Tuesday

Mailbox:

Hi, Scoopy:

This collage of Maribel Verdu

 is from the Spanish movie "Sinatra" (1988).

 http://imdb.com/title/tt0096111/

Regards,
Flautista
 

Odds and Ends:

  • This is WKRP's Jan Smithers (Bailey) on Battle of the Network Stars, wearing a bathing suit, and getting dunked by Dick van Patten - as announced by Cosell! No real nudity, but fun nostalgia, and who didn't have a crush on her? (zipped .avi)

  • Jessica Biel hasn't done any screen nudity even though she posed for a nude magazine layout. She comes kinda close in this clip from London. (zipped .avi)

  • Bridget Fonda's booty is not visible in the widescreen DVD of Jackie Brown, but was seen quite clearly, in its entirety, in the full screen VHS version. (zipped .avi)

  • One of our all-time faves, Virginia Madsen in one of her sexiest roles, in Gotham. (zipped .wmv)

 

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

Tuna has this one nailed today (see below), so I just did some leftover stuff. Movie House page here.

This is a surprisingly explicit gyno-cam shot of an unnamed extra.

This is a composite of two frames of Rachel Blanchard, notable because it shows her pubes and breasts together.

This is the last frame of an Alison Lohman sequence, before the cutaway.

This was the best I could do to get an enlarged gyno-cam shot of Rebecca Davis. The shot, indeed the entire scene, is "hazy"

 


Other Crap:

President Bush's Remarks on Totally Safe Fire Sale of American Ports to Arab Nation We're Desperately Trying to Bribe Into Not Blowing Us Up (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)  

"Distillery to Revive 184-Proof Whisky"  

What was the most cringe-worthy movie moment of 2005?

  • There were four moments creepier than Bob Hoskins' nude scene?

A teenage guitarist got so carried away while bouncing up and down on his bed that be bounced of a window to his death

  • He was allegedly mimicking a rock guitarist

The trailer for Think Tank, a new comedy which seems to have a similar sense of humor to Napoleon Dynamite

Kimmel's Unnecessary Censorship: Feb 24th  

Weird shit of the day: A Movie In Which Sock Puppets Do Drugs  

Diebold whistle-blower charged with stealing their confidential info!

  • "Although state law protects whistle-blowers from retaliation by their employers, they can still be criminally prosecuted
  • I don't believe there is a jury in the country who would convict this guy. I'll be shocked if the jurors don't give him a standing ovation.

The R-rated trailer from Slither

BoingBoing banned in UAE, Qatar, elsewhere. Our response to net-censors: Get bent!

Wisconsin Thieves make off with $26,000 of beer

The R-rated trailer for The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things

  • "From cult author J.T. LeRoy's best-selling novel 'The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things,' comes Asia Argento's bold cinematic adaptation of the controversial story of a mother and her son living hard and fast in the dark fringes of America."
  • NOTE: JT Leroy was supposed to be a boy who started writing at age 16, and his works were supposed to be semi-autobiographical. It turned out that he never existed at all. The stories are complete fiction, and were written by a 40-year-old woman.

Coming Soon has three new clips from the remake of The Hills Have Eyes

BIN LADEN TO RUN U.S. POSTAL SERVICE ... White House Defends Latest Deal

  • “Osama bin Laden is eminently qualified to run the U.S. Postal Service,” Mr. Cheney told reporters. “For one thing, he’s already disgruntled.”

'Da Vinci Code' Court Case Opens in London

  • The authors of the 1982 nonfiction book "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail," are suing publisher Random House, Inc. over the allegation that parts of their work formed the basis of Dan Brown's novel.
  • I'm not sure how they could have any case. Many works of fiction are based on some work of (real or alleged) non-fiction. Shakespeare himself based plays on Holinshed's Chronicles and North's translations of Plutarch. As part of his research, Brown took some of their claims and wrote a story based upon them in part. It seems to me that Shakespeare's relationship to Holinshed's Chronicles is precisely the same as Brown's relationship to the litigants' book, and that doesn't sound like copyright infringement to me. It sounds like research.
  • The British courts may see it a different way, but to me it sounds like a couple of guys trying to make a fast buck because Brown's book was a financial phenomenon.

McCloud dies at 81

  • He was a Hollywood anomaly - married to the same woman for 60 years

Gazillions of Brokeback Mountain Parodies Brokeback Team America??

Does Bode care about the Olympics?

URL says it all: TheSimpsonsQuotes.com

  • "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. "

Commercial for a UK Gun Shop! (Excellent ending!)

Study finds all Olympians find other countries national anthems stupid

London cops find George Michael "slumped over the steering wheel of a car allegedly littered with drugs."

SUPREME COURT ORDERS WHITE MOVIEGOERS BUSSED TO "MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION"

NICK LACHEY MARRIES AND DIVORCES ASHLEE SIMPSON OVER WEEKEND. Nick also seeks spousal support.

Dateline Hollywood unveils their new movie critic.

A trailer for The Outsider, a documentary about renegade filmmaker James Toback.

SADDAM SENTENCED TO BE PRESIDENT OF IRAQ Angry Hussein Demands Retrial

Scientists calculate that money DOES buy happiness.

Idol' contestant strikes poses for Maxim

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic

  • "Pure masturbatory horseshit."
  • "Sometimes a movie's title tells you it's gonna be more full of itself than one of those contortionists who can suck his own dick. The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada is just that. Not the contortionist; that would have been more entertaining. I mean the movie. It stinks of vanity the way an 82-year-old lady does of cheap perfume and soggy diaper."

