Barb Wire (1996) is a post apocalyptic (in this case US second civil war) Pamela Anderson vehicle. She is a former resistance fighter, now a mercenary, living in the only free city left, running her bar, and doing the odd bounty hunter gig to pay the bills. In the opening scene, she is dancing and swinging on a trapeze with her breasts hanging out being sprayed with water. This is a night club act, and everything goes fine until a customer calls her "babe." Not a good idea, and she throws her high heel and kills him instantly, saying, "Don't call me Babe."

A government scientist discovered that the government killed an entire city testing a biological weapon, and goes over to the resistance with the antidote to the weapon in her DNA. She hopes to escape to Canada and expose this to the world, if only she can get her hands on a special set of contact lenses that will fool retina scanners, the current method of proving ID. She is traveling with Anderson's old resistance partner and flame. The Congressional's (the government bad guys) are out to prevent this at any cost.

Anderson is big and bad, and has a real attitude, but not much acting range in this film, and everyone else is like a comic book stereotype. However, the film looks great. I have no idea what their budget was, but the sets and lighting were imaginative and very effective. Much of the story seemed a homage to Casablanca.

Anderson shows breasts in the opening scene (during the title credits), in a bath, and changing. There is a full ten minutes of out-takes of the trapeze and water spray scene on the DVD. IMDB readers have it at 3.2 of 10. Ebert gives 2 1/2 stars, but gives them some credit for at least trying. Berardinelli savaged it at one star. It is not much of a story and the acting is abysmal, but some of the fights are good, and the sets and lighting are very good. Based on this, it is a C-.

As you may know, Paris Hilton's full-length video is now available on the internet.

• Trust Fund Girls is the site that has the complete 37 minute Paris Hilton video. It is pricey. 50 bucks gets you 5 days of access, but NOT permanent rights, and you can watch it no more than five times. It's copy-protected, it will only play on the Windows Media Player 9,  and the video is DirectX, so there are no easy screen snaps. The video is, however, completely legit. I paid my fifty bucks and watched it. It is certainly Paris and Rick. It finishes with a five to seven minute BJ, in good natural light (not night-vision), with Paris's breasts in the shot the entire time. The grand finale is a money shot on her chest. These two would make excellent porn stars. Rick has a big one which stays hard constantly, and Paris is a champion sword swallower.

• The original video delivers a 640x480 (nearly DVD specs) picture in 144 meg, with satisfactory video. It is technically excellent for a home video. The rips I have seen offer a 304x256 picture and have some quality issues, but are watchable. Compare them for yourself here.

• Here are some captures from the rip. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

• Still more captures from the rip. Paris showing off her breasts and complete lack of pubes and Paris giving a serious BJ

• Here is a .wmv file of the last minute or so, also from the rip. If you see this, you've seen the highlight.

• By the way, Paris's sister is gorgeous, and very girl-next-door looking.

• You will find many more Paris-related links in Other Crap and also probably some newer ones at www.othercrap.com

OTHER CRAP:

