Seven Blood-Stained Orchids (1971) has never had a US release of any kind until the new DVD I screened. If I said it was a Giallo, and a good one, you would get the idea, but that wouldn't be technically accurate. It was written and directed by Umberto Lenzi, who got the idea from his favorite US mystery writer from the 50's, William Irish. My education did not include this author, but after some Web research, I've decided it should have.

CORNELL WOOLRICH (aka William Irish and George Hopley) 1903-1968

Despite the fact that he will probably be forever remembered as the author of Rear Window, one of Alfred Hitchcock's most famous films, Cornell Woolrich, to mystery aficionados is the father of noir. Born in 1903 in New York City, he spent most of his childhood in revolutionary Mexico with his father who was an engineer. He studied journalism at Columbia University but left rather soon when his fiction became profitable. He wrote six novels in the manner of Scott Fitzgerald that met with tepid success. After a disastrous marriage (it was annulled when his bride found his secret diary of his homosexual escapades) and unsuccessful career as scriptwriter, he went to live with his mother in New York. His first mystery, The Bride Wore Black (1940) is the classic noir and one of the major books of the genre. More followed - especially short stories - with the characteristic that readers were never sure if the ending was going to be a happy one or a sad one. This is probably why Alfred Hitchcock and many other film makers were so attracted to his work. Woolrich is one of the most "filmed" mystery authors with Rear Window as prime example. He had much to do with the inspiration for Twilight Zone as well. He lived most of his life secluded, especially after he had his leg amputated following an untreated foot infection. Woolrich died in 1968.

Most of his work was what was popularly called pulp fiction, published in 10 cent paperbacks, but he has been the inspiration for many films. His "It Had to be Murder" became Hitchcock's Rear Window. In this case, it was his "Rendezvous in Black" that gave Lenzi the idea for Seven Blood-Stained Orchids (Sette orchidee macchiate di rosso). For more biographical information, click here. To call him colorful would be an understatement.

So, the first problem with calling this a Giallo is that it is not based on an Italian mystery, but rather on an American suspense thriller. The second problem is that it is a joint German/Italian production. Those familiar with Lenzi's more typical gore-fests will be amazed that he directed this well balanced thriller. Sure there is some gore and some nudity, but neither is excessive, and, in fact, some of the murders actually take place off camera. Each murder is by a different method, including the first use of an electric drill as a murder weapon.

Women turn up dead, and each has an amulet placed in her hand. One of the intended victims is recently married, and her husband sets out to solve the mystery. Clearly, if he finds the connection among the murdered women, it will help him learn the identity of the murderer. As I am recommending this film highly, I won't give away any more plot, other than to say that the murders are caused by a death a year and a half before the murders start. Thus, there is a logical motive for the killer, rather than resorting to the "it is a random insane serial killer" cliche. Set design is very nice, it is a Widescreen film with an excellent transfer, and even the dubbing is tolerable, compared to the usual in Italian films. Recent interviews are included on the DVD with Lenzi, and actress Gabriella Giorgelli. From the Where are they Now? notebook, see Giorgelli image 19 for a look at her in the recent interview. Her most recent credit at IMDB is from 1999. Her 37 year career gives her 63 credits.

Giorgelli, despite playing a nearly cameo role as a hooker who is murdered, has the best exposure, with many shots of her breasts, and most of her buns in panties. Marina Malfatti shows breasts as another victim, in what is one of the eerier scenes in the film, where she is surrounded by poisoned and dying pet cats as the killer is stalking her in her apartment. Several unknowns also show breasts at a party. IMDB readers have this at 6.7 of 10. No reviews are available, but IMDB comments are highly favorable. This is a timeless mystery thriller in the Hitchcock tradition, and is presented in a beautiful transfer for the first time in the US. Even if you generally dislike Giallo, you may well like this one. B-.

Movies:

The Outsider (2002- TV)

The Outsider is a small-budget Western. It stars not one but two Carradines and Tim Daly, facts which should fix its place in the hierarchy for you. IMDb says it was made for TV.

Naomi Watts stars as a Quaker wife whose community is quietly, decently raising sheep on land that they legally homesteaded.

