 |
Tuna
|
"Cradle of Fear"
Cradle of Fear (2001) is a direct to video unrated horror offering made in the UK. It is a collection of 4 different episodes, linked together by an imprisoned rapist/molester/serial killer, who is using an evil angel to extract revenge on relatives of those who put him away. It would be more accurately described as one extreme scene of gore after another, punctuated with the odd breast, and dialogue that uses the F word at least three times in every sentence. I could discover no reason at all for the title.
Plot Summary and Complete Spoiler
First, we see an actress credited as Emily Bouffante, actually Emily Booth, pick up a guy at a Goth club, and take him home. He turns into some sort of monster, and performs unspeakable acts on her naked body. She then showers, and goes to have a sleepover with her girlfriend. She wake sup in the middle of the night, and a creature in her womb, or maybe it is her with a pair of scissors, or perhaps both, tears them both apart. We meet the head detective, who introduces the character of the serial killer. Then we see the serial killer go to great lengths to create a message about the next deaths and get the note to his evil angle. Why the evil angel doesn't just ask him is never explained, although the evil angel can appear and disappear anywhere else in the film at will.
The next two victims are burglars, and probably lesbian lovers. They break into an apartment, firmly believing that there is a large sum of cash there to be stolen. There is, but there is also a deaf guy sleeping in the bed that they find the money under, so they beat him to death, and then jump into his bath tub together. When Emma Rice admits to Rebecca Eden that her sister knows what they are up to, Eden kills Rice, then goes home with the cash. The ghosts of Rice and the dead guy show up and kill her.
The next couple are wealthy, but have a problem. He has only one leg, and that makes him impotent, so he steals a leg from a friend and has it grafted on. The leg gets even by killing her in a car crash. He stabs himself to death trying to rid himself of the evil leg. The evil angel shows up to kill at least one of the cops as well.
The final story concerns the son of the detective, who works for an ISP researching evil web content. It completely corrupts him. He brutalizes his girl friend. Her reaction? She quits her job and tells nobody. He then discovers the ultimate evil Web site, where, at least until your credit card gives out, you can cause actually pain, injury and even death to victims. He goes broke enjoying the fun at this site, and then goes looking for it, only to become the next victim, when the obligatory evil dwarf tricks him.
The detective finally decides to kill the incarcerated serial killer to put a stop to it. He shoots him a couple times just for fun, the guards restrain him, he regains consciousness, blows the head off of the evil angel, and kills the serial killer. The evil angel then kills him.
End Spoilers
In addition to the cheesy plot full of holes, The film features terrible acting, annoying lighting effects such as strobes, and gawdfawfull music at the threshold of pain. We have breasts, buns, and maybe a little bush from Emily Booth, brief breasts and buns from Rebecca Eden, breasts from Emma Rice, and breasts from Eileen Daly as the wife of the one legged man. IMDb readers say 4.6 of 10. Specialty reviewers praised it as the first British horror film to actually deliver. If gore is your idea of a horror film, you will probably feel the same way. The effects are mostly effective. Having four stories helped reduce boredom in the 120 minute effort. This is a C-, but will appeal to real gore lovers.
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Thumbnails
Eileem Daly
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12)
Emily Boufiante
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20,
21,
22,
23,
24,
25,
26,
27,
28,
29,
30)
Emma Rice
(1,
2,
3)
Rebecca Eden
(1,
2)
|
Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
|
Other Crap:
-
The Weekend Warrior looks at the new movies. Two wide
releases this week: 3400 screens for The Ring 2 and 2500 for Ice
Princess. Warrior thinks the Ring will open very big with $44
million.
-
"Does this make my labia look fat?"
- This week's major releases:
The Ring Two - 40% positive reviews so far.
- This week's major releases:
Ice Princess - 50% positive reviews so far. (Disney
film, rated G)
-
The Straight Dope: Where does the suffix "-arama," as in "foodarama,"
come from?
-
"It makes you feel like there's hope for America when people take
that much pride in their restroom"
-
Anal Sex According to the Word of God
-
Video coverage of SXSW 2005.
