Monday

Tuna
"Jacob's Ladder"

Jacob's Ladder (1990) is an Adrien Lyne mind fuck movie that is either manipulative and gimmicky, or brilliant but not especially pleasant, in that it makes you experience what it would be like to be seriously mentally ill. Giving a plot summary is not only difficult, but, with a surprise ending, nearly impossible -- the difficulty being what is real and what is hallucination. Tim Robbins is a Vietnam vet who had some horrible experience in Vietnam, and the film moves back and forth between the Mekong Delta, and NEw York, where he works for the post office, and lives with Elizabeth Pena. He is clearly haunted by whatever happened to him during the War. The film seems to claim that what happened was government testing of a hallucinogen.

Pena shows breasts in several scenes in the first half of the film. Most are pretty dark, but it still amounts to excellent breast exposure. IMDB readers have it at 7.1 of 10. Ebert says 3 1/2 stars. Rotten Tomatoes scores 72% overall, but only 33% from the top critics. While I agree that Lyne worked hard, and succeeded bringing this dark vision to the screen, I can say I liked the vision. C+.

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  • Elizabeth Peña (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies:

    The Mask of Zorro (1998)

    Looking back from 2003, The Mask of Zorro is probably the last film to demonstrate the star-making power of the American blockbuster. You probably think that Catherine Zeta-Jones is a pretty big star, right? This movie is the reason why. Zeta's indebtedness to her Zorro role is direct. Before Zorro, she was an obscure Welsh actress who had never acted an important part in an important movie. In the four years since Zorro, she's had leads in five major studio releases, is one of the "beautiful people" in Hollywood, and is now the proud possessor of a Best Supporting Actress nomination.

    Intertops says she's in the middle of the pack in that Oscar race, not the favorite, but not out of the running.. She has a chance to win because she was excellent in a film which is Hollywood's flavor du jour, but her competition is Streep and Moore.

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Meryl Streep 1/1
    Julianne Moore 5/4
    Catherine Zeta-Jones 2/1
    Kathy Bates 10/1
    Queen Latifah 20/1

    Her co-star, Antonio Banderas, had attracted notice for his work in Philadelphia, Desperado, Four Rooms, Interview With a Vampire, and Evita, but it was Zorro that elevated him from "interesting actor" to "leading man and Latin heartthrob". Athough Banderas had demonstrated tremendous versatility in his Spanish films, his previous American films had generally shown only his serious side, jaw set resolutely, forehead furrowed in thought as he looked up under his eyebrows. Zorro allowed him to show off his gift for witty dialogue and nuance. As many times as I see this film, Banderas and Anthony Hopkins never fail to crack me up with this exchange:

    Banderas waves his sword around menacingly and energetically

    Hopkins: Do you know how to use that thing?

    Banderas: Yes! (pause) The pointy end goes into the other man.

    It was a pretty good line to begin with, but Banderas handled it just perfectly.

    It is surprising that Hollywood really didn't learn much from his success here, and went right back to casting him in too-serious roles like the ones he played in Original Sin and Femme Fatale. Banderas's star has been fading lately, and the major reason is that directors never seem to cast him to do the things he does best.

    Zorro was one of their rare films where the people and the critics agreed. It received 89% positive reviews and was also a major international success at the box office. It grossed about a hundred million in the USA, but found an even greater audience outside the U.S. borders. It was a blockbuster in Spain, with more than four million tickets sold in that country - in a country with 1/7 the US population. (The Spanish love their movies. Titanic sold about eleven million tickets there.)

    In my opinion, The Mask of Zorro deserved its success. I agree with the critics and the audiences. I enjoyed the hell out of it. It is an excellent popcorn flick in the true Zorro tradition, near or at the very top of the line in a legacy which includes more than 50 films. The character was first created in a pulp magazine story called The Curse of Capistrano in 1919, and was almost immediately brought to the screen by the high voltage Doug Fairbanks, who was a studio executive as well as a star. He developed the project personally, as a starring vehicle for himself in 1920's The Mark of Zorro. One could easily picture Doug Fairbanks in Banderas's role in The Mask of Zorro as well. It has heart-tugging honor and heroism, lavish costumes and sets, really evil bad guys, music, romance, flashing swords, and great action sequences.