I don't have to tell you the next bit. Same as always. Mr. Rich Cattleman tears down all their fences to run his cattle, and insists that the land is his and has always been his, since his great grandpappy worked it in the time of the Caesars. The cattle baron and his gang of roughnecks then proceed to shoot a bunch of sheep, whereupon Mr Cattleman offers to buy the farm from Naomi's husband. The husband refuses, Mr Cattleman strings him up as a cattle thief, and Naomi is left as a helpless widow with a small boy and a bunch of sheep. The Cattle Dude figures that Naomi must sell to him at that point.

Now I don't have to tell you that the plot supplies a convenient deus ex machina to save the day for her, but I do have to tell you precisely what it is. Tim Daly is the world's greatest gunslinger, fastest gun in the West, and he is wandering around dazed and injured somewhere on Naomi's land.

We now return to the regularly scheduled parts that I don't need to tell you about. She nurses him back to health, and ....  Well, as I said, you know the rest.

Tim Daly and Naomi Watts are surprisingly good in this movie, but there was nothing they could have done to overcome the script, and it is way, way, way too long (119 minutes) for a film with nary an original thought

There was some good news:

• Daly has a painting somewhere that is aging in his place. He was 46 years old here, and looks 10 years younger.
• Watts took off her shirt briefly, first time since Mulholland Drive, I think (1, 2)

Mailbox:

Scoop:

IMHO Jenny Agutter had one of the great nude careers.  I first saw her in 'The Railway Children' - a popular kids film here in England - in which she removes her red bloomers to wave at a train in order to make it stop before it hits an obstruction (no exposure alas) and it was a few years before I saw her in 'Walkabout' when - WHAMMO - she's full frontal.  What I didn't appreciate at the time was that she made Walkabout before she made Railway Children (and IIRC, she was 16 when she made Walkabout).

After that, she seemed to have a near clean sweep of nude appearances, at least in her movies which intruded into my dim, teenaged consciousness: Logan's Run, Equus, American Werewolf etc.

I live in Chelsea and about ten years ago I was sitting at a street cafe, reading the paper and drinking cappuccino, when she came and sat at the next table with her small child.  I remember thinking then that I hadn't seen her in anything recently.

However, she did pop up in a lead role on a British TV drama serial about MI5 recently.  The series was a pile of crap and I only watched one or two episodes, but she is still in good shape and clearly hasn't given up acting.

Cheers,

The Snapper
 

Note: Snapper's point about Walkabout is quite correct. The film was released after Agutter's 18th birthday, but was filmed when she was 16. If memory serves, director Nick Roeg, the old satyr, offered her the role when she was 13 or 14!!

Scoop: JILL NICOLINI (Married by America) was in the Playboy Cyber club special editions.  From that page:

"Jill Nicolini heated up the pages of Special Editions' fall 2001 College Girls issue. In February, she won the title of Miss Long Island 2002. But rather than accept the numerous rules of the pageant -- not to mention negative reactions to her Playboy pictorial -- Jill relinquished her crown. We're glad Jill stood up for her freedom of expression. And we're happy to bring you exclusive photos -- including some never-before-published images -- from Jill's College Girls photo shoot. You can see the full story on Playboy.com."

Many thanks

Other crap:

• Flashing at the Mardi Gras
• Michael Jackson paid a voodoo priest $150,000 to perform a rite entailing the slaughter of 42 cows - all to place a curse on Steven Spielberg. I take it MJ was the one person who saw "Hook". He wanted the part of Peter Pan. Come to think of it, he couldn't have been much worse than Robin Williams. This article, if accurate, shows Jacko to be a truly demented man.
• now that the Federov-Kournikova marriage/divorce is public, they are able to join ESPN's Top 10 Sports Divorces
• "Did you, for example, know that a white man, Jonas Salk, discovered the cure for polio? It's true". The Onion celebrates White History Year,
• The Two Towers is still going strong. It passed Lion King and Forrest Gump last week, and is now #7 of all time at the box office.
• Madonna has signed a deal to write five children's books. Presumably she'll use her pen name, Dr Loose. I have some suggestions for the titles: 1. Mean Old Mister Critic 2. Why you and Daddy are the same age 3. Not all handcuffs are the bad kind 4. Bi-Curious George 5. Swallow Every Drop ... of your Medicine.

  Pat Reeder had these comments about Madonna's literary career:

  • The moral: "A great press agent can rehabilitate even the world's biggest slut."
  • In them, a boy wizard named "Gary Totter" meets a girl named Hermione who teaches him how to use his wand.
  • At last, a children's book dads will never get tired of reading over and over!
  • She's also writing a rhyming book called "Horton Hears A Ho."
  • They still have to find a good actress to read the audio book.
     