- The trailer from
Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic
-
In 1982, three kids from Mississippi set out to create a
shot-for-shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark and ended up
making history. Twenty-one years later, their fan film
creation has become an underground hit.
-
Don't do d' time if ya can't do d' crime. Whether he
did da crime or not, he won't do da time. Baretta has been
acquitted.
-
St. Patrick's Day "To Do" List
-
POLL: who is the hottest comic book babe to come alive on the big
screen? Interestingly there are other choices besides
Alba. Like Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Man, Silverstone's
career is firing on all cylinders, eh? Her only IMDb credits in
2004: Scooby Doo 2.
- Nominee #2:
for the Porn Title Hall of Fame
- Nominee:
for the Porn Title Hall of Fame
-
World Beard and Moustache Championships - Berlin - October First -
Be There or Be Hair (less)
-
Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard During Bill Clinton's
Hospital Stay"
-
The orchestra of Milan's prestigious La Scala opera demanded that
its musical director Riccardo Muti step down, citing
that "he looks too much like a morph of Andy Garcia and Martin
Landau"
-
Producers of the musical adaptation of The Lord of the Rings
announced Tuesday that they would premiere the stage spectacle in
Toronto after being unable to find a suitable theater to house the
production in London
-
Mario Vazquez gives Dave the "Top Ten Reasons I Left American
Idol"
-
Jay Leno Appears to Contradict Jackson Accuser
-
Here is the trailer for a documentary film called "Enron: The
Smartest Guys in the Room."
- AFTER TEN long years and millions of dollars,
Canadian scientists claim they have developed a new cuss word
which is the mother of all profanity.. "The word is so
horrible, Weekly World News has chosen not to print it."
-
The best-ever images from the Hubble Space Telescope
-
Sarah Jessica Parker has slammed reports she's undergone cosmetic
surgery. She said: 'I've had no Botox, no collagen,
nothing."
-
Bijou Philips falls out of her top at the launch event for
Playstation Portable.
-
OSAMA Bin Laden's niece has set her sights on becoming an Arab
version of Madonna, but no record company or talent
booker will hire her in New York City. Gee, what a surprise.
Ironically, the Windows on the World club on the top floor of the
North Tower would have hired her, but ...
-
Salma Hayek to play the part of a 280 pound, sex-mad psychopath!
That may be genius on her part, assuming she wants an Oscar.
"Glamour girl uglying up to play a troubled person" is almost a
sure Oscar path.
-
Jessica Alba Slideshow - wearing only panties Wow! No
topless shots, but she looks mighty good.
-
Microsoft Internet Explorer 7.0 Details Begin to Leak
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
|
Jr's Polls
|
The most recent poll for Best Oscar Winning Nude Performance wasn't even close.
To put it simply...Halle Berry kicked some ass.
Here are the official poll results and comments.
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.
|
Crimson Ghost
|
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...a few video clips from a couple of the "Friday the 13th" movies. Zipped .wmvs as usual.
- Here is Norwegian born actress Kirsten Baker baring all 3 B's for a skinny dipping scene from "Friday the 13th Part 2" (1981).
(1,
2)
- Debi Sue Voorhees showing off her big all naturals in scenes from "Friday the 13th Part V".
- Juliette Cummins also going topless in scenes from "Friday the 13th Part V".
- Tiffany Paulsen, baring breasts and bum in a scene from "Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan"
|
Spaz
|
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
Dawn of the Dead Redux (2004)
In the unrated R1 DVD the naked woman near the beginning
is obscured from digital blood added to the windshield of the car.
However on other international releases such as the Asia region
she is fully visible. This scene was missing from the R-rated
theatrical release so why is the restored scene digitally altered
on the director's cut?
- Luigia Zucaro: nude after getting ravaged in bus by zombies.
- Lugia Zucaro bonus 'caps by Mr. Skin from the German DVD.
