One Hour Photo (2002) finally arrived on DVD, and this is the best Robin Williams vehicle in a long time. Williams plays a lonely single man who has worked in the one hour photo department of Sav*Mart, a discount department store for ten years. He prides himself on his work, and has no other life, but lives vicariously through his customers and their pictures. He is especially attached to one family. While he is clearly disturbed, he is functional, until two things happen. He discovers that the husband of the family he dotes on is cheating from some pictures the other woman (Erin Daniels) drops off, and he is fired. With nothing to lose, and a deep sense of wrong on the part of the man who has everything he himself wants and is cheating anyway, he plots a revenge/wake-up call.

Williams nailed the role. The film was a first effort from writer/director Mark Romanek, and is one of the better freshman efforts I have seen. Lighting and color palette were used to show the SavMart as sort of a heavenly white cathedral, rich earth tones were used for the family, and every scene with Williams was somewhat drab and off-color. The music was appropriately creepy.

Erin Daniels shows first bush in an open robe, breasts, and then buns as Williams forces them to have simulated sex while he photographs them. IMDB readers say 7.4 of 10. Rotten Tomatoes has 82% positive, with 86% from the top guys. Ebert has it at 3 1/2 stars, and Berardinelli at 3. For me, it was a new premise, well made, and really held my interest. It was also totally believable. The genre is thriller, but it is not a typical one, and has broad appeal outside of the genre, and is hence a B.

• New volumes for Bijou Phillips, Bobbie Phillips, Samantha Phillips, Paulina Porizkova, Jessica Paré, Tera Patrick, Piper Perabo, Sacha Peralta, Jennifer Ehle, Elvira, Claudia Karvan, Alexandra Kamp, Kimberly Kates, and Catherine Keener.
• The Honte's Site of Swedish and International Celebs is updated!
• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. Charlie says, "Claire Keim is again the star of the week. I know you keep an eye on Elodie Bouchez. Her next film has everything to please you: Gerard Depardieu and evil twins."
  • To quote Marv Albert ............ YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
  • Actually, to really make my day, Depardieu would have to be speaking English. I actually kinda like him in some French movies. Going Places is one of my favorites, and I liked him a lot in Jean de Florette and The Return of Martin Guerre, for example. Of course, that was several hundred pounds ago. John Goodman once said "you know you're too fat when they make you lose weight to play Babe Ruth". Depardieu would have to lose weight to play Free Willy.
  • He's about right to play Brando, however.
  • And to make it my dream movie completely perfect, the evil twin would actually have to be an additional Depardieu. And maybe throw in some twin Roberto Benignis as well, tripping over some banana peels and stepping on some rakes! That would be wacky non-stop fun indeed!

Other crap:

• The one thing I love best about activists - they get naked. Anti-war, and anti-fur as well.
• Despot or Sexpot? It's all in the moustache. Brought to you by Saddam Hussein and Ron Jeremy.\
• Speaking of Jeremy, this article is like our conception of heaven - Joe Bob Briggs writing about Ron Jeremy - the film is a documentary called "Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy". Joe Bob says it is tremendous, and he nearly stayed serious through the entire review.
• Weekly World News has uncovered the shocking discovery of a race of underground Mole People living 20 miles beneath the Earth, using secret tunnels to enter the United States!
• Are inspections working? Apparently not, at least when you're talking about mattress tags.
• Taking the fun out of spring break. Cancun bans and will enforce bans against underage drinking and public nudity. Man, what the hell good is a spring break if you can't hang out with drunken, underage naked chicks? It's getting so there's no good reason to go to college any more.
• Saddam feeds Christians to the lions
• Satire site whitehouse.org gets a nasty letter from Dick Cheney's lawyer, about a false bio of Cheney's wife

What're the odds?

Not too long ago, I wrote about intertops.com (see banner above), that crazy offshore betting site that runs odds on the Oscars. As I kept looking through their site, I got more and more fascinated by the things you can bet on, and I decided to make it a regular feature. I'm not a betting man myself, but the whole subject fascinates me. You can bet, for example, on the RAZZIES! Britney and Madonna are really running neck and neck for that Worst Actress award (slight edge to Britney) and their films are battling it out for Worst Picture (slight edge to Madge).

Worst Actor in a Leading Role. Closing Date: Mar 22, 2003 12:00

Eddie Murphy 1/1, Adrinao Giannini 5/2, Adam Sandler 13/4, Roberto Begnini 17/4, Steven Segal 9/2

Worst Actress in a Leading Role  Closing Date: Mar 22, 2003 12:00

Britney Spears 5/4,  Madonna 7/5, Jennifer Lopez 37/20, Winona Ryder 13/2, Angelina Jolie 18/1

Swept Away 3/4,  Crossroads 11/10, The Adventures of Pluto Nash 15/4, Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio 8/1, Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones 20/1

Looks like my main man, Benigni, is out of it. I'm sure he'll double the pratfalls next year. As we speak, he's working on his techniques for tripping over several new forms of fruit rinds, and I hear that he's going to attempt the much more daring "vegetable fall" next year as well. He's also sponsoring some much-needed research into developing sillier bells for his cap, thus finding a way to open up the "fool's bell bottleneck" that has limited foolish comics to the same basic bell technology their predecessors used in the middle ages. And he's been practicing in front of the mirror hour after hour on his funny faces, so with a bit of luck he should kick some ass next year.

Especially if he can land his dream project:  Roberto Benigni's Hamlet. There are some who say he's too old to play a Hamlet fresh from he university, but I say fie on the nay-sayers. Roberto played Pinocchio this year, and that's an eight year old boy!

It's a cleavage only day for the "Hankster".

First it's Ami Dolenz in "Demolition University" who gives us a pretty nice down blouse as she gets ready to make a run in a track practice scene.

• Ami Dolenz (1, 2, 3)

Then it's on to my queen of the B-movies Shannon Tweed in "Shadow Warriors", who actually keeps her clothes on in this flick but does give us some fantastic cleavage.

• Shannon Tweed (1, 2, 3, 4)

MICHAEL JACKSON: 50+ FACIAL SURGERIES?
And That's Just On His Eyebrows - Brace for more Michael Jackson on your TV: Monday's NBC "Dateline" is called "Michael Jackson Unmasked," and it will focus on how his changing face has paralleled the changes in his fortunes. As for his claim that he's had only two operations, NBC interviewed a top L.A. plastic surgeon who used to share a practice with Michael's doctor, and he estimates Michael has had "well over 50" operations on his face.