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Well it's that time of year again and here's the latest news on the Worst of 2000...
BATTLEFIELD EARTH LEADS RAZZIES
John Travolta's "Battlefield Earth" was back in the news Monday. First, it received a field-leading eight Razzie nominations from the Golden Raspberry Awards. Then it was reported that cable's Sci Fi Channel quietly got the TV rights in a bargain basement $2 million deal. Nobody else wanted it, not even Comedy Central. The deal was made months ago, but both Sci Fi Channel and Warners were too embarrassed to reveal it.
The Next Worst Things - Also vying for the Worst Movie Razzie are "Little Nicky," "The Next Best Thing," "The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas" and "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2."
Here are the Number of Nominations per picture:
BATTLEFIELD EARTH - 8 (Worst Picture, Actor, Screen Couple, 2 Supporting Actors, Supporting Actress, Director, Screenplay)
BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 - 5 (Worst Picture, Remake or Sequel, Screen Couple, Director and Screenplay)
LITTLE NICKY - 5 (Worst Picture, Actor, Supporting Actress, Director and Screenplay)
THE NEXT BEST THING - 5 (Worst Picture, Actress, Screen Couple, Director and Screenplay)
THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS - 4 (Worst Picture, Remake or Sequel, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress)
THE 6th DAY - 3 (Worst Actor, Screen Couple and Supporting Actor - ALL Arnold Schwarzenegger)
DR. SEUSS'S HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2 (The Year's Two Biggest Money-Makers) 2 Nominations Each
Click here for full details from the 21st Annual Razzies.
| Tuna
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"Trail of a Serial Killer" (1997)
Trail of a Serial Killer (1997), originally made and released in Canada as Papertrail, is the finest example I have ever seen of a cliched suspense thriller. We have a burnt out FBI guy who was suspended, but has been brought back in to solve the serial killings that have haunted him for
years, and cost him his bitch of a wife and two kids. We have all of the suspects in a group therapy session with a therapist who has a dual PhD in psychology and language, but really wants to solve crimes. Each plot twist is yet another red herring mis-direction, and the entire film is dark and
grainy, lacks contrast and is undersaturated.. Best of all is the ending, where an evil twin explains the entire film to her intended final victims and the audience.
The one high point, and the reason a Funhouse member suggested this film, is the nude appearance of Canadian actress Thea Gill. She shows her breasts, which are substantial, in a short sex scene. The films single fan has left a comment on IMDB, but no other information is available. The handful of those at IMDB who have voted have it at 4.7/10.
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Thea Gill
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"Black Scorpion II: Aftershock" (1996)
Black Scorpio II: Aftershock is the sequel to a Bat Man knock-off with a female "Black Scorpion" (Joan Severance), a batmobile that responds to voice commands, and turns from a black Scorpion car into a red sports car on command, a joker like villain named Gangster Prankster, and many more colorful good guys and bad guys. The photography is way to jerky, with too many hand-helds and quick cuts, and the plot is barely there. Some of the costumes are very well done, and, overall, it is a very colorful film. The good news is that there is lots of exposure. Here is the summary:
Joan Severance - cleavage and a pokie
Sherrie Rose - Panty shot and cleavage
Laura Herring - Legs and cleavage
Jeannie Millar - breasts
Kimberly Rowe - breasts
Both films were created by Roger Corman, who has also launched a TV series on the Sci Fi channel. IMDB readers have Black Scorpion II at 4.9/10, which is a little harsh. While not perfect, it is entertaining. Boobs for plot is not that bad a trade in my opinion. Also, the acting is fine, they just had very little to work with, and were attempting over-the-top camp.
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Jeanie Millar
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Joan Severance
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Kimberly Rowe
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Laura Herring
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Sherrie Rose
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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I looked at Rated X, the Estevez-Sheen portrayal of San Francisco's notorious O'Farrell brothers. It isn't as bad as it sounds, but there's just too much time spent watching them blow coke, and not enough time on what their films were like, or
even what they were really like.
