Friday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6..2.1 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Fraternity Vacation (1985) If I recall correctly, this is one of the most requested films ever in Fun House, due to the estended topless scene with Kathleen Kinmont and Barbara Crampton. Every version I had ever seen was very poor. Finally, we have a remaster on DVD that is presentable. Actually, it is very good, especially given the age of the film. It is a teensploitation spring break film that takes place in Palm Springs, Three frat brothers arrive to find schoolmates from a rival frat. They set up contest to see who can seduce Sheree J. Wilson first. Sheree pokes through a couple of outfits, and has a good see-through in a white skirt near the end, but her supposed breast exposure is actually body double Roberta Whitewood. Britt Ekland had a cameo, but kept her clothes on.

I always thought the film rather stupid, but seeing it on decent quality, it is no worse than other spring break films, and the nudity is extended. In the final scene, a group, including Kinmont and Crampton moon the front door, and we see their buns, and a hint of bush. IMDB readers have it at 3.9 of 10, which is way too low. I give it a C+.

UPDATES:

I just changed the entire search function in the back issues, throwing out everything that used to be there, replacing it with something I created myself.

It seems to be good. I'm satisfied with what I've seen so far, but I'm sure you'll advise me of problems.

• It searches all old issues at once - all of mine, plus Charlie's, plus Honte's, plus the movie reviews.
• It works fast because the pages are pre-indexed in a cached file.
• It returns working live links.

Speaking of Honte, his site is updated.

MOVIES:

Fraternity Vacation (1985) - I watch movies for a lot of different reasons. one of those reasons is to relax and be entertained mindlessly. For such an occasion, Fraternity Vacation has all the right stuff. It is a formula Spring break movie. Two pretty girls topless. Good laughs, good times, college pranks. Another incredibly beautiful woman in a skimpy bikini. Sexy fun. The battle between the snooty frat guys and the down to earth frat guys. The nerd who gets the girl with sincerity. And, of course, Dean Wormer as Sheriff Wormer. It's rated 3.9 at IMDb, which may be the right score if you are comparing it to The Sweet Hereafter or The Godfather, Part 2, but is not indicative of the pleasure it can bring if you want to turn your brain off for 90 minutes. Stars Tim Robbins before he became politically correct. One of his co-stars points out in the DVD material that it is a source of amusement in the industry that Robbins has removed this film from his resume. (He did a good job in the film, by the way)

• Barbara Crampton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Kathleen Kinmont (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Sheree Wilson (skimpy bikini - she was hot, but used a body double for the nudity)
• Roberta Whitewood (Wilson's body double) (1, 2)
• Britt Ekland, girlfriend to the stars. (no nudity)

Most of us DVD lovers are widescreen snobs, but there is something to be said for full screen presentation. Oh, I don't mean pan 'n scan full screen, which sucks, but I like it when they include a full negative full screen version. The DVD only has a widescreen version, and therefore missed the Barbara Crampton pubic shot which was visible in the 4:3 VHS version

• (see UC99's caps here)

The new DVD of Crimes of Passion was something of a disappointment. On the good side, the image quality is better in this newly mastered anamorphic version, and there's a full-length commentary from the writer and the director. On the bad side, the extra material is unimpressive. The restored scenes are insignificant - the  lead guy watching a porno movie for a fairly long time, a little extra footage of the peep show woman stripping, and an expansion of the scene where Turner sodomizes the cop with his nightstick.

The DVD also has several additional deleted scenes which have stayed deleted, but the quality is poor  - the footage looks like videotape - and frankly, deleting them was a good decision because they really wouldn't add anything worthwhile to the film. There is no nudity at all in the deleted scenes.

I just did this film a few days ago, so I only made two collages this time

• Kathleen Turner (1, 2)

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

The final chapter of "The Abductors"....The bad guy has his way with Laurie Rose, but she is finally rescued. As the movie ends, Cheri Caffaro has the big boss tied up in the shower and has a little fun with him. Watch where her hand is going.

