Xu Qing in 24 Hours to Live (2017) in 720p

Savvy Jane, Amanda Flowers and Elizabeth D'Ambrosio in ReAgitator (2017) in 720p

Savvy Jane

Amanda Flowers

D'Ambrosio

Ana Claudia Talancon in The Crime of Padre Amaro (2002) in 1080hd

This movie had a good reputation, but I wasn't that impressed. Had it been a Hollywood film, it would have been dissed as an overly manufactured soap opera. The film looks great, and the stars seem to hold their weight, but I just don't see any real merit in the script. The story is completely predictable, the dialogue is either mundane or melodramatic, the characters didn't impress me with the feeling that the author had any special grasp of humanity, and the whole project is just about totally totally lacking in humor and insight. The one thing that distinguished it from a Hollywood movie was the downbeat ending.

I believe it attracted as much attention as it did because it is a Mexican movie with such a professional look and feel to it, and because of its controversial attitudes toward the Church. And the latter only matters if you care one way or the other about attacking or defending that particular institution.

I have liked and admired many films from Mexico, but I felt that this one was just a slick film manufactured to appeal to the emerging Mexican mass market, ala the soap operas and telenovelas.

Alison Eastwood, Claudia Schiffer in Suzanne Cryer in Friends and Lovers (1999) in 1080hd

Imagine that you tune in for your weekly installment of the sitcom "Friends". There are the usual six friends in their late 20's or early 30's, three boys and three girls. They also pair up as lovers occasionally. Two of the six are brother and sister. You notice something is wrong. But there are sex other people playing the roles. What happened? Did they fire the regular cast but keep the show going? Nah! You just were watching a cable movie channel instead of the network station. This isn't "Friends", but "Friends & Lovers".

Should you keep watching it?

I don't know, but probably not.

Roger Ebert and some people at IMDb thought it an abomination which might portend the End of Days, but I thought it was just an innocuous waste of time with the following characteristics.

• It is just like "Friends", except with a cast of unfamiliar characters that you have built no involvement with.
• It has just as many typical formulaic sitcom laughs as a typical episode of "Friends", except spread out thinner - thirty minutes of gags spread over ninety minutes.
• Although the characters are supposed to be in their 20's or 30's, they all have the sexual knowledge and banter of 15 year olds.
• It is better than "Friends" in one way. Two of the three women show their breasts and the other, Claudia Schiffer, comes close.

The plot:

The six friends spend a Christmas weekend at a ski cabin owned by one of their dads. Dad is also there. Stephen Baldwin plays an ignoramus desperate to get laid with one of the three girls. He has the best shot with Claudia Schiffer because she is extraordinarily dim. How dim is she, Johnny? So dim that, although she is German, she is fooled by a guy from New Jersey who is pretending to be German by using a fake accent. When they retire to the bedroom together, they continue to speak bad English together instead of German. Baldwin is miffed that the Jersey guy cut into his "dumb chick" action, so he takes off his pants and joins them in their bedroom. Jersey Guy takes him aside and tells him that he can have Schiffer in a short while, for sloppy seconds. He agrees.

That gives you an idea of the level of humor involved, as well as the realism and depth of the characterizations. The behavior of the other characters is equally implausible. The dad, for example, is a 50 year old man of apparently normal intelligence who simply throws a large metal can of food into a microwave to heat it up. Apart from the dubious humor involved, is that a believable scenario?

Unfortunately, the film's recipe mixes plot and laughs in the wrong proportion, at least for my taste. A sitcom, after all, is just a soap opera wearing a mask of comedy. If you strip away the gags and summarize the plot to your friend, he would not be able to distinguish a sitcom from a soap opera. Because Friends & Lovers takes itself more seriously than a typical sitcom, it lets too much of the soap opera sneak through. The sentimentalized reconciliation between the estranged father and son, for example, is embarrassing to watch, and you may find yourself averting your eyes.

By the way, the screenwriter also plays a part in the movie. He came up with the perfect role for himself. He plays a guy with a really large penis, which is shown in detailed close up.

Why didn't I think of that?

Eastwood

Schiffer

Cryer

Vintage Demi Moore