|
"Knight Moves"(1992)
Knight Moves (1992) is supposed to be a mystery thriller. The only mystery to me was why they made this thing. I hesitate to apply the term spoiler to my review, as nothing I could do could possibly make it any worse. We open with two kids playing chess in a tournament. The loser stabs the winner in the hand with a fountain pen, is checked into a mental hospital, is abandoned by his father, and sees his mother dead of a bloody suicide.
Cut to the present and a chess tournament to determine who will play for the world championships. Someone starts killing women, and claiming that he is playing a game with grand master Peter Sanderson (Christopher Lambert). He challenges Sanderson to solve the mystery, while framing him for the murders in the eyes of the police. So far, it is a pretty good set-up for an action thriller, but not a mystery. If Sanderson wasn't the youthful chess winner in the opening scenes, and the killer the loser, there would have been absolutely no point to the opening scenes.
Still, the director tries to manipulate us into thinking Sanderson is guilty several times. A shrink, played by Diane Lane, is brought in by the police to figure out if Sanderson is a psychopath. We are also asked to be surprised when the two become intimate. Finally, we are asked to be surprised when the killers last target is Sanderson's daughter. Acting was second rate, the sets were drab and uninteresting, and I was able to give Mrs. Tuna a detailed plot summary 5 minutes into this film.
Diane Lane shows her breasts in a poorly lit scene, as does Kehli O'Byrne as the first murder victim. Maltin gives this 2.5 stars, and Berardinelli says one. Berardinelli loved it compared to me. IMDB readers say 5.7/10. This film brought in nearly $1m in a limited US release. The DVD quality is appropriate to the film quality. It is letterboxed, small, dark, and washed out. Rent at your own risk.
Thumbnails
Diane Lane
(1,
2,
3)
Kehli O'Byrne
"Romper Stomper" (1992)
Romper Stomper (1992) came a full 6 years before American History X, and. almost certainly, contributed to the screenplay for that film. It marks the first feature length film by director Geoffrey Wright, put Russell Crowe on the map, and was the film debut of stage actress Jacqueline McKenzie. Set in Melbourne, Crowe plays the leader of a gang of skinheads whose goal in life is to get rid of the Vietnamese for two reasons -- economics and racial purity. McKenzie has called her father to help her move away from the heroin addict she is living with. It is at this point that we learn all we will need to know about this petite looking woman:
1) She was sexually abused by her father her entire life
2) Her mother committed suicide
3) She is an epileptic
4) She is not as helpless as she looks.
She moves in with the skinheads, and becomes Crowe's old lady. When the gang picks on the wrong Vietnamese one time too many, all the Asians in the world descend on them, killing several, and running them out of their hangout. Crowe's character begins to lose it after this defeat, and runs
McKenzie off. She turns the gang in to the police, then goes to see another gang member who has expressed interest in her (Daniel Pollock). Note that they were actually dating in real life. The two have a lengthy, dark, blue filtered sex scene, and I agree with realist that they were actually doing the deed (see images 1 and 12). It sure looks like they were doing it, they were a couple, and Jacqueline got beet red in the interview when she said that being close to the other cast members made the love scene much easier.
Romper Stomper is a play on the TV show Romper Room. The film takes no editorial point of view, and makes no moral judgements. It presents the characters and events, and expects the audience to be smart enough to figure out right from wrong. IMDB readers like this film at 7.1/10. Maltin says 3 stars, Apollo ratings mimic the IMDB score. The film was hugely popular in Australia, and was also controversial due to the lack of moral judgements in the film. I score this a B. The performances, especially by Crowe, and the nudity should make it worth your while.
I followed Realist's lead, and removed the blue filter effect to make the images more colorful. This was my first attempt, and I am reasonably happy with the results.
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Jacqueline McKenzie
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16)
| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
| |
NEW RELEASES
I thought it would be the worst day ever, watching a prequel to the lifeless and overpraised Cruel Intentions, and a sequel to that noted piece of complete cinema merde, The Blair Witch Project. I mean, how much worse can life get than that, even in the Gulag? It's scary when you think about it, because sequels are usually worse than the original, so the potential for Blair Witch 2 was beyond the limit of mankind's current scientific understanding.
As it turns out, CI2 was a trashy, lurid, dumb movie that was pleasant to watch for cheap sex jokes and nudity, and had a Valmont that was far more likeable than in CI - he was, in fact, Otter, from Animal House played by a different guy.