• This is FANTASTIC! Four stars. Raging Fred. Some crazy bastards took an episode of The Flintstones and overdubbed the dialogue from Raging Bull.
• New pics from Harry Potter and whatever he's up against this time.
• Oh, I just want to leap around the room in joy, like Snoopy in those old Peanuts cartoons. A new trailer for Dirty Dancing 2 : Havana Nights
• A film without Paris! Trailer for The Snow Walker , Barry Pepper movie about wilderness survival, and mysticism, and whatever.
• One more source for the Paris Hilton video, this one in .avi format.
• One more source for the full-length Paris Hilton video, .wmv format.
• Paris Hilton Sex Tape News - comparing the original source to the rips floating around the internet.
• Google Search: miserable failure. The rights and lefts are waging quite a war on this meaningless crap. As of yesterday, George Bush had been displaced as Google's #1 response for miserable failure. As of today, he's back on top.
• Official Paris Hilton Video Download Links for people with Bit Torrent or E-Mule. If you don't know what that means, you may want to skip this link.
• More links to the full Paris Hilton Sex Video.
• Kerry sex scandal update: Presidential hopeful John Kerry was branded a "sleazeball" last night by the parents of a young woman he allegedly tried to woo. "Woo" is the word newspapers use when they mean "fuck".
• Famed douchebag Ralph Nader is expected to launch a new bid for the White House. He will not be the Green Party candidate this year. He'll either head up the Extremely Silly Party or form his own, tentatively called the Birthday Party.
• CBS Apologizes for the Grammy Show, and for every other Grammy Show since the beginning of time. They have also apologized for the poor quality of all future Grammy shows.
• Tarantino to head the jury at the Cannes movie festival
• URL says it all - Toss-My-Salad.com
• "I gotta have more cowbell."
• FUCK! An entire page dedicated to the most powerful and versatile word in the English language.
• Presidential interview doubles the ratings for Meet the Press.
• Canada Condemns 'Racist' Conan O'Brien TV Show... because they really wanted the acerbic comic to come to Canada, but they didn't want him to make fun of any Canadians. "We offer our apology and assurance that it is never our intention to air programing that offends any of our viewers. Except those French fucks, of course." Seriously, they really said they never intended to offend anyone! Presumably, none of them had ever watched Conan's show before they invited him up there. I wonder why they think he's called "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog" if he never intends to offend anyone. Let me just state for the record that at Other Crap it is always our intention to offend everyone!
• The Cathedral, an amazingly pretentious but nonetheless excellent presentation of the details of a cathedral, including the mood. Turn off your sound if you are at work.
• Martin Scorsese wants to make a movie about the mob in Hong Kong.
• Laws of Attraction. Romantic comedy with Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore doing a Tracy/Hepburn act.
• The federal budget published last week contains 27 glossy photos of President Bush. "We see the president in front of a giant American flag, in front of the Washington Monument, comforting an elderly woman in a wheelchair, helping a small child with his reading assignment, building a trail through the wilderness and, of course, eating turkey with the troops in Iraq. Somehow the art director neglected to include a photo of the president swimming across the Yangtze River."
• Senate's Iraq Probe to Include Bush, Aides. "The Senate Intelligence Committee said Thursday that it planned to investigate whether White House officials exaggerated the Iraq threat or pressured analysts to tailor their assessments of Baghdad's weapons programs to bolster the case for war."
• Judge Wants Jackson Case Heard This Year: "The judge in Michael Jackson's child-molestation case said Friday he wants the trial to take place this year, and lawyers predicted they would be ready to go in December." December? You know, for the kids.
• Kylie's knickers get lippy.
• The Daily Show looks at "This Week in God"
• The Daily Show looks at the controversy over President's military record.
• Jon Stewart looks at Wesley Clark's failure in the primaries.
• Associated press says: President Bush orders complete release of all of his military records.
• Paris Hilton Sex Tape Information - more mysteries. (1) This site claims that the video can be linked to Jim Salomon, Rick's brother. (2) This is certainly consistent with the data we uncovered yesterday, that the domain trustfundgirls.com was registered eight months ago. Who else would have known about the tape back then, except the participants or their immediate confidantes? (3) The site also suggests that Paris may have been 17 when it was filmed, although she specifically says on the tape that she is 19.
• BLOGWARS.COM - minute by minute description of the Paris Hilton tape.
• Arena Football cheerleaders: the New York Dragons Firedancers
• Hello Domino's? Yeah, I want the three topping deal - with sausage, pepperoni and ... um ... viagra.
• Recruits, strippers a 'tradition' at Colorado and elsewhere.. These NCAA people need to get in touch with reality. If I'm a high-school all-American, I ain't goin' to your school unless you show me a REALLY good time when I visit your campus. And I don't care about the quality of your library or the beauty of your setting. (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
• Mitchell & Ness Nostalgia Co.. Sports jerseys from the past.
• Sexual Positions Free - Learn Some New Sexual Positions
• Microsoft grapples with leak of source code online. Pieces of Windows 2000 and NT 4.0 are now compromised.
• A teenage boy posing as a banker duped an Ohio car dealership into delivering a $123,000 BMW to him at his high school.
• Have the survivor results been compromised? The submitter of this link wrote,

  "this one is VERY interesting. Ain't It Cool News has found out the exact order of Survivor All-Star elimination. No...this is not some scheme where someone found X's placed on Survivor faces on some web site. (Remember the first season of Survivor?)

  
  
  It appears that someone posted an episode by episode "prediction," with episode recaps days before the first show aired (it followed the Super Bowl Feb 1). So far the poster is three for three (on both predicted castaways and series recaps). This is way to unlikely to be a good luck guess...the odds of a mathematical prediction alone of getting the first three of eighteen right has to be outlandish.

  
  
  So who has posted this? A producer...doubt it. An editor...maybe. A member of the film crew...most likely. This will be big news as the next few episodes unfold, and CBS will be very upset. Unless they know about it, and the poster is wrong."