- Tracy Hutson (she played Marilyn Chambers, their most famous leading lady)
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- Sadie Leblanc
- Various
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Honte's site is updated.
| | New Variety
| | Britney Spears |
The paparazzi are at it again! Here's Britney in a bikini, by PicCap.
| | Jeanne Moreau |
Ok movie trivia dudes...here's a tough one. From which movie is this frame of nipple exposure by screen legend Jeanne Moreau taken? We have no clue. Anyone?
| | Mia Kirshner |
Topless in the tub. If memory serves, this B&W scan by F19 is from the book "Women Before 10am"
| | Jessica Alba |
Vidcaps by Downdude of the Dark Angel babe looking pretty good on Conan.
| | Jordana Brewster |
Bootleg 'cap of the first nudity I've ever seen from the young actress. Not the best quality, but hey, the movie "The Invisible Circus" is only in limited arty-farty release in LA, NY, and maybe a couple of other two letter cities.
Some folks may remember Jordanna as the hot brunette babe from "The Faculty". She's also Mrs. Mark Wahlberg, and the daughter of Maria Joao, the former "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit model from Brazil. Naturally, Brainscan is eagerly awaiting 'caps of Jordana's arse.
On a barely related side note...Look for Marky Mark this summer as the lead in Tim Burton's remake of "Planet of the Apes". I'm huge fan of the original, and if anyone can pull it off conceptually, it's Burton however, I'm still not so sure about Marky Mark. Somehow I think that when the little dude with a lisp says "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" it wont exactly have the same impact as it did the first time around when Moses said it.
By the way, here's a little something for the "Apes" fans. Click Here
| | Amber Smith |
A collage featuring the Scavullo full frontal poses, by Desparado.
| | Dominique Lavanant |
Excellent quality full frontal nudity from the French actress. Scenes from 1976's "Calmos", by Touch.
| | Gigi Edgley |
The "Farscape" baring her bum on the cover of the Aussie mag "Black and White". Scan by Venom Soup.
| | Mimi Rogers |
Showing off her very large and natural breasts in a shower scene from 1991's "The Rapture".
| Kaye Wragg
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From Watty, topless 'caps from the UK. Here are scenes from ""In a Land of Plenty".
| Magali Amadei
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A topless fashion model, if anyone's interested.
| | Anita Riisgaard |
Another mostly nekkid model. Thanks to Daysleeper.
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To borrow from Comic Book Guy...today was by far the "Slowest news day ever".
So when that happens, I like to take the time to go back and have a second look at some of the great work we've seen in the Fun House during the past few months.
| Jennifer Connelly
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As a Fun House rule...when in doubt, run Connelly. It's hard to go wrong with one of, if not the all time Fun House favorite. Especially when we have great quality nude images like these vidcaps from "Waking the Dead", by Hugo.
| Laetitia Casta
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Another great stand by for rainy days. These are two of my favorite recent scans by Blackshine.
#1 is great topless pose.
#2 is Laetitia's bare back. Not the normal goodies we all like to talk about, but for me this is a beautiful image. Nice colors, excellent scan quality, and proof that supermodels are super for a reason...just look, even the non-naughty bits are incredible.
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Gretchen has been building a very nice filmography of quality work since her screen debut in the Spike Lee film "Girl 6", but it was "Forever Mine" that really put her into the Fun House spotlight. Here are 'caps of her two nude scenes. I believe the word 'perfect' comes to mind.
| Penélope Cruz
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Why?...because she's a hot Spanish babe with fabulous breasts, do you need a better reason? Thanks to CL for these vidcaps from 1997's "Abre los ojos".
| Pam Anderson
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DVD vidcaps from "Barb Wire". Well, if there's one thing I learned in school it was this...know your history. After all Pam and Tommy are living 'net legends.
| | Molly Sims |
I love this image. Great colors, very original artistically, and Molly looks just fine topless.
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Natalie
Nicole
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The Appleton sisters. A great music to movie crossover. Not so much for the quality of either All Saints' music or the script of "Honesty"...but more specifically because these pop stars got buck nekkid and did love scenes on their first time out! For that they earn full credit. Vidcaps by Skease.
| | The Funnies by Number 6
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This is an English recap. Now for today's lesson.
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.
11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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