The big surprise was Blair Witch 2, which was savaged both by critics and by those who loved the original and, guess what, it's actually a pretty good supernatural mystery movie, with a little nudity for spice.
Here's Cruel Intentions 2, which was cobbled together out of footage intended for a few episodes of the shelved sitcom, "Manchester Prep".
Here's Blair Witch 2.
- Erica Leerhsen. Nice lookin' woman, complete unknown, as far as I
know.
(1,
2,
3)
I took a look at Bedazzled. It is neither very good nor very bad. No nudity.
Honte's site is updated
| | Graphic Response
| |
Susan Strasberg, scenes from "The Trip" (1967).
Comments by Graphic Response...
You will probably wonder why I did this film because I am not sure myself. I guess I did it for the film history buffs and the Strasberg fans. Bare Facts only lists a few films where she appears nude and this is one of them. The film is also no longer available so I thought I would make this capture for posterity. Also take a look at the cast from this 1967 film: Peter Fonda, Susan Strasberg, Bruce Dern, and Dennis Hopper.
| Jennifer Love Hewitt
| JLH
(1,
2)
|
Hot stuff for the JLH fans. Here are two versions of the same image from In Style magazine.
If you zoom in, especially on #1, the semi see-thru lingerie looks suspiciously airbrushed right near the nipple. But I am a conspiracy theorist in my spare time, so who knows.
| | Helcrom
| | Ashley Judd |
Topless in scenes from the little known "Normal Life". The movie is actually very enjoyable. It was directed by John McNaughton ("Wild Things") and was originally intended to be a theatrical release, but ended up without a distributor and finally premiered on cable.
| | Bess Armstrong |
An excellent follow up from yesterday's posts of Bess in scenes from 1984's "The House of God".
| | Shelley Rose |
Of course no post by Helcrom would be complete without something from late night cable! Here is some quality Skinemax-style nudity from and episode of "Passion Cove".
| | Aesthete
| |
An excellent assortment of DVD vidcaps from the 1999 release "A Map of the World". There is a large variety of camera angles to choose from that feature Sigourney Weaver topless. There are also a few upskirt type shots and a near frontal or two. To help, I whipped up these Tuna-esque thumbnail sheets.
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Sigourney Weaver
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20)
| l'Helvete
| |
More French Goodies....
| Agnès Jaoui
(1,
2)
|
Topless in scenes from "Une femme d'extérieur" (2000)
| | Anaïs Jeanneret |
Beautiful breasts, but minimal exposure (look in the mirror). Scenes from "Chateauroux district" (1987).
| Ava Cohen-Jonathan
(1,
2)
|
More gorgeous breasts...#1 features close-up exposure with Ava topless and being hosed down. #2 is the same scene but much farther away. Vidcaps from 1995's "Un été à La Goulette"
| | Charlotte Gainsbourg |
Very nice rear nudity, plus a dark scene with breast exposure, from "Suspicion".
| Charlotte Kady
(1,
2)
|
Bare bum in #1, bare breasts in #2. Scenes from the 1995 movie "Notre homme".
| | Jessica Forde |
Fantastic full frontal nudity from 1986's "L'Ogre". Worth a look, even if you are not a fan of Euro-cinema!
| Julie Gayet
(1,
2)
|
Breast exposure in love scenes from "Le Plaisir (et ses petits tracas)" (1998).
| Marie Gillain
(1,
2)
|
#1 features full dorsal nudity. #2 shows brief breast exposure. Vidcaps from the movie "Le Bossu" (1997).
| | Noëlla Dussart |
Frontal, but not full frontal nudity from 1994's "Neuf mois".
| | and ...
| | Annie and Alicia Sorell |
My pick of the day is this collage by Dann from the pseudo attempt at a TV show version of "Cruel Intentions". I caught most of this on cable the other day, and to sum it up...it bites. But this scene is incredibly hot! My guess is that it must have tapped into some Doublemint fantasy from my youth. Regardless, these sisters have great breasts and start making out in the shower. Well worth the price of the rental just for this scene!
| | Fay Masterson |
From Aussie, Fay exposing a nice breast in scenes from the TV series "Strangers".
| | Andrea Rau |
Topless in the 1976 German movie "Das Netz". Thanks to UC99.
| | Katia Berger |
Topless in scenes from "Storie di ordinaria follia", by Scanman.
| Ornella Muti
(1,
2)
|
Far off rear nudity, also from 1982's "Storie di ordinaria follia", by Scanman.
| | The Funnies
| |
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
-Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
-Stephen Wright
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
| | | |