• Laurie Rose (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Cheri Caffaro (1, 2, 3)

Here's a good example to consider for this topic...
We know Victoria Pratt as the buff blonde from the syndicated series "Cleopatra 2525" and "Mutant X". (She also did a topless scene in the Andrew Dice Clay cop flick, "Whatever It Takes" (1999).)

But was she too buff in the past? Is she sexier now that her arms aren't bigger than mine?

Compare the before and after bikini photos very carefully. Personally, I say less buff is better.

• Victoria in Hans and Franz mode: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• Victoria today: (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Romy Schneider, beautiful images of Romy frolicking in the water. Topless and partial rear nudity.
  (1, 2)

• Iris Berben, the German actress continues the beach theme. I recommend link #2 and #4.
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Sabrina Salerno, here is the Italian pin up babe, actress, and pop star posing topless.
  (1, 2, 3)

• Barbara Rudnik, another German actress posing topless. (1, 2)

Not much news today, but here's a Winona update from the BBC. Stung by the videotape backlash, prosecutors have released 10 additional seconds of tape to her lawyer that they claim proves she's guilty of all those charges. If she can commit that many crimes in 10 seconds, she may have broken Bill Clinton's record...

Fresh evidence in Winona case
Prosecutors in the shoplifting trial of Hollywood actress Winona Ryder have released fresh video tape evidence that could prove essential to her trial.

Investigators have already examined more than an hour's worth of surveillance tape from the store where the offence is alleged to have taken place, and Ms Ryder's defense says the tape shows no evidence of wrongdoing. However BBC correspondent David Willis says that an additional 10 seconds has now been handed to Ms Ryder's lawyer. What the extra footage shows is not clear, but the prosecution claims that, along with testimony from several eyewitnesses, it is enough to convict the actress.

Store detectives at Saks Fifth Avenue, in Beverly Hills, said Ms Ryder attempted to steal clothing and hair accessories worth $5,000 while in the shop on 12 December. Ms Ryder has pleaded not guilty to charges of theft, burglary, vandalism and possession of a controlled substance. She did not appear in court on Thursday. The star's defence team is expected to argue that the CCTV footage taken by the department store of her shopping spree will prove her innocence.

When Ms Ryder was charged, prosecutors said a CCTV tape showed her using scissors to cut security tags from merchandise. She is shown walking around the store, talking to shop assistants and trying clothes on for up to 90 minutes, according to the Los Angeles Times newspaper and the Extra television show. "Contrary to the public perception, this tape exonerates her," her lawyer Mark Geragos told the LA Times. But on Tuesday, Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley declined to discuss the contents of the tape seen by Mr Geragos

He said it would be up to a court "to see evidence introduced according to the rules of evidence, not according to some game that someone is playing". Ms Ryder was arrested after being stopped by security guards at Saks. Police said she also possessed the painkiller Oxycodone - a morphine derivative - without a prescription. The actress faces up to three years and eight months in prison if convicted.

Mr Geragos said at the time of her arrest there had been "a misunderstanding". Ms Ryder had already bought several items of clothing and the arrest followed a mix-up between two shop assistants, he said. He added that she had a valid prescription for the drugs but could not show it to police at the time. Ms Ryder has twice been nominated for Oscars - for the lead role in 1994's Little Women and for best supporting actress in Martin Scorsese's 1993 version of Edith Wharton's Age of Innocence.

And from IMDB News. May the whores be with you...

Darth Vader Made Me Feel Like A Whore
Star Wars star Natalie Portman says she felt like a "whore" while filming love scenes with Darth Vader. In the forthcoming Episode II: Attack Of The Clones, Natalie's Queen Amidala falls in love with the young Darth, played by newcomer Hayden Christensen. She says, "It feels so weird being told to kiss someone you don't want to kiss. You feel almost whorish being told what to do in a sexual role. Many girls would love to kiss Hayden, but we are friends and I just don't feel that way about him."

Jr's note...Well, Darth is one of the Masters of all that is Evil in the Universe. What else would you expect?