Sex is Comedy (2002) is a Catherine Breillat film, with automatically means lots of pretentious but unintelligible French dialogue, female nudity, and a feminist slant on everything. Breillat here has given us a portrait of a female director, played by Anne Parilloud, who is directing a film about two teenagers that is to culminate in a nude sex scene. As Breillat would say, the two stars are complicated. They don't like each other, just as a start. The young girl (Roxane Mesquida, the attractive sister in The Fat Girl) has a no nudity clause, the male lead is constantly clowning for the crew, but not taking direction well, there is a technical issue making a penile prosthesis for him to wear, and the director using an in your face technique to motivate her actors.

Billed as a comedy, I found nothing about it funny. Some reviewers praise it as an insight into film making, but all admit it is too talky. Mesquida does a beautiful full frontal when the climactic sex scene is filmed, and shows breasts earlier in the film. IMDb has it at 6.1. Ebert awarded 3 stars, but got several plot details wrong in his review, and I would never have guessed by his review that he liked it. I would say that Breillat has made exactly one good film, The Fat Girl, several terrible films, and this one, which is watchable if and only if the insight into film making is of interest. C-.

Catching up on some movie clips:

Heather:

Heather Langenkamp's nudity in the twenty year old Nickel Mountain is all but forgotten. The tape has been out of print for years, and no DVD seems to be forthcoming.

Heather seems to be out of showbiz now. If you've forgotten her horror movies, perhaps you remember her as Nancy Kerrigan in the made-for-TV movie about Tonya Harding.

According to IMDb, "She has a degree in English from Stanford University."

• Heather Langenkamp (zipped .wmv)

Jennifer Beals:

A rarely-seen clip of Beals in Claude Chabrol's Docteur M.

The legendary French director was 60 when he made this, some two decades after his best work. Chabrol's sort by rating page at  IMDb lists 39 films, and this one is dead last. And being Chabrol's worst movie is no minor accomplishment, because he made some real crap.

Anyway, here's Beals ...

• Jennifer Beals (zipped .wmv)

Zeta:

I guess you know you she is. She steadily cut back on the nudity throughout her career. She started off with a bang in 1001 Nights, then did a little topless flash in Out of the Blue and Resurgence, then the little pseudo-nudity you see here in Splitting Heirs. This film was written by Python Eric Idle, and also featured Idle as a performer, along with his Python colleague John Cleese.

• Zeta-Jones (zipped .wmv)

Kerry Fox:

I suppose we all know of her infamous on-screen blowjob in Intimacy. Here's a more traditional bit of nudity: a brief topless flash from Shallow Grave.

• Kerry Fox (zipped .wmv)

Other Crap:

