The Five Senses (2000) is arty, slow paced, has very little plot, and is actually several sub-plots rolled into one film. All of the characters live in, or have business in the same apartment building, and the disappearance of a little girl provides the time line, as well as some of the sub-plots. The five senses are the theme, each sub-plot representing one of the senses. We have a gay man that can smell love, a shrink who loves classical music and is going deaf, a massage therapist, and a cake decorator in love with her Italian teacher. The entire film is more about characters and moods then story . It's strength is in film making and character development, but not story telling. The director shows real ability to let us learn about the characters as they learn about themselves, rather than in some narrative form. One of my criteria for a film is always if there is anyone in the story I can relate to or like. This is an entire film full of characters that meet that description.

IMDb readers have this at 6.9 of 10, very high for an art film. Critics loved it. This is an excellent effort from Canadian director Jeremy Podeswa.. He also wrote and produced. I hope he tries another feature length film soon. This is a B with far wider appeal than a normal art house character driven drama.

The Comfort of Strangers (2003):

A young British couple returns to Venice, where they had once shared a fiery romance. They have lost some of that flame, and hope to rekindle it. While there, they get lost one night and are rescued by a mysterious Italian who resides in a nearby palazzo. As the film progresses, the normal young couple start to realize that the older man and his wife are very strange, and will eventually require something very intimate and perverse from the young Brits. At first, the younger couple sees hints of mild eccentricity in the elder duo, but the hints become flagrant, and the mild eccentricities turn out to be deep psychoses. The primary dramatic tension in the film hinges on whether the young couple will recognize their apparent, if unstated, peril in time to escape from it. The secondary source of dramatic movement is the audience's curiosity about exactly what that peril might be.

This movie has "menacing" down to a science. Here's the formula:

• hire Harold Pinter to write the screenplay

• get Christopher Walken and Helen Mirren to deliver the lines

• set it in Venice late at night, where every corridor seems to lead into a desolate, foggy, dead-end, and every road is a waterfront.

• shoot every camera angle with a weird twist.

• add the extra touches. Have a tracking shot sneak through an alley and come upon the young lovers. Have doors and windows being opened by unseen hands. Show plenty of close-ups of potential weapons for murder or torture.

You get the picture.

Comfort was directed by Paul Shrader, who co-wrote Martin Scorsese's best films. Shrader's direction is not as accomplished as his writing, but he's had some interesting if not altogether successful directing credits, like Light Sleeper, Cat People, and last year's Bob Crane biopic, Auto Focus. As you can see from that list, he likes dark, sexual themes and is not afraid of nudity.

I liked the movie, although it is certainly not a mass market offering. A truly creepy, odd, ultimately mean-spirited film which makes brilliant use of Walken as the vehicle for Pinter's omnipresent sense of dripping menace lurking beneath a patina of polite words. Walken, who is menacing while being amiable and polite, even while being gracious, was meant to act in Pinter's screenplays. There could be no better setting for these sinister goings-on than Venetian alleys and interiors.  This is probably the most fully realized example of Harold Pinter's genius on film, just as Langrishe Go Down is probably the worst example of Pinter-to-film.

C+. 6.0 at IMDb. 2.5 stars from Roger Ebert.

• Natasha Richardson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

OTHER CRAP:

• All the covers of MET-ART.COM
• Reverend Al calls it quits. Kucinich is the only hold-out.
• Nudity At Bikini Party Leads To Arrests In Daytona
• Months ago, al-Qaeda planned: Bombs 'to split Spain from allies' . "We think the Spanish government will not stand more than two blows, or three at the most, before it will be forced to withdraw because of the public pressure on it," the al Qaeda document says. If its forces remain after these blows, the victory of the Socialist Party will be almost guaranteed -- and the withdrawal of Spanish forces will be on its campaign manifesto."
• This is a series created a while back by Trey Parker and Matt Stone for Shockwave. It was never used, for reasons which will soon become apparent.
• Detroit Tigers exempted from steroid ban. In fact, to restore competitive balance, the Tigers are actually being forced to take steroids.
• MadonnaShots must have just about every picture of Madonna ever taken. Nudes, non-nudes, you name it.
• 300 excellent pictures of beautiful naked Hungarian chicks
• This is fantastic. McDonald's has a trip planner for any two addresses in the United States. It is incredibly detailed. It told me to leave my driveway by turning left and proceed exactly 130 feet in that direction, then turn right on Such and Such. Then it told me every single turn between here and my sister's house, 1665 miles away in Rochester, NY. Of course, it also shows the location of every McDonald's along the way. But that's cool. They need to partner it with non-competitive outlets. It would be really cool if it also showd me the location of every major chain motel, every Mitsubishi dealer, every tire repair store, and other such useful info for traveling.
• Turns out "Elliot in the Morning" was fined a quarter of a million dollars for a 50th birthday celebration for porn god Ron Jeremy!:
• The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook
• SXSW offers more than good movies in Austin.
• Trailer for The Notebook, "a sweeping love story starring Academy Award nominees James Garner, Gena Rowlands and Joan Allen opposite newcomers Ryan Gosling (Murder by Numbers) and Rachel McAdams. As a man (Garner) reads from a faded notebook to the woman (Rowlands) he regularly visits at a nursing home, his words bring to life the story of a young couple (Gosling and McAdams) who are separated by World War II, then passionately reunited 14 years later after their lives have taken different paths. Adapted by Jan Sardi with a screenplay by Jeremy Leven ("Don Juan DeMarco"), "The Notebook" reveals an epic story of love lost and found, of new beginnings and second chances."
• The trailers for The Calcium Kid . "Jimmy Connelly (Orlando Bloom) is a happy-go-lucky milkman who has the burning ambition to become the regional manager for his employers Express Milk Dairies. But Jimmy's life takes an unexpected turn when he accidentally injures Britain's contender for the upcoming boxing World title during a sparring session in his local gym, and puts him out of action. With no time to find a suitable replacement Jimmy is thrust into the boxing ring and onto the world stage as Britain's new hope for the championship, in a match of true David and Goliath proportions."
• Two new clips from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• Four new clips from "Jersey Girl"
• 7 more clips from "Taking Lives"
• Princess Di dated General Zod
• The front and back covers of Lynne Cheney's notorious lesbotronic novel, SISTERS
• If you missed your chance to create a silly Bush-Cheney poster fromt their official site, here is the program one more time from a parody site, this time with unrestricted text.
• The French say they nearly caught Bin Laden in Afghanistan. He got away from them with a traditional al-Qaeda trick - erecting in their path a makeshift store selling gourmet cheeses and rich sauces.
• Andy Rooney gets 30,000 mail responses to calling Mel Gibson a wacko
• Complete WrestleMania XX results.
• NCAA Basketball Men's Brackets for March Madness. St Joe's is still a #1 seed.
• Bad taste link of the day: The Passion of the Christ - with a catchy Mambo beat. and Rabbis cheering for his pain - with pom poms.
• JoBlo reviews Taking Lives with Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke and Kiefer Sutherland: "This isn't a film that's likely to go into anyone's 'Top 10 Thrillers of All-Time' list or inspire any major enthusiasm from fans of the genre, but on this night, going into my screening with the lowest of expectations, it held my interest throughout, maintained an effective dark style, manipulated the story enough for me to be somewhat surprised with the 'reveal' and offered many a close-up of Angelina Jolie's fat lips (as well as a gratuitous 'jolie' tit shot), for which alone, I'd have paid the price of admission. "
• Hey, Jane, I like that scent. What perfume is that? Why it's Mouseketeer Brand - for all your smell needs.
• Spectacular photograph of The Great Nebula in Orion
• GALLUP: Americans are suddenly very pessimistic about the economy. In January, 66% of Americans felt the economy was improving. That has fallen to 47% in just two months.
• More nude Janet Jackson paparazzi pics

