Sunday

Bitten

2008

If you miss the old 1980s style of B movies and wish that people still made them, this is the film for you. It's a horror/comedy starring Jason Mewes (Silent Bob's not-so-silent partner, Jay). If you think about it, Mewes was born to work in B movies. He can deliver a funny rant. He's a good-looking guy with a good body. He's willing to do anything to make his scenes work. In essence, he's a male version of an 80s scream queen: a scream king!

In this film he plays a love-lorn paramedic who rescues a woman from the alley behind his house, and becomes emotionally attached to her before figuring out she's a vampire. Once that epiphany occurs, he has to try to help her survive, so his life then consists of recruiting her victims and later disposing of their blood-drained bodies. Once in a while, the victims turn into additional vampires, so Jay has to drive a stake through their hearts.

And you think YOUR relationship is demanding!

Bitten is, of course, a low-budget non-theatrical effort with lots of rough edges, but the three main characters (the third is Jay's coarse fellow paramedic) are pretty solid, and the film meets all the genre requirements. There is plenty of gore, but it's comedy gore rather than straight-up splatter, so it's there more to amuse you than to shock you. There's girl-on-girl action and plenty of nudity. Erica Cox is beautiful, with a gorgeous face to match the best body money can buy. There's also quite a bit of raunchy humor, plenty of randy dialogue, and an offbeat ending.

This sort of thing could have gotten monotonous quickly, but the director was savvy enough to limit the running time to 80 minutes, so the action never slows down, there's minimal repetition, and the audience has no opportunity to get restless. I'm almost embarrassed to admit I like this kind of trash, but I found it a pretty easy way to pass the time! (Erica's nudity really helped.)

Erica Cox

Erica Cox and Amy Lynn Grover

 

For reference, Erica Cox comes out of Spaz territory. She's a Canadian citizen who works out of Toronto. She was topless on the DVD for American Pie 6 (Beta House), but only in the deleted scenes. This is what she looked like in that movie (just a small pic; not clickable):

Here is her resume, if you care to read up on her.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Doors

1991

Part 3 of 3

1280x544 film clips with Kristina Fulton. Samples below.

Scoop's notes:  I haven't seen her in years. Her last IMDb credit is in 2000. She once had a son with Nicolas Cage. That lad is now 19! (She's in her 40s now. Time flies.)

According to IMDb, "she is engaged to Stian Thoresen aka Shagrath, the singer with the Norwegian black metal band Dimmu Borgir," whatever that is. Not sure how current that info might be.

1280x544 film clips with others. Sample below.

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Sinful Dwarf

1973

Today the Time Machine goes back to the seventies for some "Babe in Bondage" action with Anne Sparrow in "The Sinful Dwarf." There are some nasty things going on here, but Anne shows it all. This was her only screen appearance, gee I wonder why. Caps and 3 clips.


 

 

TV Land

 

Over in TV Land we have one heck of a leg show from Selma Blair as she visits "Letterman" back in 2005. Caps and a short 1080 clip.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Charmed"

Season 6, episodes 1 and 2.

Part 1 of 2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Trail of a Serial Killer 2: King of Sorrow" (2007)

Sequel to the 1997 movie both starring the late Chris Penn (Sean Penn's smarter brother). Despite of full nudity by Lara Daans all of the other sex scenes are fully clothed.

Lara Daans: full frontal

Sadie LeBlanc: mega cleavage showing off her newly installed robohooters

Nicole Robert: bra and panties having sex


 




"Death Race"

(2008)

No (female) nudity but the uncredited female navigators/stunt babes are very sexy.

 

 Sharlene Royer: first off the bus followed by others

 Marie France Denoncourt: sexy as Carson's navigator and gunner



 




"Saw V"

 (2008)

Rated R for "brief nudity" there is no nudity whatsoever even in the unrated version.

Sarah Power: sexy but dead




 



"Turk 182!"

(1985)

A trip in the time machine shortly after Porky's. Kim Cattrall remembers to keep her panties on this time.

 


 




"Les Plouffe"

 (1981)

Going back another 4 years is the Quebec miniseries which launched many French-Canadian acting careers.

Anne Letourneau: leg and cleavage

unknown: full frontal on morgue table

 

 





"Screamers 2: The Hunting"

(2009)

Recent direct-to-DVD release. No nudity.

Gina Holden



 




"The Snake King"

(2005) (TV) "Ask A Snakeman"

Jayne Heitmeyer wears the same tank top throughout the movie.


 



"The L Word"

 season 6: episode: "Lactose Intolerant"

A pregant Daniela Sea is topless shaving off her Abe Lincoln

Klinger joke: "Hey, up close you look like a man. Far away, too."

 



 




"Jon Dore Show"

episode:  "Jon Lives a Lie'

Kim Allan (partial boob) returns as Jon Dore's slutty girlfriend.

 

 



"Being Erica"

episode: "Everything She Wants"


Anna Silk best known as the bitchy stewardess from the NicoDerm commercials doffs off her top and has some hot lesbian action with Erin Karpluk. (Anna Silk & Erin Karpluk: sideboob by Anna Silk, brassiere by Erin Karpluk)

 

 




 

Cleaning up my hard drive...



Jennifer Lyons sexy in another "Action" episode.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Bianca Gascoigne in some St. Patrick's Day Event. VERY HQ. In fact, I'm not sure we really want to see quality this good, because every hair follicle is visible.

 

Film Clips

Alexandra Maria Lara in Vom Suchen und Finden der Liebe

Irene Jacob in The Double Life of Veronique

The women of Revanche: Irina Potapenko, and Ursula Strauss

The women of Cosa de Brujas: Lidia San Jose, Susana Segorbe, and Manuela Arcuri

Jennifer Jason Leigh in Eyes of a Stranger

Sophie Hilbrand in Zomerhitte

Malin Ackerman in Watchmen, which just opened this weekend.. An unusual amount of sex and nudity for a comic book movie! It's a bootleg of some kind, not a screener, but is very good quality for a cam. Samples right.