Sandra The Making of a Woman (1970) stars Monica Gayle as a young woman who lives in a small town with her abusive, alcoholic father, who is constantly accusing her of being a slut. He removes himself from the picture running his car off a cliff in a drunken rage. She loses her virginity to her local sweetheart, then leaves for San Francisco. She has many sexual adventures, including one with Uschi Digard as the Avon Lady. What is unique, and very 1970s, about this film is that she does not meet a biblical end for al her promiscuity. In fact, through the authority figure of a shrink she goes to work for, her spirit of sexual freedom is praised as being the healthy ideal.

Uschi shows her breasts, and Gayle gives a three B performance. Five voters at IMDb have this at 6.2. It is nice, for a change, to see a film about a young woman enjoying healthy sex. As always, I enjoyed the time capsule of San Francisco. This DVD-R was mastered from a heavily scratched work print. The genre is early 70s grindhouse, and this is one of the better ones. C+.

Black Day Blue Night (1995):

This film is your basic sweaty American desert noir story. Crimes occur. Criminals flee the police. Innocents may be in the way. But who is innocent?

The film begins as an armed women (Mia Sara) interrupts some coupling between her husband and an attractive blonde in a motel. The wife is obviously shy and meek, and no gunfire is exchanged. Both women just want to get away from the creepy husband so, even though they are strangers, they end up leaving together. They get caught in a rain storm, and end up stuck in the mud on the side of the road. As they prepare to bed down inside the car, they see a face at the window. It's a hitchhiking drifter stuck in the storm. Creeped out and scared, the women use their weapon to drive him off into the soggy night. The women run into him again the next morning in a cafe, but this time they judge him harmless and attractive, and the three eventually drive off on a road trip together: two women who do not really know each other and a drifter carrying all of his earthly possessions in a single suitcase.

Meanwhile, a police officer is tracking down some thieves who robbed an armored truck and shot a cop in the getaway process. Only one of the thieves is still at large - a man, carrying a single suitcase full of money.

The cop gets an unexpected break in his pursuit. Somebody spent one of the marked bills from the robbery. It was the blonde. The road trip has changed somewhat because the three strangers in the old red Cadillac are now fugitives.

The cop and the three fugitives finally meet up in the desert.

There you have the basic set-up. To say more would spoil the fun.

This is one of those films that started with a good enough script. If somebody like Tarantino had read the script and liked it and made it his own, Black Day Blue Night might be remembered today as a noir classic. As it is, the screenwriter also had to direct the film, he had a budget of about sixty cents, and no theatrical distribution, so the film is all but forgotten. Frankly, J.S. Cardone wasn't much of a director at the time, either. Altogether too many scenes consist entirely of one shots, primarily facial close-ups. (To mitigate this criticism, let me say that   I thought Cardone brought a lot more pizzazz to his direction of Outside Ozona, a similar noir which he wrote and directed three years later.)

Black Day Blue Night is not even on DVD in Region 1, and it isn't available in a widescreen version anywhere on any medium, at least to my knowledge, but it's a respectable genre script, filled with the usual twists and turns, and a strange, unexpected, heartbreaking ending which is perfectly appropriate for any noir true to its roots. If you can overlook the non-existent production values and enjoy Mia Sara's nudity and the sleazy pursuit by J.T. Walsh as the tough cop, you might get a kick out of this.

• Mia Sara. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) Mia never had any problem getting naked in front of the camera. Unfortunately, she always insisted on turning off the lights first.

Other Crap:

