Thursday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6..2.1 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) is a prequel to the popular TV series, and answers all of the questions that the TV show carefully avoided answering, or so some claim. They also say that it is made for "intelligent Twin Peaks Fans," a phrase that should have been on our list of oxymorons the other night. Three women show breasts and buns, Sheryl Lee, Moira Kelly, and Anne Gaybis. Most of the nudity takes place in a whore house or club or something that is cross lit with orange and purple, then strobed, which made for difficult captures. There wasn't one single indoor scene with neutral lighting in the entire film.

IMDB readers say 6.1 of 10, but I couldn't wait for this one to finish. As near as I can tell, the genre is Twin Peaks strange, and has no cross-over appeal. C.

MOVIES:

Lies is a Korean sexploitation film about a man and a woman with the same obsession - whipping. Aside from their fetish, it's the usual relationship story. He's 38, she's 18. He excites her at first because he's so sophisticated and she's a virgin. Then he becomes too clingy, she matures, she dumps him. It's just the same old story as usual, except that instead of straight sex their whoopee-making activity is pretty much based upon beating each other's backsides until raw.

I think it's probably more interesting if you are Korean, because I guess the female star is a famous fashion model who had never acted before. So for them, this would be like us seeing Heidi Klum in a medium-core specialty sex film. Stripped of that context, however, it's just a medium-core specialty sex film.

• Kim Yeon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

Don't Say a Word is the latest Michael Douglas thriller about the mental patient who has a six digit number stored in her head, and Big Mike has to dig it out of there to save his own family. No nudity, but I thought I wrote kind of an interesting wide-ranging review at scoopy.com (below)

The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Another look at "Species" for more toplessness from Natasha Henstridge and a "Babe in Bondage", Marliese Schneider, who is kidnapped and terrorized by Natasha.

• Marliese Schneider (1, 2, 3)

• Natasha Henstridge (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Yamilla Diaz on the cover.
• Anna Beatriz Barros
• Heidi Klum
• Isabeli Fontana
• Josie Maran
• Molly Sims
• Vanessa Lorenzo
• Veronica Varekova

Model Escapes Burning Hotel Room In Thong

Supermodel Molly Sims caused havoc on the latest Sports Illustrated swimwear edition shoot - by accidentally starting a fire in her hotel room. The pretty catwalk star was left running for her life wearing nothing but a thong and a loose-fitting pullover. The red-faced model says, "We had just finished shooting. We had eaten dinner, gone to bed, but I was cold because I had forgotten my sweatpants. I had this fire going in the room, I put on a sweater and this blue turquoise thong. I know, random outfit. All of a sudden, I'm like, 'Oh My God! My couch is on fire!' I bolted out of the room and people were still up from their dinner and I ran out in my cut-off sweater and blue thong. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy."

Selma Jokes About Harrowing Nude Scene

Selma Blair cracked jokes to help cast and crew feel comfortable after her naked rape scene in new movie Storytelling. In the harrowing scene, Blair's character is forced to yell racial slurs at black actor Robert Wisdom, while having intercourse with him. The scene was so graphic, director Todd Solondz was forced to digitally `shroud' it, in the finished film in order to avoid a dreaded adult-only rating. Blair, 29, admits she understands why the sex scene has caused such a fuss, and claims her years as a photography model helped her get naked for the part. She says, "I have no problem with nudity. I studied to be a photographer. I've posed for my friends. After the scene I was quick to put the robe on, because I didn't want other people to feel uncomfortable. People can't hug you if you're not dressed. As soon as Todd yelled, 'Cut, ' I told a joke: 'What do you call a girl run over by a truck? Patty.' Maybe that's how I felt."

Britney Spears didn't flash her breasts in Crossroads.

Britney Spears didn't flash her breasts in a scene cut from her current movie, Crossroads. And she has no plans to guest on Sex and the City, though she is a fan of the steamy HBO show. According to an Internet report Tuesday, Crossroads co-star Taryn Manning said at a news conference that she, Spears and Zoe Saldana suggested the flashing scene when writers asked for ways the three pals might express their elation at winning a karaoke contest.

That much is right. Crossroads producer Ann Carli says a montage was shot that included the three actresses "flashing" hotel guests - but they were shot from the neck up, with no nudity.

The sequence was too long and the scene was cut.

"The studio (Paramount) never even knew about it," says Carli.

She added, "We're thinking of using it on the DVD. It's that innocent. It was a cute segment that didn't really work."

Meanwhile, HBO says there's nothing to a report that Spears will guest on Sex and the City as the niece of Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall, who appears in Crossroads as the mom who abandons Spears' character. Spears supposedly would have seduced Samantha's boyfriend.