    The stunt men were the second best thing about the film and deserved some kind of special Oscars for their swinging around on whips and for the tremendous horseback sequences. (The film was actually nominated only for the sound categories.)

    The best thing about the film, at least from my perspective, is that the corny stuff, the romance, heroism and stunts, are all filled with good humor. I recommend the film whole-heartedly if you like the old fashioned Errol Flynn/ Tyrone Power kind of entertainment film.

    Only one reservation: it seemed very long to me at 136 minutes. There were some sections where the pace slowed to a crawl, and it must be an hour into the film before Banderas ever dons the black mask.

    And Zeta looked MAH-velous

    • Catherine Zeta-Jones. Because it was a family movie, you may have forgotten that one of her breasts was actually exposed for a couple of frames. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Only You (1994)

    I have not seen this movie, but a reader sent me some raw, non-nude DVD caps, so I assembled a few quick looks at Bonnie Hunt. She's known as a comic actress and an improv trouper, but is also an underrated beauty with a spectacularly fit body.

    • Bonnie Hunt (1, 2, 3, 4)

     


    Updates: 

    • updated volume for Catherine Zeta-Jones


    Other crap:


    What're the odds?

     

    Survivor VI: Who will Survive?  Closing Date: May 20, 2003 21:00

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Matthew 31/20
    Jenna 7/4
    Deena 7/1
    Rob 8/1
    Butch 8/1
    Heidi 8/1
    Jeanne 10/1
    Shawna 12/1
    Joanna 12/1
    Dave 12/1
    Daniel 14/1
    Janet 14/1
    Alex 15/1
    Roger 18/1
    Christy 20/1

     

    MLB 2003: To win the NL East  Closing Date: Sep 27, 2003 08:00

    Intertops sees the Braves and Philles in a virtual dead heat. As I write this, the Phillies will pay $2.35 on a successful dollar bet, the Braves $2.40.

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Philadelphia Phillies 27/20
    Atlanta Braves 7/5
    New York Mets 7/4
    Montreal Expos 16/1
    Florida Marlins 20/1

     


     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Barbara Hershey, full frontal and rear nudity in scenes from "The Entity" (1981).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today, more from "Wicked Sins".

    First up is Victoria Style in a couple of caps and then one with a blonde billed only as Goldie.

    Then on to the female lead Yvette Faulkner and she shows us all three B's while portraying a detective.

    Turtle
    'Caps and comments by Turtle:

    Scoops,

    I finally got around to this month's FHM issue with the Baywatch babes. Beautiful pictures!

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    An excellent assortment of goodies today from Mr. Nude Celeb...

    First up, from the movie "Sorority Boys"

    • Bree Tuner, pokies and wearing a soaking wet shirt. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Melissa Sagemiller, pokies (1, 2)
    • Melissa Sagemiller's topless body double. (1, 2)


    Next up, vidcaps from the Farrelly brothers movie, "Me, Myself & Irene".

    • Renée Zellweger, showing some pokies and playing with a big rubber dildo. (1, 2, 3)
    • Shannon Whirry, the B-movie regular showing serious cleavage, and having a boob sucked by Jim Carrey. (1, 2, 3)


    Finally...from the movie "The Yards".

    • Charlize Theron. Yup, more pokies, and also going topless. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Variety
    Jennifer Garner
    (1, 2)

    Terrific collages featuring high quality producion stills from this past weekend's #1 movie "Daredevil". The sexy star is clad in leather and shows plenty of cleavage.

    Leilani Rios
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless, frontal nudity, and great thong views in these new scans by Pushe.

    Natasha Henstridge Kudos to Iced T for:
    a) being able to sit through the movie "Caracara"
    and
    b) 'Capping the Canadian actress/model's very lovely bare breasts.

    Ann Van Elsen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Miss Belgium 2002 posing mostly nude for the Belgian Maxim magazine.