Susanna (1995) is a Spanish erotic thriller (read soft core). We don't expect a stellar plot in this genre, and so far. I have not seen a top notch thriller out of Spain, so it was no surprise that the plot was less than wonderful. The slender Eva Santolaria plays the title character, and provides the nudity, including full frontal. There is plenty of nudity, but the sex scenes are tepid and not very explicit. TO make matters worse, the film suffers from a horrendous amount of motion blur.

A salesman is given a roll in the hay with Santolaria to place an order without up front money by a bar owner, and the two hit is off well. There are a few problems, however. She is on probation. He has a pregnant wife, and has been embezzling from his company. He puts her up in a hotel room and promises to meet her that night, but he is arrested. Wifie forgives him, but he has lost contact with Santolaria. He goes to work for a Moroccan bar and restaurant run by a crook who likes him. She shows up on the arm of a young Moroccan man, and they take up where they left off. From there, it gets seriously strange, and I will leave the rest of the plot for you to discover, if you can play this region 2 PAL DVD and suffer through the poor subtitles (it must mean something that nearly every colorful Spanish vulgarity is translated as fuck in the subtitles).

IMDb readers say 5.5 of 10. I will give it the benefit of the doubt and award a low C-, mainly on the strength of the nudity.

UPDATES:

Updated volumes:  Charlize Theron, Jennifer Tilly, Uma Thurman, Kim Cattrall, Demi Moore, Jane March, Sarah Miles, Misty Mundae

New volumes:  Leslie Hope, Anne Brochet, Lara Belmont, June Fairchild , Nikki Fairchild , Edie Falco, Lisa Falcone, Deborah Fallender, Jami Farrell, Lydia Farrell, Lisa Faulkner, SallyFaulkner, Yvette Faulkner, Rebecca Ferratti, Andrea Ferreol, Carrie Fisher, Frances Fisher, Valentina Forte, Isabelle Fortea, Penelope Fortier, Astrid Frank, Diana Frank, Mira Furlan

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Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Valentino:

• There are not many scenes which are both very funny and very sexy. This scene with Penelope Milford not only includes those two elements, but beautiful photographic aesthetics as well. Too bad that the rest of the movie didn't match this standard.  If you dont; have time for all three, number three has all the body parts and all the craziness you need. (.avi version (all three scenes), .wmv version (1, 2, 3))

• Here's a .jpg sample of the video.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Not every movie you need to see is great, or entertaining. The Misfits (1961) is a movie you need to see, even though it is neither necessarily great, nor particularly entertaining. It is the last completed movie for both Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable. Montogomery Clift, Eli Wallach and Thelma Ritter play major roles. It was written by Arthur Miller, directed by John Huston. You need to see it if you even pretend... as I do... that you know something about movies.

Among the things you learn from Misfits is that Marilyn Monroe could act. Really act. The vulnerability and the beauty just dripped off of her, so abundant and unrestrained were they. She could carry scenes with the camera focussed on her face or with the camera focussed elsewhere, she in the background, as every eye looked at her and not the object in focus. A true marvel was Ms. Monroe. Not another like her before or since. You just gotta see The Misfits to see her.

No need to say a thing more about it.

In a short scene that covers the morning after the first night between Roslyn (Monroe's character) and Gay (Gable's character), Marilyn comes as close to showing something as she would in any completed film. She roles over in bed, the sheets barely covering her obviously naked form and for a couple of frames you might just get a peak at a vital part (see bottom right of collage 2 and the large frame in collage 3). No matter even if you don't, because 94% of Marilyn's right natural wonder is revealed.

• Marilyn Monroe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Puppets Who Kill: Dead Ted"
Last weeks episode involved Dan getting fisted by Tara Rosling and Buttons getting his semen extracted with a vacuum cleaner by a lesbian couple played by Tara Spencer-Nairn (Corner Gas) and Michelle Latimer (Paradise Falls).

• Tara Spencer-Nairn: cleavage.
• Michelle Latimer: kissy, kissy.
• Tara Rosling: rubber gloves, then pokies.

"Really Weird Tales" (1987)
First segment "All's Well That Ends Strange" takes place in a Westworld type hefmag mansion full of robotic hefmates in bikinis.

• Oliva D'Abo: hottub bikini.
• Astrid Brandt: pokies.
• Deborah Hancock: partial boob.
• Georgia Steele: sexy, looks like Cynthia Belliveau.
• Jennifer Inch: bikini.

"Utilities" (1981)
Prophetic comedy about crooked power utilities made twenty years before the Enron collapse.

• Brooke Adams: partial breast.

Various:

• Darlene Burlie: cleavage in "Class of 1984" (1982)
• Darlene Burlie: cleavage in "Oddballs" (1984).
• Terrea Foster: another non-nude sighting in "Oddballs" (1984).
• Heather Campbell: pokies in "Ski School II" (1995).
• Kristin Booth: caboose in outtake from "Foolproof" (2003)

Here's the breakdown:
Link #1...partial thong view
Link #2...rear/side breast view (no nipple)
Link #3...stipping down to bra and panties
Link #4...Soaking wet cleavage
Links #5-7...Cleavage
Link #8...Cleavage and spanking herself

MARTHA GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY
Today, Martha, Tomorrow, Osama! - Friday, a New York jury found Martha Stewart guilty on all four felony counts: conspiracy, obstruction of justice and two counts of making false statements. She could get up to 20 years in prison. The verdict forced Wall Street to halt trading of her plummeting media empire stock, but Stewart had already lost $85 million of her total wealth in one day. Jurors said they were particularly swayed by the reluctant testimony of Martha's assistant, who tearfully admitted seeing Martha erase an incriminating phone message from her broker.