(1,
2,
3)
|
DeadLamb
|
DeadLamb's latest batch of prime time skin highlights..
|
Hilary Duff |
The pop-starlett wearing Pam Anderson sized fake boobs during a guest spot on the UPN show "One on One".
|
Jennifer Beals |
Beals feeling up a topless chick in scenes from an episode of "The L Word". Sorry gang, I don't recognize Beals' lesbian conquest.
|
Mädchen Amick |
Here we see her in a bra as she changes clothes in scenes from the new TV "Jake in Progress" starring John Stamos.
|
Penélope Cruz |
Cruz wearing a very low cut top and showing some partial breast exposure/cleavage during a guest spot on Leno.
|
Vanessa Marcil
Nikki Cox
(1,
2)
|
Two of the "Las Vegas" babes doing their thing on Monday night's episode. Cox showed off her usual mega-cleavage. Marcil wore some very tight pants and some obviously fake pokies.
|
Variety
|
Jennifer Aniston |
Here's a sneak peek at Aniston showing some legs n' cleavage while wearing a French Maid outfit in scenes from her upcoming movie "Friends with Money". Currently the IMDb has this listed as a 2006 release.
|
Jessica Alba |
ahhhhhh, Alba. Here is the young goddess showing off some serious pokies while out on the town.
|
Maribel Verdú
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13)
|
Topless in scenes from the Spanish movie "La Estanquera de Vallecas" (1987). 'Caps by Flautista.
|
Shannon Tweed
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20,
21,
22,
23,
24,
25,
26,
27,
28,
29)
|
Vejiita 'caps of the former Heffer (November '81 and for the year '82) in scenes from the Fred Olen Ray action/thriller "Possessed by the Night" (1994).
Here's the breakdown:
sweaty tank top with pokies....links 1-11
Sweaty tank top and toplessness...links 12,13 and 14.
Having her undies stripped off...links 15,16 and 17
Topless while riding a dude...links 18-25
Topless while a dude is doing her from behind...links 26-29
It looks like she's finally passed the baton on to the next batch of late night babes. Throughout the 90's, Tweed was the undisputed Queen of "erotic thrillers". However, since she hasn't done anything since some PG rated guest appearances in 2003, I think it may be safe to say that we may never see her big'uns again...excpet of course for the usual 4 of 5 times a week on Skinemax.
|
Jennifer Jason Leigh
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10)
|
The "Fast Times..." co-star going topless in several scenes from the 1990 Alec Baldwin movie "Miami Blues" (1990). 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|
Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
|
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL UPDATE
They Didn't Think It Was Charming? - Michael Jackson's accuser claimed he
only denied that Jackson touched him because after a TV documentary revealed he
and Michael shared a bed, the other kids teased him and called him gay.
Hey, sharing a bed with Michael Jackson doesn't mean you're gay! It might
mean you're just stupid...or possibly a zoo animal of some sort.
Couldn't he have told them that he and Michael shared booze and looked at
naked chicks?
Or maybe he was just embarrassed to admit that a kid in the year 2000
still thought Michael Jackson was cool.
"BAYWATCH" BABE ARRESTED TRYING TO SAVE ELECTRIC CARS
The Landfill Rover - Monday in Burbank, California, former "Baywatch" star
Alexandra Paul and another woman were arrested when their environmental group
blocked the path of trucks hauling GM's EV1 electric cars to a recycling plant.
A GM spokesman said they don't want anyone arrested, but so few people bought
the EV1, it never turned a profit, and they can't afford to make all the
spare parts to keep the few that were sold safe and running.
That's implying they were ever safe...or that they ever ran.
Like "Baywatch" stars, the EV1 ran in slow motion.
Environmentalists should be happy: they're being recycled...into SUVs.
OBITUARIES
"A Date With Decomposition" - Documentary filmmaker Sy Wexler has died in Los
Angeles at 88. Generations of kids grew up watching Wexler's short films on
classroom projectors. He made hundreds of educational films, with such
exciting titles as "Squeak the Squirrel," "Teeth Are For Life," "How a Hamburger
Turns Into You" and "Venereal Disease: Why Do We Still Have It?"
All starring Troy McClure!
The funeral eulogy will be entitled, "Death: It's For Keeps."
|
|
 |
|