Cocaine Cowboys (1979) is supposedly a cult favorite movie. I can't see why. Tom Sullivan was introduced to director Ulli Lommel by Andy Warhol. Sullivan wanted to star in a movie, and was willing to finance the project. Lommel came up with the script. In exchange for the use of his Long Island compound, Warhol was given a part. Sullivan is the leader of a rock band, which is finally beginning to make it, but has been living off of smuggling cocaine. Their manager, Jack Palance, provided the underworld connections, and the band brought in the coke from Columbia. They now want out of the dope business, and are flying one last shipment from Columbia to Montauk. The pilots see police at the airport, and drop the coke in the surf near the compound, but it disappears. The group spends the rest of the film looking for it. Palance chews on a cigar, and tries to keep the mob buyer off their tails, and Andy Warhol does Andy Warhol things, like taking Polaroid pictures and asking stupid questions.

Palance did a very good Palance impression, but Warhol did a very bad Warhol impression. The music from the band, written by Sulivan, was terrible. The exposure came from Suzanna Love, in what was probably the best scene of the film. She strips to her see-through bra, then pours baby powder on another character, while he moans in ecstasy.

IMDB readers have this at 2.5 of 10, which, as far as I am concerned, is about right. This film is so boring, they even made a shower orgy scene boring, and with no nudity. The transfer is not at all good, the pace is terrible, and their are no "good guys" in the film. E.

Movies:

The Young Nurses (1973)

What can you say about this an entry in the Roger Corman "nurse" genre? He did a bunch of these back in the 70s. Obviously, it ain't gonna be Schindler's List. You know the plot is going to be either weak or confusing and the acting will be non-existent, so I'll skip over that obvious stuff. Here are the plusses and minuses on the things that matter in the much-awarded "nurse" genre.

Pluses:

• One of the cameos comes from the guy who played Sydney on M*A*S*H. That was cool. (Allan Arbus, also known as the husband of the notorious avant garde photographer Diane Arbus)
• Pre-implant Sally Kirkland walked around briefly in a semi-transparent bra
• There is quite a bit of frontal nudity here and there -  the DVD has a full screen version, and that even has male frontal nudity, which was unheard of in a 1973 Corman film. I think it must have been lost in the widescreen theatrical projection at the time, because it is on the extreme bottom of the screen.
• The two women who provide frontal nudity (Jean Manson and Ashley Porter) are quite beautiful

  • Jean Manson is the Playmate-turned-chanteuse that woman we talked about a couple of weeks ago. She had two separate lives, one as a young Playmate and B-movie actress in America, the other as a legitimate and awarded actress in all media (stage, screen, TV), and a popular singer of all possible styles of music (C&W, Gospel, French Chanson, Opera, Broadway, you name it), and a major star - in France, of all places, despite her admitted American accent. The movie we discussed last week, 10 to Midnight, was the end of her American career. This nurse movie was the beginning. In fact, it was made in 1973, and she was the POM in August 1974, so I guess Playboy used her despite her pre-existing history of nude film appearances. I didn't realize that Hef did that in the old days.
  • Manson has three different birthdates circulating around the web. She told Playboy she was born October 1, 1950. Other sources agree on the day and month, but the year is listed variously as 1945 and 1954. It has been my experience in these cases that the more recent dates are not likely to be correct. Given those three choices, 1945 is my best guess. I'm thinking she told Playboy she was 24 when she was actually 29. I think she looks about 28 in this movie, and about 38 in 10 to Midnight, rather than 23 and 33. She was a beautiful woman (still is, in fact), and has a very distinctive, kind of mature, theatrical speaking voice. She also has a large, curved nose, but she never got a nose job, and it has always given her a distinctive, non-standard kind of beauty. You probably wouldn't peg her as a Playmate type of person, except when she takes off her shirt, at which point you would see that she definitely has the right credentials.
  • At various times in her life, she has also borne quite a strong resemblance to my first wife, Scoopy Junior's mother, and both of them starred on stage at one time or another as Aldonza in Man of la Mancha!
  • here are two samples of her singing. I listened to her sing Fais-Moi Danser, and I thought she sounded a lot like Marilyn McCoo ("(Last Night) I Didn't Get to Sleep at All."). I don't know if you like her style, but the girl can sing.
  • here's another sample of her singing
  • Here is the home page for "Jeane" Manson, as she is now known. On her home page, you can hear a sample of something that sounds like a chanson/gospel hybrid.