• Lots and lots of images from Sin City
• "the Web's main standards body is facing a revolt within its own ranks over electronic forms, a cornerstone of interactive documents."
• Crack-Smoking Monkeys Hit Blake Case
• I think Dr. Hunter S. Thompson would like to be remembered with an obituary. Oh, It's not an obituary FOR him, but BY him - his famous send-off to his old football buddy, Richard M Nixon. When Nixon died, the usual political toadies and journalistic hypocrites gathered to praise the bottom-dwelling former President. Only Hunter dared to stand on Nixon's coffin, hold his nose, and tell the truth.
  • "If the right people had been in charge of Nixon's funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin."
  • "... the record will show that I kicked him repeatedly long before he went down. I beat him like a mad dog with mange every time I got a chance, and I am proud of it. He was scum. Let there be no mistake in the history books about that. Richard Nixon was an evil man--evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it. He was utterly without ethics or morals or any bedrock sense of decency. Nobody trusted him ... "
  • "Nixon was no more a Saint than he was a Great President. He was more like Sammy Glick than Winston Churchill. He was a cheap crook and a merciless war criminal ..."
  • "He has poisoned our water forever. Nixon will be remembered as a classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest. But he also shit in our nests, and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory like a brand. By disgracing and degrading the Presidency of the United States, by fleeing the White House like a diseased cur, Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream."
• Celebrating Yoni
• Hollywood is scrambling, because Paris Hilton's T-Mobile Sidekick account has been hacked, giving the entire internet access to her address book and notebook. The compromised info includes the e-mail addresses, voice mail, and cell phone numbers for a gazillion celebrities.
• Can This Black Box See Into the Future? It correctly predicted the winner of the third race at Santa Anita, and it is now predicting that Timothy Spall will be the new James Bond.
• The next few links are going to be completely incomprehensible "universal signs" from Japan. For example, can you look at this and figure that it means "watch out for fires"?
• Warning: Do not pour oil on Mr Hankey Poo
• The caption for this sign says "no unaccompanied children", but there must be more to it than that. Why is the kid wearing rainboots and carrying an umbrella?
• Warning: absolutely no pretty flowers.
• Surely this CAN'T really be from anyplace in Japan. "No cameras." That'd be like putting up a "no mullets" sign at a NASCAR event.
• Warning: sideshow mutations ahead.
• Danger: Amazon crossing.
• Warning: turds will extinguish your cigarettes.
• Danger: play tee ball with a tee only. Do not make sissy kids balance the ball on their heads.
• Danger: well-hung periplegics ahead.
• Danger: walrus farts.  
• Here's a new Japanese teaser trailer for director Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds, starring Tom Cruise. The clip includes the Super Bowl footage and new, never-before-seen footage as well.
• Here are two trailers for the PG-rated family drama, Madison
  • "'Madison' is a father-son action/drama based on the inspiring true story of the tiny river town of Madison, Indiana and its legendary efforts during the hydroplane racing season of 1971. In addition to the thrills of 180-mph flat-bottomed boat racing, the picture captures the spirit of a small American River town struggling to stay alive as water transportation has virtually disappeared."
• Charles and Camilla must open wedding to public. "The office of Prince Charles has acknowledged that his April 8 wedding to Camilla Parker Bowles must be open to the public and free of charge."
• Who is Jeff Gannon? Here's his highlight reel?
• Great comedy material. Bill Maher did way better than Jon Stewart on this topic! Bill Maher rants about the gay webmaster who obtained White House press credentials.
  • Maher had the best line of the year, "Now I know what Bush meant when he said he had a mandate."
  • Maher also had the second best line, "How did he get a press pass. He had to have a boyfriend in the White House. Yup, there must have been a 'mole' in the White House. Or maybe a 'gerbil'.
• BBC Sheep Dash! How fast are your reactions?
• Alarmed by the gay porn webmaster who picked up White House press credentials, Press Secretary Scott McClellan unveils a strict new credentialing application to ensure rock-solid integrity of the White House Press Pool. "Please be seated. Well, except for the new correspondent from PowerBottoms.Com – because you are looking just fine right where you are, Kyle."
• BUSH ORDERS CAPE & CROWN: Prez calls for amendment to allow royal titles. This is actually a pretty funny article from Weekly World News.
  • If you don't like it, Condi, why don't you move to Sri Lanka and see if you like it any better in tsunamiland? Don't forget your water wings."
  • The 24-karat gold crown Bush found in a London, England, "monarchy supply house" catalog is studded with over 200 diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires that spell out the President's nickname, "DUBYA," in large letters on the front, and in smaller letters on the back, "FOREVER."
  • The headpiece retails for a staggering $95 million, but it was on sale for $82.5 million -- a sum the Republican-controlled Congress quietly tacked on to a bill authorizing the expenditure of $1,247 to buy a flak jacket for a platoon of unprotected Marines to share in Iraq.
• Original cast 'Carousel' star John Raitt dies at 88. John Raitt, Bonnie's dad, the robust baritone who created the role of Billy Bigelow in the original New York production of 'Carousel' died Sunday. He was 88.
• FilmJerk offers some thoughts on handicapping the Oscars.
• FilmJerk.com's indispensable Early Report for February 20.
• 50 years Gallery - World Press Photo of the Year
• Knit-picking. "Knitting - long belittled as the preserve of elderly ladies declining towards senility - has become a politically engaged, radical artform." Yeah, right. And Wilford Brimley is the new James Bond. No, come to think of it, Brimley is still seething over having lost the Che Guevara role in The Motorcycle Diaries.
• Daily Russell Crowe item: Russell Crowe now says Eucalyptus was cancelled because he didn't want to show off his penis to the young Queen Elizabeth.
• Women Sue Over "Talking" Female Gorilla's Breast "Fetish".
  • "Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian."
• No matter what a woman looks like, there is a man somewhere who will find it sexy. Welcome to SexyAnorexic.com! "If you like sexy bone-revealing, long thin limbed super slender hollow silhouettes, bony flat chests, ultra thin female forms, this site is for you!" This is unreal. These women look like they have been living in concentration camps.
• Cops: Gal Flushed Beau's Genitals. Brother Jeff still has his. As well as his rug, which really brings the room together.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Best All Time Television Comedy

