Sunday

Tuna
"Striptease"

Striptease (1996) is a terrible comedy and worse. Not only are most of the comedic moments unfunny, most especially every moment Burt Reynolds is on screen, but they took the female lead and tried to give her a sympathetic "tear jerker" story about losing her job with the FBI and her daughter due to her low life husband. She was forced to instantly become the best stripper in Florida if not the known universe. Excuse me, but stripping takes talent and practise, making it hard to believe that a secretary and mommy could become the feature attraction overnight. Then again, it is Demi Moore, and she would certainly insist on top billing for her and her silicone moneymakers.

So how was she as a stripper? Well, her dancing was ok, she did some pretty graceful acrobatic moves and she was in phenomenal shape, but she had trouble with the catch of her bra behind a boa on stage, and there was very little tease. So:

Body A
Dance B-
Acrobatics B+
Strip C
Tease C-

All of the strippers eventually show breasts and buns in a thong, including Rena Riffel, Pandora Peaks and Barbara Alyn Woods, and Moore also shows her buns with no thong dancing at home after her shower. I mentioned Bert Reynolds as a crooked congressman in a pitiful performance. The one high spot for me was Ving Rhames as the club bouncer. He had a decent role, an actual character, and good comedic sense.

IMDb readers have this at 3.8 of 10. It did gross more than twice its budget of $50M. This film is an absolute mess, with a bad plot, bad acting, worse dialogue, and very little character development. D.

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  • Barbara Alyn Woods (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Demi Moore (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
  • Pandora Peaks (1, 2)
  • Rena Riffel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Stippers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "The Getaway"

    The Getaway (1972) is the original version of the film by the same title that we all know with Kim Basinger, Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Tilly. Replace Tilly with Sally Struthers, Basinger with Ali MacGraw, and Baldwin with Steve McQueen, and you pretty much have the idea. Were you to storyboard the two versions side by side, there would be far more agreement than change. For me, where the 1994 version made changes, they made more sense.

    In the original, McQueen gets a Texas parole board to reverse a decision because his wife screws a local crook, and promises that McQueen will rob a bank for him. In the newer version, Baldwin is in jail in Mexico, and Basinger convinces a crime guy to use his influence to spring him for a huge race track heist. The new version just makes more sense. In the original, some expositional scenes were very slow and deliberate so that the audience wouldn't get lost. The same scenes with no pace in the new version were shortened, and the sex and nudity scenes were greatly expanded.

    All that being said, I can't understand why the original is rated 7.3 of 10, while the remake is at 5.5. For me McQueen's character had no personality, giving one of my favorite actors nothing to work with in developing a character. MacGraw's lines were full of dated slang, which sounded very dated. Also, the supporting characters were far more colorful in the 1994 version. Of course, I saw the newer version first, and knew the story to well for anything in the McQueen version to surprise me. I love McQueen, and also heist action films, and this one was only marginally watchable for me. C-.

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  • Ali McGraw (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Sally Struthers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Blue City (1986):

    To tell you the truth, I have never heard of this movie, and have not seen it except for this scene. Furthermore, I was not aware that Ally Sheedy did some nudity in it, so this clip was a surprise to me. (.wmv, .jpg preview)

     

     

    The Big Town (1987):

    Oh, my, this is a lame movie. The small-town boy is successful competing against the locals, but can't achieve any more in Podunk, so the eager hayseed goes to the Big Town to seek his fame and fortune, carrying only a suitcase full of dreams. This gives him a great advantage at the train station, because dreams are light, so he doesn't need to pay a porter.

    He meets evil dudes. He meets a nice girl. He is seduced by a naughty girl. He turns to drink and the social ramble. The naughty girl double-crosses him, and ... well, you know the rest.

    This story would have been old hat about a month after the Lumieres screened their first films, and it was pretty much the plot of every film in the 30's. In this particular film, the young man is a wizard at playing craps, and the story takes place in the 50s in Chicago, but it could have taken place in any era after the Civil War, in any American city, and it might have been about singing, or acting, or baseball, or crime, or pretty much anything that one can make a living at in a big city but not in a small town.

