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Tuna
"Exorcism"

Exorcism (1974), officially called El Sádico de Notre-Dame at IMDB, is a Jess Franco film made after seeing The Exorcist. It has been released numerous times over the years in many different versions, most of them with less sex and nudity than the original French production. The DVD I viewed is essentially a director's cut assembled from a variety of different versions, has most of the sex in (although there may be some hard core footage somewhere that is not in this version) and features a feature length commentary by Jess Franco. It is the story of a S&M satanist publication that hosts Black Masses, which include an S&M show, then an orgy following. One of the frequent authors for the magazine is a mad, defrocked priest, and self-styled exorcist, played by none other than Jess Franco, who also wrote and directed. Female stars include his wife, Lina Romay, at the height of her beauty, as an employee of the magazine and star of the show, and also room mate and sometimes lover to Lynn Monteil. They both show all three Bs more than once, as do Monica Swinn, France Nicolas and Catherine Lafferière. Franco practices a sort of surgical exorcism, where he prays, and cuts out his victims hearts, frequently hanging them in chains, and torturing them first.

IMDB readers have this at 4.7 of 10, but with only 38 votes. This is not a mainstream film, but is an absolute must own for Franco fans. It does feature several very attractive women, naked most of the time. If the genre is Euro-slasher horror, this is at least a C+.

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  • Catherine Laferriere (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • France Nicolas (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Lina Romay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Lynn Monteil (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Monica Swinn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Hello, Mr. or Mrs. and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

    MOVIES:

    I went through 8 new releases today. Precious little nudity. I will get some more reviews done as the day passes, but here are the capsule summaries for now

    The Heist (2001)- David Mamet caper movie with Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo, and Danny DeVito. Solid, twisty sting movie, but no nudity.

    Liam (2000) - sort of Angela's Other Ashes - a film about growing up as an impoverished Catholic in the 30's in Liverpool, as seen through the eyes of a young boy headed for First Communion. Excellent movie, atmospheric, touching, filled with detailed reminiscences that mark it as autobiographical. You might think from my description that it could be dismissed as an arty or intellectual film, but it isn't. It has an interesting storyline, as well as an interesting perspective (a 7 year old boy's POV). The kid thinks he's caused his mother to grow hair on her body because he's spied on her while she was naked. Well, the other naked women he can see in books of art don't have any pubic hair, so it's a logical conclusion on his part.

    • Claire Hackett (1, 2)

    Tuna reviewed Joyride (2001) earlier, and he was not very impressed by it. Neither was I, and there is no female nudity. It's an OK movie, but it won't give you a reason to run to the nearest video store.

    However - I recommend the DVD heartily if you are into movies. Here's why. The deleted scenes in this film constitute a completely different movie. They had this puppy completely finished when they decided that the ending lacked dramatic tension. So they re-wrote the last thirty minutes of the film. And I mean completely re-wrote it. Different characters, different scenes, different resolution, all bearing no resemblance to the final theatrical version. So if you watch the movie, then watch the deleted scenes with the commentary, you will hear a fascinating story of how a film gets made

    The Order (2001) not only stars Jean-Claude van Damme, but it was written by him. Do I need to say more? There is some good action, and some great photography of Israel, but that man is nuttier than a fruitcake. The script is completely off the wall. Religious nuts. Ticking bombs. No nudity, but a sexy picture of Sofia Milos.

    The Blonde is an Italian language movie from 1992 starring Nastassja Kinski. Amnesia plot. Nice Italian location filming. Nudity might have lifted it to watchability, but there was none.

    The Wash (2001) - an attempt to bring black the glorious days of car wash movies. Snoop Dogg stars in a half-hearted comedy/drama. It's really not a good movie. Maybe a few funny lines, but it doesn't work, in my opinion. No nudity.

    Zoolander (2001) - is the feature-length version of Ben Stiller's VHS-1 sketches about the fashion industry. Not a consistently hilarious film, but it does have its moments. No nudity.

    Spent (2000) - a sincere Indy film about a couple with dependency issues - she's a drunk, he's a compulsive gambler. Stars Charlie Spradling - some near nudity, but not really anything to write home about. The film is a melodrama, no budget, just talking heads. I'd say skip it.

