Lie With Me (2006):

After I watched this film, I read Tuna's review and realized that this needed to be a joint Tuna/Scoopy project. For the record, I didn't like the film, but I never like films with long sex scenes, and I probably never will, so I recused myself from the case. Tuna has seen about every soft core sex film ever made, so he's the man for the job. Then I really didn't see any point in duplicating Tuna's imaging work, since he does it better than anyone, so get all the info down there in his section.

So, you ask,  if he did the review and the pictures, what the hell did I do?

Good question. 

Pretty much nothing, at least not as it related directly to the film.

On the other hand, since it is an English-language Canadian erotic film, and since that's not exactly a common species on this planet, I thought it might be interesting to talk about erotic films and Canadian films, and I hope the essays, charts, and stats at the Movie House page are at least illuminating. I learned a lot of interesting things when I did the research, so it may interest you as well. Or not - in which case Tuna has the goods.

 

Blue Desert (1991):

Courteney Cox as a victimized woman who eventually has to take the law into her own hands.

Predates "Friends" and Ace Ventura by three years. Courtney, who turns 42 this year, was only 26-27 when this film was made and looks pretty doggone scrumptious. Since we don't have much career nudity from her, I did a few different lighting treatments, and will probably return to this project again when I get the time.

• Courteney Cox zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

• The first collage comes from the second .wmv, just a fleeting butt shot.

  Courteney Cox

  
  
  

• The three topless collages come from the first zipped .wmv, a scene which is also fleeting but is sweet while it lasts.

  Courteney Cox

  
  
  

 

 

Other Crap:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"Domino"

Domino (2005) is a biopic about bounty hunter Domino Harvery. This daughter of actor Laurence Harvery gave up being a Ford model and became a bounty hunter, and part of a very radical team of bounty hunters. The film is told in flashbacks, where she is being questioned by an FBI agent about a caper involving a large amount of mob money that has gone very bad. Domino was played by Keira Knightley, who did an excellent job in the role. Mickey Rourke and Edgar Ramirez play her partners. The film is all about action, but it is the visual style employed by Tony Scott that dominates everything, often making the film hard to follow.

Keira Knightley shows breasts in a hyperkenetic mescaline induced sex scene late in the film. There are also some anonymous strippers showing breasts and buns.

IMDb readers say 5.7. Ebert awards three stars. Berardinelli awarded two stars, feeling, as I do, that there is a good film in Domino's life, but that director Tony Scott overwhelmed the story with his visual style. Made for an estimated $50M, it grossed $10.1M in the US. Other reviews and comments also found fault with Scotts overbearing style. To be fair, some of the tricks he employed here will probably be used effectively by others, but it is a safe bet that nobody will do an entire film this way. This is a very low C-.

Keira Knightley Strippers

"Lie with Me"

Lie with Me (2005) is a Canadian Erotic Drama with a two line plot. A sexually free woman meets a man at a club and the sparks between them are obvious. They get together sexually, but struggle when the relationship turns to intimacy. So far, not very interesting. The girl, Lauren Lee Smith, has no problems with physical intimacy, but finds her sex life less than completely fulfilling. After sex, she feels like "pleasure sticks to her belly. There are pieces left inside." The night she first sees Eric Balfour at the club, he is with another woman. She leaves with a stranger, and gives him a blow job then screws him outside the club, with Balfour watching. He is hooked at that point, and pursues her.

Her parents are splitting up, and her cousin is getting married. He takes care of his ailing father. The two find the sex easy, but, as they develop needs for more intimacy, both have trouble. Toronto is a character in the film as well, as they try to show what warm summers in Toronto feel like. The film was shot on super 16, which allowed more intimate camera angles. The sex scenes are red hot, and both Balfour and Smith do extensive full frontal.

There was a sparseness of dialogue, beginning with the opening sequence. During the open credits, we start with a unfocused shot of Smith's eye. The camera slowly pulls back to reveal that she is lying on a sofa masturbating while watching a porn tape. She dresses, heads to the club, and does the entire meeting of Balfour, and hooking him by having the public sex with the stranger, all with no dialogue. There is some voice-over, as the film is completely from her point of view. Smith was excellent at telling the story with acting, making dialogue unnecessary.

IMDb readers say 5.2. It is in major chick flick territory with a disparity of 6.9 to 5.1, with women in the 18-29 group giving a 9.1. Hint .. with full frontal and hot sex, this might be a good date flick. The first act had me totally hooked. I felt it begin to drag when they reached the point where need for intimacy begin to diminish the lust. None-the-less, this is an outstanding effort, and I hope director Clément Virgo makes more films in this vane. Lie with Me should have been an entry in the best sex scenes of 2005 voting. This is a high C+. It is nearly as explicit as the recent French films which go into great bedroom detail, but will only offend the most uptight. If you enjoy erotica, I strongly recommend this one.

Lauren Lee Smith

Scoops-

There has been some Funhouse talk the past week about this gal named Rita G. She claims she has the most beautiful breasts in the world AND she claims they are real. Howard Stern and his crew took turns examining them very carefully. Well, I had to rely on 2-dimensional data. Grabbed this disk called The World's Luckiest Bachelor because she was in it. Rita and a bunch of other gals do a lot of stripping and wiggling, and it does look like everything in her is carbon-based. Natural. But Rita's were not even the best looking breasts in the DVD, much less the world. So I guess that makes her half-right.

Not much to say about Rita G's "performance." She strips, she spreads, she wiggles. Fourteen collages worth. End of story.

Rita G