    I didn't really notice that this movie added anything new to the "small-town boy in the big city" story. The plot twists all seemed to be "business as usual", and the dialogue was the usual mundane palaver like:

     "I can change, Cully, I know I can"

     "Sure, ya can, doll, sure ya can. But the odds are against it"

    The cast consists of a fairly good group of people who were close to the A list in the 80s, like Tommy Lee Jones, Diane Lane, Matt Dillon, Bruce Dern, Tom Skerritt, and Lee Grant. Looking back on it from 2004, perhaps the most interesting thing about the cast is the presence of Sarah Polley as the seven year old daughter of the "nice girl". Dillon seemed unnatural, because he had his usual Brooklyn greaser look, despite a rural Indiana accent. To tell you the truth, I think he did OK with the accent, but it didn't matter, because I kept hearing him talk like Matt Dillon, no matter how he actually pronounced the words.

    I ask you, though, if a movie has Diane Lane naked, does it need anything more to be watchable?

    • Diane Lane. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    • Suzy Amis. Her nipple was visible and in focus for precisely one frame. Her only real, clear nudity was in The Ballad of Little Jo (found in the encyclopedia). She struck up a relationship with the free-spending director James Cameron around the time of Titanic (he directed it, she was in it). They got married in 2000, she had a baby the next year, and she seems to have disappeared from the business.
    • strippers (Spangles and g-strings. It's the 50s) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

     

     

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

     

    Various:

    • Patricia Zentilli gets the livin' bejeezis fucked out of her, first in regular speed, then in slomo, in Season 2, Episode 2 of  "Street Time". (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Wonder Woman Lynda Carter shows off her impressive sweater-modeling credentials in the classic 70s kitschfest, Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw.  Who symbolizes the 70s better than preacher-turned-actor Marjoe Gortner, who co-starred with Wonder Woman in this movie?  (.avi, .wmv)

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    The Ghost delivers a few more 'caps from the Skinemax flick "Life of a Gigolo" (1998).

    • Brande Roderick, the former Heffer (April 2000) topless and showing just a hint of pubes in a sex scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Gwen Somers, topless (1, 2, 3)

    • Kristen Harner gettin' it on and showing pretty much everything. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Other Side of the Bed"
    A Spanish musical comedy, very different from the American style of musical comedy, and quite funny.

    Two couples, all good friends, wind up jumping in and out of each others beds (unknowingly) while trying to console each other about their failed romances.

    Well done and very entertaining, although probably a lot better for Spanish speakers since the subtitles are a bit distracting and unfulfilling during the musical numbers. Even worse, they can't be turned off which probably annoys the hell out of Spanish speakers. Do the producers actually think no one in America speaks Spanish?

    Oz
    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "If...."
    We have a retro start with some movies from the 60s. We have bush shown by Christine Noonan and Mary MacLeod in If...


    "Reflections in a Golden Eye"
    Another 1960s movie is Reflections in a Golden Eye starring Elizabeth Taylor. We see her in an industrial strength bra. There are also some naked rear views that are supposed to be Liz but are of an obvious body double. Even the body size is different.

    • Elizabeth Taylor (1, 2, 3, 4)


    "How Sweet It Is!"
    More industrial strength clothes from the 60s, but this time it is a bikini worn by Debbie Reynolds in How Sweet It Is!. No nudity, just sexy caps.

    • Debbie Reynolds (1, 2)


    "Hot Enough for June"
    More bikini caps in Hot Enough for June. No visible nudity but we do have some lovely caps of Sylva Koscina.

    • Sylva Koscina (1, 2, 3, 4)


    "What's New Pussycat?"
    Continuing in the 60s, it's pure sex appeal in What's New Pussycat? with cleavage and underwear by Paula Prentiss, Romy Schneider, Sabine Sun, Ursula Andress and some unknowns.


    "Women in Love"
    At the end of the 60s we have Women in Love with plenty of nudity. Glenda Jackson and Jennie Linden are topless, and Eleanor Bron shows some lovely pokies.


    "Permission to Kill"
    Forward to the 1970s we have Permission to Kill. Nicole Calfan is topless and we see her naked rear.

    • Nicole Calfan (1, 2, 3)

    Variety
    Diane Keaton LC 'caps of her brief toplessness and almsot frontal nudity in "Something's Gotta Give" (2003).

    Beth Tegarden Topless in scenes from "Tender Loving Care" (1997).