     

    UPDATES:

    • There are new Encyclopedia volumes for Anne Parillaud and Alba Parietti

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response

    • Kira Reed, one of the reigning Queens of softcore doing what she does best in scenes from "Mistress Club". Toplessness, frontal and some very realistic pseudo sex. (Possibly real sex? After all, she does like to do it on camera with her hubby for their website!)

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Hankster
    Scoop,

    Carrying on with the further adventures of the damsels in distress in "The Abductors"...Today we find that Laurie Rose is still in the clutches of the white slavers and now Cheri Caffaro has been abducted too.

    UC99
    Marina Krauser Full frontal nudity in scenes from "Aufrichtige Lügnerin" (1990).

    Julia Stemberger Topless in a love scene from "Madame Bäurin" (1993).

    Angelica Domröse Clear topless and rear nudity, plus a hint of pubes, and a great "upskirt" view in scenes from "Flüchtige Bekanntschaften" (1982).

    Nadja Uhl Frontal exposure in "Polizeiruf 110 - Kleine Dealer, große Träume" (1995).

    Ute Willing Topless in "Einer stirbt bestimmt" (1992).

    Ann-Kathrin Kramer Topless while gettin' it on in scenes from "Auf schmalem Grat" (1999).

    DeVo
    Natacha Regnier The Belgian actress showing topless, frontal and partial rear nudity getting out of the tub in scenes from the French movie "Tout va bien, on s'en va" (2000).

    Sandrine Kiberlain
    (1, 2)

    More scenes from "Tout va bien, on s'en va", this time topless goodies only.

    Dominique Sanda Going all the way back to 1970 with these topless 'caps of the French actress from "The Garden of the Finzi-Continis"

    Blackshine

    Variety
    Aurora Robles
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Here is all I know about her....
  • She's damn hot!
  • She's topless in link #2 and #3.
  • She's baring her amazing bum in link #1 and #4.
  • She's in the German Maxim
  • Blacksheep did a great job with these scans

  • Eleonora Benfatto
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Miss Italia 1989, showgirl and model. Posing topless in Maxim. Her hair covers her breasts for the most part, but you can see a bit of nipple in links 1 and 2. Scans by Forch1.

    Kelly Brook A gorgeous bikini scan of the UK TV babe.

    Torrie Wilson
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Rasslin' fans will enjoy these bikini poses of the WWF babe.

    Marisa Tomei
    (1, 2)

    Non-nudes of course, but she looks fantastic. Images from one of the thousands of award shows that takes place in Hollywood each month.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Reality Has No Bite in Tape of Ryder's Alleged Shoplifting Crime:
    Security cameras show actress on shopping spree, but fail to live up to the hype.

    By ANN W. O'NEILL, L.A. Times Staff Writer

    It's Winona Ryder's most hotly anticipated film role in years, and all the buzz isn't about "Mr. Deeds," due out in June. Rather, it's Ryder's misdeeds, allegedly caught Dec. 12 by security cameras at a Beverly Hills Saks Fifth Avenue store, that have been the talk of Hollywood for months.

    But the store surveillance tape, a copy of which was viewed Monday by The Times, doesn't live up to the hype. For 90 minutes, closed-circuit cameras follow Ryder from Saks' first floor to the third. She tries on several hats, then takes the escalator up to the designer clothing sections, moving from racks of Calvin Klein slip dresses, to Donna Karan, Chanel and Yves St. Laurent on what appears to be a major shopping spree.

    Prosecutors have said the tape is damning evidence of a shoplifter, interrupted. Ryder's lawyer, Mark Geragos, said he has found nothing incriminating on the tape.

    "Contrary to the public perception, this tape exonerates her," Geragos said. "I'd say this is a prosecution, interrupted."

    What becomes clear after viewing the tape is that many of the allegations are based on what store security officers saw and not what was captured on tape.

    On Feb. 1, Ryder, 30, was charged with multiple felonies--grand theft, burglary, vandalism and possession of Oxycodone, a powerful prescription pain reliever. At the time, the district attorney's office issued a news release quoting Beverly Hills police saying that Ryder had been seen on the store's closed-circuit camera using scissors to clip off the antitheft devices, and stuffing the items into a shopping bag.

    Some entertainment press reports have even indicated that the actress was so intent on removing the antitheft tags from $4,760 worth of pilfered merchandise that she cut herself and left bloodstains in a dressing room.

