Sunday

Bloodrayne (2005):

Uwe Boll - you magnificent bastard.

 

Kristanna Loken  (zipped .wmv)

 

La Vida secreta de las palabras (2005)

I haven't seen it, but this is career-best nudity from Sarah Polley.

"A nurse gives up her first holiday in years and instead travels out to an oil rig, where she cares for a man suffering from severe burns." Variety's summary and review

 

Sarah Polley  (zipped .avi)

 

 


Other Crap:

Uwe Boll defends his movies. "Let's be realistic, what is House of the Dead? A brainless shooter, where you shoot zombies into pieces. So what are you expecting from the movie, Schindler's List?" . I was expecting not only Schindler's List, but the Spanish Inquisition as well. I have vowed never to let the Spanish Inquisition take me by surprise.

Brokeback of the Dead

VIDEO: Nude Figure Skating. I'd watch the Olympics if skating worked like this.

The Great McDonald's Sign Prank

SI.com - 2006 Swimsuit Edition

Requiem For A Toy Story

Britney Spears Catches Hubby K-Fed Undressed at His Ex's House

The trailer and five clips from Doing Time for Patsy Cline

  • A 17-year-old country-and-western singer leaves the outback of New South Wales to seek fame and fortune in Sydney. En route he encounters an unscrupulous pair and becomes entangled in a crime that alters his destiny.

Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents Blue Desert, with rare pre-Friends nudity from Courteney Cox.

The trailer for Stick It

  • "The writer of the hit comedy 'Bring It On,' takes on the world of competitive gymnastics in 'Stick It'. Haley Graham (Missy Peregrym) is a rebellious 17 year-old who is forced to return to the regimented world of gymnastics after a run-in with the law. A judge sentences Haley to her ultimate nightmare -- attending an elite gymnastics academy run by legendary hardnosed coach Burt Vickerman (Jeff Bridges). Haley's rebellious spirit and quick-witted banter quickly shakes things up at the strict school � making both close friends and bitter foes along the way. Haley surprises herself as she discovers an unexpected ally in the form of her new coach, and learns respect is a two-way street. Haley, Vickerman, and a group of his elite athletes band together to confront a major championship and prove that loyalty, friendships and individual athletes matter more than rules, judges or scores."

Barney Fife Dies at 81

  • Cool TV trivia: only three shows have stopped production after a year as #1 in the ratings. Can you name them? Obviously, Knotts was in one. That and the other two are identified in the Knotts obit

Submitter wrote: I remember wondering how Gary Busey, could have lent himself to a Turkish anti-American propaganda film (Valley of Wolves: Iraq). Then I saw this, and came to the conclusion that the Turkish film is a step up for him.

  • Scoop's note: I actually fast-forwarded through The Gingerdead Man in my usually weekly search for nudity in all the new releases. Busey only has about a minute on screen. After that, he is merely the voice of the tiny murderer, ala Brad Dourif in Child's Play. Come to think of it, Gingerdead Man is pretty much the same movie as Child's Play!
  • The director, Charles Band, is a B-movie legend. He has produced and/or directed more than 200 films, beginning with the immortal cinema classic, Last Foxtrot in Burbank.

Daily Box Office - Friday, February 24, 2006

  • TYLER PERRY'S MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION completely kicked ass. It was expected to do well, but probably not that well - as much as the next three films added together!
  • Running Scared and Doogal were quite weak

How would marijuana be grown by a James Bond villain?

Fantastic, heart-warming news story: "Autistic basketball player creates mayhem at game". This is no fluke like the kid hit an accidental basket. He turned into Dr Fucking J out there! 

Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents The Boy in Blue, with nudity from Melody Anderson and Cynthia Dale, neither of whom got naked very often.

BrokeBack Bowling Alley

Cheney slays 4 in Olympic biathlon

"Reconsidering Slavery- Economic Benefits of Enforced Servitude for Excess Population Units."

H&R Block Inc filed an inaccurate tax return

Headline of the day: "Mini-Mart Clerk Microwaves Severed Penis"

Huge anti-piracy push by MPAA against bittorrent sites and newsgroup aggregators

  • "In all, nine indexing sites have been targeted (Isohunt.com, BTHub.com and TorrentBox.com all owned by one individual.) BitTorrent: ISOHunt, TorrentSpy, NiteShadow.com, BTHub.com and TorrentBox.com; eDonkey2000: Ed2k-It.com; Newsgroups: NZB-Zone.com, BinNews.com and DVDRs.net."

Sheryl Crow Undergoes Surgery for Breast Cancer, and the prognosis for a full recovery is excellent

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Here's Tuna's review from Naked World (2003)  (pictures in yesterday's edition)

Perhaps some of you remember the documentary "Naked States" where photographer Spencer Tunick photographed throngs of naked people in cities in each of the 50 states. This sequel follows him on a world tour. This time, he is working on two projects, He continues to work on what he calls installations, the huge throngs of naked people, but is also doing individual environmental portraits, again contrasting the naked human body with cityscapes.

Although he shot in over 30 countries, the documentary was edited down to New York, Montreal, London, Galloway, Paris, St. Petersburg, Tokyo, Melbourne, Capetown, Antarctica and Sao Paulo. This documentary did a better job of revealing his creative process. We see him searching for locations and camera angles, and talking about what did and didn't work. He comments that being the subject of a documentary is disastrous for an artist for two reasons. First, you see all of his mistakes, and second, it takes away from the mystique artists have. He pointed out that not every one of his photos has to be a work of art or a masterpiece, as long as they contribute toward a body of work that, together, creates the visual narrative he is after.

