makes up a
rough boyfriend for her and fantasizes about different situations, until
one day his fantasies start to become real. There is some great nudity
in this episode, Ilona, who plays the main female character Anaïs, shows
everything, including her pierced
nipple.
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Lance et Compte
Lance et compte was originally a French-Canadian TV mini-series revolving
around a fictional NHL hockey team called Le National in Quebec city. The team,
Le National, is a direct calque of the real-life Nordiques, right down to the
logo. The series originally aired from 1986-89. Following the end of the regular
series, a number of television movies continued to air into the 1990s until the
TV series was was resuscitated from 2001-06.
The first season was filmed in both French and English, the English version
appearing in CBC as He Shoots, He Scores. ("Lance et compte" is a common hockey
expression in Quebecois, approximately equivalent to "He shoots, he scores.")
This
was the first television series to air simultaneously in English on CBC and in
French on Radio-Canada. In addition to its English airing in Canada, the show
was adapted as Cogne et gagne in France, where the French version was dubbed
into French French!
The show was known for its somewhat risqué love scenes, which brings us
to the pictures. These rarities are from the three seasons of the original
series back in the eighties.
Season 1
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| Danielle Godin |
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| France Zobda |
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| Linda Singer |
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| Maria Orsini |
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| Marie Chantal |
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| Sophie Renoir |
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Season 2
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| France Zobda |
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| Alexandra Lorska |
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Season 3
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| Lorraine Landry |
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| Macha Grenon |
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| Nadia Paradis |
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Images
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 Here is an animated .gif that shows pretty clearly that Darth Vader was
not inside Sienna Miller in Factory Girl. She appears to be rubbing on top
of him. On the other hand, that does appear to be Lord Vader's light saber
touching her naughty bits, and I guess sex doesn't require penetration, so
you could say they were making it. |
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Anna Nicole Smith in "Her Fantasy." |
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Sarah Silverman. Not only the funniest women on the planet, but also
pretty damned smokin' hot, iff'n ya ask me. |
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Amanda Seyfried in Alpha Dog |
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Jeannete Swensson, from Mazurka (we had the film clip a few days ago) |
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Videos
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Today's collection-builder is Bo Derek, part 2 of 2. (Others in
yesterday's edition.)
I suppose I have mentioned this many times before, but I spent a long
time sitting right next to her on a flight from Miami to Lima. That
must have been around 1995 or 1996 - somewhere in there. I was heading
down there to analyze the retail market for Mobil and she was down there
for the grand opening of the first Blockbuster. She was traveling with her handler, an older woman,
and I was traveling with a colleague, so of course, we didn't say much to
one another, but she was incredibly nice, and
made me a local hero the next morning.
As it turns out, she and I stayed in the same motel. On the morning
after the flight I was in the lobby talking to the local Mobil guys,
planning our day, when Bo came up behind me, touched my sleeve gently and
said, "Hi, Greg!" with a big smile. Nothing more than that. She just
walked off to her assignment.
That was enough. The Mobil guys were astounded and you'd have to say
pretty darned impressed, because ... well, every guy in the world knows
who Bo is, and she was still a big name in Peru, which is why Blockbuster
asked her down there in the first place. I wasn't coy about my
relationship with her. I simply told the guys the true story, but you know
how guys are. As the week progressed, they kept embellishing the story,
and repeating it for every single human being they met, so I earned my
Peruvian nickname, "El Marqués de los Grifos."
That's a double-entendre which probably doesn't work anywhere but Peru.
The Peruanos call big, professional-looking gas stations "Grifos" or
"Super-Grifos." As far as I know, "grifos" is not used to mean "gas
station" anywhere else in the world but Peru. I worked in many other
Spanish-speaking countries (Spain, Argentina, Mexico, El Salvador, Chile,
and Guatemala, that I can remember) and never heard it elsewhere. But it
is also a common Spanish word meaning "spigots" or "nozzles," which is how
it came to mean "big gas station" - a place of many nozzles. As you can
imagine, "nozzles" also have a certain phallic significance to oil company
guys, so my nickname could be interpreted literally as "The Marquis of Gas
Stations" or more liberally as "King Dick." That and a five dollar bill
might get me a coffee at Starbucks, but it sure inflated my ego for two
weeks in Peru!
Thanks, Bo. |
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Julianne Nicholson in Flannel Pajamas. Lots of pics below
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Drama students at Wando High School of Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, planned
to perform the classic play about fighting racial injustice, "To Kill A
Mockingbird," when the principal stopped them. Officials said the racists in the
play use racially insensitive terms that might offend someone who was walking by
the theater and heard them out of context. The decision was finally left to the
drama teacher, who has yet to rule on it, after 600 students signed petitions to
allow the play to go on with minor content changes.
* The racists will no longer be even the slightest bit
racially insensitive!
* The drama teacher picked another play instead:
"Huckleberry Finn"...Only in this version, Jim isn't a slave running away down
the river, he's just gone on a Carnival Cruise.
The York Psychic Museum in England has closed. It was opened in 2004 by
astrologer Jonathan Cainer, who thought it would attract 100 people a day, but
it only brought in about 100 a week. He hopes to reopen in 2008, but he said,
"If you are asking me for predictions when exactly it will open up again, then
it is hard to say. Although I'm in the prediction business, I don't believe you
can make predictions about things you are close to."
* Or things you are far away from...
* Okay, then get another astrologer to tell you when it
will reopen.
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