    But the tape shows nothing of the sort.

    District attorney's spokeswoman Sandi Gibbons backed away Monday from her original Feb. 1 news release, which stated that Ryder had been caught on camera using scissors to cut antitheft tags from clothes.

    Gibbons added that police reports she has seen never indicate that Ryder cut herself. Ryder did, however, allegedly damage some merchandise, which led to the vandalism charge, Gibbons said.

    While under surveillance by a female loss-prevention officer, Ryder allegedly used scissors twice to snip antitheft tags from several items while inside two dressing rooms, according to a law enforcement source. But the best view offered on tape is a closed dressing room curtain.

    "I don't know what you've seen and whether you've seen the entire tape," Gibbons said. "I haven't seen the tape and if there was any error in my press release, you'll have to talk to the Beverly Hills police."

    Whatever the camera might have "seen" didn't end up on the tape. There is, however, plenty of footage of Ryder shopping, schlepping and losing her grip on the bags, which fall to the floor as sales staffers walk by. But the scissors never appear, there's no blood and the rest seems open to interpretation.

    Ryder wears a long, dark skirt, square-toed boots and a long white coat. She struggles at times, carrying a garment bag, a red Saks bag, a plastic shopping bag and at least three other totes. At one point, she stuffs several pairs of socks into a white hat.

    Later, Ryder plunks a black hat on her head and seems to forget about it as she rides an escalator to the second floor. The price tag is clearly visible when she enters a dressing room shortly before 4:30 p.m. When she comes out about 15 minutes later, the tag no longer shows.

    An hour later, the hat disappears when Ryder peeks out from behind the curtain of a second dressing room. The tape offers no clue as to where it went, although Ryder is accused of shoplifting two black hats with a combined value of $575. She is also accused of stealing seven pairs of socks, a Yves St. Laurent blouse, several expensive handbags, a pricey hair band and three hairpieces.

    At one point, Ryder engages in conversation with a helpful sales clerk, who bustles in and out of the dressing room, finally returning with a credit card receipt. As they walk toward the escalator, the clerk rests her hand on Ryder's shoulder.

    Earlier, another helpful clerk brought Ryder a soft drink, and even removed a sales tag from a small item inside one of the bags Ryder toted. The only thing Ryder can be seen stuffing into her bag is the paper wrapper from a straw.

    Ryder is free on $20,000 bail as the public awaits the screening of the tape at her preliminary hearing, scheduled for Thursday. The stakes are high for a district attorney's office that in the past has been accused of going easy on celebrities, and for a two-time Oscar nominee who had no film projects on her plate at the time of her arrest.

    And so, the spinning has entered a new phase.

    Call it Saks, lies and videotape.

    As he left the Beverly Hills courthouse Monday, Geragos told reporters that there's nothing on the tape.

    "Who are you going to believe?" he said. "The witnesses or your own eyes? Obviously, all of this supposed smoking gun evidence doesn't appear to be there."

    "Would Mark Geragos spin? Oh, my goodness," Gibbons said in mock amazement.

    The Beverly Hills Saks store had no comment, and referred calls to the corporate office in New York. A spokeswoman there was out of the office until later in the week.

    The tape seems to prove one thing: In shopping, as in other pursuits, the famous are different from everyone else. Ryder is never seen in line at a cash register, even though she used her Visa card to charge thousands of dollars worth of merchandise before she was stopped outside the store and accused of shoplifting.


    Scoop,

    I'd send you this next story, but you really need to go the website and look at the picture.

    Comments from Celebrity Sleuth
    Scoop:

    I noted that a fun houser asked about nudes of Sarah Clarke from 24 Hours.

    I doubt you'll find any, since she hasn't been around that long...

    Just wanted to point out, in case some of your members didn't know, that Sarah was discovered for the 24 Hrs. role as a result of appearing in the CLIO award-winning ad for the Volkswagen Jetta, entitled "Synchronicity." You know, that's the one where everything is in unison: the wiper blades, the bouncing basketball, the guys unloading the truck...and the guy driving with her says, "That was interesting..." while she nods open-mouthed. No lines...and it led to her part on a series.

    Is this a great country, or what?

    Best,
    Sleuth