DarkWolf

DarkWolf (2003) is a direct-to-vid that came about because Richard Friedman wanted to create a film with a low budget and high production values. To him that meant lots of CGI, animatronics, and lots of T&A. He got the T&A right, bought an expensive gorilla suit, converted it into a wolf, then created the worst CGI this side of a video game for the female werewolf. Not only that, but for his story to work, he needed to create a whole new werewolf mythology, and then explain it to the audience. Here is how it plays out. A huge biker-looking guy with glowing red eyes enters a strip club and grabs a pair of boobs (nobody said he was stupid, just nasty). The LA police arrive hot on his heels, subdue him, and throw him into the back of a wagon. He breaks through the metal separating the back from the cab, kills the driver and one of the cops, then leaves as a wolf. That leaves a veteran cop and a female rookie to track him down and subdue him.

They stop off at the precinct to grab some silver bullets and get a bunch of the exposition out of the way, then it is off to question a homeless lady (Tippi Hedren) who, it turns out, is hundreds of years old, and protector of the perfect female werewolf (Samaire Armstrong). La Perfecta works as a waitress, and has no idea she is a werewolf. Ol' DarkWolf must mate with her during the full moon that night, or his race dies forever. If he succeeds, normal werewolves die forever, as do humans. Jaime Bergman rather quickly becomes wolf food. Interesting that, with the fate of humanity hanging in the balance, the LAPD can't afford more than one detective.

Samaire Armstrong had a vulnerable quality I quite enjoyed, and then grew balls when she needed them. For me, she was the bright spot in an otherwise lackluster effort. Opinions seem split on the acting and the story line, but there's agreement on the bad gorilla costume and the even worse CGI.

Assuming the existence of a good werewolf movie, this one isn't it.

This is a D.

IMDb has this at 3.0.

The DVD includes a "making of" featurette and a gag reel.

Nudity:

The final showdown is arranged in such a way as to get a lengthy T&A lesbian scene out of Sasha Williams and Andrea Bogart. Then we have the lengthy and pathetic CGI of Samaire Armstrong's character turning into a topless werewolf. Jaime Bergman shows a bloody left breast after a visit from wolfie. Katie Lohmann shows breasts giving a lap dance during the opening credits. Sasha Williams and Andrea Bogart wear nothing but vanity patches as they pose for photos on the roof.

Andrea Bogart

Jaime Bergman

Katie Lohmann

Sasha Williams

Strippers

Mad Dog and Glory

Spring came to my house today, so I am enjoying the outdoors, thus it's a short trip for the Time Machine back to 1993 and a very brief visit to "Mad Dog and Glory." We have a very young Uma Thurman, not really much skin, but hey it's Uma.

The Long Weekend

Advertising exec Ed Waxman (Brendan Fehr) has been coming up with the same mundane campaigns since his girlfriend left him for another man. Now he's been given an ultimatum: produce a commercial that dazzles the sponsor, or his career is finished. At the same time, his younger brother, Cooper (Chris Klein), has made the decision that Ed needs to encounter as many women as possible: strippers, grieving models, single mothers.