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Follow-up:

• Shiloh stays on top of The L-Word. On Sunday, Rosanna Arquette showed some buns, and Katherine Moenning again flashed her gazongas. (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Susan Ward and Leila Arcieri in Wild Things 2. Arcieri's character takes the bra off, but her breasts and head are never in the shot together. (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Laura Linney in Love, Actually. Nice quality clip, not yet on DVD! (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Adriana Sklernarikova, great see-thru cleavage.

• Alicia Keys

• Beyoncé Knowles and her booty.

• Laura Linney (1, 2)

• Lauren Graham

• Naomi Ryan, the UK actress wearing a dress with see-thru thong and nipple views.

• Naomi Watts, pokies.

• Natalie Portman (1, 2, 3, 4)

"The Awakening of Gabriella"
Susan Featherly is Gabriella, and when you see some of the main actresses include Crystal Craft, Jeannie Millar, Anna Kaminskaia and Taime Hannum you know this film is not going to appear at the Academy Awards. There is some brief bush by Susan and the other actresses are at least topless. Judging by the editing I'd guess there is a more explicit version of this film out there somewhere.

• Susan Featherly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
• Crystal Craft (1, 2)
• Jeannie Millar (1, 2, 3)
• Anna Kaminskaia (1, 2)
• Taime Hannum (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Unknowns (1, 2)

"Carry on Follow That Camel"
No nudity in Carry on Follow That Camel but Anita Harris looks exquisite doing a belly dance.

• Anita Harris (1, 2, 3)

"Perfect Strangers"
Perfect Strangers is a British mini-series and we see a topless Claire Skinner and a nice Sarah Guyler.

• Claire Skinner (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Sarah Guyler

"The Haunting Passion"
The Haunting Passion is a telemovie and was very predictable. Some minor pokies by Jane Seymour.

• Jane Seymour (1, 2, 3, 4)

"Once Upon a Time in the West"
Sexy caps of Claudia Cardinale from Once Upon a Time in the West have appeared before but I don't think the brief (two frames!) nip slip has.

• Claudia Cardinale (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Cherish"
Very good pokies by Liz Phair and Robin Tunney in Cherish, with some side nudity by Robin.

• Liz Phair
• Robin Tunney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

"Bad Company"
Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon is supposed to be naked when taking a shower in Bad Company but she is obviously wearing something. However, there are some nice caps anyway.

• Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon (1, 2)

"Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is a bit of a chick flick but there are some nice caps, including some pokies, of Ashley Judd, Katy Selverstone, Kiersten Warren and Sandra Bullock.

• Ashley Judd (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Katy Selverstone (1, 2)
• Kiersten Warren
• Sandra Bullock (1, 2)

FATBURGER BUCKS THE HEALTH TREND
Want Fries With That? - With McDonald's eliminating Supersizing and Krispy Kreme working on a low-sugar donut, one fast food chain is bucking the health trend. California's Fatburger is launching a nationwide expansion of 250 new restaurants. A spokesman insists that the name harks back to its '50s origins, when "fat" meant "cool," as in "fat city." He also noted that they have a grilled chicken sandwich and will offer a low-carb bunless burger. But the signature sandwich is still the Fatburger, with 1/3 pound of meat, or the Double Fatburger, with two-thirds of a pound of meat.