Drew Lachey Wins 'Dancing With the Stars', just edging out Tom Arnold and the late Sebastian Cabot

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

Where the Truth Lies (2005) is Atom Egoyan's attempt to make a Giallo, but using his usual methodology, and highlighting his favorite theme of dealing with loss. In this case, it was the death of a young woman in the hotel suite of a comedy team clearly patterned after Martin and Lewis. Nobody was sure she was murdered, the comedians seemed to have airtight alibis, and the event has long since passed, but the comedy duo split up permanently, seemingly as a result of this death. Thus, this death caused many "loses." There was the girl's mother, who lost her, and her father, who lost his mind over it and committed suicide over it. There was the best friends/comedy act losing each other over it, and before the film ends, the main character loses her childhood hero.

In good Egoyan style, he slowly unwraps the story in layers, much like peeling an onion, and the chronology is not linear. The pace, as is usual with his films, is relaxed. Unfortunately, there is little depth to each layer to hold interest, and he put his audience to sleep long before what was actually a surprise ending. (The identity of the murderer is a surprise, even if the reason for the break-up is not.)

The story was a raunchy potboiler at heart, about two comedians who held nightly orgies, and survived their yearly telethon with pills and booze. The first problem is that we start the film with the knowledge that the girl was dead, and know where she was found. Further, at no point in the story was anyone else threatened or in any kind of jeopardy. Even after the whodunit is solved, there are no consequences. That doesn't leave much room for suspense. So lacking suspense, it would have been necessary to load the film up with sex and nudity. Egoyan has never shied away from sex and nudity, but had very little given the story. In fact, each nude scene was required by the plot.

His leading lady, Alison Lohman, supposedly an ambitious wannabe writer who will stop at nothing to get at the truth was horribly miscast. She looked like Bambi and sounded like Melanie Griffith. Colin Firth and Kevin Bacon were improbable choices for the Martin/Lewis team, and the so-called comedy material they performed on stage was not good at all, making it hard to believe that they had been famous.

Had this been made by a new director, or even one I didn't admire so much, I would probably not have been as disappointed. The film is not without plusses, mainly in what is called production value. Some of the scenes were hang-on-the-wall beautiful, and the nudity featured attractive people in good light, although the sex scenes failed to generate any heat. Critics were unkind, some going so far as to say that Atom had become a B sleaze director, others claiming that he lost his touch. I don't think either is true. The script called for the nudity and sex, and the film craft is fine. It's just that storytelling simply doesn't work. The story was simply not suitable for an Egoyan approach. It would have taken a genre master to make a successful whodunit out of this one, and Egoyan's peculiar hybrid of whodunit and melodrama will not please many. Egoyan fans will miss the depth; sleaze fans will be disappointed by the level of nudity and sex; mystery fans will find a complete lack of mystery and suspense.

 

Alison Lohman

Rebecca Davis

Rachel Blanchard

Kristin Adams

 

Scoop's note: the Divorce Law series continues tomorrow. Tuna had one for today, but I asked him to do Where The Truth Lies instead, since the DVD hits the shelves today.

 
 

 

 



We start off today with "Dunsmore" which is a movie about the murder of the town bully and the investigation that follows. Not too bad. It held my interest.

Alicia Lagano shows breasts while teasing her boyfriend  by climbing up a tree and removing her top.

Then we took the old Time Machine back to 1977 for "The Deep," and Jacqueline Bisset, who appears in a see-through top in underwater scenes, and then again when she comes out of the water. Sexy, to say the least.

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Domino:

Anticipation is the Mother of disappointment. I was really looking forward to seeing this 2005 action adventure loosely based on the life of Domino Harvey, but directory Tony Scott's decision to make the visual part almost unwatchable with heavy saturation, off-color filters, overlays and camera motion, and a ton of other visual effects, made it very hard to like. The story and action were great, however.

Domino Harvey, played very well by Keira Knightley, was the daughter of actor Laurence Harvey. She had a successful career as a Ford model, but grew bored with the glitterati scene and became a bounty hunter.

There's plenty of action and general ass-kicking when the crew of bounty hunters she's with becomes involved chasing a gang of armored car robbers, who are in turn being chased by the mob and the FBI. Throw in a crazed TV producer, a not-totally-honest bail bondsman, and a terminally ill young girl, and you have a fun ride, if you could only see it.

The cast was great, story and script were exciting, and I just wish they'd had a director that wanted to make a movie people could actually see. It's well worth watching, but be prepared to be really annoyed at the visual quality. Incidentally, the real Domino Harvey died June 2005 of an accidental drug overdose.

 

Keira Knightley

 

Dana Plato in Compelling Evidence

Brigitte Nielsen - young and brunette, with a natural chest

Carla Gugino in high definition caps from Sin City. Impressive.


Pat's comments in yellow...

Jessica Simpson is blaming the producers of her MTV reality show "Newlyweds" for making people think she's a dumb blonde."  She told FemaleFirst.com, "People should know there was a script of sorts, and I just played that role.  I am nothing like that character."

*  She played it so convincingly, she must be the greatest actress in the
world!  Why is she doing "The Dukes of Hazzard" instead of "Hamlet"? 
 

The Bill Clinton Presidential Foundation in New York is advertising for interns.  They are seeking "candidates who are diligent, resourceful, professional and intellectually curious," and who want to gain "hands-on experience" by "interacting directly" with Clinton's staff.  It's an unpaid position, and there are 25 openings.

*  And you must be willing to lick them all.

*  Also, you must be able to fit under a desk.

*  Looks like Clinton's staff is ready to grow!