Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

This came from basicinstinct2.net. It appears to be raw footage with some temporary scoring. I don't know if it is in either the European or the American version of the film.

Two choices on the video.

• Either this zipped .mov file of the entire scene with sound. Very small images, but good quality albeit dark.

• Or this zipped .wmv file, which is just the nude portion of the scene, with no sound, and quite a large picture.

Here are the collages of Anne Caillon and Sharon Stone. As you can see if you compare them to the video clips, I brightened them a ton, but they cleaned up pretty doggoned nice!

Sharon Stone Anne Caillon

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

This is a zipped .avi film clip. Pretty good quality, albeit dark. There should be some exposed flesh in there somewhere, but they did a great job of hiding whatever might have appeared. Beckinsale is not big on nudity, so enjoy whatever you can see.

 

 

In the Cut (2002)

In the Cut is most famous for Meg Ryan's nude scenes. Here is the best-lit topless action, her bath, in a short zipped .avi. EXTREMELY good quality. (HDTV)

Other Crap:

Daily Box Office - Friday, March 10, 2006

• Despite poor reviews, Failure to Launch finishes far above the competition
• Two other new releases finish #2 and #3

INTERIOR SECRETARY QUITS; CITES "NO MORE ENVIRONMENT LEFT TO WRECK" Norton Declares Mission Accomplished

Colbert's word of the day: "Do It Yourself."

"Stephen Colbert tells Lorraine Bracco she's a poison on society."

The Daily Show: "With the closing of Abu Ghraib, testicle electrodes dangle quietly; the hoods rustle in the wind."

"Bruce Bartlett, the author of 'Impostor,' talks to Jon Stewart about losing his job over the content of his book."

The Daily Show looks at Black Republicans.

Does fasting rid the body of toxins?"

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog talks begrudgingly, via satellite, about an upcoming appearance on Attack of the Show

Here's a tip for you youngsters - one more reason to avoid drugs and booze. 39 year old Salma Hayek and 19 year old Lindsay Lohan - which one LOOKS older?

Cheney Rampage Leaves Americans Fearful of Entering the Woods

"Republicans Riot over Brokeback Mountain Parody"

A new trailer re-mix - Blue Velvet as a romantic comedy

A cool retro-promo of Superman in general, followed by a trailer for the new Superman flick.

"Prostitutes get own radio station"

• "You're tuned to KUNT, and let's head up to the Kuntcopter for our traffic report."

And they say that the theater is dead ... "Barbie doll gets live stage show"

• "Barbie Live in Fairytopia, starring 24-year-old actress Erin Coors, will open in Ohio on 1 April and tour 80 US cities by 2008."

A deleted scene from Basic Instinct 2 (Warning: dirty talk and Brokeback Mountain music)

The niece of Osama bin Laden has signed on for a reality television show about her attempts to break into the music industry

• I suggest a single-set sitcom about her and her uncle, set in a cave, with the same appliances as The Honeymooners. She concocts all kind of crazy schemes to break into show business, while wacky Uncle Osama keeps trying to persuade her into Jihad instead. Their neighbor, an incompetent and nervous fellow named al-Norton, is always embarrassed to have to explain to Osama why he's still alive when he's supposed to be a suicide bomber.

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun"

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun (1977) is a Jess Franco nunsploitation film supposedly set in Portugal. Maria (Susan Hemingway) is 16, and living with her single mother. A priest sees her innocent flirting with a boy her age, and convinces her mother that the only way to save her soul is to put her in a nunnery. It is also necessary to donate her life savings. When Maria arrives, she in committed to the care of "high priestess" Ana Zanetti, who will have the job of punishing her and making her worthy. It isn't long before we learn that the high priestess and the good father are devil worshipers, and she is being prepared for virgin sacrifice to Satan.

She is wrapped in thorns, made to walk on thorns, forced to perform fellatio on the good father, locked in a cell, drawn and quartered, chained to a wall and raped by Satan. She is even forced to confess an erotic dream to the priest, who jacks off as he probes her for more details. When she threatens to report them to the Holy Inquisition, they strike first, denouncing her as a witch, A last minute reprieve from the "Prince of Portugal" after seeing a letter she tossed out the window saves her and punishes the guilty parties. As I write this, I almost feel guilty for invading Hankster territory.

There are so many controversial elements to this film it is hard to know where to start. The whole idea of a corrupt convent and a priest extorting money from a parishioner is bad enough, but the Inquisition is presented as a mostly political group who doesn't really much care about morality. The photography, in many scenes, is beautiful and cheerful, except in dungeon torture scenes. Even the burning at the stake scene is outdoors in bright sunlight with alabaster walls and green pine branches for kindling. The torture scenes include the usual Franco blood everywhere.

Susan Hemingway was perfectly cast as the 16 year old virgin, as she both looked and acted the part to perfection. Ana Zanetti was more than creepy enough as the twisted convent head. Hemingway does full frontal and rear nudity. Zanetti shows breasts and a gynocam close-up. Several other women show breasts during a black mass.

IMDb readers say 6.0. This film is more coherent and uses more conventional photography than is typical of Franco films. He uses many long shots to emphasize the isolation Maria feels. This is one of the better nunsploitation films I have seen, and is hence a X+.

Ana Zanatti Susan Hemingway Unknowns