This is one we did a while back, but I thought it would be fun to see what, if anything, has changed.

I did leave out some wonderful sketch comedy shows, as well as one of the best shows ever..."The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", but that leaves this poll more focused on traditional TV formula comedies. Any exceptions (like MST3K) were added in because they were featured in the poll last time.

A quick note...a few people have asked "Why are shows like "Sanford and Son", "Cosby Show", "Jeffersons", "Good Times", etc. not included in the poll".

A good question with a simple answer...the last time we ran this poll, "Sanford and Son" and "Cosby Show" were both included but no one voted for them. (they earned 4 and 2 votes respectively out of the 1018 total votes cast).

Here are the final results and comments for last week's poll Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

Please Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

Today from the Ghost...a few video clips of Fun House favorite Amber Smith baring all and gettin' it on in scenes from the "Red Shoe Diaries" episode: "As She Wishes".

• Amber Smith zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

"3 Steps to Heaven"
A perfect example of what American TV SHOULD be (and isn't), this 1995 made-for-British-TV mystery has tons of nudity by an actress who isn't beautiful but at least looks like a real person. Unfortunately the story plods a little too much to hold the viewer's interest. Still, I wish we did stuff like this other than just on the pay cable channels.

When her live-in boyfriend goes out alone for a night on the town, he turns up several days later, unfortunately quite dead. The police call it an accident, but after finding out that the boyfriend was last seen in the company of several shady characters, the girlfriend sets out to find out what really happened that night.

Unfortunately, her investigation is handled in the typical British low-key manner, and it makes for a slow-paced and sometimes boring movie, aside from the nudity. The ending also leaves more questions than it answers, but fans of in-depth character studies may well enjoy this movie despite its flaws.

• Katrin Cartlidge

"Serving Sara"
Elizabeth Hurley flashes a whole bunch of underwear in Serving Sara. Amy Adams also adds some nice cleavage.

• Elizabeth Hurley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Amy Adams (1, 2)

"The Seventh Sense"
Plenty of nudity in the soft-core The Seventh Sense. There is probably a more explicit version around to the one we saw. Apart from some girls not identified we see a lot of Lucy Jenner, LoriDawn Messuri and Anna Davidoff.

• Lucy Jenner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
• LoriDawn Messuri (1, 2)
• Anna Davidoff
• Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Peggy Trentini
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

GREATEST PRESIDENTS POLL
Personally, I'm A William H. Harrison Man - In a President's Day poll by CNN-USA Today, Americans picked Ronald Reagan as the greatest president, followed by Bill Clinton and Abe Lincoln, with Franklin Roosevelt and John Kennedy tied for fifth. In a poll by Washington College, Lincoln beat Reagan for #1, and George Washington came in 7th. Analysts said it reflects how little Americans know about history: in the college poll, only 46 percent knew Washington led the Continental Army during the American Revolution, and fewer than half of young Americans knew Washington's wife's name was Martha.