• Pictures from the AVN porn industry convention in Vegas
• A school in the UK has banned children from playing tag, claiming it is too dangerous. Very true. Especially the traumatic and death-defying Freeze Tag. Tag deaths have been increasing in the U.K. every year since William the Conqueror. It was the fault of those damned Normans, who introduced their Gallic perversions to the game. When the Saxons played alone, nobody got hurt. Except in Axe Tag.
• Jimmy Olsen - cub queen?
• If they gave an Oscar for "Best Scenery" ...
• Hunter's widow claims the author shot himself while on the phone with her. Now THAT's Gonzo!
• "Floater" Ads - the new pop-ups. It surprises me that it has taken the whizzes so long to create anything to block those foul, hell-spawned monstrosities.
• The president-elect of the American Library Association uses a lot of fancy and contemptuous rhetoric to express how much blogs suck. He contends that blogs have not only lowered the reliability factor of information, but have also lowered the quality and civility of public discourse, a charge I can easily refute by saying "blow me, book-boy!"
• MOZILLA FOUNDATION ANNOUNCES 1.0.1 UPDATE TO FIREFOX. Release notes are available, and the download is ready to roll.
• Here's a good source for salacious celebrity gossip and pictures: the santas little helper blog
• This is allegedly the woman in the Fred Durst sex tape
• iowahawk: Fear and Loathing in the Mystery Machine. The forgotten episode of Scooby Doo, as penned by Hunter Thompson.
• Paris Hilton's Cellphone! Hacked! (The content they SHOULD have found)
• The first look at the trailer for Paul Haggis' directorial debut CRASH, starring Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, Matt Dillon, and Ryan Phillippe.
  • A Brentwood housewife and her DA husband. A Persian store owner. Two police detectives who are also lovers. An African-American television director and his wife. A Mexican locksmith. Two car-jackers. A rookie cop. A middle-aged Korean couple... They all live in Los Angeles. And during the next 36 hours, they will all collide ... er - Crash
  • Or maybe that's the plot for Two Days in the Valley.
  • Or Short Cuts
  • or Amores Perros
  • whatever ...
• Here is a full five minute clip from Man of the House, the film with Tommy Lee as a gruff federal agent guarding cheerleaders. (Polish up the statuettes for that one.)
• The latest news on Basic Instinct 2. Sharon Stone is doing her leg-crossing exercises. I don't know - she's kind of old. Maybe she should use a stunt cunt.
• The hacker who splashed the contents of Paris Hilton's T-MOBILE Sidekick has struck again:
  The self-described 'T-MOBILE TERRORIST' has turned even more vicious -- by unleashing a 3-minute hardcore sex videophone capture of Limp Bizkit rocker Fred Durst. The hardcore video -- with audio -- shows Durst engaging in unprotected sex with a female. The graphic ''T-MOBILE TERRORIST' is seen throughout the clip."
• Oh, no - a new family vacation comedy starring Robin Williams
• Kraft draws ire for candy shaped like road kill. I tried to draw ire once, but it looked too much like Connecticut.
• Scientists invent glow in the dark mouse. Still no solution for global hunger.
• The French trailer and a clip from Gregg Araki's new film, Mysterious Skin: "'Mysterious Skin' explores the hearts and minds of two very different boys who turn out not to be as different as they appear. Brian is a troubled 18 year-old, who grew up a scared, introverted kid in the small town of Hutchinson, Kansas. Plagued by nightmares and terrified of the dark, Brian believes that he may have been the victim of an alien abduction. Neil McCormick is the ultimate beautiful outsider, wise beyond his years and curious about his developing sexuality. Eventually, Neil's pursuit of what he thinks is love leads him to New York City, while Brian's search for what happened leads him to Neil - together, both ultimately discover the truth."
• FCC rejects complaint involving 'Angel' . Heaven knows why this is news. The complaint was just a nuisance filing to begin with. I think the FCC rules should be changed so that unsuccessful complainants have to pay the fines that the show would have faced if guilty.
• The Smoking Gun's Oscar tribute: Hooray For Hollywood
  • "Our favorite confidentiality agreement, the one Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman once had their household employees sign;
  • Roman Polanksi's perversions;
  • Sharon Stone's demands;
  • Jack Nicholson's hooker problems;
  • Winona Ryder's probation report;
  • Christian Slater's drug rampage;
  • Ben Affleck's voting record;
  • Matthew McConaughey's naked bongoing;
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones's diet and topless photo beefs;
  • Bud Abbott's porno stash;
  • Lou Costello's porno stash;
  • Linda Fiorentino's nudity rider;
  • Diane Lane's modest proposals;
  • Tom Cruise's heterosexual exhortation;
  • Barbra Streisand's paparazzi rant;
  • Roddy McDowall's pirated films;
  • Mark Wahlberg's youthful indiscretions.
• Both Sides Rest in Blake Murder Case
• Pope watch.
• One cynic honors another: Hunter Thompson - The minuteman of the Rockies. By Christopher Hitchens
• Daily Show: President Bush continues his European Placation
• Will Boston's Fleet Center be (temporarily) renamed The Derek Jeter Arena?
• ESPN.com's Page 3 gets the jump on Scoopy Jr with their latest poll "Hottest actress in a sports film". I assume they mean "Who is the hottest actress at this particular moment who happens to have been in a sports movie at some time in her life?", as opposed to "Which actress has been the hottest within an actual sports movie?". If they did mean the latter, here are a few they missed:
  • Of course, they missed the obvious winner, Leah Thompson in All the Right Moves
  • Helen Shaver in Rowing Through
  • Ali Larter in Varsity Blues
  • Jenny McCarthy in Baseketball
  • Cynthia Gibb in Youngblood
  • Sanaa Lathan in Love and Basketball
  • Vanessa Angel in Kingpin
• The ten most expensive cars available in the USA. Hint: the Rolls Royce Phantom limps in at #5, and the most expensive Lamborghini is only #7
• Turn your Xbox into a XXXBox
• Problem: can't afford both a voodoo doll and a storage utensil for your kitchen knives. Solution: get the only tool that does both!
• The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation
• 35 NBA players traded, including Webber to Sixers
• Penelope Cruz says she grew so much body hair for her latest film that no one recognized her. In fact, several people asked her for Ed Asner's autograph.
• British courts deny Christian schools the right to administer corporal punishment. The petitioners had cited the biblical verse (Proverbs 54-40 or Fighteth) which says, "Yea, must thou administer, in thy mercy, a flat hand to both bare buttocks simultaneously in a firm controlled manner. Then shalt thou caress the buttocks to restore their purity. Then shalt thou retire to a private area where thy spirit might be becalmed."
• Studios File 3rd Round of Movie Piracy Lawsuits, pinpoint their losses at "a zillion jillion dollars" while holding pinky to lips.
• Humankind has settled in some strange places. The tiny town of Ny Alesund is at 78 degrees North latitude. I wonder if anybody there has an internet connection to read this paragraph. More amazing than the fact that people live there is the fact that cruise ships stop there! My kind of cruise - to hell with those Caribbean wimps! Ny Alesund is a full two day sail through frigid waters from the northernmost point in Norway - to spend six hours in a place with a few modest buildings. Par - TAY!
• Ten great bar bets.
• Condi dresses for her role in Matrix Four
• President Bush Reaffirms America's Commitment to Exhausting All Diplomatic Options Prior to Unleashing a Righteous Thermonukular Holocaust on Iran (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
• "Sideways" boosts Pinot Noir sales, but fails to bust Merlot.
• A blind man who bit his guide dog has been charged with animal cruelty.
• The Daily Show: "Secretly taped conversations with George Bush reveal... he's said some pretty reasonable things."
• The latest project for Scarlett Johansson
• APOD: Saturn's "Dragon Storm"
• Teri Hatcher says she once considered paying for sex. Yeah, she kept callin' me, but I needed more than a sawbuck. Was that so wrong?
• Julian McMahon has revealed he is on a shortlist of two to become the next James Bond. The other is believed to be Clint Howard.
• JoBlo.com awards the Golden Schmoes for 2004