Minuses:

• The technical quality of the DVD is approximately equal to a fairly good VHS, no better. It has not been remastered, the print is slightly faded, and many scenes have picked up a distracting color tint over the years. (The sand on the beach was green before I started fucking with it)
• There is no widescreen theatrical version. I guess that's not really a negative when one is discussing a a nudie quickie. It would be nice to see it as it was seen on screen in the 70s, I guess, but the full screen version is the full negative, not a pan 'n scan, so we actually see MORE than was seen on screen. Given that it is not a cinema masterpiece, it's probably not that important to see the aspect ratio as the director imagined it in his grand scheme.
• One of the three starring nurses didn't do any nudity at all except a nipple-slip. The drug trafficking plot surrounding that nurse was also exceedingly confusing, although the other two nurses' stories were straightforward.
• In my opinion, crappy, cheesy movies should not take themselves seriously. This film needed a lot more humor. They got way too serious about the horrors of drug trafficking and the need for women to take charge of their own bodies with alternative clinics. It even took a pro-abortion stance, which took some cojones in 1973.  No problem, but I just wanted to see some pretty girls naked.

• Jean Manson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
• Ashley Porter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Kimberly Hyde
• Sally Kirkland
   

Other crap:

• More craziness on Married by America, and more embarrassment for Fox. One of the women is already married
• Oh, sorry, that terrorist "master of disguise" guy is not currently disguised as Ron Jeremy. Now he's John Belushi.
• Osama, on the other hand, probably beardless now, may be disguised as soccer goalie Ian Rush. I didn't think Rush looked like Osama, but he sure looks like a more macho version of Sean Penn.
• top nine signs that your neighbor may be a time-traveling alien
• Police arrest Lucky the Leprechaun for Grand Theft, but not as a cereal murderer.
• Reuters got an advance copy of Blix's written report (due Friday) Here's their article.
• couple has their third child on 03-03-03 at 3: 33. One internet wag at fark.com remarked that the baby must be the SemiChrist
• Wow - this is crazy. Try to identify the person being interviewed below BEFORE clicking on this link

• interesting article about celebrity chauffeurs - Short version: De Niro is the worst tipper; Faye Dunaway is the worst passenger.
• CBS's 60 Minutes to bring back Point-Counterpoint, with Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. That might actually be good, if they speak freely.
• Jason Rivera is the ultimate expert on Pro Wrestling. He knows the lore, and his writing is outrageous. Read his summary of the 25 RAW Moments the WWE Wants You To Forget
• Here is Jason Rivera's take on Avril Lavigne. Fun article, also includes a nekkid butt picture. (Sorry, I don't know whether it is actually Avril. I have never seen the picture before)
   

What're the odds?

This is now shaping up as a two-horse race, with a wave of Rob Marshall (Chicago) support moving him closer to Scorsese land. The other three are all long shots, despite Polanski's win at the BAFTAs against pretty much the same field.

If you've seen a Baywatch episode, then you already know what to expect...lots of very tan hot babes with fake boobs in bikinis.

• Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra. Pam, even shows off a thong view in this one.
• Gena Lee Nolin and Nicole Eggert
• Carmen Electra
• Brande Roderick and Stacy Kamano
• Angelica Bridges and Brande Roderick
• Assorted Babes

By the way, if anyone out there ever goes to film festivals...last February at the Portland International Film Festival I caught a 20 minute flick called "In Absentia" (2000). Style wise, several parts of "The Ring" are an obvious rip off of the indie short film.

WAR NEWS: SADDAM HUSSEIN EMBARRASSED BY HIS SUPPORTERS
This News IS Entertainment! - CBS was embarrassed when it was revealed that the voice of Saddam Hussein's translator in his interview with Dan Rather was actually overdubbed by voiceover actor Steve Winfield. CBS said the translation was "100 percent accurate," and they just wanted a voice "compatible with the piece." But others said it blurred the line between news and entertainment, since Winfield is a SAG member who books through the Fabulous Voices website, and he was doing a fake Arab accent.