   

• Extreme-sports nuts are getting even crazier, taking their daredevil stunts to new heights: Skydiving without a parachute! "If you hit right, you can usually land with only some broken bones and maybe a few lacerations or puncture wounds. Most of the fatalities happen in the earlier stages of learning the sport."
• More about Courtney Love's discussion with Howard Stern
• WhosLying.org catches Matt Drudge in a few crafty whoppers.
• Former pro wrestler Brutus Beefcake causes an anthrax scare. Turns out it was cocaine, which he was using on the job.
• The Straight Dope: What the hell is a meme and how do you pronounce it?
• Assholes are more likely to be smokers! Brain imaging studies suggest that the same genetic variations that give people hostile personality traits may also make them more likely to become addicted to nicotine.
• According to MGM, Pierce Brosnan is still 007.
• Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich took his quest for a girlfriend to late-night television - and won a date with actress Jennifer Tilly
• The full Paris Hilton sex video in .wmv format.
• retroCRUSH presents the pin-up art of Bill Randall
• Where Did all of Howard Dean's Money Go? According to Newsweek, he spent it all on cowbells. He's definitely Christopher Walken's top candidate. Gotta have more cowbell.
• The 50 Greatest Movie Animals. Toto from the Wizard of Oz finished first, just edging out Brian Dennehy.
• Monty Python and The Holy Grail has been named by film fans as the best British picture of all time. And Python's Life of Brian finished sixth! Other top finishers: A Clockwork Orange, Trainspotting, Lawrence of Arabia, The Third Man.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you'll get an Oscar.
• Ture or false? The following is a real headline: Actress And Anti-War Activist Jane Fonda Speaks to a crowd of Vietnam Veterans as Activist and Former Vietnam Vet John Kerry (LEFT) listens and prepares to speak next concerning the war in Vietnam (AP Photo) " Answer - the caption and the accompanying photograph are completely fake.
• A day after leaving the race, General Wesley Clark admitted today that he detests Madonna, telling reporters, "Sucking up to that ho was the low point of my entire life."
• The National Enquirer headlines: Matthew Perry Relapses Into Drug & Booze Nightmare

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Rockbitch:

• Only one vid from Shiloh today, but it is awesome. A cable show from the UK about the rockin' carpet munchers, Rockbitch (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Adriana Lima, two skimpy outfits...#1 shows a nice partially covered rear, #2 shows excellent push-up style cleavage. (1, 2)
• Alicia Keys
• Anna Friel, topless.
• Anna Kournikova, looking gorgeous.
• Beyoncé Knowles, upskirt panty views. (1, 2)
• Courtney Peldon, WOW! The "Boston Public" co-star barely dressed and looking fantastic as she shows off some cleavage and thong views.

• Daisy Fuentes, cleavage.
• Gisele Bundchen, on the runway.
• Jennifer Esposito
• J-Lo
• Jennifer Love Hewitt, barely containing the goods in her Oscar dress.
• Julia Volkova aka the good looking pseudo-lesbian from the Russian pop group T.A.T.U.

• Mena Suvari
• Paris Hilton
• Penny Lancaster, wearing a see-thru dress showing off her thong
• Roselyn Sanchez, the sexy star of the mega-lame "Boat Trip" wearing a very lo-cut dress.

• Tina Barrett, one of the members of the pop group S Club 7, barely dressed out in public. (1, 2)
• Uma Thurman
• Victoria Beckham
• Victoria Hervey, see-thru nipple sighting
• Vivica Fox, great cleavage.

"Rod Steele 0014: You Only Live Until You Die"
What makes this 2002 direct-to-video spoof work is the good job that Robert Donovan does as Rod Steele, Agent 0014. Steele is a low-rent James Bond, not quite good enough to be in single digits, but still very cool and very British.

The plot predictably has Steele facing arch-villainess Tangerina and of course to do this, he's given a box (looks like an oversized TV clicker) that has several tools just made for villainess fighting. Unfortunately, the box is accidentially switched with a box which causes uncontrollable sex urges. Hey, why not, happens to me all the time. :-)

Of course it's very lame and just an excuse for tons of nudity and fake sex, but Donovan pulls it off so well, as do most of the other actors, and the script is very funny, so this is definitely worth watching. Even people who aren't attracted to the nudity and sex will get a lot of laughs from this one.

• De'Ann Power
• Delphine Pacific
• Jacqueline Lovell & Gabriella Hall
• Kira Reed, Sheila Vale & Tammi Fallon
• Sita Renne Thompson
• Stacey Leigh Mobley (Holly Hollywood)

GOVERNMENT SUPPORT OF MUSIC WANNABES NOT PAYING OFF
Raw Deal For Taxpayers - Critics of a British government program called "The New Deal For Musicians" claim it's wasting taxpayer money. The program has spent 14 million pounds ($29.4 million US) on classes and cash grants for 13,000 people who want to be DJs or pop stars. Opponents say they've seen no proof that any of them have managed to find work in the music industry.