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.

A mega-post from the Ghost!

First up, some assorted video clips. (all zipped .wmvs as usual)

From the excellent British romantic comedy "Love Actually". Ok, so it's kind of a chic flick, but it's one that guys can watch too. Personally I enjoy this movie very much. Especially because of Bill Nighy's scene stealing performance as a washed-up rock star trying to make a comeback.

• The incredibly cute Joanna Page playing a nude stand-in. (1, 2)
• Heike Makatsch, the German actress looking absolutely sizzling after stripping down to her red undies.
• Laura Linney, the multi-Oscar nominee briefly topless.

Next up, here is the always sexy and exotic Charlotte Lewis baring her bum and showing some partial breast views while making out with James Spader in a hot tub in scenes from "Storyville" (1992).

• Charlotte Lewis

Here is Greta Scacchi also baring little bit of breasts and bum in scenes from the intelligent and wonderfully moving Canadian film "The Red Violin".

• Greta Scacchi

Next up we have UK actress Natasha Richardson showing toplessness and far off frontal views in scenes from the 1988 "Patty Hearst".

• Natasha Richardson

Sexy sci-fi babe Lexa Doig, topless in a dark love scene from the direct-to-vid thriller, "No Alibi".

• Lexa Doig

Closing out the assorted goodies...here is Kristin Scott Thomas topless and briefly full frontal in scenes from "The English Patient" (1996)

• Kristin Scott Thomas (1, 2)

Part 2 of today's mega-post...the Skinemax section! Featuring 'caps and clips from the Fred Olen Ray flick "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold" (1995). This is of course is Ray's tribute to the 1958 sci-fi classic "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman".

• J.J. North is the 60 foot centerfold. We see her robo-hooters, plus a bit of bum. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• J.J. North zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Raelyn Saalman, also topless. (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Skinemax regular Nikki Fritz topless in a brief and completely gratuitous scene.
• Nikki Fritz zipped .wmv.

• Here is former Penthouse Pet turned porn star Tammy Parks posing topless and looking good in a bikini. (1, 2, 3)

• North, Saalman and Parks all posing topless during a photo shoot at the beach. (1, 2)
• Beach photo shoot zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

• North, Saalman and Parks zipped .wmvs. Once again all 3 are topless and posing. This time for a photo shoot at the studio. (1, 2, 3)

FCC DOESN'T RULE THE WORLD
They're Agitated Now - Federal Judge Harry Edwards ruled that the Federal Communications Commission overstepped its power by requiring digital TV devices, such as DVD players, to recognize copy protection software. The FCC argued that they could regulate the reception of TV and not just its transmission, since Congress didn't specifically forbid it. The judge told them "ancillary powers" doesn't mean the FCC gets "to rule the world." He asked if they thought the FCC could regulate washing machines, since Congress didn't specifically forbid it.