Tuesday




TV Recap

A couple more minor nude scenes from last weekend's TV:

Emily Bergl in Shameless, s5e7



Jen Viens in Helix, s2e6





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"Borgia"

season two in 1080hd

today: episode eleven

Stephanie Caillard














 


"House of Cards"

s3e1

Olivia Luccardi





 








The Director's Cut

(2009)

The Director's Cut is a 2009 slasher comedy where a film crew go to a remote property in Western Australia to make a cheapie horror movie (ha! it's meta). Led by an insufferable director Mike (Jonathan Wood), his trusty producer offsider Bobby (Mollie King) and the cinematographer Jed (David Maguire), things start badly when one of the actors loses his fingers in an accident and is replaced by the gun crazy armourer who seems overly keen to be there. The lead actor Louis (Renato Fabretti) is already trying to get with all the girls including the lead actress Emma Ema (with one M) (Jennieka Chattelle) and the Scottish assistant Fortune (Melanie Munt). They arrive at the property, not before losing another member and then the next morning when they start shooting Mike and Jed find the other Mike died in his sleep, but they decide instead of calling off shooting to just say he's sick and continue on. Then, the killings start by someone wearing a koala suit. One by one the cast and crew are killed, but who is the killer? No really, who is the killer? The movie decides to leave it wide open which is great except the film is a complete mess with issues by the bucketful. There's an actor/actress that plays two roles and who is clearly made out to be the killer, but they are killed along the way. Characters just plain disappear, most notably Louis who one moment is in the last 3, then is promptly never seen again in what is continuity gone mad. Plus wasn't this supposed to be a horror comedy because when the killings start, the movie sure turns deadly serious. A not completely bad movie and definitely watchable, but a complete mess nonetheless.

Jennieka Chattelle film clip (sample below)




The Gates of Hell

(2008)


The Gates of Hell is a 2008 horror movie where, you're not going to believe this, a film crew go to a remote property that used to be an orphanage to make a cheapie horror movie. Led by the director Kyle (Michael Piccirilli), his assistant Leah (Samantha Noble, sadly only acted in an episode of Fringe, starring her father, since) and cameraman (Bradley Tomlinson) and starring lovers Dylan (Christian Clark) and Maddy (Amy Beckwith), the begin filming after illegally entering the property and break into the old house, which apart from the cobwebs, looks great. Inside, they find an audio tape where someone dictates their last words before committing suicide including saying that he is ashamed of giving up his child. That night as they camp outside, the killings start and as the cast and crew are killed off one by one, the horrifying truth about the place becomes very clear.

Hmm, clocking in at 69 minutes plus a ridiculously long 9 minute triple spaced end credits (double space would've cut 3 minutes at least), The Gates of Hell feels too long even at that length. All bar one of the cast is dead by 40 minutes and all in less than 15 minutes, then there's an overwrought explanation to why this is happening that still doesn't explain much. There's also another character who turns up for no other reason than to perform a prank and be slaughtered and that seems out of step with the rest of the movie amazingly. Hard to believe that a 69 minute horror movie could be mostly boring, but this one does it so well. Also, apparently Emma Lung is listed to be in this movie, but she's not in it at all, not even credited in the 24 hour credit sequence with most of humanity.

The Gates of Hell has never been released here in Australia with most Australian horror movies usually dealt a bad hand here (see also Raven's Cabin above). I got this DVD from France (you'll see some French subtitles in the clip below) and it isn't the best quality. It joins other never to released in Australia horror movies like Voodoo Lagoon and the never ever been released anywhere Enemies Closer, Devil's Gateway and 10 Days To Live (starring Clare Bowen), all movies starring fairly known actors too.


Amy Beckwith film clip (sample below)












TV and Film Clips

Holly Weston in Assassin (2014)



Brooke Lawless in Cassadaga (2011) in 1080p



Pics and Collages

Christine Teigen photoshoot



Lady Gaga in the Big Apple