• your puppy's first whorehouse
• "Screech" brings obscene rant show to Indiana college campus, gets heckled unmercifully. Screech? Top two reasons why Screech is not Chris Rock: (1) very white (2) very unfunny
• Not only Screech, but Doogie Howser is raunchy as well! Neil Patrick Harris is all gussied up to play the ambiguously sexual emcee in Cabaret.
• ya gotta love this picture of Dubya from Newsweek
• Speaking of the Prez, quick, identify who said this about the war in Iraq, "I am confident that God is with us because he is against the evil and evil-doers. Victory will be yours, God willing." It was the Sad-man. He not only wears the same shoes as Dubya, but shares the same speechwriter! According to this article, Saddam Hussein is the star of every television show in Iraq. Oh, sure, the talk shows are good, especially the Top 10 lists, but he's especially good in the sitcoms. "My conga drums destroyed by the UN because Blix thought they held concealed weapons? Oh, Loozeee - you got some 'splainin to do."
• absolutely fascinating dialect study by Harvard. Click on a word like "been" and see what parts of the country say "bin", "bean" or "ben". The most interesting finding I saw: What do you call a sweet carbonated beverage? - this question had clearly defined regional borders. Another interesting one: what do you call a long sandwich? Most say submarine - but Pennsylvania is hoagie, and New England is grinder, except for Maine, which is "Italian Sandwich". Eastern Louisiana answered "other", and I don't know what term they use there.
• Does your dad always tell you people are dumbing down? He's full of it. Over the course of IQ testing from 1916-1986, scores have steadily increased at the rate of .3 per year, based on the original norming. In other words, that's an increase of 22 points in 70 years. If you are a slightly above average guy with a 110 IQ, go back in time and take their IQ tests in 1916 with a group of people from that age, and they'll declare you a frickin' genius.
• Speaking of IQ - Rush Limbaugh was right about something. The French really ARE the dumbest people on the planet Right wingers may not take comfort, however, because the Dutch are the smartest, and they are both pro-marijuana and anti-war.
• Gallup Poll says that celebrity activism cannot affect people's opinions, but can have a negative effect on the celebrity's career. 38% of Americans have a negative attitude toward Sean Penn, 33% are negative to Charlton Heston. Charlton has no more career to ruin, but Penn may have done himself irreparable harm.
• Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas (unknowingly) sold their wedding pictures to a pornographer
• Pat Reeder sent this one in with these comments, "An obstetrician looked at Stonehenge and saw a big vagina.  This is what happens to you if you spend all day long looking at vaginas"... Story here
• The Lakeshore High School girls’ basketball team of Hart, Michigan, lost to former state champion Walkerville High School this season in a squeaker, 115-2. Melissa Hawley easily lead the Lakeshore scoring, pumping in 100% of her team's two points.
  
  
  
   

What're the odds?

Odds to win the 2003 Dubai Desert Classic Emirates Golf Club, Dubai, UAE Mar 06 - Mar 09, 2003.
Closing Date: Mar 06, 2003 00:00.

• Pam Grier the blacksploitation Queen topless in scenes from "Friday Foster" (1975).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

• Diana Gartner, subtle see-thru nipple peek.
• Delfine Bafort
• Isabelly Fontana, see-thru breast sightings.
• Natasha Vojnovic
• Natalia Vodianova, single bare breast.
• Fernanda Tavares, see-thru
• Caroline Ribeiro, see-thru nipple views.
• Grace Kelsey, baring both breasts.
• May Anderson
• Carmen Kass
• Mini Anden, single bare breast.
• Fernanda Tavares
• Jacquetta Wheeler single bare breast.

MORE MICHAEL JACKSON: VOODOO CURSES, FAKE NOSES
Oh, Please! - There's yet another Michael Jackson expose, this one by Maureen Orth of Vanity Fair. Among its claims: that Jackson paid six figures to a voodoo doctor for a cleansing bath with sheep's blood and $150,000 to another for a voodoo death curse on 25 enemies, including David Geffen and Steven Spielberg. It involved sacrificing 42 cows...That Michael is $240 million in debt, Neverland costs $4 million a year to maintain, and the amusement park rides were nearly repossessed in 2001...And that Michael wears a prosthetic nose tip and without it, he looks like a mummy with two nostril holes in his face.