The cultural attitudes he encountered were also very interesting to me. The French accept nudity in art with no problem, but very few were willing to pose for him and the only place the crew had legal problems was in Paris. In Melbourne, it was not at all difficult to get volunteers. In most places, those who refused cited moral reasons, or cultural taboos as a reason for declining, but in South Africa, they wanted money to pose. In Japan, people feared for their jobs if they posed naked in public. In Brazil, men were very willing to pose naked, but women were tougher to convince. One man explained that it would be a disgrace for them to be naked in public.

IMDb readers say 6.5. If you enjoy photography, or naked bodies, this one is worth a rental. If you are serious about photography, you will want to see it.

 

Divorce Law - The Cop, The Congressman, His Wife and Her Publisher (1993)

This episode only has one case. A congressman is suing for divorce on grounds of adultery. His wife (Raven Burgen) had sex with a policeman who responded to The Bearded Clam Motel, and found her masturbating with a defective dildo. She was in the process of writing her memoirs for a publishing company, which was a little strange, in that she didn't have many. A woman first poses as a relative of the junior congressman, and offers one attorney pictures of the congressman having sex with an underage boy. She turns down the photos. The same woman (Malanie Rose), approached another partner as the publisher, and offered him the same photos. When he accepted, she had sex with him. Turned out to be a publishing company plot to make sure both biographies sold well.

Burgen showed breasts, and Rose showed breasts and buns.

This was the weakest of all of the episodes.

Raven Burgen

Scoop's notes: this woman is called Raven Burgen in this episode and Raven Burger in the episode Maid to Order. Neither of those is anyone's real name. "Raven Burgen" doesn't even get one hit at Google!! Do any of you know who she really is?

Also, yesterday's episode featured someone named Christie Peralta, also a pseudonym.  Anyone know who she really is?

Malanie Rose

 

The Love Merchant (1996)

The Love Merchant is an early Joe Sarno effort. The plot would be considered a blatant rip-off of Indecent Proposal, except that Indecent Proposal came out 27 years later.

Joanna Mills is a Greenwich Village painter and free spirit. She and her sometimes boyfriend (Jim Chisholm) entertain guests from Vermont: her conservative best friend from high school (Loraine Claire), and her equally square new husband, advertising agency owner George Wolf.  They go to an upscale go-go club where millionaire Judson Todd  decides he has to have Claire. He offers Claire a proposal. He will get her husband out of town for 48 hours with a $200K contract in California if she will spend the time in bed with Todd.

This film does show some of Sarno's fabled understanding of, and respect for women, and does feature Sarno's trademark jazz trio score, but the pace is languid, and even the eroticism is limited. Sarno clearly felt constrained by the American censorship laws in 1966. It was shot entirely with New York actresses who exposed only their breasts, and even that exposure is brief. Sarno would later go to Europe and make more erotic films without the ever-present fear of being prosecuted on pandering charges. 

This is a C-, and then only for those interested in the history of erotic film.

It is too obscure for IMDb readers to have an opinion.

We have breast exposure from Joanna Mills, Loraine Claire, Annette Godette, Cleo Nova and Penni Payton.

 

Joanna Mills

Loraine Claire

Annette Godette

Cleo Nova

Penni Payton

 
 

 

 



First up today we take a look at "Break Up".

Bridget Fonda shows some nips in the opening scene as the credits roll.

Penelope Ann Miller in her slip.

Then we move on to "Hammerhead" for a couple of "Babes in Bondage". Sadly no real skin.

Asia Hristova is strapped down as the evil Doctors deliver her baby that was fathered by a Shark-Man. You read that right.

Hunter Tylo some cleavage and then those evil Doctors have her suspended over the Shark tank in her underwear, ready for some more breeding. She is rescued before the deed is done.

 

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on The House Where Evil Dwells:

In 1971, Susan George was female lead in a movie destined to be a classic, Straw Dogs. In 1982, she was female lead in this horror movie, which never will. The story has promise, but the movie doesn't really fulfill that promise.

In 1840 Japan, a samurai comes home to find his wife with another man. Not known for their sense of humor, the samurai kills the lover, the wife, and then himself.

Switching to present day (well, 1982, anyway), an American family moves into the house, which has been standing vacant. They start to experience incidents of haunting, then as things get worse, possession. This all leads to what could have been a cool and shocking ending, except the moviemakers just didn't pull it off all that well.

It is a decent story, but the execution was lame and even comedic in parts, although the story was certainly not intended to be a comedy. While I didn't hate it, I wished they had done a better job.

Mako Hattori Susan George

 

 

 

 

"The Long Weekend" (2005)

This is a sex comedy filmed in Canada which stretches the bounds of bad taste, as if Wedding Crashers had been created by Tom Green.  If a horse sporting a full erection is not bad enough, the movie has dozens of home movie video blooper inserts much too graphic for America's Funniest Home Videos: flaming farts, monkeys jacking off, dogs humping cows, people getting killed and maimed, etc.

(1) Catherine Devine - as "naked girl"

(2) Holly Eglington - (robo-hooters)

(3) Ildiko Ferenczi - (stroking large gun)

(4) Jennifer Walther - (beavercam)

(5) Jordana Frost - (hamstercam)

(6) Nicole McKay is caught with a mouthful of sperm

(7) Angelika Baran has some sperm dripping down her thigh after having sex

(8) Chandra West - mega cleavage

(9) Cobie Smulders - mega cleavage

(10) Chelan Simmons - mega cleavage

(11) Deanna Smith - mega cleavage

(12) Evangeline Lilly - as an attractive corpse

(13) Agnes M. Laan, Evelina Ortynski, and Olivia Young as topless waitresses

(14) Unknown woman losing her bikini top in a video insert

 

 

Barbara Williams in Oh, What a Night!